


A Slide Into First

by siempreniall



Series: baseball and kisses [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, M/M, slow burn narry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 03:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 92,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siempreniall/pseuds/siempreniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall's a minor league star baseball player, Harry's in love with him, Liam makes really good hot dogs, Louis's a mascot wrench, and Zayn shows up to pull everything together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the shitty title. It's pretty shitty.
> 
> I only have a basic understanding of baseball but I try really hard.
> 
> Sorry Michigan. I don't hate you.
> 
> I also think I should add that people in this story are fictional characters that are heavily influenced by a very popular boyband. What I write here is not a reflection of what occurs between two real people. Also, please don't like...send this to them? Not that I think anyone would but omg that would be my worst nightmare.

Harry wasn’t counting on there being much in Braxton when he first found out he was moving there, but he didn’t realize just how much nothing could fit into one town. He had thought that Jacksonville was enough of a cultureless hellhole, but he truly had never seen anything like Braxton. There was one library that was scraping by on any cents it could get out of the town government, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t find one decent music store, and the only café-like shop he could find specialized in coffee that he could only call “watered-down shit”. The only redeeming part was that he was nearly one thousand miles away from his horrible father.

“I don’t know why you didn’t come to live with us sooner, Haz,” said his mom from the driver seat of the sedan. He smiled as he hadn’t been called that pet name in so many years.

“Yeah, I can tell by the look on your face that you love it here already,” finished his sister, Gemma, from the back. Today was her first day not flipping burgers for the Braxton Wrenches since three summers before, and the first day of flipping burgers for Harry. She couldn’t be happier.

“You know, I’m probably gonna regret saying this later, but thanks for the job, Gem. I really need the money before going off to school. Dad stopped paying me for chores when…he found out-” Harry added. He had kept bringing up his father since he arrived in town a few days before, but every time he did his sister or mother would immediately start a new conversation.

“-I wonder who you’ll be working with?” asked Gemma, on cue with the diversion, “Nick quit at the end of last year and Kelly got knocked up so she’s out for the season. Vanessa’s studying abroad in Costa Rica or something. Liam? Liam’s the only one left from last summer, I think, and I barely know him so…”

“At least he’s not knocked up,” replied Harry.

“One could only hope,”

**

Braxton Stadium wasn’t actually as bad as Harry thought it would be. It was in the middle of downtown, or whatever downtown Braxton actually had, and was built rather recently. He had images in his mind of dilapidated buildings with cartoon wrenches plastered all over the walls. It was nothing to brag about, but it definitely could have sucked more.

“Ok, Harry. Gem’s gonna go in with you today, and I’ll come pick you two up, but from now on you’re gonna need to take the bus. It’s longer but I need to go to work and Gemma needs the other car to get to her own job. Listen carefully, work hard, be patient, other good qualities, etcetera, okay? Love you, bye!” their mom said as she blew them a kiss, then sped off.

“The office is this way,” said Gemma, and she led him around the side of the building.

No one was around the stadium yet because the game wasn’t going to start for a few hours, but Harry needed training. The manager, Paul, was already inside. He was a big guy with a manly beard, but sitting at his desk in his button-up pastel shirt and coordinated tie made him look a little less intimidating. Only a little, though.

“Now, that’s Paul. His real name’s Arthur but he goes by Paul. His superiors will call him Arthur but you call him Paul. Never call him Arthur or he will hurt you,” whispered Gemma. Harry’s eyes grew wide.

“Nah, I’m only joking. He’s a real sweety, honestly. But he doesn’t take shit or sarcasm or jokes that well. Unless they come from the mascot, but everyone has a soft spot in their heart for the mascot so I wouldn’t count on that happening. But don’t mess with him, really. He used to be a security guard and he can totally pick you up with one arm and pummel you with the other. He can, but he won’t. Now go get ‘em, Tiger,” Gemma continued as she pushed him through the door to the office.

“Gemma, nice to see you again. I see you’ve brought along little Harold?” Paul asked.

Harry laughed at someone calling him little. He was 6’1” and a regular at the gym. No one had called him little since 7th grade, when he had his first growth spurt.

“It’s just Harry, actually,” said Harry, confidently.

“Harry? Harry Styles is your real name?”

“Yessir,”

“That’s a name for a popstar, son. Anyways, here’s your uniform. Now go get changed and we’ll get someone to finish up your training. Am I clear?”

“Yessir,” Harry said as he grabbed the packet of clothes from him and stepped into a bathroom to change.

It was a definite departure from his usual style. He traded in black skinny jeans with leather over the knees for a pair of khakis. The oversized white t-shirt was given up for a red polo, corporate logos on the back and all. The signature, old beanie was replaced by a new baseball cap with a cartoon wrench on the front. Needless to say, this wasn’t very Styles-ish.

As he returned to the office there was another person standing there with Paul and Gemma. He was a few inches shorter than Harry, but he filled out the uniform better with muscles all over. His head was shaved, good for the summer heat, and he was a bit burnt on his nose.

“Hi! I’m Liam, and I’ll be training you today!” he said with the biggest smile imaginable.

Gemma came up behind Harry and whispered in his ear, “Oh yeah, now I remember why I forgot about Liam. He was always too excited so I just…tuned him out,”

Liam couldn’t hear what she had said, but he waved at her all the same.

“Enough chatting, get up to the concessions. We’re opening sooner than you think,” demanded Paul.

Gemma waved goodbye at her kid brother as he officially started his first day at work. He reluctantly followed Liam up the stairs. Harry zoned out as Liam rattled on about how working here didn’t seem very fun, but it really is! Harry was sure he had to be joking, but the sincerity in his voice couldn’t be missed. They finally arrived at the stand, and Harry saw a few people already working there. There was a tall, lanky kid introduced to him as ‘Mark but call me Pablo don’t ask why’, a shorter and even more muscular kid named Josh, and a pretty girl named Caroline who looked like she was more fitting to be a designer rather than working for the Braxton Wrenches. She had managed to make her uniform look chic. Well, as chic as possible.

He only got to speak with them for a few moments before being swept away by Liam to learn everything about the stand. Surprisingly, there is a lot to know about serving unhealthy food to the sweaty masses, and there are a lot of ways to royally mess everything up and get fired.

“Lucky for you the season started a month ago and it’s a one in the afternoon game on a Wednesday. We’re obviously not expecting a big turnout,” Liam said, trying to comfort the nervous Harry.

Harry was stuck in the position of handing food to people, leaving the registers to Liam and Caroline. Before he knew it, the rush came. In the span of about 5 minutes, a total of 20 whole people came. And just as it had come, the rush was gone.

“Told you, really not expecting a lot,”

These small groups of peoples continued until the game finally kicked off, and Harry couldn’t have been more bored. His father was a big fan of the Major Leagues so he didn’t know  _nothing_  about the sport, but he tried to know as little as possible. Organized team activities weren’t really his thing. All he knew was that the Braxton Wrenches sucked, but the team they were playing today, the Lake County Captains, sucked even more.

“We’re gonna win today, hopefully. We’re not really that good save for one player, but he can’t support an entire team can he? So really, don’t underestimate this team’s ability to drop the ball. Literally and figuratively,” started Liam on some small talk.

“Mmhmm,” Harry responded.

“Hey, where do you live?”

Harry eyed Liam’s out-of-place question with suspicion but responded none-the-less.

“I forget what it’s actually called, but it’s an apartment complex north of town. Out by the airport,”

“Grand Wood Crossings?”

“Yeah, maybe?”

“That’s perfect! We live out that way!”

“We?”

“My family. My brother works here, too. He’s just lucky enough to get away from concessions,”

“Lucky’s the word I’d probably use, yeah,”

“Anyways, wanna carpool?”

“Uh…eh…oh? What?”

“It’s just that I assumed you probably would have to take the bus or rely on your sister and mom for a ride. But that’s just silly as we’ll probably work a lot of the same shifts and I have to pass your place to get here,”

Harry wasn’t used to actively getting along with people as forward as Liam, but he thought he might as well try. It might make the three months left until he can leave for Northwestern not suck that much.

“Actually, that’s really nice and helpful. I’ll take you guys up on that, for sure,” responded Harry.

Liam smiled, but Caroline alerted the boys to the fact that a rush of people had arrived. Liam spun back around and said “Howdy!” to the incoming crowd. He had a real way with people that Harry didn’t quite understand, but it made him smile.

The rest of the game passed without problem, and soon it was over. The last rush of the shift occurred as everyone left, and then they started to pack up. Gemma found Harry as they were cleaning the stall down and gave him a giant thumbs up. She was so focused on him, in fact, that she missed the giant wrench approaching her. It crept right behind her ear and screamed “Gemma” and the top of its, very loud, lungs and she gave a big jump and scream back. When she saw who it was who had scared her, though, she laughed and gave him a play-hit.

“Lou, you scared me to death, asshole!” she giggled.

“Be a doll and help me out of this, please,” said the wrench.

Gemma helped the poor soul wriggle out of his costume and out stepped a short college-aged kid. He could not have been over 5’7” and was darker than any other person there, save Caroline. Apparently the Michigan winters didn’t stop his tanning habits. His light brown hair was pushed down against his forehead by sweat, but he pushed it up into semi-quiff.

“Do I look damn sexy?” he suggestively asked Gemma.

“Of course, you dirty devil,”

“Kiss me!” he said as he lunged at her. Harry was tense with protectiveness over his sister, but as soon as it was apparent that Louis’s kisses were playful, and Gemma started to giggle, he let up.

“Ah, I see you’ve met my brother!” Liam said as he walked up next to Harry.

“You two…related?” Harry questioned. They had some similar features, but they really were completely different.

“Don’t remind me!” Louis yelled as he let go from Gemma.

“Louis loved me for most of our lives, until the day I finally grew past him in height,” continued Liam.

“You bastard!” Louis screamed. Liam just laughed the insult off.

“So how was the first day of work, little bro?” asked Gemma.

“Oh don’t tell me you’re related to Miss Beautiful over here!” Louis exclaimed.

“It was fine. I didn’t even catch anything on fire!”

Gemma joined everyone back in the kitchen to help them clean up as Louis returned his mascot costume to the backstage area. Harry prattled on about his day to his sister until he heard a loud voice boom through the stand.

“Leemo! Where’s my dog?”

Harry looked towards the front expecting Louis to be standing there, but in reality it was one of the Braxton players. He was about 5’10” with a fairly good build. Blond highlights snuck out of his cap into slight curls that gave him the look of a teenager. Or maybe he actually was a teenager?

“Here you go, Ni,” Liam said as he handed the kid a chili-cheese dog with extra onions and pickles and a smothering of BBQ sauce. Harry had seen Liam make it before, but had only assumed he was gonna eat it himself.

“They serve good food to the players down there, but nothing beats a Ni-Dog,” the kid said to no one in particular, until Harry realized he was actually speaking to him.

“Oh uh, a what?” Harry asked.

“A Ni-Dog. A Niall-Dog. The best god damn thing not on the menu,”

“Nile? As in the river?”

“No, Niall as in N-I-A-L-L. Niall as in a Gaelic male name meaning ‘champion’. Niall as in my dad moved out of Ireland when he was five but couldn’t resist giving his second-born a name to confuse the hell out of everyone in America,”

“Niall as in first-baseman extraordinaire, best damn hitter on the team, only just graduated from high school and is already being tracked down by MLB teams…” Liam explained.

“Stop it,” Niall managed to mumble out through a mouth-full of ‘Ni-Dog’. He was genuinely blushing at the compliment.

“Oh, you’re the only good player on the team, then? The one who is keeping the team afloat?” Harry asked. Gemma hit him on the forearm.

“I mean, my teammates work really hard and there are some saplings of talent among them. We can’t win them all,” Niall shrugged.

Harry for the first time remembered that he didn’t know the outcome of the game and squinted to see the scoreboard. It seemed that they had been leading the entire game, until the final inning. Liam leaned over and whispered to him (really to his nose) “Niall was 4th to bat in the final inning but everyone struck out ahead of him. If they could have gotten him up to bat the team would have won for sure,”

Harry expected Niall to be sad or angry or at the very least disappointed that his team lost another game. Instead, he just looked damn happy to be eating his hotdog.

“Niall’s like the chillest person I know,” started Liam as he slipped alongside Harry. “I’ve never seen him cry or frown or even get a little bit agitated. He wants to win, sure, and he has the drive! He just doesn’t let it affect him. You’ve seen him! He’s the only player worth shit on this team but he would never tell you that. He’d rather tell you about the awesome catch that Sandy made the other day, or the homerun Ryan almost hit (even though he was way off), or how fast the batboy can run. If you try to compliment his pale Irish cheeks will blush and he’ll turn away,”

“Are you an encyclopedia on all things Niall?” Harry asked.

“He’s the youngest on the team, and he feels it, so he kinda hangs around here with us youngins when he grabs the chance. I’ve managed to learn a lot about him in the one month he’s been here,”

Harry looked back at Niall at saw that he was actually extremely good looking. He was pale as hell with flushed cheeks, probably from the sun and activity, but he pulled them off. His hair was slightly curly and framed his face quite well (Framing a face? Is that a real thing? Harry wasn’t quite sure). He had stunning blue eyes with little hints of green. He even noticed the invisible braces on his teeth, which made Harry feel sad. This kid was already leading a minor league team and he didn’t even have his dental work all done with. In all reality, Niall looked nothing like Harry’s type, so he didn’t know why he was having problems getting the kid out of his mind.

“Horan!” someone yelled from the concourse.

Niall turned his head towards the voice and a middle-aged man came into view from off to the side.

“Horan, we’ve been looking for you!” cried the man again.

“Sorry, coach. I’ve just been up here to get something,” replied Niall.

“I know about your stinking Niall-Dogs, son,”

“Ni-Dogs,” Niall whispered quietly.

“Just get back down to the locker room and don’t get barbecue sauce on your uniform. Again,”

“Yessir,” said Niall, as he turned to go down the hall that led to the team’s rooms. Harry noticed his number – one.

“That’s Coach Cowell. He’s produced a surprising number of really good players from this team, despite the fact that we suck. I don’t know why he hasn’t moved up to some place better, yet. He seems to have a ton of talent, just not much to work with,” said Liam.

“Do you know everything?” asked Harry.

“This is my second summer working here and there’s not much else to do but pay attention to the gossip and drama surrounding the inner-workings of a shitty baseball team,”

“Harry!” Gemma yelled from further back in the kitchen, “Mom’s on her way to pick us up,”

Suddenly there was an arm around Harry’s shoulder.

“I actually thought you could come out for dinner with us, mate. Our treat,” said Louis, barely hanging onto Harry due to the height different.

“Uh, that’d actually be really nice. I’ll take you up on that, yeah,” Harry replied.

“Suit yourself,” Gemma said as she left the stand, “Just don’t stay out too long,”

“So where are we going?” Louis asked, turning to Liam, arm still awkwardly around Harry.

“I don’t know. Maybe  _Don Juan_?” suggested Liam.

“It sounds Mexican. Is it Mexican?” asked Harry.

“It’s as close to Mexican as you can get in a small town in the middle of Michigan, yeah,” replied Louis.

“Great. Fucking love tacos,”

**

 _Don Juan_  is not an actual restaurant, like Harry had been hoping. Instead it was a taco and churro truck in a parking lot of the central business district. A bunch of construction workers and a few tired businessmen were surrounding it. Harry didn’t know things like this actually existed outside of movies.

“You brought me to a moving vehicle to get food?” he asked, clearly disturbed by the idea.

“Shit it can move, yeah, but it’s not now. And it has the best ‘kinda Tex-Mex’ food in town and it’s 2 bucks for one taco and a dollar for a churro. It can’t get better than that, can it?” asked Louis.

“I guess it can’t be that bad,”

“That’s the spirit! Not that bad!” chanted Liam.

Up at the truck he saw that when they said ‘taco and churro truck’ they meant it. They were the only two items on the menu. There weren’t even any toppings listed on the taco. Just taco.

Louis and Liam ordered 3 tacos each, and of course an order of churros. Harry tried as hard as he could just to order one taco, but Louis wouldn’t let him hand the man his money until he ordered at least one more and a side of churros. Harry felt that with any person he would’ve become annoyed and just left, but with Louis it made him smile and laugh. He acquiesced and got what Louis and Liam had ordered.

The man behind the window gave them their food and they went to sit at a picnic table, next to one overcrowded with construction workers. Harry stared at the food in front of him; he literally had no clue what was on the taco.

“We’re not quite sure what’s in it either, mate. As long as you don’t have food allergies you should be fine, though,” explained Louis. Harry still wasn’t convinced.

“We’ve gathered that there’s probably avocado, some kind of sugary fruit? And like the normal salsa and sour cream and stuff,” helped Liam, “Come on! We wouldn’t have brought you here if it wasn’t really good!”

Harry decided to trust the kids he met only a few hours before and took a bite. And he was surprised at how amazing it was.

“Ok, yeah, it’s good. But do you even know what the meat is?”

“That’s the one thing we asked the owner. It’s chicken,” replied Louis.

“You mean it’s not a big secret? He’ll just tell you what’s in it?”

“Oh, yeah! But then it’s not fun anymore!” Liam said excitedly.

Harry had to smile at the absurdity of that, but he continued to eat his three tacos and devour the churros afterwards. At least the churros were normal. Sugary, soft, cinnamony. Everything he could have wanted from them.

Liam and Harry scarfed their food down, but Louis seemed to be a delicate eater and savored every bite. It took him 20 minutes after the other boys to finish all of his food. It didn’t help that he loved to talk, too.

“So, what brings you to boring-fart, Michigan?” he asked Harry through a mouth-full of taco.

“Uh, well. It’s kinda complicated but not really. A few months ago I got kicked out of my house in Florida by my dad, but I couldn’t leave because I had to finish school, so my dad and I just kinda didn’t murder each other until my graduation last week. My mom and sister came down to see me walk across the stage, then I flew back to Michigan with them,”

“Oh, wow. That really sucks,” Liam said. It wasn’t a very comforting thing to say, but Harry didn’t expect more from a stranger.

They sat in silence for a few moments until Louis finally broke it.

“Why’d you get kicked out, then?”

“LOUIS JESUS CHRIST THAT’S SO PERSONAL YOU CAN’T ASK THAT THAT’S SO RUDE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU,” Liam yelled as he sprang to life. The workers at the table next to them looked at them strangely.

“No, you know what. It’s okay. I’ll tell you, it’s no big deal anymore. It’s because I’m gay,”

“Oh, is that all?” Louis said, very nonchalantly and seemingly genuinely.

“Well and my dad’s a raging homophobe. I’m surprised he hadn’t found out earlier, really. He has a near-obsession with finding out who’s gay or not. He nearly moved me out of my third-grade class because my teacher was a lesbian. Ah, good ‘ol dad,” Harry explained.

“And you didn’t leave immediately? I couldn’t imagine living with a man full of such hatred,” said Liam, looking legitimately concerned.

“I really needed to graduate. Not to mention my existence in the house was a constant reminder that he ‘failed’ as a father to keep his ‘only, pure son’ out of the influence of ‘flaming homos’. His words, not mine, obviously,”

“Good on you, mate, for getting out,” Louis said, finally finishing his second taco.

“Well now that you two know about me, explain to me how you are related. Because you are nothing alike,”

“Okay fine, we’re brothers, yeah? But we’re step-brothers,” Louis explained.

“Yeah my dad married his mom like a long time ago,” explained Liam.

“I was four and Liam was two when they got married, I think,”

“Whirlwind romance, and such,”

“And since then they’ve had four, beautiful, bouncing, annoying-as-shit baby girls,”

“And I brought two sisters with me to the family,”

“We’re like the Brady bunch, except we have no Alice to keep everything in order. And instead of a beautiful, big home in Southern California we live in a shitty townhome in the middle of fucking Michigan,”

Harry smiled. At least someone hated Michigan as much as he did.

“Louis will you finish eating, please?” Liam asked.

“Have you quite finished?” Louis asked.

“Why do you keep saying that?!?! You’re the one not done!”

Louis smiled as his brother unraveled before his eyes.

**

“So Grand Wood Crossings?” Louis asked from the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, apartment number 316,” Harry said from the back, his legs scrunched up against the back of Liam’s seat. They were almost to his complex, and it hadn’t taken that long considering Louis had sped the entire way.

“You know the entire baseball team lives here,” Liam added.

“Oh, really,” Harry said. He thought he did a good job of sounding uninterested, but in reality he was totally into the idea of Niall being his next-door neighbor.

“Yeah, teams always try to get themselves into really cheap housing,” said Louis.

“Thanks?”

“Shit, sorry,” Louis apologized as Liam punched him on the shoulder.

They pulled into the complex and Harry was able to navigate them to his building safely.

“Say hi to Gemma for me,” Louis yelled as he sped off, leaving Harry in front of his building.

Harry walked up the two flights of stairs and into the small living room. His mom had moved into there to sleep on the pullout couch. Harry now had her room. She was eating some Chinese take-out in the kitchen, but she bounded out of her seat when she saw Harry come through the door. They hugged and she pet his curly hair. They sat on the couch and watched the news for a bit while Harry told her of his first day at work.

He told her of how Liam trained him, and about going to Don Juan’s (which was  _not_  a restaurant) and how Paul was maybe the most intimidating person he could imagine. He purposefully left out a special little blond boy. She listened with a smile on her face the entire time and said “I’m so proud of you for making friends!” through a toothy grin. Harry never understood how making friends was always at the top of his mother’s priorities, but he was always happy when she was proud of him. And she usually was.

He let her watch  _Wheel of Fortune_  in the living room and walked back to his new bedroom. It still had all of his mother’s old furniture in it because there wasn’t any room for it to go, so it looked rather girly. The only parts of him in there were his laptop, his grey comforter, and hundreds of photos littering the walls from Florida. They were a pain to put up and he knew they’d be a pain to take down when he went to school in September, but they were necessary in order to stop have regrets about leaving his friends behind.

He opened up his laptop and crossed his finger that one of his friends would be on Skype. He was in luck and he clicked on the only name available.

“Hi, love!” shouted a boy from the screen. He was thin with long brown hair that hung around his shoulders.

Harry smiled at the first look of his best friend, Carl, since Harry had left Florida. He giggled while Carl started talking about what he had missed in Jacksonville “To be honest, a whole lot of nothing,” and started to eat some kind of sandwich he had sitting in front of him.

Carl and Harry had dated secretly for six months starting at the end of the year before. Their close-knit circle of friends knew, but that was it. It was a tad taboo because no one else knew that Harry was gay, and also because Carl was decidedly much older. Already out of college, he was working in Jacksonville for the local news station, but he had aspirations of hosting his own show for a national audience one day. He had a natural charm and charisma about him that would aid him through the tough media, and Harry was sure his big break wasn’t too far away.

“Did you meet any cute boys to replace me?” Carl asked through batted eyelashes.

Harry smiled again and replied with a drawn-out “Nooooo,” even though he felt that Carl could tell he was lying.

They had broken up right when Harry told his dad about his sexuality because they feared what would happen if his dad had found out that not only was his son having these ‘unholy urges’, but he was also acting on them. It was a mutual decision that was aided by the fact that Harry would be leaving for school and long-distance relationships never work, but they both were still recovering from it. Carl was Harry’s first love and Harry was Carl’s first functional, loving relationship in years. Harry couldn’t help but shake the idea from his mind that had they not been afraid of his dad, they would still be together.

Carl started talking about some idiot that he had to work with at the station who kept on insisting Obama was born in Kenya, and Harry kept on commenting on how much he missed Florida, and Carl talked about how crowded the beach was getting these god damn tourists, and Harry told Carl that he longed to lay in a hammock with him again like they did all those months ago. Carl continued with distractions that might help Harry forget how far away Michigan was from Florida (800 miles), but Harry wouldn’t allow it to work. He felt at home in his misery.

“Shit, Harry, it’s already midnight,” Carl said. Harry hadn’t noticed that five hours had practically flown by while talking about ‘Ni-Dogs’ and bong hits and ‘watered-down shit’ and Florida humidity.

“Are you sure you have to leave?” Harry asked, adding a hint of puppy dog eyes.

“Unless I want to oversleep and be fired in the morning, yeah,”

“I don’t know why you stick around, you fucking hate that station,”

“Why’d you stick around with your dad?”

“Fucking hell, man,”

“Sometimes life’s not as easy as ‘I don’t want to be here so I guess I’ll leave,”. Ja feel?”

“I feel, man. I feel,”

“Good, see you sometime later this week?”

“Love you,” Harry added quickly.

“Bye,”

Carl’s cam quickly switched off, and Harry still felt the sting of how unromantic their conversation had been. He had seen movies where love still held up over Skype. But an old relationship that has since gone long-distance, between the world’s two most boring cities, doesn’t quite make the best movie. Harry quickly brushed his teeth and stripped down to his birthday suit, falling asleep to dreams of cute boys with metal mouths and hair made of sunshine. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Harry turned to smile at Niall, and Niall smiled back. He didn’t know what this meant. Hands around waist, smiling, giggling. Or was Harry being paranoid under the influence of Budweiser and Bacardi."
> 
> Or the one where Zayn throws a huge party and Niall is celebrated like the hero he is.

Louis and Liam picked Harry up approximately 20 minutes late the next afternoon.

“Fuck, guys, are we gonna be late for work?” Harry asked as he scrambled into the car. He wasn’t ready to be fired on his second day.

“Nah, Louis’s always late so I always allow him at least twenty minutes of buffer-time,” explained Liam.

“Couldn’t you have explained that to me, too?”

“Probably would have helped, wouldn’t it,”

“Probably,”

“Alright, quiet down, love birds. Louis needs time to focus,” Louis said, referring to himself in the third person.

Liam turned around and whispered, “Louis likes to concentrate and get into the ‘wrench mindset’ before games. He doesn’t like talking,”

“I CAN STILL FUCKING HEAR YOU,” Louis yelled.

Liam quickly turned back into his seat and zipped his lips with an invisible zipper, then threw an invisible key out the window. Harry laughed at how much that didn’t make sense.

Sure enough, the ride to the stadium was quiet as this seemed to be a thing that Louis actually did, not just something to annoy Liam. It was a humid afternoon and rain was definitely on the horizon, it was the first of many times Harry would find himself feeling lucky that he wasn’t the mascot. He didn’t think being a soft, wet wrench could be that fun. At the stadium Harry and Liam said their silent goodbyes to Louis and headed to the concession stand.

“It’s Thirsty Thursday, so we’re surely in for a great time!” Liam said sarcastically. He wasn’t one to use dry humor too often.

“What’s that? Like, do we have to make jello shots?” Harry asked.

“Just dollar beers. I’m sure that’s illegal somewhere – to sell alcohol for less than soft drinks,”

“Aw I wanted jello shots!”

Unfortunately, the Thirsty Thursday combined with the later start time made the game actually kinda busy. The ‘rushes’ were real rushes of many people coming all at once, all demanding to be waited on quickly, all wanting a nice cold one. Harry started to sweat and he could feel his hair sticking to his forehead. He was sure it was _totally_ attractive.

Then the game finally started and they had a moment to breathe.

“I’ve never wanted a beer so badly in my life,” Harry shouted to Liam. Liam merely pursed his lips and shook his finger at the idea of that. Harry was honestly not sure if Liam was genuine in his disapproval, but he laughed anyways.

It soon started to rain and some people took shelter under the concourse, causing them to buy food. And then it would stop and they’d go back out. And then it would rain again and they’d come back inside. It continued like this for the entire game, until it was finally over. Harry never wanted to sell a hot dog and Miller Lite combo ever again. He finally managed to squint hard enough to see that, holy shit, they had actually won! He looked down on the field and saw the entire team was hugging.

The stand fed the last of the masses, and then started to clean up. Harry was elbow-deep in cleaning pans when he heard a loud, booming voice singing “We Are the Champions” through the concourse. Right on cue, Niall showed up at the window.

“Leemo, my man! Where is my Ni-Dog?” he shouted.

Liam ran to greet him, Ni-Dog with hand, but he thrust it down on the counter and gave Niall a hug instead.

“Congrats on the game!” he yelled in Niall’s ear.

Harry looked over and saw that Niall had quite literally the biggest smile on his face. He was the dictionary definition of the word ‘beaming’. Suddenly, Louis appeared behind them and joined the hug.

“You!” Louis yelled, pointing at Niall, “You!”

Niall was starting to blush, and Harry settled himself in for some discomfort for Niall.

“This man, this man _right here_ ,” Louis yelled, hugging Niall around the shoulders so that his arms were held down, “Hit one homerun, two triples, and had two double-plays. He’s a fucking legend, I tell ya,”

Everyone in the stand started to cheer for the star player, but Niall broke out of Louis’s grasp (relatively easily) and grabbed his dog. It was what he was there for, anyway.

“It’s nothing, really. Their pitcher was pretty down this game, and my teammates obviously assisted on those double-plays. It’s not as impressive as you make it out to be,” Niall said, taking a giant bite out of his hotdog. Sauce started to dribble down his face, but Liam grabbed a napkin and wiped it up.

“Get back to work!” Pablo yelled from the back of the stand, and Liam returned to his spot scrubbing the grills. But as Harry turned to leave, Niall yelled out to him.

“Hey, Curly Man!” Niall yelled. Harry did a quick spin to face him.

“What’s your actual name, by the way?”

“Oh, it’s Harry. Did I not tell you?”

“Nope,” he said through a mouthful of hotdog.

“I’m Harry. Harry Styles. Originally from Jacksonville, but just moved here to live with my mom and sister a few days ago,”

Niall’s mouth dropped.

“You’re not from around here either?” he kinda yelled.

“No… it kinda sucks, right?”

“Yeah! I’m from Boston so coming to Braxton is like downgrading from a Range Rover to a Honda Civic. Still functions, but there’s a lot less room and a lot less fun to have,”

“How did a kid from Boston end up in a minor-league team in Michigan?”

“They had the best offer. And honestly, I wasn’t that good in high school. I mean, I wasn’t bad obviously. You don’t get into any leagues by being bad, but for some reason between when I graduated last January and now, I got a whole lot better,”

“Styles, I don’t call that fucking working!” Pablo yelled again.

“Sorry, man. Really got to get back now,” said Harry, backing away from Niall.

“No biggie! I’ll see you around!” Niall said before walking away.

The crew quickly finished cleaning and left the stadium. Louis was waiting in the car, texting someone on his phone. Liam got into the front and Harry squeezed himself into the back again. He was considering kicking Liam out of shotgun.

“Hey pals, one sec,” Louis whispered.

“Louis, you’re not talking on the phone you’re just texting,” Liam correctly pointed out. Louis responded with an impossibly loud “shh”.

They sat in uncomfortable silence until Louis finally put down his phone and addressed them.

“We’re going to a party tomorrow, boys,” he said as he buckled himself in.

“What? Where?” Liam asked. Harry was intrigued.

“While you two were on all fours scrubbing that kitchen, or whatever you do, I made friends with a new PR intern and he’s throwing a party tomorrow. He lives in some nice building downtown,” Louis started speeding away.

“Where is it?”

“Tellmark Tower. Apt. 1004. He said he can get a lot of alcohol and there’ll be some hot chicks. Not that that’ll tempt you, Harry, but I’m sure there’s got to be some fine young ass for you there. Like mine for example,”

“Lou, are you hitting on me?” Harry asked.

“Don’t feel special. He hits on everything,” explained Liam.

“It’s a joke,” said Louis, “…usually,”

**

The next day Harry woke up around noon. It was Friday so his mom and Gemma were both at work. He made himself an omelet, watched some cartoons on the TV, and vacuumed the living room, all while in the nude. He finally decided to at least put some clothes on as he took the garbage out. The sun was pretty hot and he tried to get to the dumpster and back as quickly as possible, but something caught his eye. Someone was jogging around the parking lot. A hot blond wearing a tanktop and a pair of basketball shorts.

Harry stopped moving as soon as he saw him. He remembered that the baseball team lived there, he just kind of casually forgot. Harry quickly threw the garbage in the bin, and then tried to hurry back to his apartment. Niall found him anyways.

“Harreh! What’re you doing here?” he yelled, running over in Harry’s direction.

“Oh, I, uh, live here?” Harry responded.

“No way! Me too! Apartment 1503. I live in an apartment with 3 other dudes from the team. Except the youngest one is 22 so there’s a bit of an age gap to bridge…”

“You guys aren’t on the way to a game right now?”

“Oh no! It’s our day off. Trust me, we don’t get many, but we do get _some_ ,”

“Oh, that’s neat,”

“They’re the best, honestly! Love games, but I’m all blown out,”

“Yeah, and your days off are our days off, too!”

“I’m pretty sure you have a few more than us…”

Harry felt dumb. Before he met Niall he was plenty confident with guys, even ones that were straight. He could easily hang out with people he liked, and he did it quite often, so he didn’t know why Niall was different. Now he was reduced to little comments that barely moved the conversation forward. He decided there and then to make a move, even if it was only towards friendship.

“Are you doing anything tonight, then? If you don’t have a game?”

Niall’s face fell as he took off his snapback. He sighed and pushed his hair back with his hand, and broke the bad news.

“Sorry, man, I am! I wish we could hang but I guess not tonight. Maybe another time?”

He seemed earnest, which made Harry feel better.

“No! No worries! Yeah, we’ll just have to catch up another day. Um, I’m apartment 316 if you need me,”

“Thanks! I’ll keep that in mind! Hope you find something to do! Gotta get back to the apartment. See ya!” Niall yelled as he started to run off.

Harry returned to his apartment and kicked off his jeans. He may have just been extremely awkward with his first new crush since Carl, but nothing made him feel better than being naked.

**

Harry saw Louis and Liam’s car pull up right on time, 10:30. He was expecting them to be late so he had to rush out of the door. He didn’t even have time to kiss his mom goodbye. When he got to the car outside he realized why it wasn’t late – Liam was driving.

“I told him he had to get in the car or I was leaving without him. He tried to knock me out of the way so he could get back to the bathroom, but I was able to wrestle him to the ground – with one arm – and I punished him by sticking him in the back,” Liam explained. Louis was looking angry, sprawled along the backseat in a way that made him look like a child.

“My legs thank you. My knees have become too close of friends with the backs of your seats,” Harry said. Louis rolled his eyes at the joke but Liam burst out laughing.

The drive to downtown wasn’t that far, and with Liam behind the wheel Harry didn’t feel as if his life was constantly in danger. Tellmark Tower was the nicest new building he had seen since he got there, and the tenth floor seemed to be the penthouse. Harry was amazed as he walked into the lobby and was greeted by a doorman.

“So these things actually exist?” Harry asked.

“You know, bud, you seem quite smart. But you do know that everything in movies is based off real things from real life, right?” Louis said.

Harry just smiled.

They arrived to the top floor and found apartment 1004 quite easily, considering there was only 4 doors. The sound of a heavy bass was already radiating from inside. They knocked on the door and a happy (and kinda drunk) guy answered the door.

“Lou-aaaayyyyy!” he yelled.

“Zennnnn!” Louis yelled back.

“As these your pals?” ‘Zen’ asked.

“Yea, man! This is my brother Liam, and our friend Harry. Harry held out his hand for the guy to shake, but he insisted on a hug instead.

“I’m Zayn!” he yelled in Harry’s face. Harry thought he might have been aiming for the ear, but he couldn’t be quite sure.

“Come on in before my neighbors kill me for the sound!” he yelled, beckoning them through the door with a flick of his wrist.

Louis was barely through the door before he headed towards a thin blonde standing by the DJ stand. Zayn left Liam and Harry alone to go to talk to some friends, and the two of them decided to make the most of a free party. This meant that Harry headed for the bar, and Liam for the kitchen.

“Liam, mimosas!”

“Harry, salmon!”

“Do you…not want a drink?”

“Nah, I’m the DD,”

“Shit, I didn’t even think about that,”

“Enjoy the mimosa, I’ll enjoy the fish. Promise!”

The two mingled, although considering they knew literally no one in the apartment they didn’t stray far from each other. Harry met a nice girl named Lela, though once she started to hit on him he quickly backed off. He also met a pair of twins, Nicki and Sami, that he sent off to see Louis. He felt that Louis might be able to appreciate them more. He had already had two drinks when the door opened and a crowd of cheers filled the apartment. Harry stuck his head out from the kitchen but failed to see what was causing the commotion. He turned back around to find himself some of that salmon that Liam would literally not shut up about when he heard someone yell out: “Curly Man!”

Harry spun around and was suddenly face to face with Niall. He took a step back in surprise and accidentally knocked over the tray of salmon. Niall cracked up at this. Harry felt that he should’ve been mortified, but the alcohol mixed with Niall’s laugh just made it hilarious. Zayn made his way over to the commotion and picked up the fish, assuring Harry it was no big deal at all.

“You walk much?” Niall spit out after he was finally finished laughing.

Harry just giggled and pulled Niall in for a hug. He caught himself by surprise as only hours before he had been scared to even face Niall, but champagne was notorious for deadening his mind against anxiety. Niall seemed to be a natural hugger who was not put off from close space with near-strangers.

“Here, let me grab you a beer!” Harry yelled at him.

“It pains me to say it, but no thanks! I’ve got to get up early tomorrow. Going to this party is already pushing it. If I came home with beer on my breath Cowell might actually kill me!”

“I’ll drink it for ya!”

Harry grabbed a can from the bucket and went out with Niall to sit on a couch that had once been home to a couple making out. Liam quickly found them and sat down on the other side of Harry. Niall started to yell over to him.

“You’d never believe it but Harry and I saw each other earlier! He asked what I was doing tonight and I said I couldn’t do anything because I had somewhere to be, but that place was here! And he’s here! Crazy, right?”

“No way! That’s hilarious!” Liam yelled back.

All three of them started laughing at the circumstances, which weren’t really that funny to begin with.

Harry had started to feel himself getting quieter. He knew how his body reacted with alcohol, and he usually stopped talking as much around the 4th or 5th drink, but he had only had two and a half. Either way, he sunk back into the couch and let Liam and Niall talk. Niall started talking about how his parents were planning to visit him at the end of June and Liam explained to Niall his major – mechanical engineering – and what he was doing with that the next semester. But soon Niall’s mind turned to food, which Harry figured it probably did often, and Niall begged Liam to make him a Ni-Dog. Liam didn’t think Zayn had all the necessary ingredients in his kitchen, but the two left to see what magic Liam could come up with.

Harry could see little peaks of Niall through the kitchen doorway and couldn’t help but admire how god damn hot he looked. He was wearing a ¾ length white shirt and a pair of teal jeans, paired with a signature navy snapback. All Harry wanted to do was take off his stupid hat and rustle his hair, maybe pull it a bit. And rip off the shirt with his teeth and sink his nails into Niall’s pale back. And tear off his jeans with enough force to knock him off his feet. Basically Harry just wanted to overtake him, but then through the door he saw Niall do a little jump. He danced and hopped with the glee of getting some yummy food, and then Harry couldn’t decide if he wanted to bed Niall or take him to the zoo.

“Mate, if looks could kill…” Louis started as he plopped down next to Harry on the couch. Harry had seen him take a few shots earlier so he was definitely smashed.

“Oh, sorry, that’s a thing I just kinda do. I stare at people like I both want to ravage and kill them, but in reality I’m just having daydreams about kittens or something,”

“Are you sure? Because right now it looks like you’re admiring my brother’s ass,”

Harry let out a burst of laughter so forceful he was had to cover his mouth.

“No, no. Liam’s hot but I’m not into him, sorry,”

“Shame, you would’ve been an awesome brother-in-law,”

Niall and Liam then returned from the kitchen, Niall now holding a plate of some sort of grilled cheese creation. Niall retook his seat next to Harry while Liam squeezed next to Louis. The four of them were pressed together on to a couch built for three, but somehow it was still comfortable. Niall’s right leg was draped over Harry’s left and his arms were forced in front of Harry’s chest so he could eat comfortably, and Louis’s head was resting on Harry’s shoulder as the alcohol was making him tired, and Liam laid comfortably into Louis like it was normal. Harry was amazed at how the four of them fit together so perfectly, and how at home he felt with them. He was so comfortable that he picked up the half of Niall’s sandwich that he had yet to eat, and started to take a bite.

“Fuck, Curly, what are you on?” Niall yelled.

“What? What!”

“That’s my griller! You didn’t even ask! I would’ve said no, but still!”

“I’m hungry!”

“So am I! That’s why I forced someone to make food for me!” Niall snapped as he snatched the sandwich out of Harry’s hands.

Liam leaned over and whispered into Harry’s cheek: “That is legitimately the first time I’ve ever seen Niall mad,”

Before Harry could apologize there suddenly was a body over top of him. Zayn had flung himself across the sofa, ending face-down in Liam’s crotch. He turned his head and was able to kinda yell: “Are you lot having fun?”

Louis sprung to life and screamed in Zayn’s face “Yeah, son!” but the momentum of moving forward made his face fall into Zayn’s, which in turn fell into Liam’s crotch. Niall and Harry couldn’t stop themselves from laughing, and Harry realized how much he liked Niall’s laugh. And he hoped that in the morning when he woke up and Niall was in some small stadium in Indiana or Illinois or wherever, that laugh would stay in his mind.

**

The drive back to the apartments was a quiet one as Louis was curled into a ball in the back seat, trying his hardest not to barf. For once Harry didn’t wish to be in the front seat. He wanted to be in the back seat, next to Niall, where it would be easier for his eyes and mind to wander.

“Where do you live, Ni?” Liam whispered from behind the wheel.

“Just drop me off with Harry. I’ll make sure he gets up the stairs okay,”

Harry turned around and said “Are you sure?” maybe a little too loudly.

“Yeah it’s no biggy. It’s not that far to my apartment and I need to make sure you don’t fall or something,”

So Liam dropped Harry and Niall off in front of building 3, and Niall held onto Harry’s waist as they walked up the stairs together.

“Okay, so…maybe this was a good idea. These stairs don’t look as steady as they usually do,” Harry explained.

“Good! Don’t wantcha falling! Then you won’t be there every home game to watch me eat my Ni-Dog!” Niall said, following it with a laugh. Like he did with everything.

Harry turned to smile at Niall, and Niall smiled back. He didn’t know what this meant. Hands around waist, smiling, giggling. Or was Harry being paranoid under the influence of Budweiser and Bacardi.

When they finally got to the third floor they stood there awkwardly, Harry’s mind racing as he tried to think through whether or not Niall was trying to go for a kiss when Niall interrupted.

“Are you gonna get your keys out or…”

“Oh, shit, the door’s unlocked! I know my mom, she didn’t lock it because she knew I was coming home,”

“Well then, by all means Mr. Styles, go in and enjoy the rest of your night,” Niall said as he gestured towards the door with both hands.

“Night, Ni!” Harry whispered as he opened the door slowly. Niall skipped away and started down the stairs.

Harry’s mom was asleep, but she stirred when the door closed.

“Haz, is that you?” she asked, barely awake.

“Yeah, mom,”

“Are you okay? Alive?”

“Perfectly so,”

“Good, go to sleep,”

And Harry trudged back to his room and flopped onto his bed. He was so full of angst and unfulfilled, drunken sexual desires that he nearly forgot to get nude before he drifted off to sleep. Nearly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Niall looks fantastic in his uniform,” Zayn noted as they sat down.
> 
> “Yeah I guess,” Harry was able to stammer out.
> 
> “Woah, reign in your excitement,”
> 
> But Harry hated to admit how much it was true. After games Niall would always greet them out of his uniform, or only with part of it on. Seeing him in the whole thing, cleats and all, was seeing Niall in a whole new light.

It turns out that the Braxton Wrenches were a busy little team, and for the next ten days the team was gone. Ten consecutive nights of away games. Liam came over the first day (Louis was still mega-hungover from the night before) and Harry and he went out to the mall. The next night there was an X-box tournament over at Zayn’s place, alcohol included. The entire week was full of minor diversions like those: biking, taking drives around the surrounding area, smoking weed in a field. And nearly every night Harry talked with his friends back home through Skype. Carl was always on, but sometimes Cara or Nick or Ed joined him. His friends, in both Michigan and Florida, weren’t going to let Harry pass this summer by idly.

In reality, Harry needed this break from work. He felt himself forgetting about Niall and becoming more interested in his other friends. Not in _that_ way, of course. He just felt that this time apart from focusing on Niall helped him get closer to these other crazy people that had inserted themselves into his life. He learned that Zayn only took the internship in Braxton because he had been lazy and missed the deadlines on the other internships actually in NYC. Louis was going to school for supply chain management, but his real talents were in the theatre. He had been Danny in “Grease” that spring, and his performance drew critical acclaim from all the media outlets at MSU. Liam was an avid runner who had once been third in the entire country back in middle school, but had since fallen to just barely being in the top 100. They even hung out with the one of the other guys from the snack stand once or twice, Josh, and he showed them his aptitude for drumming.

Harry felt stupid for ignoring these people before. Sure, Niall was fun and cute and always seemed to put a smile on Harry’s face, but these other people he had surrounded himself with were just as special. Liam was always interested in what you had to say. Genuinely, enthusiastically interested. Louis knew how to annoy the hell out of you and make you want to kiss his ass at the same time. Zayn could be quite reserved at times, but at others he was able to run circles around you with his energy. Those ten days flew by so quickly that Harry didn’t realize when they were over.

**

Harry was awoken by three loud bangs on the front door. It was the last day of his break from work before the team returned to play at the stadium again, and he was cherishing his time to sleep in. They had stayed up late the night before playing poker at Zayn’s place, so he was a bit unhappy when he had to get up. He didn’t feel like putting on clothes just to appease the UPS guy so he grabbed a towel to throw around his waist. He regretted the decision immediately when he opened the door to see Niall’s face.

“Ooh, did I catch you at a bad time?” Niall asked in a joking manner.

“Shit, fuck, uh, come in. Let me…just go…fix this,” Harry said.

Niall made himself comfortable on the couch while Harry tried to run back to his room in the least-awkward manner possible. He threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt he was pretty sure he hadn’t washed yet, but he was in such a hurry that he barely noticed. With a few swipes at his hair he was ready to be presentable for Niall.

Niall was staring at picture frames on the end table when Harry came back into the room. Niall was wearing a tanktop and a snapback again. Harry was pretty sure that was his entire closet, but he couldn’t be one to judge considering his consisted only of skinny jeans and white tshirts.

“Ah, better,” Niall said, looking up at him from the couch.

“So, um, don’t mean to be rude. But why are you here?” Harry asked, following it with a small cough.

“Not rude at all! I would have called but I don’t have your number so… anyways I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to Wal-Mart?”

“Ooh, what a wonderful place for a date,” Harry said as he started to eat a banana, hoping Niall would catch that it was a joke. Praying, really. Luckily, Niall let out a particularly loud chortle.

“No, no! I just need to pick up some stuff and I’m tired of asking my teammates for rides and I hate the bus with a passion. I’m pretty sure you have a car?”

“Actually, I’m sorry to say that my mom and sister both have cars, but both are unfortunately at work right now-“

“No I’m not,” said Gemma as she walked out of her room.

Harry saw Niall’s eyes follow Gemma into the kitchen as she got herself a glass of water.

“Great,” Harry thought, “Another of my friends to have a crush on my sister. At least it’s not my mom this time,”

“What? Why aren’t you at work?”

“Have the day off! The Jeep’s yours, little bro, if you want it!” she said as she threw her keys at him, which he dropped.

Harry looked at Niall and he was nodding his head excitedly with his mouth wide open, looking closer to a child than an adult.

“Yeah, okay then,”

“Yeah, buddy!” Niall yelled in a voice that sounded vaguely drunken Irish.

“Oh, and thanks, Blondie, for waking me up with that horrendous laugh,” Gemma yelled out.

Harry could have killed Gemma, but Niall just did the same laugh and tipped his hat at her.

**

“Bieber?” Nialled yelled from the passenger seat as Harry keeled out of the parking space, “Are you seriously playing Bieber?”

Harry stopped the car in the middle of the road.

“I’m just gonna make myself clear on this right here. I’m not friends with people who think themselves above pop music. If you can’t appreciate the pop beauty behind ‘As Long as You Love Me’ then get out,”

“Are you fucking joking, man? Me, not appreciate Justin Drew Bieber hailing from London, Canada, winner of seven American Music Awards, recipient of the Diamond Jubilee Medal? Dude, I once paid $300 for shitty-ass seats to see him in concert. It was the best night of my life,”

Harry laughed. His friends at home tolerated his music choices, but it was nice to have someone to obsess over Justin with.

“Thank you! I tried to get tickets for his last tour but I just couldn’t afford them,”

“Man, you missed out! What a legend,”

The drive to Wal-Mart consisted of a lot of Niall talking. He could probably take Louis on in a talking competition, if that was actually really a thing, but surprisingly enough, nothing Niall talked about related to baseball. He talked about his brother, and how he was getting married soon, and he talked about gummy bears and Justin Bieber’s new acoustic album and this place called Nando’s that he ate at once when he visited D.C. on a school trip. Niall seemed to have a million things to talk about, but each individual story only lasted maybe 30 seconds. By the time they reached the megastore a few miles away, Harry thought he had seen small snapshots of Niall’s entire life.

In Wal-Mart Niall headed straight for the snack food aisle in a move that would shock literally no one. He immediately put a pack of Chips Ahoy in his cart, followed closely by a few Snickers bars, a case of cupcakes, and a carton of Ben and Jerry’s. Harry followed Niall behind, staring at his purchases with a mixture of wonder and judgment.

“Niall, no offense, but how do you eat all this junk and stay as thin as you are?” he asked.

“None taken! I have the metabolism of some alien creature not yet known to man, I think. I can eat and eat and eat and not put on any weight, actually. It’s quite a challenge when you’re in a sport that requires muscle mass. I probably eat enough protein a day to kill a small child to make up for it,”

“Is that actually a thing? Eating too much protein?”

“Hell if I know, I just eat what the nutritionist tells me to,”

“And he recommends a daily dose of Ho-Hos?”

Niall spun around, looked Harry straight in the eyes and said, “Everyone should have a daily Ho-Ho,”

Niall didn’t laugh like he usually did at fucking everything so Harry was pretty sure Niall would be outraged at the fact that Harry had never tried that particular snack.

They continued on to the other aisles so that Niall could get food and supplies to actually live on.

“Niall-” Harry started.

“-You know, you can call me Nialler? Or Ni? Everyone does,”

“Ok then, Ni, what made you want to do baseball? Like, not play it, but make it a career?”

“Nice question, Curly Boy! I guess I just started realizing that baseball was more than just a part of my life - it was everything about my life. I didn’t have posters of Playmates up in my room; I had pictures and trading cards of Lou Gehrig, Jimmie Foxx, Glenn Burke, Albert Puljos, Billy Bean, Derek Jeter, etc. All I could think about off the field was how much I wanted to be on it. Nothing made me as pumped as hitting a ball. Just, everything revolved around baseball and I didn’t want it _not_ to, you know?” Niall explained. Harry was proud to recognize some of the players he had heard, probably from his dad watching Sports Center.

“That sounds really nice, actually. To know what you want to do so badly. I mean, I’m going to school for law but I’m not positive what I’m gonna do with it. And I really wish I did,”

“Don’t fret, bro. It’ll come in time. You’re only eighteen, life has only just begun!”

Harry smiled and felt a small buzz in his pocket as he got a text. Niall continued down another aisle to get approximately ten boxes of assorted pasta.

“Leemz: Wanna commeeee over n hannnggggg? ? :)”

“Can’t, out with Ni atm,” Harry texted back.

“Leemz: Ooh like a date ;)”

“Lulz funny. >:(,”

“Oh, speaking of your phone, Harry, can I getcho numba, girl?” Niall asked, cradling a loaf of bread like it was a child.

“What?” Harry asked shortly, startled by the question.

“Well, if we’re gonna hang out or whatever I think it’d be best if we had each other’s numbers? So I don’t have to wake you up at 10 by knocking at your door just to see if you’re in for a Wal-Mart visit,”

“Sorry, yeah, no big deal. I just haven’t been asked by a guy for my number in a while,”

Niall pulled out his phone and Harry told him his number, and Niall texted him a message containing only emojis of food. Harry saw Niall put his name as “Curly Man” in his phone, so Harry returned the favor with “Blondie” in his own. Niall barked out a laugh.

**

Harry drove Niall back to the apartments and helped him carry all his groceries in. He saw that the baseball players lived in the 4-bedroom apartments, double the size of his own. All of their doors had the players’ names on them. Niall’s nameplate had a cute little shamrock on it so Harry had to assume that the other players didn’t really hate Niall.

“I don’t think any of the others are home right now,” said Niall as he tried his best to hold on to all of his bags and unlock his door at the same time, “Jon’s family’s visiting so he’s out with them, Sandy’s usually at the gym right about now, and Dan’s gone to the movies with a few of the other boys,”

He finally got the door open and Harry walked into a surprisingly tidy apartment.

“Wow,” Harry said as he placed the bags carefully on the counter.

“Yeah, you were expecting a shithole, weren’t ya? If you went into the boys’ rooms you might find the mess you’re looking for, but I make sure to keep a clean ship around here. Sometimes I feel like their mother,” Niall explained as he took a sharpie out and started marking all of his purchases with a neat ‘N’.

“And I really hate it when people eat my food,” he continued as he stared Harry down.

“Woah-oh! Sorry to hit a nerve!” Harry said jokingly, and luckily Niall laughed.

“I was drunk and my friends back home don’t care,” Harry explained.

“Well they’re fucking angels to put up with it,”

Harry felt an awkward silence coming on so he asked Niall if he could use his bathroom.

On his way to the toilet, Harry was able to see into all of the rooms. Three of them were messes, but one was completely orderly with the Irish flag hanging over the bed. It wasn’t hard to guess which one was Niall’s. He continued on to use the bathroom, but on the way back he couldn’t help but sneak another peak into Niall’s room and saw a guitar on a stand by the door.

“Hey, don’t mind me being a creep, but I couldn’t help but see a guitar in your room,” Harry said.

“Oh yeah! Fucking love the guitar. I picked it up in sixth grade when I wanted to stand out from my brother. See, he’s real smart and he was a star baseball player in high school so I wanted something that was just Niall. And that’s what I chose, I guess. It turns out that I ended up being much better than Greg at baseball anyways, but it was the only thing different between us for a while,”

“Wait, your parents named you Niall and your brother gets the normal name of Greg?”

“I FUCKING KNOW RIGHT?”

“But yeah, the guitar’s cool. I can play like two songs,”

“Yeah, which ones?”

“ _Yellow_ by Coldplay and _Teardrops on My Guitar_ ,”

“Interesting choices!”

“My, er, friend from back home, Carl, can play, and those are the ones he taught me,”

“If you want I can teach you some new ones some time. If I ever have a moment to myself, that is,”

“That’d actually be amazing. Thanks!”

“Sorry to do this, now, but I’m gonna have to kick you out,” said Niall as he tried to figure out a way to shove all his boxes of pasta into an already-full pantry.

“Is this payback for eating your grilled cheese?”

“NO!” Niall yelled as he let out a chorus of ha’s, “It’s just that I’ve got to do a little run and then take a shower and stuff. Team’s going out for a dinner tonight,”

“Oh, don’t let me stop you! Yeah, I’ll leave,”

“Wait, before you leave, one thing,”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, already with one foot out the door.

“Are you gay?”

“Shit, what?” Harry exclaimed in utter surprise, closing the door quickly.

“Well, it’s just, at the store you mentioned getting guys’ numbers. And I’ve been thinking about it, and well, just are you?”

“Uh, yeah I am. I’m out and everything to my friends and family. It just never came up between us,”

“Fuck, sorry. That’s like, not a thing you should ask, isn’t it?”

“It’s normally kinda weird. Most people just want to tell people in their own time, when they feel comfortable about it,”

“God, shit, I just don’t know that many gay people. Like, not really any. Besides you. Fuck I’m such an insensitive little shit,” Niall said, hitting himself on the head.

“No! Don’t beat yourself up over it…literally. I’m not offended! But others might be, if you did that again, you know?”

“Fuck I realize that now! Shit, no one would ever ask me if I’m straight,”

“This doesn’t make things weird between us, right?”

“Only if it’s weird for you to be friends with someone who would ask such a _stupid_ -”

“No, but seriously, did that change our friendship in any way? Because back in Florida I had friends distance themselves from me after they found out and it fucking hurt. I’ve been enjoying hanging out with you and I want to make sure you’re still in this friendship before I get in too deep and you abandon me out of fear that I’m making passes at you all the time,”

“No, no! God, no!”

“Good. Oh and while you’re at it, don’t set me up on dates with other gay guys just because we’re both gay. That’s not a defining characteristic of my personality,”

“Dude, all my friends are my teammates and the ones you’ve already met. None of them are gay to my knowledge,”

“Yeah, just thought I’d let you know other stupid things to not do,”

“Ha, thanks,”

**

Sure enough, the next night Niall arrived at the snack stand after the game was over (another loss) and their friendship continued as if nothing changed. The night after was the same. And the night after. As the Wrenches left again for another round of away games Harry felt secure in the fact that Niall did not feel weird around him.

Harry was also sure that his crush on Niall was gone. While he cherished every moment he and Niall spent together, Harry stopped thinking about him like _that_. His hair, teeth, nose, freckles, biceps, collarbones, snapbacks, were no longer constantly at the forefront of his mind. Instead, he thought of Niall as just another part of their cohesive friend group. Harry relished in not having a crush on anyone. While it lasted, anyway.

**

The Wrenches soon returned from their trip to West Michigan, where they had not been victorious yet again, and were back to playing in Braxton. Niall was talking to Harry over a Ni-Dog about how their bus broke down on the way back when Paul came bursting through the concourse.

“Styles!” he yelled.

“Yessir! Getting back to work, sir!” Harry yelled back as he grabbed a broom and started sweeping the floor, a task he had already finished. Niall laughed as Harry squirmed.

“Not that, Styles. Well, yes that. Do your work, please. But I just thought I’d let you know you have the day off tomorrow,” Paul said.

“We…get days off?” Harry questioned.

“Yes, but rarely. Enjoy it. And get back to work!” Paul said and stormed away.

“Ooh, Styles, how are you planning to enjoy your day of freedom?” Liam asked as he started wiping down the counter next to Harry.

“Come see me play!” Niall said, face open into a gigantic smile.

“Yeah, Ni, I’m sure Harry wants to have a day off from work, just to return back to the hellhole he escaped from,” Liam joked.

“No, actually, Nialler I’m gonna take you up on that offer,”

Niall’s smile somehow got even bigger as he turned to stick his tongue out at Liam.

“I win!” he cried out.

“Wait, really?” Liam asked.

“All my friends are here, what the hell else am I gonna do? Talk to myself?” Harry answered.

“You could always hang out with Zayn,” Liam offered.

“Hell, he can come along. Plus, I’ve always wanted to see our residence cutie play,”

Niall started to blush.

**

Zayn did end up coming along. Nothing too special was happening so the crowds were low, and Harry and Zayn hung out around the concession stand a lot, talking to Liam when no customers were around. As the game was ready to start Zayn and Harry took their seats down by first base. They wanted to be close to Niall so they could actually see him. Harry soon realized this was a mistake.

The Braxton Wrenches ran out onto the field, and although Niall was not the biggest or the tallest, Harry could not believe how much stronger he looked in uniform. The team took their spots on the field and Harry could not stop thinking about how damn _hot_ Niall looked. Harry had texted him before the game to tell him where their seats were so Niall started to look in the stands for them. Zayn stood up and starting waving his hands, screaming “Nialler!” at the top of his lungs. Niall quickly found them and started waving wildly with both arms flailing in full force. Harry was too distracted to notice, and only came to when Zayn hit him in the shoulder. He stood up next to Zayn and waved back. This made Niall smile wide and laugh. Harry swore he could hear it, even from that far away. Even over the roar of the crowds and the booming sound system.

“Niall looks fantastic in his uniform,” Zayn noted as they sat down.

“Yeah I guess,” Harry was able to stammer out.

“Woah, reign in your excitement,”

But Harry hated to admit how much it was true. After games Niall would always greet them out of his uniform, or only with part of it on. Seeing him in the whole thing, cleats and all, was seeing Niall in a whole new light. He didn’t look cute, he looked hot. He didn’t look cuddly, he looked strong. The uniform was all white, except for the black Under Armour that stuck out underneat, wicking up the sweat on the sweltering hot day. The cut of the uniform led to Niall’s shoulders looking actually somewhat broad. Harry for the first time noticed that Niall didn’t have much of an ass, but he didn’t really care because neither did he. And he also saw that Niall was left-handed, a little quirk that was oddly endearing to Harry, but probably shouldn’t have been.

Harry had never seen Niall so much as throw a ball before, so the first play where Niall jumped what must’ve been five feet in the air to make the catch, Harry was impressed. Play after play Niall was in control. He never missed a catch, never fucked up a throw. Even when he was hitting everything was on point. By the 5th inning the team was winning 2-1, thanks to two spectacular hits by Niall.

“So he’s actually really amazing,” Zayn said, eating a soft pretzel.

“Yeah! I mean, I haven’t watched baseball in forever but even I can tell that there’s something special about him,” Harry added.

“Coaches and recruiters keep on coming in from all over to look at him. Boston, Houston, Tampa, you name it! Toronto comes down the most, obviously, since this is one of their feeder teams. But they’ve all got the hots for Niall or something,”

“Who wouldn’t?” Harry mumbled under his breath.

“Wha?”

“Nothing, nothing,”

“Anyways we’re actually getting a lot of good press thanks to him. Everyone’s hoping to see him play before he makes it big in the Major Leagues,”

“You know, people make fun of hipsters, but everyone’s one at heart!” Harry added, watching Niall sign autographs for little kids hanging over the fence around the dugout.

As they were talking, a giant wrench came up behind them and then proceeded to run at them full-speed, knocking into them in their seats. Zayn took the brunt of the force while Harry merely got knocked about a bit.

“LOU WHAT THE FUCK!” Zayn screamed, maybe a bit too loudly considering there were loads of kids around.

He merely scooted off of them and scurried back up the steps and out of sight.

“How does he keep friends?” Zayn asked.

“You know, I think about that a lot. And then I feel like Louis could literally get me to jump in front of a moving train just for his enjoyment,” Harry responded.

“He’s wasting his time in supply chain management. He could probably charm an entire nation into electing him president,”

The rest of the game went rather poorly for the Wrenches. By the bottom of the 9th the opposing team was up by 2. With two outs and two on base, Niall was up. He was their best player and their last hope. It was like a fucking storybook ending. Well, if he clinched it that was.

The entire stadium was on their feet hoping for the third win of the Wrenches’ season. Harry was used to things out of movies by now, so he was expecting 2 strikes and 3 balls before Niall made his outstanding hit, bringing the guys on 2nd and 3rd home.

Nope.

On the first pitch Niall hit the ball hard and deep. It was out of the park before anyone knew what to do with themselves. The entire stadium erupted into cheers as Niall ran his little heart out to home. The team was there waiting for a dog pile. Zayn was hugging Harry (and somehow managed to pick him up) and Harry was screaming louder than he felt he ever had before. Somehow, for the moment, Harry had forgotten his little crush and he just felt immense pride for his buddy. Niall’s face was red with exertion and happiness. He was certainly too far away to hear laugh, but it still rang in Harry’s ears.

The entire crew of the concession stand waited in front of the counter for Niall to arrive for his nightly Ni-Dog, even Pablo. They were so damn proud of him that they were able to forgo work for just a few minutes. Harry swore he could feel his hands shaking as they waited for Niall to come from his usual hallway. Once the doors opened and they saw his grinning face the lot of them ran to hug him. Niall was enveloped in many group hugs that day.

Shouts of “Legend!” and “Hero!” and “Amazing bastard!” ran through the concourse and no one could keep from smiling. Niall’s laugh bounced off the concrete and echoed back to the group. Harry could not remember a time in his life when he felt more joy. Niall went among his friends, getting hugs and handshakes and pats on the back from each person. Harry was pulled into a hug, and as the two embraced and laughed, Niall pecked Harry on the cheek, except his missed. And as everyone got caught up in the pandemonium they were the only two the notice that Niall had just kissed Harry on the lips. And as Niall continued his rounds Harry stood dumbfounded on the side. All those times he imagined his first kiss with Niall, it was never a little peck that shouldn’t have been. More often than not it included some tongue and maybe a little more handy work, but Harry had not expected anything like what had just happened. And he wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just didn’t. And as he drove home that night after dropping Zayn off, he ran his fingers over his lips.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And Lou,” Harry asked.
> 
> “Yeah?”
> 
> “You didn’t need to remind me of home. This is home now,”
> 
> And although Louis made a gagging sound, Harry knew he was smiling a bit too.

Niall just loves everyone, Harry thought. He’s nice. He loves to show everyone how much he cares. He’s not even fucking gay! He was just excited, too caught up in the moment. Are you really getting worked up over a peck on the cheek? Didn’t he kiss Liam that one time? No, no he hadn’t. No he hadn’t fucking kissed any of the rest of them only Harry. But it truly had to be nothing. Right?

**

Harry sat at the top of the stadium texting Carl. It had been two nights since the ‘kiss’ and Harry still couldn’t stop thinking about it. He felt really stupid for being hung up on it, but he couldn’t get it out of his mind. Niall had figured out Harry was gay, could he had discovered the crush, too? Harry had avoided Niall since then. Both nights since he had taken out the garbage, or just simply hid, when Niall was supposed to come and get his ‘Ni-Dog’. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up, or how much longer he wanted to.

Liam had the day off and Louis had to stay in the stadium until the fireworks that night were over, so Harry was left waiting for his ride home. As the firework show began, a butt found its way into the seat next to his. A cute butt attached to an even cuter body.

“Hey, Curly Man,” Niall said casually, leaning close to Harry so he could be heard over the sounds of the booms.

Harry squirmed.

“Did you catch any of the game?”

“Uh, not really. I was working really hard. Thirsty Thursday. Lots of dollar beers to be handed out,” Harry replied, keeping his eyes focused on his phone.

“Yeah, it sucked. Even I wasn’t that good,”

“Couldn’t have been that bad. You’re amazing,”

There was a silence as neither could continue the conversation.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” Niall asked suddenly.

“What!” Harry said, jumping to life and looking Niall in the eyes for the first time.

“You’ve been hiding from me! Barely responding to my questions!”

“I’m…I’m just in a weird place right now. And I can’t really explain. I don’t even know if I can explain it to myself!”

“But it’s not me? I didn’t do anything,”

“No, Ni. It’s me. It’s all me, I swear,”

“Okay…”

Both of them reclined in their seats as the lackluster fireworks shot above their heads. They were loosely choreographed to a medley of American songs. Harry was acutely aware that Niall and he were the only two in this section, and how awesome it would be to make out with a metal mouth under the sparkle of pyrotechnics. Niall’s knee slowly moved towards Harry’s as he got lost in the show, and Harry focused on it until it was suddenly jerked away and Niall sat up.

“I didn’t mean to kiss you. I know you’re hung up on that and I don’t know why you wouldn’t just come up to me and ask me about it. I was excited and you were so happy I just did what felt natural!”

“Natural?”

“Don’t read into it, god. Just, I like to kiss people! It’s such a beautiful way to show someone you appreciate them and it’s been twisted into this thing that’s only reserved for love. My family and I kissed all the time growing up and everyone found it weird. But it’s just because I’m comfortable around you and you seem like such a receptive person. I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward,”

“You don’t have to apologize,”

“Are we alright now?”

“I was hiding from you. That’s so dumb of me, I know. And I’m sorry,” Harry choked out, getting a little caught on the final word.

“They’re looking for me,”

“Wait…what?”

“My team. I have to go they’re looking for me,”

“I’m still sorry,”

“I understand,” said Niall as he pushed off of Harry’s knee and left.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief as he had been dreading a real conversation with Niall, an actual confrontation of the events that transpired days before. He wasn’t sure how their relationship would move on, but he just crossed his fingers and prayed that he hadn’t royally fucked everything up.

**

The next day Niall grabbed his ‘Ni-Dog’ and Harry didn’t run away and Niall called him Curly Man and Harry laughed at Niall’s jokes and everything was right.

**

Harry sat on the steps outside of his apartment, waiting for Louis to roll up; he was over the normal 20 minutes late. Harry wasn’t sure where they were going, but with Louis at the reigns it was sure to be fun. At his feet was a tote bag he borrowed off his mom that held his trunks, a towel, and ample amount of sunscreen. Harry didn’t know why he needed these things, just that he did.

Finally Louis’s red Camry rolled up to meet Harry.

“For once it wasn’t me!” yelled Louis from the front seat, “I was basically on time!”

Harry climbed into the back again, knees scratching the back of Louis’s seat. Niall was in the back as well.

“By ‘basically on time’ he means _only_ ten minutes late, of course,” explained Liam.

“If you have problems with my sense of time then you can leave the car, Liam. Anyways, it wasn’t me! We sat outside Niall’s for like five minutes waiting for him, and when he didn’t come out we knocked on his door, angering a very muscly baseball man in the process,”

“Jon will be pleased to know someone appreciates his muscles for once,” Niall mused from the side.

“Anyways, Niall was still asleep! We whooped his ass into the shower and packed for him. And that’s why we’re late! Not me!”

Harry looked over at Niall as he just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. It made Harry giggle.

“Onward!” Louis yelled as the car sped forward.

They started heading west on the highway and Niall fell asleep. Harry didn’t blame him because the night before the four of them went to a party at some friend of Louis’s house. Stan? The only reason Harry was alright was that he let himself become the D.D. Niall had three straight days of time off, and Louis was taking advantage of every minute of it.

“Lou, how is your head not banging right now?” Harry asked.

“I’m just ignoring it!”

“That barely feels safe,”

“Since when is driving with him ever safe?” Liam asked, and Louis slapped him in the balls.

After 2 hours the friends finally reached their destination, and Harry was impressed. Louis had found him a beach.

“It’s not Florida, and the water might be a tiny bit cold, but it’s actually really highly rated and clean and we can build sand castles and I don’t know,” Louis explained.

Harry leaned forward in his seat and squeezed Louis’s shoulder.

“It’s actually perfect. Thanks,”

It was hot, but no clouds were threatening to ruin their day of fun. They all threw down their towels next to a family with several small children. Louis produced a cooler and a few beach toys from the trunk and Liam came back with a parasol he had just rented. All in all, Harry started to feel just at home among the sand and the seagulls and the pieces of trash that littered the ground around him.

“Harreh, boy!” Niall yelled from a few feet over, “Up for some volleyballey?”

They played doubles: Niall and Harry on one team, Louis and Liam on the other. Although Niall was a star baseball player, his volleying skills left a lot to be desired. Like a lot. Each time he dove for the ball Niall would just end up with a face full of sand.

“I can’t play hungover!” Niall screamed.

“Excuses, excuses!” Louis yelled back.

Niall swung his arms and stomped the ground in a way that Harry was sure was supposed to resemble a fit.

“Can’t we just play in the water, please!” he whined.

“Well, fine! But only because it’s your day off!” Louis yelled back.

“Yes!” Niall screamed as he tore off his shirt, threw it in Liam’s face, and belly flopped into a foot of water.

The rest of them neatly took off their clothes and placed them in their bags, but as soon as they joined Niall in the water all bets were off. Legs were pulled underwater, faces were splashed, tummies were tickled, water was spit into open mouths. Any stranger seeing this all take place would never have guessed that they were all adults, and that nothing sexual was happening. After half an hour of tireless play, Niall started yelling “Food! Food? Food?!?!”

“Yes, yes, Niall. Food’s in the cooler,” Louis said.

No one has since seen Niall run faster.

The other three also got out of the water, not wanting their friend to eat alone. And maybe their stomachs were making strange sounds, too.

“Come on, Lou! Only turkey sandwiches and carrot sticks for us to eat?” Niall moaned.

“It’s all I could drum up! I don’t see you lot bringing any food!” Louis shouted back.

“You didn’t tell us where we were going!” Liam yelled.

“I really hate carrots,” offered Harry.

“You bastards can’t blame me for you not being born with telepathic powers!” Louis screamed.

“What are you even on about!” Niall yelled back.

“I…telepathic would mean you could read my mind and know…what we were going to do NOW YOU’VE GONE AND MADE ME EXPLAIN MY OWN JOKE HAVE YOU QUITE FINISHED?”       

And then they were all laughing.

Louis’s sandwiches weren’t really that bad, and it turned out he had also packed a flask of his parents’ favorite whiskey (which he himself refrained from drinking so he could drive home safely) so all was forgiven. Before long, everyone wanted to return to the water, and even Liam was coaxed back in as Louis screamed at him, “You’re not gonna get a cramp! That’s an old wives’ tale, you little shit!”

**

Liam and Niall left to find a bathroom when Harry refused to let them pee in the water “We have to swim there, you sick fucks!” which left Louis and Harry sitting on their towels alone.

“So is it anything like Florida?” Louis asked.

“You know, for being a thousand miles away and about 10 degrees more north, it’s not too horrid,” Harry responded, plastering a smile all over Louis’s face.

“Michigan’s not all that bad. Like, I complain about it a lot, but there are some nice things. Everyone I know in my neighborhood is the nicest and they bake a lot? During the winter if you are, like, sick during a snowstorm they’ll basically clear your driveway without even asking. And some of them have a really cute accent. And, I mean by April you’ll fucking hate snow, but in December or whatever it really is, like, magical and beautiful and whatever else poetry tells you it is. Nothing beats a white Christmas,” explained Louis.

“I’m really looking forward to a white Christmas, especially with my mom. I haven’t celebrated with her since my parents split,”

“She didn’t get you every other holiday or whatever?” Louis asked, reclining on his towel.

“My mom’s Christian and my dad’s Jewish so he always wanted to raise me in his faith. I attended a lot of Passovers and Chanukahs. I had my bar mitzvah and the whole nine yards. I just stopped believing in any religious part of it when I was like, 9,”

“So you learned Hebrew and all that jazz and you didn’t even believe in it?”

“Yep! So much fun!”

“Man, living with your dad must have been hell,”

“Not really, honestly! Why do you think I chose to live with him in the first place? He was a really cool dad when I was little. Really involved, knew a lot of jokes, could make good food. When I had to choose between staying in Florida with my dad or moving to Michigan with my mom, I made the choice most kids would make. I was only 10! Just recently my dad’s become more and more mean, rude, and close-minded. Hates everything gay, liberal, and foreign…all that jazz,”

“But now you’re here with us, Hare-Bear, and that’s all that matters,” Louis said.

Harry sat a few feet away, hunched over a hole in the sand that he had been digging and then refilling off and on again since Louis had wanted to get out of the water. Louis was the person he knew the least about in his new friend group (or maybe it was Zayn, who knew?) but Harry almost felt like Louis was always trying his hardest to make Braxton feel like home for him.

“Hey, Lou?” he asked.

“Yeah, babe,” Louis responded, not bothering to move from his position stomach-down on the towel.

“Was today for Niall? Or was it for me?”

“It was for all of us, love. For our collective friendship and what-not,”

“Thanks for the feel-good answer. Now give me the real one,”

Louis sighed and turned onto his back. He leaned onto his elbow and pushed back his hair.

“Ok, here’s the thing. You’re young. Like, you’ve only just turned 18 this year and you had to move away from everything you’ve known and one of your parents has basically all but disowned you and, like, you’re so cute and just on the edge of adulthood and I started to feel protective over you, okay?”

“Okay,”

“Like, Liam’s fine. He’s really strong and he has the best relationship ever with our parents. He can make friends anywhere he goes, and he _does_. He’s the only little brother I have and, like, he doesn’t need me, but you do,”

“Okay,”

“And Niall…everyone loves Niall. Everyone looks out for Niall. Liam would knock out anyone who tried to hurt Niall, he’s nearly told me as much. And Niall’s, like, cute and little but he’s really carefree, yet he knows what he wants to do. He has direction in life and he takes it, but if something messes up he’s gonna stay calm and work through it,”

“Okay,” Harry repeated, moving to lie down next to Louis. Louis followed him down and the two were lying so close together that their hair was touching.

“What I’m basically trying to say is that, like, I noticed this week that you were starting to look down. I don’t know why you looked so sad, but I figured a little reminder of home couldn’t hurt. Oh, and I brought you this,”

Louis rolled over to the cooler and dug out an orange he had been hiding under a pile of ice.

“Thanks, but I’m more of a banana man,” Harry said, laughing.

“Well then,” Louis started as he grabbed the orange back and threw it off into the distance, “go live with some monkeys or some shit,”

“And Lou,” Harry asked.

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t need to remind me of home. This is home now,”

And although Louis made a gagging sound, Harry knew he was smiling a bit too.

“Hey, whatever happened to Liam and Niall?” Harry asked.

**

Liam and Niall finally returned from the bathroom as the sun started to get further down in the sky.

“Did you losers fall in or something?” Louis yelled.

“We found a dog on the way back!” Liam happily said.

“Of-fucking-course you did,”

**

It got dark as the four of them started to drive home. The day’s activities had tired them all out, save one. Louis filled the silence with some stories he had, magically, not told the rest of them yet, but he got fed up with being the only active one and proposed a game.

“Never Have I Ever?” Liam asked skeptically.

“Do we have to?” Niall whined.

“Yes, now shut up. I’ll go first,” Louis said as he held up one hand.

“Now, driving with one hand surely can’t be safe,” Harry cautioned.

“It’s not one hand if you count both of my knees, okay? Anyways, never have I ever…been stood up,”

Liam reluctantly lowered a finger.

“Never have I ever gotten a speeding ticket, asshole,” Liam replied.

“Fuck you,” Louis shot back as he lowered a finger.

Niall countered with a “Never have I ever…given head,”

“Yes! Now someone’s getting down to the dirty shit!” Louis said. All 3 of them lowered a finger.

“You’re missing out, man,” Liam said.

“Eh, I have a lot of time left in my life for that,”

“Okay, Harry, what naughty things have you managed to not get yourself into?” Louis asked.

“Oh, uh. Let’s see…I didn’t go to prom?” Harry offered.

“That is literally the lamest thing you could’ve said,”

“I’ve done a lot, Jesus Christ!” Harry yelled back.

“Okay, fine. Never have I ever kissed a boy,”

“Fuck you,” Harry said as Louis and Liam turned around in their seats to see him lower his finger, nearly missing Niall lowering his.

“What the hell, Niall?” Louis yelled.

“Wait, seriously?” Liam asked.

Harry just eyed Niall suspiciously.

“What can I say? Everyone loves Niall,” Niall said.

“You know, friends don’t count,” Harry said with a harsher tone than he had intended.

“I know they don’t. You guys don’t know what I was like back in Boston, geez!”

They dropped it after that, and Liam went on to mention something about skinny dipping. And as Harry lowered his finger he looked over to Niall, who mouthed to him “Not you,”

**

 “We’re almost home, loves, but I don’t think this night should end,” Louis said from the front seat.

“What now?” Liam exasperatedly asked.

“It’s nothing major. I just wanted to know if the boys wanted to come over for a little sleepover. A quaint affair, just us. No parties, but I won’t promise no alcohol!”

“That sounds really nice, actually. I’ve never seen your house,” Niall said.

“It’s final, then! You’ll be coming over with us! Zayn will be happy to know,” Louis said.

“Wait, Zayn’s gonna be there?” Harry asked, “Have you been planning this for a while?”

“Yeah,”

“You were so sure we would say yes?”

“When have you not?”

**

“So this is where you two wreck your havoc, eh?” Niall asked as the car pulled up into the Payne family driveway.

“Kinda,” Liam explained, “This is just our garage. The house is on the other side of the yard,”

Liam led the boys up the stairs on the side of the garage and into the den on the second floor.

“Woah! This is pretty sweet!” Niall said looking at the room around him. It was really nothing special. There was one room with an old sectional in front of an old TV, surrounded by seemingly hundreds of movies and games.

“Zayn’s on his way,” Louis said as he dropped his stuff in corner by a recliner, “I’m going by the kitchen to grab some drinks. Anyone need anything?”

“A toilet,” Niall moaned as he started to do a jig.

“I could use a go at that, too,” Harry added.

“I need to pick up some clothes from our room,” Liam said.

“Fine!” Louis yelled out, “Everyone can come with me! But hush up because mom and dad are in bed and I don’t want any of the brats bothering us,”

The four of them trudged through the yard and ended up in the main house. Liam quietly snuck upstairs to the bedroom he shared with Louis, while Niall wasn’t far behind, looking for a bathroom. As Harry waited downstairs for his turn in the bathroom, he noticed a baseball mitt in the corner, surrounded by Barbie dolls, with a big fancy signature that looked a lot like Niall’s.

“Louis, what the hell’s this?” Harry asked, picking it up.

“Fuck!” Louis whisper-yelled as he grabbed the mitt out of Harry’s hand and stuck it back down on the table where it came from, “If Daisy saw someone had touched her mitt without her permission she’d probably cry,”

“Daisy? Your sister? This is her mitt?”

“What, do you think it’s _mine_? Do you think I’m the one putting Niall’s glove on display with eight Barbies holding an eternal vigil over it? I’m a bit quirky at times, mate, but I’m not insane,”

“Why the hell does she have it then?”

“Daisy loves Niall. Like _loves_. She’s only eight but she’s already planning their marriage, has been ever since she went to a kids’ night a month ago and ran the bases. Niall was out running with them and he signed this mitt and then called her cute. She’s been lost to Niall ever since,”

“That might be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,”

“Why do you think I’m trying to make sure my sisters don’t wake up? I don’t actually think they’re annoying brats, I just don’t want Daisy to make a scene and scare Niall off. I’d like for my friend to want to return to my home,”

“My lips are sealed,” Harry said as Niall and Liam returned downstairs, Liam holding a guitar.

“What’s that for?” Louis asked, grabbing bottles of alcohol from a locked cabinet and shoving them into a drawstring bag.

“Niall saw it in our room and wanted to play it in the den,” Liam explained.

“As long as he won’t wake anyone up,”

“I’m not even that loud,” Niall said, grabbing the guitar out of Liam’s hands and accidentally knocking a mug off the counter – shattering it.

**

Zayn eventually found his way to the house and the five of them were sitting in the den doing what they did best. Louis and Liam were playing some MLB game (Tigers vs. Twins), Zayn had fallen asleep about five minutes after he had arrived, Niall was strumming about on his guitar, and Harry was staring off into space.

As Louis’s team hit their third homerun, moving their lead from 4 points to 6, Niall changed the song from the boyband one he had been playing off-and-on for the past hour.

“Hey that’s a new one,” Harry mused. The den didn’t have AC so he had been in his boxers for half an hour. Niall was slowly following suit, already having taken off his shirt.

“ _Strangers in the Night_ , Sinatra. My uncle actually helped me learn this one. Ol’ Blue Eyes has been a family favorite since forever,” Niall explained.

“You play it really well, like differently from the other poppy songs. Like more meaningful,”

“I can teach you how to play it, if you’d like,”

So Harry scooted over to sit next to Niall on the floor. Although Niall was left-handed, he was playing a right-handed guitar, “Don’t ask,” and Harry positioned himself like Carl had taught him.

“Okay, well I see I don’t have to teach you _everything_ ,”

As Louis’s team got Liam’s out after only three at-bats, causing Liam to growl in anger, Niall helped Harry with the chords. Niall pointed out where Harry should place his fingers for each one and they went over the song a few times this way. After a little while of learning Harry was able to remember some parts on his own. Niall laid back and started to sing as he kept an eye on Harry’s progress.

“Dun dun dun dun dun, exchanging glances. Wond’ring in the night, what were the chances…” Niall crooned.

“Hey, you’re actually pretty good at singing,” Louis pointed out, not diverting his eyes from the screen. Harry started to mess up a bit.

“I just aspire to kick your asses at all things in life, you know,”

“Fuck!” Liam yelled as Louis’s team built up to a 9-2 lead. Even with the outburst Zayn didn’t move. Louis was hyper-focused on the screen, but he started to blink more as a lack of sleep caught up to him.

“Lou, how do you feel about going to bed?” Harry asked as Niall stifled a yawn.

“It’s only…two in the morning!” Louis whisper-yelled out. Niall’s head dipped a bit.

“I’m pretty sure Niall’s literally going to pass out,” Liam noticed.

“Fine, fun-ruiners, but consider yourself beaten, Liam,”

Liam and Louis stretched out on the sectional “Our house, our sectional, our bed!” so Niall and Harry were left to share the floor. Louis threw a blanket at them from behind his head.

“Uh, minor annoyance really, but I usually sleep in the nude?” Harry said.

“Are you kidding?” Louis asked, eyes wide.

“Not even. I can’t remember the last time I slept with anything on, really,”

“Hallelujah!” Niall yelled as he ripped off his shorts and boxers, hiding himself under the blanket.

“Well, if we’re all going to do it…” Liam said, taking his clothes off.

“Fuck it!” Louis screamed, Zayn still not stirring, taking off his shorts.

“But I don’t have a blanket!” Harry yelled out.

“Yeh can share this one with me. It’s big,” Niall said, throwing the other end towards Harry.

Harry scurried under the blanket and took off his pants, but got uncomfortable as the blanket was not as big as Niall made it out to be. As he started to strip in the open air the lights suddenly went out.

“No one wants to see that, Sunshine!” Louis yelled, tossing him a pillow that hit Harry squarely in the crotch.

Harry laid down spread eagle on the floor, drifting off to sleep with the sounds of his four best friends’ heavy breathing surrounding him like the blanket he kicked off.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets a visit from an old friend and relies on Zayn to be his rock.

Harry woke up to someone tickling his chin. He groggily got out a “good morning”, shook his head on his pillow a few times, and went to grab for the person lying next to him, only to realize no one was there. He peaked his eyes open and Zayn was hunched above him, looking at him quizzically.

“Are you already up?” Harry asked.

“Considering I went to bed at like midnight, yeah,” Zayn answered.

“What time is it?”

“Eight,”

“Eight? In the morning!”

“Get over it and please explains yourselves to me,”

“What the hell are you talking about, man?”

“Why is everyone naked?”

Harry sat up, rubbed his eyes, and then remembered that, yes, they were all naked. Niall was laying on top of his blanket as opposed to underneath it, the sweatshirt that Liam had been using for a bit of privacy was on the floor, and it looked like Louis had never cared about anything hanging out. It all did look a bit odd.

“Did I miss an orgy? Do I sleep that deeply?”

“Do you not sleep in the nude?” Harry asked.

“Not with this many people around, no,”

“You’re not truly friends with someone until you sleep naked two feet away from them,”

“Get dressed. We’re going to McDonald’s,” Zayn said, throwing Harry’s underwear at him.

“It’s not gross if you turn them inside-out,”

**

“Are you sure Louis would be okay with this?” Harry asked as he gingerly turned on the Camry.

“I’m fucking positive. Now drive. I want a McMuffin and I really need to piss. I didn’t want to just walk into their home,”

Harry drove Zayn the few miles to the fast food joint, and it was already bustling with people.

“How do people continually get up this early?” Harry asked, yawning.

“Try getting a real job,”

Zayn ran inside and quickly went back towards the restrooms. Harry held their place in line as he considered which food to bring back for each of the boys. Niall would eat anything, but he’d want a lot, Liam was always looking for some kind of eggs in the morning, and Louis would appreciate one of those healthy fruit and yogurt things. Zayn returned looking a lot less stressed than before, and as they got to the front he refused to let Harry pay.

“Zayn, I’m just like you. Broke college student. There’s no reason we can’t at least split it,” Harry said.

“Just take my card, please,” Zayn said to the woman at the register, “Harry you have no idea,”

As they waited around for their food Zayn explained to Harry that he was really quite well off. He didn’t have an awesome, huge apartment to himself for nothing.

“The only reason I could even afford this internship is because my parents could get me good housing,”

“Woah, we’re learning new things every day, aren’t we?” Harry said.

“Yeah, like how you and Niall and have something going on,” Zayn said bluntly. Harry nearly spit out the smoothie he had been sipping.

“What…excuse me?”

“Please, I notice the way you look at him. And whenever we hang out, just Niall and I, he always talks about things with you. Like, he’ll repeat some stupid joke you’ve made for the millionth time and he’ll comment on your haircut out of the blue,”

“I literally have no clue what you’re talking about,”

“Do you realize how close together you were sleeping! Nude!” Zayn said, looking like he couldn’t believe that Niall and Harry couldn’t be together.

“Louis and Liam took the couch! There wasn’t anywhere left but the floor! I can’t control how much closer we get in sleep, I’m not fully conscious!” Harry blurted out rapidly. Finally their food was there and he was able to grab it and leave the store. Zayn closely followed him out.

“Listen, I’m not trying to be rude-”

“Is it just because I’m gay? That I have to love every boy around me?”

“Hey, fucking low blow! I call shit like I see it!”

Harry and Zayn got into the car and Harry started to drive away, his left leg vaguely shaking.

“Doesn’t everyone just want to cuddle Niall on a regular basis?” he asked.

Zayn smiled and shook his head. “You can talk about you all you want, but you stare at Niall differently than you do at everything else in the world. Something in the eyes,”

“Okay, yeah. I’m sure that’s really a thing,”

Harry drove on a little further, remembering where to turn at each street. It seemed like he was getting much better at navigation Braxton.

“Oh, by the way, when you were lying there this morning…” Zayn started to say

“Oh for Christ’s sake it’s very normal! You’d be a fucking liar if you said you never had morning wood before!” Harry yelled back.

“Simmer down, Harry! I was only trying to point out your nice collection of tattoos,”

“Oh, sorry. Thanks. Have you not noticed them before?”

“Well, the ones that aren’t normally covered up by your shirt, yeah. I just never noticed how many is all,”

“You’ve got a good collection yourself, you know,”

“Yeah, I was just wondering because I saw this parlor downtown and I wanted to know if you’ve ever been there?”

“Nah, I haven’t been to one since Florida. Got the star colored in on my left arm. I’ve actually been itching to get one…”

“How about next Tuesday?” Zayn interrupted.

“Wha? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ve already got an idea. I sure as hell got one for myself and I don’t feel like going by myself. That’s boring,”

“You know what, yeah! I’ll do it!”

“Cool,”

Back at the Payne house the rest of the boys were still asleep, so Zayn and Harry took it upon themselves to wake them up by pouring water on them from the bottles still left in the cooler.

“What the fuck, it’s nine!” Niall yelled out, shaking the water out of his hair.

“I’m naked, wet, sweaty, and surrounded by four guys, two hours before I even wanted to be up. What a perfect way to start a Wednesday,” said Louis.

They all got changed into the clothes they had worn the night before and sat around eating their food. It was lukewarm and greasy, just the way McDonalds should be eaten. Then Niall brought up his bladder again.

“Everyone’s awake, we can go back to the house and use the bathroom there,” Liam said, pulling himself up and dusting himself clear of any crumbs he could have missed.

As the five of them left to walk through the yard, Louis suddenly grabbed Harry’s arm. Harry looked over at him and saw that Louis had gone wide-eyed.

“Everyone’s awake,” he growled out.

“What?”

“Everyone’s awake! Daisy’s awake!” Louis forcefully whispered.

And just as Harry caught on, Niall walked through the sliding door with Liam by his side, and a piercing scream came from within. Louis and Harry ran in and found a speechless Daisy standing slack-jawed, bagel still in hand.

“Oh dear lord!” exclaimed Louis’s mother, watching her daughter fall to pieces.

Daisy started to turn pink and she grew bashful, so Liam stepped up and introduced everyone.

“Family, these are our friends: Zayn, Niall, and Harry-”

Harry had met their mom, but never the rest of the family. He usually just stayed in the den.

“Guys, this is our dad, Geoff, our mom, Jo, and our sisters: Fizz, Lottie, Phoebe, and…Daisy,”

“Niall, do you remember me?” Daisy asked, her eyes growing wide, just as Louis’s had before. 

Louis waited, holding onto Harry without breathing. Waiting for Niall to freak out at the thought of his best friend’s little sister being completely obsessed with him. But Niall was always full of surprises.

“Of course!” he yelled out with a big grin on his face, “You were at kid’s night! I was chewin’ gum and I blew a bubble and you popped it. And you brought a glove and I signed it,”

Daisy glanced over to the ‘eternal vigil’ going on over by the Barbies.

“Can I show you something?” she asked excitedly.

“Of course! Just let me use the bathroom first, and I’ll be straight back down,”

So Niall ran upstairs to pee and Louis let out a sigh of relief that his friendship with Niall was not, in fact, ruined by his crazy little sister. Geoff left to go to work, leaving everyone else sitting around the table finishing their breakfast. When Niall returned he sat down on the floor with Daisy and looked at the pictures she had collected of him in a scrapbook, Phoebe joining her. Louis helped his mom with the dishes, and Liam, Harry, and Zayn had nothing else to do but sit with Lottie and Fizz.

They were nice enough girls but Liam seemed to have a lot of catching up to do with his sisters (and Lottie was totally into Zayn) so Harry spent most of the time watching Niall look cute and interact with small children. He was listening intently to their rambling stories and genuinely interested in the collages Daisy had made. Harry was pretty sure that at one point Niall even promised to teach Daisy how to “play ball like the pros”. He just sat in his chair at the table and giggled.

“Come on, boys, let’s return to the den. I have a score to settle with Liam. I’m not letting you pass with just a forfeit, young man! You’re getting a full-fledged beating!” Lou yelled out.

“Boobear, please hush,” his mom said with a smirk.

Niall started to crack up at the nickname as Daisy wrapped herself around his right leg. Harry finally understood where Louis got his craziness from.

**

It was pushing six at night and Harry was lounging on the recliner in the den looking on at the chaos unfolding before his eyes. Louis had managed to sneak some beers and the remains of a bottle of vodka into the den, so he, Niall, and Zayn were all smashed out of their minds. While entertaining, this also made Louis worse at videogames, and Liam and he were tied in the ninth inning of the second game they had played that day.

Niall was shirtless – again – and had found some sharpies somewhere in the room that he had then used to draw on himself. It was supposed to be in support of Louis’s team, but it really just looked like random scribbles considering the mixture of his sub-par drawing skills and his BAC. Zayn and Niall had both teamed up in support of Louis, so even though Harry didn’t really give a shit about videogames, he took it upon himself to cheer on Liam.

“Swing that ball, or something!” he yelled out.

“Curly, why are you so fucking helpless at sports!” Niall yelled back. Harry just cracked a smile and shrugged back.

With Liam’s last at-bat before the end of the game, Zayn and Niall were screaming wildly trying to distract him. Before Harry could do anything in support the phone in his pocket buzzed and he looked down at the screen to see that it was from Carl.

“Flack: I have a surprise for you”

“What?”

Liam got a strike and the ‘opposite team’ erupted into laughter.

“Flack: Guess.”

“Come on, tell meeeeee,”

Another strike and Niall was literally rolling on the ground.

“Flack: coming to see you,”

“…what?”

And finally, with the last pitch, Liam hit the ball straight and out of the park faster than Louis could yell “Fuck!”

Harry ran out of the recliner and into Liam’s lap so he could give him celebratory kisses on the nose, purposefully stepping on Niall on the way over.

“Fucking…..rigged,” Zayn was able to slur out.

“Oh, hush,” Liam said. Harry could hear his phone buzz from the seat, but before he could return to it, Jo came into the room.

“It’s nice to hear that you guys are having fun, but can you please keep it down?” she asked.

“Willlllll do,” Louis responded, saluting her.

“And are you boys staying for dinner? I’m making pot roast!”

“As much as I would love a home-cooked meal from a mommy right now, Mrs. Payne, I need to get back home!” Niall yelled out, not recognizing how loud his voice was.

“You better not be driving, young man,” she said, glaring at Louis. His hands flew up in the air in defense.

“Of course not! I’m driving them home,” Liam said, “Not a drop of alcohol in me,”

“There shouldn’t be, considering you’re not even 21 yet,” she responded, “Just be back in time for dinner in half an hour, okay?”

She left and Zayn, Harry, and Niall gathered their belongings. Louis kissed them all goodbye saying that the past three days were the most fun ever, before collapsing onto the couch and taking another swig of his beer.

Zayn and Niall thankfully piled into the backseat, practically falling over each other, so Harry was able to enjoy the legroom of shotgun.

“Zayn first, then you Harry, then you Niall,” Liam said, buckling up and carefully pulling out of the drive.

“Nah, just drop me off with Blondie,” Harry responded.

“Taaaaanks, bud,” Niall replied.

The two in the backseat babbled on about something on the way to Zayn’s place, but Harry ignored them and was keyed into his own conversation with Carl.

“Flack: Drivin up after work tom. Surprise?”

“Have you been planning this?”

“Flack: Just for the past hour or so,”

“Can you miss work?”

“Flack: Trust me, I’ve got it all covered,”

“I’m just surprised,”

“Flack: Twas the intention. You at least happy?”

“Yeah. Honestly!”

“Flack: You better be little boy because I haven’t seen you in a month,”

Harry thought back, and it had been a month since he had left Jacksonville. He hadn’t seen Carl since his graduation party, the night of his actual graduation. It was the only time Carl had met any of his family, and none of them even knew about his relationship.

“Didn’t realize. Can’t wait. :)”

Zayn got dropped off and Niall was left ranting to himself about how the “Oreos cereal put in the stupid fucking marshmallows and ruined it all to hell” as Liam pulled into the complex.

“Are you sure you can handle him on your own?” Liam asked.

“He may be the big man on the field, but right now he has the tenacity of a kitten. I’ll be alright,” Harry replied.

Harry helped Niall out of the back, threw an arm around his waist, and grabbed Niall’s and his totes from the trunk with the other. They slowly made their way up the steps, Niall grumbling about the hot weather, and when they got to the door Niall was unable to produce his key so Harry was forced to knock.

One of his teammates answered the door (he was muscly so Harry just assumed Jon) and just laughed as he stepped to the side to let them through.

“So there’s Horan!” he barked out.

The other two boys, Sandy and Dan, ran out of their rooms to see Niall come into the apartment.

“There ya are!” Niall yelled out.

“There we are? You’re the one who didn’t come home last night and didn’t tell anyone!” Dan yelled out.

“Ni, you didn’t call?”

“Eh” Niall said with a flick of his wrist.

“We thought he was out with a chick, honestly…” Jon started.

“Obviously not,” said Sandy.

“Shhhhh” Niall replied, pulling a finger to his lips and crinkling his eyes in laughter.

Harry helped Niall back to his room, just kinda throwing him on his bed. He was unpacking Niall’s bag, so Harry didn’t notice when Niall stripped himself completely naked. Harry rushed to slam the door and whisper-yelled “What are you doing?!?!” at him.

“Sleep, Curly. Sleep,”

“Jesus, now they’re gonna think we’re fucking in here,” Harry said.

“Let them think,”

Niall was true to his word and fell asleep immediately. Harry unpacked what he could of Niall’s bag and quickly left the room.

“Whatchu doing in there?” Jon asked as he saw Harry leave.

“He’s a bit pissed so I put him to bed,”

“Was he out with a chick last night, though?” Dan asked.

“No, why?”

“We’ve just never seen him with a lady. We’ve been wondering, you know, as any person would…” Sandy started.

“No, I wouldn’t know. Now I have to leave before my mom grounds me. ‘Night,”

A few hours later Harry returned from his shower to find that someone had texted him.

“Blondie: The boys said my bf was hot hahhahaha”

**

Two nights later Harry was standing on the porch outside of his front door, waiting for Carl’s signature white Hyundai to roll up. He had butterflies in his stomach and wasn’t sure if he was ready to see Carl again. Niall was still at the forefront of all his thoughts, and he wasn’t sure how he could handle having his old boyfriend back. The one who he never really wanted to break up with in the first place.

He bit at his nails, a habit he thought he was picking up from Niall, until he saw the headlights come through the dark. It was nearing 8 and the sun was setting, but he was sure it was Carl’s car. The car parked and, sure enough, Carl got out of the car and waved at Harry. A smile broke out across his face as he waited for Carl to get his luggage out of his car and join him. Carl nearly ran up the steps with his knapsack on his back and ran into Harry for a giant hug. They stayed together for a few moments before they heard someone clear her throat behind them.

Harry looked up and Gemma was standing in the door, hands on hip.

“Is this Carl?” Gemma asked.

“Yeah, uh, this is him,”

Carl extended his hand to Gemma with a greeting. Gemma shook it firmly, stepping back into the apartment so that Carl could pass through. As Harry tried to follow Gemma put her arm out and stopped him, saying “Dad’s not here so I thought I’d fill the fatherly role and check this young man out,” Harry went to swat her arm away, but just ended up awkwardly hitting her boob. She doubled over laughing as Harry blushed and went into the kitchen.

Carl talked with Harry and his family for a while before he yawned and said that he’d be happy to get to sleep. He hadn’t slept much considering he had to drive 15 hours to get there. Harry kissed his mom good night and took Carl back to his room. He changed as Carl brushed his teeth. Harry wasn’t tired at all, but he promised to just pop in a movie that they could watch together as Carl fell asleep. Harry had an impressive collection of romcoms, but he chose his favorite: _Love, Actually_.

“Again?” Carl moaned.

“Ah, shut up. You’ll be asleep soon, anyways,”

As the first scene got underway, Harry started to hum the score as if he had seen the movie hundreds of times (he had) and he fell back onto his bed with Carl’s arm underneath his head. They had laid exactly like this, watching this exact movie, many times back in Florida. The only thing missing was the miserable humidity and the excitement from knowing that what they were doing was forbidden. Soon Carl stopped moving and Harry was sure he had fallen asleep, but just as Hugh Laurie started to do his little dance Harry felt lips nuzzle against his ear. “I’ve really…really missed you,” they whispered.

“Yeah,” was all Harry could muster back.

Harry could feel Carl’s right hand working its way through his hair. His scalp was buzzing with the memories that were held inside those fingertips. No one had massaged his scalp like this in so long; he loved his hair a lot and not just anyone was allowed to touch it. It was reserved for the special people in his life. And then Carl’s left hand was on Harry’s hip, tracing one of his tattoos with its thumb. Carl had been there when he got it four months ago. Midnight in a tattoo parlor near the bakery he worked at, a week after his eighteenth birthday. An act of rebellion egged on by a few shots of vodka and sexy older men whispering in his ear. _Might as well…_

Carl pushed himself on top and his long hair fell into Harry’s face. The kisses were rushed and sloppy, reminiscent of their first dates when the mutual infatuation was so fresh that its excitement overwhelmed them. A brand new excitement had taken hold of them. Harry had forgotten how much he had missed that. Just, everything about that. Carl’s hand was firmly gripped on the back of Harry’s neck, nails haphazardly digging in. There was a vague twinge of pain that he was ignoring. He moved to bury his face in Carl’s neck, giving Carl room to nibble on his ear, his breath hot on Harry’s neck. Harry hugged Carl tighter, shifting their bodies closer. He felt himself growing hard in his jeans, and he was so fucking happy because for the first time in what seemed like ages he would have a different outlet than a random tissue.

Carl grabbed a fist full of Harry’s shirt, pulling him up so that Carl was now sitting on his lap. He pulled apart from Harry for just enough time as to rip his shirt off, throwing it somewhere into the room. Harry returned the favor. The pants were a stickier situation as Harry’s were notoriously tight. “Shit, Styles, do you paint these on?” Harry just giggled and helped to pull them off.

**

Carl was there for the next two days, and Harry could not believe how quickly they flew by. Niall was long gone playing some team in another state, but Louis, Liam, and Zayn all met him. Harry took him to all his favorite spots: Don Juan, the stadium, the park a mile from his house. Although Carl maybe didn’t enjoy the tacos as much as Harry had hoped, he had been enjoying spending time with his best friend. So on the early Monday morning as Carl packed the few bags he had brought, Harry felt knots in his stomach again.

Gemma and his mom were already gone, left for work an hour before. He couldn’t be happier that less people would be there to see him cry. Carl walked back to Harry’s front door after getting everything into his Hyundai, holding something that Harry could barely make out.

“Here,” Carl said, holding out a package for him, “I need you to take this,”

Harry grabbed it and opened it up. Inside was one of Carl’s sweaters – an oversized orange one.

“I just brought it because I certainly don’t need it in Florida, and winter probably gets here around August or something so you’ll need it pretty soon. And, it uh, it should remind you of me or something,” Carl explained, hand scratching his head, fidgeting with the awkwardness of this uncharacteristically cute gesture.

Harry brought it to his nose. It smelled like a mixture of cranberry incense and Bleu de Chanel and Carl’s apartment. It was all of Carl wrapped up into one pullover.

“I’ll wear it every day,” Harry replied, putting on a weak smile.

“Cheer up, bud. It’s not like we haven’t said goodbye before,” Carl said, pulling him into a hug.

And the hug lingered for a while.

Carl was finally able to pull himself away, getting into his car and waving to Harry as he sped off towards the interstate. Harry stood in front of his open door for a few more moments, watching as the car left his sight. He was hugging the sweater to his chest, feeling his stomach grumble with a mixture of hunger and misery. He didn’t know what to do so he just stood there, waiting for his brain to click and tell him how to handle his emotions. It didn’t usually take this long.

He finally gathered his thoughts and headed indoors, locking the door behind him. Instead of making himself breakfast, or even just grabbing a banana, Harry went over to the thermostat and turned the temperature down as low as it would allow. The A.C. roared to life, filling the apartment with the dreadfully cold temperature. He threw on the sweater and dove into his bed. It was a warm day and the A.C. hadn’t completely cooled the apartment down so he was sweating, but he chose to ignore it. He needed sleep and he needed someone beside him and he needed Carl, but a nap in Carl’s sweater was the best he could do at the time.

He drifted in and out of sleep for hours, but only officially woke up around 4:30 when his mom finally got home. The door slamming shut was what officially woke him up, so he heard her yell out his name, asking why the apartment was so cold. She knocked on his door, but entered without him inviting her in anyways.

“Hazza, are you feeling ill?” she asked, lying down next to him on his bed and feeling his forehead.

She stopped when she noticed his puffy eyes and red nose.

“Baby…” she whispered.

“Why does everyone have to leave?” he was able to get out.

“They don’t. I promise you, they don’t,”

“Everything with relationships is stupid why do we bother why do I bother I hate it,”

And his mom laid there with him and listened to his ramblings. His hurt, sad, angry, destitute ramblings. But she was of no use and Harry knew she wouldn’t be. He had never really told her about Carl, about their relationship, about anything. He had only ever said that Carl was a friend and although she may have pieced some things together (it wasn’t very hard) she also had little to go in way of advice. So she just lay in bed with him and rubbed his back and kissed him on the cheek like she used to do when he was a crying child with parents going through a divorce.

She eventually left to go start dinner, leaving Harry to lie in a bed made of memories and depression, smelling of Carl’s laundry detergent. He picked up his phone and ignored the few texts that Carl had sent him since leaving – he’d look at those when he felt less like shit. He needed to call someone. Niall was prepping for a game, and anyways Harry didn’t think he’d really enjoy talking through his relationship’s complexities with his crush. And Liam would try very hard to be comforting but would ultimately fail when he had no real advice to give. And Louis would try too hard to heal the sadness with laughs when that was the complete last thing he wanted to do. So Harry found himself dialing Zayn’s number.

It took a couple of rings but the voice on the other end finally came through saying “You alright?” It was just Zayn’s usual phone greeting, but Harry burst out into tears and Zayn just murmured “Shit,”

“Am I a horrible human being?” Harry was finally able to muster up.

“I don’t think so. No,”

“I just…do I just like Niall because I miss Carl?”

And that was it, that was Harry’s first outward expression of his crush on Niall. But Zayn didn’t dwell on it, he wasn’t one to gloat in being right anyways.

“I don’t know, I can’t tell you. You have to tell me,”

“Niall’s everything Carl’s not. _Everything_. Carl wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere near a bat or in athletic wear. Sometimes he forgets to eat for days at a time. He’d rather read Dante’s _Inferno_ than watch _The Godfather_. He’d rather spend the night sober than reduce himself to cheap beer. Carl’s insufferable with his little quirks sometimes but god damn I love each and everyone one of them so much because together they make Carl. They make the Carl who cries watching elderly couples in love and who learns French for the fun of it but never wants to actually go to France and who drives fifteen fucking hours to see his teenaged ex-boyfriend for two days,”

“He sounds great,”

“But he’s _not_ because he’s mean and moody and he blames the world for his problems and he’s an insufferable know-it-all who doesn’t really know all that much. And I shouldn’t love him as much as I do-,”

“But you do,”

 “-Niall’s easy. Niall’s carefree and he’s happy and when he laughs my entire field of vision brightens. But I spent six months with Carl and he wasn’t easy but I enjoyed every moment of it and I want it back. I want him back. I want Florida and hazy nights with my dad out drinking and Carl spending the night because it wasn’t dangerous anymore. And I miss when everything wasn’t blurred under the ray of human sunshine Niall-fucking-Horan,”

“Have you ever told him any of this? Do you think he knows?”

“God dammit if I know. I mean, I haven’t said…anything. But Niall’s not dumb and I’m not subtle but Niall’s not gay,”

“Do you need me to come over?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered back, his voice breaking.

“I’ll need to call a cab. I’ll be over soon,”

**

Zayn then became Harry’s rock. They spent most of their time together as Harry tried to get over Carl. He had already done it before, and it was at least a little bit easier with Zayn by his side. Dark, mysterious, goofy, kind Zayn. Zayn with the coiffed hair, who smelt like Gucci, and loved Pokémon. There were so many sides to Zayn that Harry had not thought of before, and every day with him was a new surprise.

That Tuesday, after Zayn was let out of work, Harry picked him up and they went to the tattoo parlor. “Shamrocky’s” it was called.

“I’m not ever getting away from Niall, am I?” Harry joked.

A few hours later they left with a few more pieces of art on their bodies. Harry had gone for a cursive G on his right shoulder and a cursive A on his left, for the two most important people in his life. Zayn had gotten a chest piece with a…flying pair of lips. Feathery wings and all.

“What?” was all Harry could ask.

“It has its own special meaning to me, okay?” Zayn explained as he produced a drawing of what he wanted out of his pocket. “I brought this with me all the way from NY. Had to get the lips right,”

Louis and Liam thought the tattoos were sick, and Louis was on board to get his own as soon as possible. Liam wasn’t as ready, but he was sure as hell on his way. Especially with Louis to bug him about it every night.

As the Wrenches returned to Braxton Harry returned to work and Niall came back into his life again. Niall’s smile was brighter, his cheeks were redder, his hair was blonder somehow. Harry enjoyed every single night when Niall would come up to the stand and grab his favorite snack. No one was quite sure how the kid wasn’t sick of his ‘Ni-Dog’ yet, but he came back night and night again for them.

The Horan family eventually dropped by. They were with Niall for a few days, both at home and away games. They were a long way from Boston but they didn’t seem to mind. Niall brought them back to the concession stand and introduced them all. Maura, the mom, was cute and small. She had a bright laugh that, although wasn’t as loud as Niall’s, was equally infectious. His dad, Bobby, gave Niall his crinkly eyes and always seemed to have something to say about how well Niall had done that night. If he got on the topic of his son’s achievements, you weren’t getting him off of it too quickly. It was even more adorable when you factored in Bobby’s accent. And then it was painfully obvious that Niall absolutely adored Greg, his brother. Niall laughed at all of his jokes, his arms were always around his shoulders. Although Niall had long since become the more successful sibling, Niall couldn’t help but to feel as though his older brother was greater. And it made Harry smile

**

The day before July 4th the Payne family held an Independence Day barbecue. The boys had work the next night so it was the only time one could be fit in. Harry was, of course, invited, along with Zayn and Niall. Niall couldn’t be there though, he was spending the day at an away game, and hopefully getting to spend a little time with his family before they went home. It felt wrong to throw a party without him, but Harry knew he’d get over it once he tried some of Jo’s famous ribs. He drove his mom and sister there, hoping that they’d get along with Liam and Louis’s family. He couldn’t imagine that not happening, but he still crossed his fingers.

He was worrying for nothing, though, because as soon as Harry’s family entered the door, Jo hugged them as if they were old friends. His mom was helping Jo with a botched potato salad job without even being asked. Gemma wandered into the yard and was able to find the cooler of alcohol with ease, and as Harry tried to join her Louis yanked him aside.

“Nah, man. My parents are usually, like, pretty chill about drinking and stuff, but not a family thing,”

But before Harry could apologize he felt a cold stream of water shoot his head. He spun around quickly just to be doused in the face again by a little girl holding a supersoaker. She giggled as Harry shook his hair like a dog, but then she was shot by someone standing behind him. He turned back to face Louis, who had a water gun of his own.

“No one ruins Curly’s hair!” he shouted as he started to chase Phoebe through the yard. At least Harry thought it was Phoebe. She and Daisy were near identical at all times.

He went and looked around in the yard in search of Liam and was confused when he couldn’t find him, but then he saw a guy tangled around a hot girl with lots of hair and _holy shit did Liam have a girlfriend?_

Sure enough Harry made eye contact and Liam broke out into a toothy grin, waving at him excitedly and inviting him over. The girl was introduced to him as “Danielle, dancer extraordinaire,” She gave off a little giggle at that and shook Harry’s hand, saying, “Just call me Dani, please,”

“Do you need a drink?” Liam asked her.

“A beer, if you have one,”

“Okay, right back!” Liam said, walking towards the cooler. Harry followed.

“Dude, who the fuck is she?” Harry whispered.

“My kinda girlfriend thing? I don’t know what to call her yet,”

“…why haven’t you told me about her?”

“I didn’t want Louis to know, honestly. I always get really nervous in relationships when he knows about them because I subconsciously try to be like him. But only Louis can pull off Louis. So I waited until things between me and her were solid, like an actual thing, and I decided to invite her over,”

“She’s hot, man,”

“Yeah, and an amazing dancer. She dances for the team at our school and holy shit. That’s it – holy shit,”

Liam spent the rest of the evening with his arms wrapped around Danielle. She seemed really nice and sociable but Harry guessed they weren’t going to see each other again until school started so they were also _really_ into each other. They disappeared for a half hour after dinner and Harry didn’t really wanna know where they went. Louis split his time between playing with his sisters and keeping Harry company, although sometimes Harry joined in the water fight. He even got a nice wolf-whistle from Lou as his white shirt soaked through and you could see his nipples.

“Are there more than two?” was all Lottie seemed to be able to ask.

Even Louis’s friend Stan, the one who threw the sick party a week and a half before, showed up. Although he might’ve been a little high, he wowed the party-goers with an interpretative dance. Zayn was the last to show up, an hour and a half late and still in his internship clothes, but he seemed a little off. He spent most of his time attached to his phone, doing something or another. Harry finally got the chance to ask him what he was doing as Jo brought out dessert.

“I’m just emailing a friend back,”

“Emailing? What is this – 1999?”

“Shut up. He’s busy and he can’t text at the moment, and I have a lot of shit to yell at him about. Anyways he’s in love but he refuses to tell the person. Sound familiar?” Zayn explained.

“Har har har. It can wait, come eat Jell-O with me,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback is appreciated! Seriously any. And if you have said something thank you!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And if you had told Harry those few months before that he would listen to this song not on a playlist made up of the most depressing songs imaginable (and fuck he had a lot to choose from) but rather driving to visit new friends in a new state with a new crush by his side, well he would have thought you were insane. But now Harry was laughing, and it didn't seem insane because Niall was next to him and Carl was a thousand miles away and nothing seemed more right.

Harry heard a knock on the front door as it neared noon on the Saturday after Independence Day. He woke up but his mother got to the door first so he didn’t bother to get out of bed. As he tried to settle back into his comforter his door opened and in popped Zayn.

“Zayn, what the fuck?” Harry said, his voice still raspy from sleep.

“Hey, bud. Just wanted to come in and see you,” Zayn replied, sitting down on the bed, looking incredibly suspicious.

“It’s…why?”

“Louis and Liam’s family is going away on vacation tomorrow, you know,”

“Yeah, good for them?”

“But Lou and Liam aren’t going so they’re gonna have a bonfire on Tuesday,”

“That sounds amazing, Zayn, but is your phone dead or something? Because why the hell could you not text me this?”

“Because Niall has a day off so he’s gonna be there and _you_ are going to take that chance to tell him how you feel,”

Harry sat there in silence.

“Why not, right?” Zayn tried to fill it with.

“Why not? Because it could ruin our friendship!” Harry was practically yelling, “It’s not even like a ‘gay’ thing, it’s a ‘your friend sees more in you than just friendship and that’s awkward’ thing,”

“Woah, no need to get testy! But you’re tearing yourself apart and it’s painful to see so just rip off the Band-Aid, ya feel?” Zayn continued.

“It’s not…ripping off a Band-Aid. It’s a major turning point in a relationship! Niall’s laidback but how many friendships have survived there being a one-way romantic attraction going on,”

“Who says it’s one-way?”

“Fuck off, Zayn. You’re not getting on this again!”

“You’re too busy being absorbed into everything Niall does that you refuse to look at how he acts around you. You think he’s boisterous around _you_? Once you’re gone he turns into a raging tornado of energy. He’s fucking _shy_ around you, but you can’t see that! I mean, shy for Niall is normal for every other person on the planet, but still,”

“I’m not in high school anymore. I refuse to look into everything little interaction with a person and see how that obviously means we’re in love,”

“You’re so _blind_ , kid,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry said as he waved Zayn off and cocooned himself in his comforter. There were a few seconds of silence as Zayn huffed to himself.

“Come on, the cab’s still running. Thought we’d go to the mall or something,” he finally got out.

“Can’t man. I have shit to do,”

“Like what? Be a scared child? Come on, get up,”

“No really! My mom wants me to go with her to this fancy dinner thing for her company. Wants to show me off to all her coworkers or whatever,”

“How convenient,”

“I didn’t know I’d be apparently having plans! Anyways, I still need to shower and get dressed. It’s like an hour away and shit and I really can’t leave with you and get back in time,”

Harry peered out of his comforter and saw Zayn giving him one of his famed stink-faces. A good one with a perfectly-curled lip and a particularly hostile stare.

“Fine. Have fun at your…thing. But I’ll see you at the bonfire,” Zayn said, leaving Harry’s room with a slam of the door.

Later that night, his mom left for the company dinner and wished Harry a goodnight. In true mom style she asked “Why don’t you call up one of your friends? Maybe they want to go to the mall or something. Don’t just mope around like you’ve been doing for the past few days,”

**

Harry was in the middle of a _Friends_ marathon on Nick at Nite when the house phone suddenly rang. It was nearing eleven but Harry was worried it was his mom so he picked up anyways. He heard an unwanted voice on the other end.

“Hare! How are ya?” his father practically yelled. Harry could smell the bourbon from a thousand miles away.

“Dad, what are you on about?” was all Harry found himself saying.

“I haven’t talked to you since you left. Why?”

“Busy,”

“Busy? I’m your old man! There’s always time for me!”

“Not many reasons to call. Besides, you haven’t called. Like ever,” Harry said, trying to speak quickly so he could get off the phone with him as soon as possible.

“My phone can take calls too, kiddo!”

“I don’t really have many reasons to-,”

“Wait, hold on a sec,” his father interrupted, “Hey, Jimmy, stop fucking around and get me another glass! Probably sitting in there wishin you were fucking Glenn Burke. Now what were you saying, H?”

“Wait, dad, who did you just say Jimmy was… _fucking_?”

“Burke?”

“Yeah, that. Who is he?” Harry asked, remembering that Niall had named him a few times as a hero, and he was always one of them that popped out in Harry’s mind, like he had heard that name before. Then Harry remembered where - it was a favorite insult of his dad’s.

“Oh, old Burkey was a player in the 70’s and a big, fat fa-”

“Dad!” Harry interjected.

“Fine, fine. _Homosexual_. Why’d you want to know?”

“No one…nothing. Call me when you’re sober,” Harry said as he hung up on his dad. The phone rang a few moments later but he wasn’t up to answering it. He had bigger things on his mind.

**

It’s not like Harry hadn’t thought of (dreamt of, even) Niall being gay. It’s just that he tried not to force a sexuality on him. Because, you know, that’s wrong. But Harry couldn’t help but get curious as all the events of the past months started to add up around him.

Well, not really add up because Harry was a bit drunk. His mind was not really in the right place and all that; he was sure that everything that made sense now was actually completely incoherent and would make his head hurt in the morning, but in the moment he was sure that all the pieces of this puzzle fit together perfectly. He had found a few Labatt Blues left in the bottom drawer of the fridge, and although he knew his mom would find them missing in the morning and be pissed off, he decided to risk it. Having a minor mental breakdown at the thought of your crush was a good reason, right? He was lying upside-down on his bed, his feet resting on the top of his headboard, staring up at the pictures he had pinned to the wall above it. It was a mixture of Florida pictures and Michigan pictures (Harry had decided not 10 minutes before to think of his life in two eras – FL and MI, kinda like BC and AD? Ah, forget it. He knew he’d think it was shit idea in the morning).

Harry didn’t really know if it was the alcohol talking or maybe he was being a bit sentimental, but he got the sudden urge to rip down all the FL pictures. He hated them. They showed a stupid Harry who let his friends dictate his happiness and his mood and his tastes. He hated that the pictures didn’t include Louis or Liam or Zayn or Niall. And…fucking Niall. Nothing about Niall made sense, except it all kind of did.

Glenn Burke? Really? That was who Niall always listed off as one of his heroes or inspirations. He wasn’t like, a bad player, but he was nothing extraordinary. He wasn’t even a first baseman, according to Harry’s quick research on Wikipedia. So why the fuck was this guy so important to Niall? Was it maybe because Niall was secretly gay and looked up to a guy that refused to marry a woman to suit the needs of the public, who was one of only two guys to admit to being gay in the MLB? Nah, it couldn’t be that. That would make Harry’s life too easy. Niall probably liked him because he helped invent the high-five. Knowing Niall that _would_ be the reason he admired the guy. Especially since there were no other hints that Niall could be gay anywhere else. _Except there totally fucking were._

Niall had kissed a boy, that’s what he had said during Never Have I Ever. And when he asked Harry about his sexuality, Niall didn’t look taken aback or nervous. No, Harry had thought about the look on Niall’s face a lot, and he was now sure that the expression was one of…relief. And what about Niall’s roommates? Harry didn’t really like them that much, they seemed like dickheads, but they mentioned that Niall never had any girls over. Sure, Niall didn’t have a lot of free time, but didn’t he get _lonely_?

Fuck, the kiss too. What had Niall called it, _natural_? No matter how he tried to explain that off, Harry didn’t believe Niall’s justification that it was what he always did. When had he kissed Liam or Louis or Zayn? That was something special between Niall and him, something meant to stay between them, and it had. No matter how much Harry talked with Zayn about his relationship with Niall, that little moment stayed buried in the back of his brain, away from prying minds. It was his.

But shit, was it really Harry’s place to interfere? Of course not, but he had to anyways. Because he was sick and tired of going insane thinking about the effervescent bubble that was Niall Horan. And he was sick and tired of imagining Niall’s shoulders and back in their uniform as he shot a load off into a tissue. The sooner he confronted this god damn infatuation, the sooner he could move past it and have a normal, functioning friendship with Niall. Or, if he was lucky, a hot, gay, steamy relationship with Niall that involved a lot of fucking and a lot of blow jobs and a lot of X-rated long-distance phone calls.

Then he felt Carl’s sweater laying across him, exactly where he had put it before when he stripped down and laid on the bed, but Harry had forgotten about it for at least the past twenty minutes. Every day Harry thought he was doing a good job of moving past Carl, then he’d put on his burnt-orange sweater and fall to shambles. Because that stupid fucking knit atrocity was the only thing keeping Carl in his life, yet Harry could not get himself to throw it away. Well, not literally, of course. That would be rude. It was someone else’s sweater! But every time he tried to throw it in a drawer or shove it in the bottom of the hamper or accidentally let it fall between the dryer and the wall, he would be back half an hour later apologizing to a non-sentient collection of fabric that represented an entire relationship – old, loud, fraying at the seams, and completely incapable of dying.

Harry yawned as he looked over at the clock and _fuck, five in the morning?_ He threw on the sweater and took off his boxers, like he had done every night for the past week, and climbed into bed. Above his head were picture of the warm beaches of Jacksonville and late-night hangouts on the hammock in his yard and stupid friends climbing large palm trees. But there were also pictures of new friends playing volleyball on the shores of Lake Michigan and a taco truck that should not be as delicious as it was and a little mascot wrench. He decided he liked those pictures a lot more. Michigan really wasn’t all that bad.

**

Harry pulled up to the front of Niall’s building at a little before seven, early for when he said he’d come. He sat in the front seat, fingers drumming at the window until Niall’s bright face finally popped out the door and he made his way down the stairs. His smile was shining as he threw himself into the car, leaning over and ruffling Harry’s hair as a new welcome.

“Hey, watch it! I don’t just let anyone mess up my beautiful locks,” Harry yelled out, quickly fixing his ‘do and then setting out on the road.

Niall was talking to Harry about his mom, something about her birthday coming up, but Harry was a tad too focused on what the hell he was going to do that night. He had to admit that he wanted to confess his love to Niall, wanted to get it off his shoulders, and he knew that if he didn’t Zayn would make his life a living hell. But right now Niall was leaning his head out the window and gazing at the houses passing by with genuine curiosity, curling the edge of his tank top around his finger and pursing his lips as he talked. Everything that Harry loved about him, and he didn’t want any of this change. Nothing had to change.

“Harry, can you please change the song?” Niall whined from the side.

He hadn’t really taken notice of what song had come on shuffle, but when he realized it was one of his favorites he gave Niall a devilish smile and just turned the volume up.

“ _Oh, Mama_!” Harry dramatically crooned with his head thrown back and a boyband air grab, “ _Don’t leave me alone_!”

Niall was giggling with the show that Harry was putting on.

“ _With my soul sat down so tight, it’s like a cold stone tomb-_ ”

“Fuck, I thought that song was depressing before I heard the lyrics. Now I kinda want to go back home and call my mom and cry or something,” Niall interrupted.

Harry found himself thinking back to the breakup, and how that was _exactly_ what Harry had done. Calling his mom sobbing about something that he refused to explain to her. He just needed her words and her coos and her to sing “You Are My Sunshine” just _one_ more time, he promised. Wrapped in a blanket on his bed or sitting in the bath with the water heated up to scorching temperatures or in his car in the parking lot of the abandoned K-Mart, just bawling his eyes out. He had done a lot of crying around that time, but it was so far into the past that those memories seemed like strangers.

As Niall air-strummed his air-guitar in the passenger seat, horribly miming the words to this song that he didn’t know, Harry laughed. And if you had told Harry those few months before that he would listen to this song not on a playlist made up of the most depressing songs imaginable (and fuck he had a lot to choose from) but rather driving to visit new friends in a new state with a new crush by his side, well he would have thought you were insane. But now Harry was laughing, and it didn’t seem insane because Niall was next to him and Carl was a thousand miles away and nothing seemed more right.

**

When Harry pulled round to the house he noticed that there were a few more cars than there than normal. He had imagined that the bonfire would just have been the five of them, but he was beginning to think he was wrong. Niall and he went ‘round to the backyard, and sure enough there was quite a few new people there. Harry had to guess that they were Louis’s and Liam’s friends from school. They recognized Stan and Danielle, but beyond that everyone was strangers.

“Boys!” Louis yelled as he ran over to them “Welcome to Bonfire Night at the Paynes’!”

He pulled them into a group cuddle, and before any of them knew it Liam was there as well, surrounding them with his large arms. And then Zayn let out a loud yell and ran over. Harry could hear Niall giggling and feel Liam’s breath on his neck and smell the liquor on Louis. All of his senses were swathed in his four boys and he could not have been happier.

They broke apart and Liam returned to his spot making out with Danielle, but Louis led Harry around the yard, introducing him to people they passed. Niall stayed behind with Zayn, enveloped in a hug so intimate and close that Harry found himself wondering what the hell was going on between them. He was introduced to a lot of people, many of them already high or drunk, and their names went in one ear and out the other. He felt himself to be a bit preoccupied at the moment.

A beer eventually found its way into Harry’s hand and he floated around the garden taking in his surroundings. Danielle was teaching some dance moves to Liam over by the stereo. Louis was chatting up a girl, folding his arms against his chest and flexing his arms like he _always_ did around hot chicks. A couple were making out on the grass by the gate, two girls were playing on the swing set, one guy was shotgunning a can of beer. Harry’s eyes finally found Zayn and Niall, and he walked over to them.

They were sitting on a bench by the fire. It should have really only held two people, but they scooted over and let him sit down. The bench was comfortably squished with limbs crossing over each other. Niall’s head was resting on Zayn’s shoulder, and Zayn was cupping Niall’s face in his hand and Harry was just left wondering who the hell was really in love in this fucked up friendship, but Zayn had this look in his eyes that he sometimes got when his sisters called him up and Harry couldn’t help but notice that it was more gentle than lustful.

The sun setting meant that the party slowed down a bit. Everyone was a little tipsy or a little high, but the air was heavy with smoke and humidity which caused a lulling effect on everyone. It didn’t dull the fun, just changed it. Dani was no longer teaching Liam how to salsa, instead they were slow dancing, body to body. No room for the holy spirit in that mix. And Louis had stopped flitting from girl to girl, instead focusing on one brunette with wavy hair and a quiet giggle.

One by one people either left the party or gathered around the fire. Some marshmallows and sticks were brought out and everyone was enjoying their favorite childhood snack, smores, with their favorite adult one, alcohol. Zayn moved across the fire pit to sit next to Louis, they seemed to be whispering about something as the girl Louis had been talking to sat next to Danielle. Harry guessed they had arrived together. This left Harry and Niall on their bench alone, but the absence of Zayn didn’t keep them from being as intertwined. Niall’s arm was hooked around Harry’s shoulders (even if this was a tad difficult due to the height difference) and their legs were just in a complete tangle. They couldn’t even blame the alcohol – both were completely sober. Harry couldn’t help but notice Zayn’s stray glances every once in a while.

As the night wore on the air grew chilly, Niall started shivering in his shorts and tank top.

“Showing off those biceps isn’t looking so great now, huh?” Louis joked from across the pit.

“It’s summer, why the hell is it cold?” Niall asked, an edge to the question came from his teeth chattering.

“Actually, because there were no clouds today, all the heat has escaped into the atmosphere and…” Zayn started to say.

“Usually I care, bud, but right now all I want are some long sleeves,”

“I can go upstairs and see if I can get a sweater for you?” Liam offered.

“Nah, I have one in the car. It’s closer, I’ll run and grab it,” Harry found himself saying.

There was one in his trunk. It was black and said _Teenage Runaway_ on the front. It was one of his favorites but he’d hardly ever worn it because Carl would always make fun of it. Harry didn’t think it was “pretentious”.

Back at the bonfire Harry threw it at Niall, who caught it and quickly pulled it on. He sighed as he took in the warmth. It was a bit too big for Niall. He was kinda swimming in it and the sleeves were a tad long, so it just made Niall look snuggly. Like a pillow.

“Thanks, bud,” Niall said as he put his head on Harry’s shoulder.           

Harry was then hyper-aware of Niall. In a way he always was, he was always focused on what Niall was doing and why he was doing it and who he was doing it with. Because Harry was fond of everything Niall did and he liked for Niall to be happy and comfortable and entertained and warm. But right then Harry was focused on how Niall was wearing his sweatshirt, the sweatshirt that has been his and wicked up his own sweat and now smelt like his pine air freshener. Harry was also aware that Niall just pulled the hem of the sleeve up to his nose and smelled it, taking in a whiff of the sweatshirt that Harry couldn’t get out of his mind. Niall’s face relaxed into a calm demeanor as he took in the scent, and this face reminded Harry of his own. Of his own face when he smelled the unmistakable cranberry, woody scent of Carl’s sweater.

“Mmm, I’m tired,” Niall said. Harry felt Niall snuggle closer to his neck and he glanced over to Zayn who was giving him a “Why aren’t you doing anything about this situation, you little shithead” look. So Harry did.

“Niall are you hungry?” Harry asked.

“Is that a serious question?” Niall replied groggily.

“Want me to make you something inside?”

Niall shot up and his eyes grew wide, his smile raced upwards as he pulled Harry into the house. Zayn smirked.

Harry started rooting around the fridge (incredibly stark considering most of the family wasn’t home) while Niall sat himself on the counter next to the sink. Niall was rambling on about something, Harry really couldn’t focus on it right then, and he was playing with his fingers in a weird, child-like manner. Harry turned around from the fridge and noticed that all the blinds in the kitchen were closed. No one could see in and it was his chance to make his move.

“Niall-” Harry started.

“Yeah, Curly?” Niall said back.

“I need to ask you something important,”

Niall stopped playing with his hands, fingers frozen at weird angles. “Yeah?” Harry swore he could see Niall gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“Just…”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, uh, yeah,”

“Yeah?”

“Just…do you like me?”

And Niall went silent, which was a new adjective for him.

“Why?” was all that came out of Niall’s mouth. It wasn’t a definitive answer; it wasn’t even something Harry could answer. So Harry did all he could do and moved next to him.

He was standing inches away from Niall’s face. His torso was grazing Niall’s knees.  Everything was hovering and tension was pulling them even closer – like magnets. He was left staring at Niall’s hands. They were bigger than he had expected, stronger, calloused from the guitar and his sport. And from up close Harry could really see into Niall’s eyes. They were dazzlingly blue with hints of green sprinkled around, bright from the light fixture over the sink making a spotlight around them. His freckles were extra noticeable from this distance, little dots of sunshine. Harry had never been this intimately close to Niall to see these things, to appreciate them. And now that he was there he never wanted to leave.

“Niall…if you like me, kiss me,” Harry whispered.

He barely had gotten the words out before Niall’s hands were grabbing at Harry’s shirt, pulling them together. The kiss was quick and gentle, nearly over before it started. They pulled apart to survey the damage, see the look on the other’s face – to see if it was as big as a surprise for each other. But the separation couldn’t last that long because they were insatiable, so Niall grabbed onto Harry and pulled them together again.

His force was a little overwhelming and their noses ended up slamming together, but Harry didn’t care. Niall’s tongue was in his mouth and _Niall’s tongue was in his mouth_. Harry was used to first kisses being unconfident and sloppy and awkward but Niall felt right. Niall was practiced at this craft. Harry’s tongue flicked over Niall’s braces, something he hadn’t done since he was at least thirteen. But Niall was so much better than Cory Newton behind the school cafeteria after the last bell.

Harry slipped his hands around to Niall’s back, playing with the bottom of his shirt, and Niall’s arms squeezed around Harry’s shoulders, pulling them together. Niall pulled himself up and hitched his waist forward, and god dammit if Harry didn’t feel bad for doing this in his best friends’ kitchen, but it felt too good to stop.

Suddenly the sliding door opened and Harry shot away from Niall. He heard Zayn’s voice frantically yell “Hey Dani! Wait a sec!” and Harry was grateful for it as Danielle seemed to turn around before she could properly adjust to the darkness of the room.

“What?” she yelled back.

“Uh, grab me a bottle of water, please!” Zayn said, taking a few seconds to come up with the excuse.

Danielle huffed and turned back around to see Niall and Harry just kinda staring at her oddly, no food in sight.

“Didn’t you two leave like ten minutes ago to make food? We had thought Harry was making some sort of culinary masterpiece considering how long it was taking,”

“Oh, ah, nothing appealed to me. Harry and me were just talking about Northwestern,” Niall was able to make up.

“Well, you could always do that outside. I’m sure the rest of us would like to hear it too!”

Niall jumped down from the counter and the two walked out together. As the night continued they tried to play it coy, but neither could help it if their hand started tracing circles on the other’s, or if their knees rested together, or if the few inches of space they had previously left between them was forever gone. They could only guess that no one knew anything, but Zayn caught Harry’s eye and he raised his eyebrows. It was all Harry could do but to just giggle back.

**

They left the party around two. Zayn was hanging back and sleeping there that night, but Niall had a game the next day and needed to get back to his apartment; he was already pushing it by being out so late. As Harry keeled out of the driveway, one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding Niall’s in his lap, the last thing he wanted to do was return home. He had Niall, he was right there and they had kissed, but they had barely said two words since it happened. So a mile from Louis and Liam’s house he pulled into an empty parking lot and, well, they were alone.

As soon as the car was in park, Niall’s hands were around Harry’s face. Harry let a few rushed kisses get by before he finally pulled back.

“Wait, wait!” Harry yelled out, gasping. He realized that he hadn’t been breathing regularly ever since they left the house.

“What, did I do something wrong?” Niall asked, seeming a bit stressed.

“No. Fuck, no! It’s just that…we need to talk about this,” Harry said with some very dramatic hand motions, “because we can’t just pretend this is _normal_ because it’s not,”

“But like, you’re okay with it right? Like this is what you wanted?”

“Yes! It’s just…this is all happening really quickly and I really wasn’t expecting this at all. I mean, in a way I was. But…”

“I get what you mean, okay? But can it wait like five minutes because I’ve been itching to get my hands on you ever since we were in the kitchen together and, shit, it’s been so long,”

Harry didn’t really see anything wrong with that so their faces rushed together again. It was a bit awkward, the Jeep being small and them being big and all. It was a bit cramped but their options were few and far between and really, how much space did they need?

Niall’s tongue was playfully circling Harry’s, intent and focused. And Harry had to admit that Niall had a certain…knack for this. One hand was at the back of Harry’s neck, stroking it softly, and the other was holding onto his jaw, steadying their movements in the confined quarters. This, _this_ , was what Harry had dreamed of those nights after the kiss on the concourse. This was supposed to be how their first kiss went, and as far as Harry was concerned that kiss (let’s call it a peck, really) could be damned. This was the kiss he would tell his children about. This was the kiss he would dream about. This was kiss he would remember.

Harry’s hand’s wandered over Niall’s body, exploring the strong shoulders and the flat chest that he had imagined so often in their uniform. Grasping onto the body that had once been an enigma and was now his. He ran his hands over Niall’s face and was surprised to find stubble on his baby-faced cheeks. That was the thing about Niall, he was full of surprises.

“Wait, wait,” Harry stuttered as he pulled apart, Niall’s head continuing to follow his, “I stopped for a reason, you actually have to get home. We need to get this talking shit done,”

“How romantic, Curly,” Niall huffed.

“Okay, just answer me this: what are you expecting out of this? Is this a one-night thing, do you want to go back to being friends tomorrow? Is this a ‘let’s make out whenever we want but I don’t want a relationship’ thing? Is it more of a real relationship? What am I looking at here?” Harry asked, scanning Niall’s face for a little reassurance.

“Well, I mean, making out’s nice, but I’d certainly like the last one?” Niall answered.

“Okay, good. Yeah, me too,”

“You have a pretty face but I certainly don’t shove those god damn Ni-Dogs in my mouth each night so that I can just stare at you. Being…around you is nice, too,”

“Wait, are you telling me you don’t like Ni-Dogs?” Harry asked, perhaps a bit distracted.

“I mean, they’re not bad. But I must have had over twenty now and they’re not _that_ good. I just like to have an excuse to come see you,”

“You could have just came and talked to us, Ni. As friends,”

“Yeah, well, a mind in love isn’t logical,”

“Tell me about it,” Harry replied, sending a smirk in Niall’s direction. Even though they had just made out for five minutes this was the first time they were really saying they had feelings for each other, and Harry couldn’t help but feel like he was back in middle school again. He looked over at Niall and saw that he was blushing, a fierce red moving over his face.

Niall yawned and shifted in his seat, laying his head down on Harry’s perfectly-placed shoulder. Harry grabbed Niall’s left hand with both of his own and brought it up to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to it. Niall just snuggled closer into his shoulder, closing his eyes. Harry was realizing how late it was.

“What do we do now?” Harry asked, almost whispering out of respect of Niall’s tiredness.

“Drive home?”

“No, I mean, can I tell anyone? I’m out but, I’m assuming, you’re not,”

“Oh, yeah. That. Uh, well, you see. Maybe try to keep it on the DL. I’m not sure if I want my team to know. That’s a sticky situation that I don’t think I really want to get into half-way through a season,”

“Understandable. But what about the boys? Liam and Lou and Zayn?”

“We can tell them, of course. Liam will think it’s adorable and Louis will probably laugh and Zayn will just be happy,” Niall replied. Harry smiled knowing just how happy Zayn would be.

“You know, we can probably tell Zayn first,” Niall continued.

“Wait, why?” Harry asked, being caught off-guard.

“Well, he already knows. About me anyways,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you did, drop me a comment! (Also sorry it's later than usual but finals are coming up and stress is raining down on me)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their faces were close and Niall did end up falling asleep, rather quickly Harry noticed. And he could feel Niall’s warm breath on his neck and feel his muscles relax as sleep finally overtook him, taking him off to a worry-free dreamland. Harry wondered what Niall dreamed about, be it baseball or food or Boston. And deep down, he hoped Niall dreamed of him.

Harry woke up to his phone buzzing on his bed-side table. He reached over to see that Zayn was ringing him. Probably returning one of the twenty calls Harry had left the night before.

“Jesus Christ, Harry!” Zayn yelled with a giggle, “I guess you really wanted to tell me about your night with Niall, huh?”

“No, asshole. I actually wanted to know why the fuck you were the secret wingman to both Niall and I,” Harry said, he voice still so dull from sleep that he couldn’t properly yell.

“…oh,”

“Yeah, oh? Was this like a game for you? Try to see if you could hook two of your friends up before the summer was over?”

“Get your tin hat off! Listen, I didn’t make Niall tell me that he liked you, okay? I realized it before either of you said anything to me,”

“Why didn’t you just tell us that you knew about each other, instead of just beating around the bush?”

“Uh, privacy, dude? Besides, I left enough hints out. I pretty much told both of you that you were in love just without _actually_ saying it. You found out, it’s all good,”

“I just…hate feeling like my emotions were being toyed with,”

“They weren’t, okay? There were so many times when I just wanted to grab you by the shoulders and scream in your face ‘Niall told me he can’t stop thinking about you, do something about it!’ but… I had to let one of you do it. You have to understand that right? That nothing would be accomplished with me throwing you two in closet and crossing my fingers that you’d make out, right?”

“Yeah, but that would’ve been pretty hot, though,”

“You’re not mad anymore, right?”

“No…I never really was _mad_ , I just felt like I had been set up. We’re good now,”

“So, how was last night then?” Zayn asked, Harry could hear the smirk through his voice.

“God, get your mind out of the gutter. Niall _really did_ have to get back,”

“Nothing happened?”

“Well, I mean I pulled over a mile away from their house and we had a little fun, but it was all PG I swear to God,”

“What gentlemen!”

“I don’t want to fuck things up by pushing him out of his comfort zone,”

“Fair enough,”

“Anyways, we’re gonna have a fun time in a few hours anyways. Niall and I figured out how we’re going to break it to Louis and Liam,”

“Oh, really? Do tell,”

“I told Liam to get him and Louis to my apartment like 10 minutes early because I had to run something by them. Hopefully Lou isn’t an asshole and is on time. Niall’s gonna Facetime in so that we can tell them together. We figure it’s better that way,”

“Are you nervous?”

“I can’t tell,”

**

It turned out Harry was actually very nervous. His stomach was twisted and he kept pulling at his hair. He figured that it was because, although Louis and Liam were very open and accepting, he wouldn’t be able to handle them not being okay with the situation. This… _thing_ was so fresh and new (it hadn’t even been 24 hours) and if it fell to shit already, well, Harry would probably just give up. It’s not like he had a reason to think that his friends would react poorly, it’s just that things in his life always seemed to end up worse than expected, so why would this be any different? The only saving grace was that both his mother and his sister had to work and they would be out for the house for the time being.

Out the window he could see their Camry pull up (Liam was in the driver’s seat, hence why they were actually two minutes early) so Harry got his phone out and called Niall. He picked up immediately, and with a few words of reassurance they got themselves ready to break the news.

Harry told his friends to sit on the couch, and even though they were very confused they did so.

“Okay, so Niall and I have something to tell you…” Harry started.

“What, are you two fucking?” Louis asked, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face.

“No!” Niall yelled from the phone indignantly.

“No!” Harry continued, “It’s more like… making out and holding hands and shit,”

Louis blankly stared back at him while Liam’s expression slowly turned towards a mix between utter confusion and general happiness.

“Say something!” Niall yelled.

“It’s just…this is a joke, right?” Louis questioned.

“Is something wrong?” Harry asked, worry creeping more and more into his mind.

“But, like, no! No, no, no! You’re just…what?”

“Were we really being that subtle? According to Zayn we’ve been eye-fucking for the past month,”

“Yeah, not to mention we crept away for 15 minutes last night together,” Niall added.

“I literally can’t believe it!” Liam yelled, although his large smile begged to differ.

“Guys, even though I’m astonished, honestly. Like, please know you have my full support. I just would’ve never guessed,”

Harry smiled, and was truthfully a little amazed that something finally shut Louis up.

“Aww, guys!” was all Liam was able to say before he pulled Harry (and additionally Niall, though it was through the phone) into a large hug. Louis eventually sighed and joined in the cuddle. Harry felt the worry release from his body as Liam’s face pressed against his and Louis’s arms held them closer, but especially as Niall’s giggle escaped from the phone.

**

Harry spent his entire shift staring out at the scoreboard, counting down the innings until the game was over. Fortunately enough for Harry, the game went quickly. Unfortunately for everyone else, it was because the team had played extra poorly. Three out of the nine innings had seen no Wrench players get on base. He couldn’t be too sad, though, because he wanted Niall back, and they certainly couldn’t make out while he was too busy trying to catch a foul ball. Harry could’ve squealed with delight as the final customers made their way through the line and he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket. Risking a lashing from Pablo for looking at his phone before his shift was up, Harry whipped it out and was relieved to see that the text was from Niall.

“Blondie: Busy?”

“Just at work you know,”

“Blondie: Take the trash out and keep a look out for blond Irishmen on the prowl,”

“Haha, will do,”

Harry ran over to Liam out of impatience and also because he knew Niall didn’t have a lot of time.

“I’m going to take the trash out and I might be a few minutes. If anyone asks any questions please cover for me,” Harry whispered, “By the way, I don’t think your Ni-Dog services will be needed tonight,”

He skipped off down the corridor, trash bag in hand with a grin too wide for the occasion. He peered around, wondering where Niall could possibly be hiding when he heard a voice come from a utility closet: “Hey, come here, poohead,” It had to be Niall because no one else in the world could lace such a lame insult with such love.

Harry fell into the closet and into Niall’s arms in one easy swoop. He couldn’t control the giggling that was coming out of his mouth, but he didn’t really want to anyways because he felt that their kisses were better and more genuine when done through a smile. Harry felt sticky and gross from working in the stand for the past four hours and he wanted to apologize for smelling like Dr. Pepper and nachos, but considering Niall tasted like sweat and red Gatorade he felt that it was alright.

Niall’s hands were slowly working their way through Harry’s hair, making his scalp feel soft and buzzy. Harry felt so loved that he pulled his mouth from Niall’s, making his way down the Niall’s neck with light kisses. He could feel Niall’s neck moving with his chest, tightening with every short breath he let out. Finally Harry made it down to Niall’s collarbone, concealed only in a tank he had thrown on before leaving the locker room. It was covered in freckles and slightly burned from too much sun, and Harry found it to be the perfect place for a nibble.

“Shit!” Niall said, pushing Harry off. He really wasn’t expecting that.

“What’s wrong? Is someone coming?” Harry asked.

“No! It’s just that you… you can’t really give me hickeys. I’m shirtless a lot around the guys and they’ll definitely notice,”

“So what? They’ll think you’ve finally nagged a girl and they’ll be so happy that they’ll probably pop some champagne or something,”

“Trust me, I’m pretty sure they’ve stopped looking for signs I’ve found a girl and started looking for signs I’ve found a guy, and I really don’t want them finding enough evidence. Plus, they’d be a little confused if I left for ten minutes after a game and came back with someone else’s teeth marks on my skin,”

“What, are they used to seeing their own on there?”

“Stop!” Niall yelled, following it with a chuckle.

“Sorry, I just really haven’t had to think about this that much. I’m okay with our relationship, but I’m having trouble remembering that not everyone might be,” Harry said, grabbing Niall and pulling him into an embrace.

“ _I’m_ sorry. I’m sorry that my wretched job makes it so that people can’t know we’re together and we’re reduced to making out in janitor closets during home games, which I guess is preferable to away games where we can’t even do _that_ ,”

“Listen,” Harry consoled, his voice dropping into a softer tone, “I know you don’t think your job’s wretched because I hear how you talk about baseball and I know how important it is to you. I made out with you last night knowing fully well that you have to put your sport first, okay? I’m not dumb-”

“I don’t know, falling for me seems pretty dumb,” Niall mused, sniggering a bit.

“-and it really sucks that your field might not always accept who you are, but I’m willing to wait with you until it does, okay?”

Niall answered him with fingers at his jaw, pressing their lips together again.

**

This continued every night. After games Niall’s free time was short, he was only able to sneak away for ten minutes at most. Harry decided that they really needed to make the most of this small amount of time they had together. With each night they got a little riskier, a little more comfortable around each other. One night Harry inexplicably took his shirt off, and neither of them knew where he was going from there, but Niall didn’t hate the view and Harry didn’t hate the freedom so no one was mad.

A few days after this all had started, Harry peeked his head out of the closet they were bunkered down in to make sure no one would see them leave together, when Niall pulled him back inside.

“Was someone in the hall?” Harry hurriedly asked.

“No. I’ve just been meaning to ask you something the whole five minutes we’ve been in here, but I’ve been too afraid,” Niall explained.

“Niall you know you don’t have to be afraid around me. I’m the world’s least-threatening person. I’m 6’2” of falling over my own feet and crying at Disney movies,”

“Okay, yeah. It’s just… tomorrow we have an early game. I should be done around eight and the team hasn’t got anything planned. Normally I’d just go back to the apartment and do nothing until I fall asleep, but now I’ve got a hot guy a few buildings away who I really want to cuddle with…”

“Niall, are you asking me to stay over?” Harry asked, putting on a playfully shocked expression that was backed by actual surprise.

“Well, no,”

Harry’s face fell.

“It’s not really a safe place for us, you know. I was thinking more of going over your place?” Niall continued.

Harry thought for a moment about whether or not his mom and sister would be home, but Niall was looking at him with longing eyes and puffy lips and he suddenly didn’t care if his family was home. Even if he had to sneak Niall in through his window, he’d make it work somehow.

“Yeah, of course. That’s not even a question, you’re welcome anytime,”

“And I can stay the night and stuff?”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,”

**

That night Harry went home to find his mother still awake, watching some late-night infomercial from her bed in the living room.

“How was work, Harry?” she asked, like she did every night.

“Fine, nothing to complain about,”

“Good, now go get a shower because I can smell the hotdogs from here,”

“Before I go to bed, can I just ask you something?”

She looked up from the Slapchop demonstration in front of her and cocked her head with worry.

“Is something wrong? Do you need to sit down?”

“No it’s nothing too important, mom. It’s just that… I’d kinda like to have a friend over tomorrow,”

“Oh, is that it? Harry you’re 18 you don’t need to ask me if a friend can come and play,”

“Well, it’s just that I’d much rather that you weren’t there,”

“Haz, what kind of play date is this?”

“Mom, please. This is really important to me. I know you’ve been dying to get off of this pullout couch. I’ll even help pay for the hotel room!”

“No, if it’s something you really want then I think I can find a friend who will let me sleepover if it’s only for one night. Are you okay, though? Do you need anything? Food? Money? Condoms?”

“Jesus Christ, mom!”

She threw her hands in the air and yelled, “I’m just trying to keep my baby safe and disease-free!”

“I actually don’t think I’ll be needing them, thanks though,”

He swore he could see her let out a deep breath.

“Oh, and one more thing, can you make sure Gemma’s out, too?” Harry asked.

“I don’t think that will be hard, love. She never passes up a chance to sleep at Rudy’s house,”

“Wait, who’s Rudy?”

“Her boyfriend,”

“Why don’t I know about him?”

“How often do you actually talk to your sister?”

“What’s more than never but less than not ever?”

“Just stay safe and we’ll stay out of your curly hair, okay?”

**

Work was agonizing because Harry couldn’t get the night off of his mind, and of course that was the game where the Wrenches actually put up a spectacular fight. It wasn’t even just Niall this time; the entire team seemed to be playing well, so even though the Burlington Bees had a much better record they were tied as the ninth inning ended. Of fucking course this game went into overtime. And not by just one inning, no, the eleventh inning came up and the entire snack bar looked like they were going to pass out. Finally, someone other than Niall made a spectacular hit and the guy on second made it home. The entire stadium erupted as the Wrenches _finally_ won.

Niall stopped by the concession stand for the first time in a few days. The rest of Harry’s coworkers had noticed him not being around, but had just put it up to him being busy. At least Harry hoped they did because he didn’t really think it was too hard to match up Niall’s absence with Harry’s propensity for slipping off for five minutes at a time. Really, they were all probably more confused that Niall wasn’t an eating a Ni-Dog for the first time in, well, ever. As long as they were together Harry didn’t really care what he and Niall were doing, but he really wished that everyone could get back to work so he could return home and wait for Niall to join him. Luckily Coach Cowell came up within a few minutes and dragged Niall back down to the locker room.

**

Harry busied himself in his house, trying to fix everything up for Niall’s visit while simultaneously trying to distract himself from what the fuck they were going to do that night. A box of Easy Mac was cooking on the stove and there were a few beers in the fridge that his mom told him wouldn’t be missed in the morning. He had already brushed his teeth and changed his shirt twice because he really wanted to look good for Niall. He didn’t really know _why_ because Niall had seen him at his grungiest and least-attractive, but maybe because this was their first date… kinda. It was the first time they’d be hanging out since the Bonfire that didn’t involve a closet or people waiting 10 feet away that didn’t know what they were doing. They were safe in the apartment and could do whatever they pleased.

What did Niall want to do, though? He was the one who had recommended they spend the night together, and if it were any other guy Harry would’ve thought they were getting laid that night, but Niall took things slowly. Harry was always the one to help Niall get situated, to push past the comfort zones that they had been resting in. It was totally out of character for Niall to be the one to actually suggest something new, and spending the night was totally new. Yet Harry had this lingering feeling that all Niall wanted to do was eat and watch a movie and cuddle, and to be honest Harry wouldn’t mind that.

Ever since the Bonfire (he counted, it had been five days) they had done a lot of making out and texting, but they hadn’t had the time to just talk and hang out. It’s not like Niall had a lot of time for that anyways, but tonight was a chance to fit that in. If that meant sacrificing time when Harry could possibly be getting a handjob, well it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

His phone finally buzzed as Niall texted him.

“Blondie: Z dropping me off in a few , keep a look out ;)”  

Harry plated the mac and cheese and prayed that it wouldn’t cool before Niall got there. Finally, a taxi pulled into the parking lot and a blond boy got out of the back, carrying a good-sized duffle with him. Harry ran out the door so Niall wouldn’t have to knock on the door (and maybe just in case he had forgotten where the apartment was) but he just ran up the stairs with his bag bumping his back with every step. When Niall got to the door Harry dove his arms under Niall’s armpits, scooping down into a close hug. He rested his head on Niall’s broad shoulder, smile spread across his face, and looked down to see Zayn standing by the cab, shaking his head. Harry flipped him off and pulled Niall inside.

“I figured you’d be hungry-” Harry started.

“Always a good assumption to make,” Niall interrupted.

“I made Easy Mac, hope that’s alright?”

“I’ll eat anything edible,”

Both walked over to the kitchen table, but they separately had the thought that the sofa would be a much more comfortable place to eat so they grabbed their bowls and headed over. Harry and Niall fell easily next to each other, knees knocking together and arms pushed in front of chests so that they could be as close as possible and still eat their food. Niall dove into his hungrily and Harry was proud that he had the foresight to give Niall a little more in his bowl.

“So where has your family run off to?” Niall asked.

“My mom’s off at a friend’s house and my sister’s at her boyfriend’s. I didn’t even know she _has_ a boyfriend,”

“So… they know about me?”

Harry stared down into his bowl.

“Not quite. They know I have _someone_ over just not _who_ ,”

“Why haven’t you told them yet?”

“I thought you didn’t want me to?” Harry raising his head and looking Niall in eyes.

“Well shit, Curly, don’t go spreading it around town and don’t tell your dad or anything, but I wouldn’t stop you from telling your mom,”

“Ahhh…” Harry groaned, letting his head fall back so it hit the wall behind him. Niall put his head on Harry’s shoulder to comfort him, but didn’t stop eating the noodles.

“It’s just, I haven’t told my mom about _all_ my relationships in the past. I discussed crushes with her back in elementary school when I still thought I was having them on girls, but guys have never been a thing we’ve talked about. Even my last boyfriend, she really barely knows him. I think I’m afraid to tell them about you because I know they’re okay with the idea of me being gay, but will they still be fine with it once I finally act upon it, y’know?” Harry explained.

“You don’t have to justify that to me. I won’t judge. Tell them on your own time, when you’re comfortable, okay?”

Yeah, Harry was okay.

He put his bowl down on the table next to him and rested his head on Niall’s, feeling Niall’s hair against his forehead. It was still a little damp and smelled of the ‘manly’ shampoo that he used after games. Harry was done with his bowl, and although Niall was lagging behind, he used this opportunity to get Niall to eat faster.

See, Niall had this spot right behind his ear and below his hairline that drove him insane, and it hadn’t taken long for Harry to pick up on it. All it usually took was a few kisses there for Niall to be driven mental. Niall tilted his head closer to Harry’s, feeding into what was given to him. He put his bowl down, Harry considered this a small victory, and turned over so that he could properly get a hold on Harry’s head and pulling their lips together.

“God, you taste like artificial cheese!” Harry joked, pulling out of the kiss for only a second.

“What, you think you taste any different?” Niall was able to mumble out through lips smashed against Harry’s.

“Next time you come over I’ll cook you a proper meal. One with real ingredients and not from a box. Just didn’t have enough time tonight,”

“Are you proposing a second date, Mr. Styles?”

“We should probably get this one rolling first…” and Harry lunged forward, catching Niall between himself and the sofa.

Niall cradled Harry’s head in his hand, and even though his touch was gentle, his mouth was furious. Harry could feel the bites growing needier and the fingers going through his hair and just for a moment he let himself think that Niall was really going the distance.

“Harry…” Niall barely breathed.

“Yeah?” he responded, bracing himself for some dirty talk.

“I’m really tired,”

And Harry slumped forward, giggling into Niall’s collarbone.

“Come on, Little Bear, let’s get you to bed,” Harry said, pulling Niall off the sofa and collecting the dishes. It would have been better to do them then, but that didn’t really seem to be in the cards.

Harry led Niall back to his bedroom, and he was thankful that he had tidied up before going to work because it looked really nice and he knew that Niall liked things clean. Niall took off the t-shirt that he had arrived in, leaving just the grey sweatpants. Harry knew that he had slept naked in the same room as Niall before, but he wasn’t so comfortable doing so now, so he stopped disrobing at his underwear. Niall returned from the bathroom with his teeth brushed and with his hair looking very snuggly pushed down against his forehead.

“You know…I’m just tired. I don’t need to go to bed yet, but all that back there was just wearing me out. We can watch a movie or something?”

“Oh yeah!” Harry said, springing to life because he had prepared just for this, “I have some stuff downloaded onto my laptop. Let’s see, I’ve got _Up_ , _Bambi_ , _Toy Story,_ _Lady and the Tramp_ …”

“Eh, I don’t like Disney. Got anything-”

“Wait, what do you mean you _don’t like Disney_? Who doesn’t like Disney?”

“I don’t know, my family never watched those movies when I was a kid and they’ve never pulled me in now. It’s just not my thing,”

“That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say and I’ve been around Louis drunk, for God’s sake,”

“I don’t know what to tell you except that I’m not watching anything that’s not acted out by real people,”

“Okay, _We Bought a Zoo_? Is that acceptable for Sir Hates-Disney-And-Everything-Magical?”

“Yes, he will accept that,” Niall said, finally slinking back down into the bed and hiding himself under the covers. Harry pressed play and set the laptop down on the other side of the bed. He and Niall snuggled in closer, Niall naturally taking the little spoon position.

“Have I told you I’m playing in an All-Star game on Tuesday?” Niall asked quietly

“No!” Harry whispered into his blond hair.

“Yeah, I’m going to be the starting first baseman. The coach is really expecting a lot from me, I hope I don’t let him down,”

“You won’t. You never do,”

“Anything going on with you next week?” Niall asked, Harry figuring that he too had realized that they didn’t really do a lot of face-to-face speaking.

“I’ve got an oral surgeon’s appointment. I’m getting out my wisdom teeth within the month,”

“Oh, really? Sounds horrible,”

“Haven’t you gotten yours out?”

“Nah, I might have messed up teeth but I’ve been blessed with a very comfortably spacious jaw,”

“Oh, is that so?” Harry asked, letting himself nip at Niall’s neck just once. He knew Niall’s rule, but one bite wouldn’t leave a mark. Niall giggled at his touch, but followed it with a yawn that he tried to keep in.

“Just go to sleep, Ni. I’ll just finish watching the movie. It’s not a big deal,”

“You sure?”

Harry pressed a kiss to the back of Niall’s head in assurance, wrapping his arms around Niall’s waist in the process. Niall took his hand and pulled it closer, interweaving their fingers so that they were locked together. “’Night,” Niall breathed out. Harry snuggled in closer, close enough so that he could smell the lemon shampoo in Niall’s hair. He wasn’t that tired yet so he watched what little he could see of the movie and tried to lull himself with the sounds of Mark Whalberg and Scarlett Johansson mildly flirting. His hand was pressed against Niall stomach’s, right where he had placed it before going to sleep. It maybe wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world, but Harry would suffer through a knot in his neck if it meant spending the night flush against Niall. He could feel Niall sleeping next to him, his breathing slowed and an innocent whistle coming from his nose, so Harry was a little more than surprised when Niall inexplicably called out his name.

“Shit,” Harry thought, “this kid talks about me in his sleep,”

“I can’t sleep,” Niall continued, revealing that he had never been asleep at all. He rolled over, meeting Harry face to face.

“Can I do something to help? Do you need me to turn the movie off?” Harry asked.

“No, I need to do this,” Niall said, pulling his face up to meet Harry’s.

Harry was surprised at the sudden kiss, but really he wasn’t going to complain. He was getting quite used to their lips roaming against each others’, finding new spots to linger on. Niall dug his face into Harry’s shoulder, trying to leave his mark. The no hickeys rule really only went one way. Harry took his time busying himself by exploring Niall’s body. He knew that Niall definitely worked out because, well, he played a sport, but his muscles were always hiding. He looked deceivingly small, but under those tank tops and basketball shorts laid a body built and sculpted through time, effort, and, apparently, an insane amount of protein shakes. Harry could feel the firmness of Niall’s biceps and the small lines leading down towards Niall’s sweatpants.

They had been quite content with staying above that line, but Harry was really hoping to cross it. He brought a finger down from where it was resting against Niall’s ear, tracing lines along the way. It circled Niall’s nipple, eliciting a shiver and a gasp from him. And then it continued down, hitting speed bump after speed bump along Niall’s abs. Finally, it reached the band of the sweatpants and a few other fingers joined it to rest just under the top.

“Is this alright?” Harry whispered, not withdrawing his lips from Niall’s. He hesitated for a second and Harry went to withdraw his hand, but then Niall nodded shyly and Harry wandered deeper.

His hand traveled along the smooth of Niall’s lower torso, reaching further until it hit Niall’s boxers. His fingers dug under the elastic and grabbed onto Niall’s semi, Harry feeling the knot grow in his stomach as he felt himself growing harder and felt the anticipation of what he couldn’t believe they were about to do. Suddenly, Niall gasped out a strangled “No!” and grabbed Harry’s forearm, retreating quickly.

“I’m sorry… thought I could do it… can’t,” Niall mumbled out, hiding his face in Harry’s chest.

“No, no. It’s alright!” Harry said, trying to comfort Niall with a few kisses to his forehead, rubbing the now-free hand along his back in a way he hoped was comforting.

“God, I’m stupid. I just…”

“You’re not stupid, stop,”

“Are you mad?”

“That’d be ridiculous, of course not!”

“I thought I could…”

“No, I was rushing you. I should’ve gone slow, it’s my fault,”

“Fuck, Harry, no it’s not. I’m the one stopping us from moving forward and,”

“Niall!” Harry practically yelled, pulling them apart so that they were forced to look each other in the eye, “I’m not mad, shut up! I can wait until you’re ready, I swear. I’ve had sex before, I get it, it’s pretty great. But it’s not gonna be fun if you’re not ready for it, okay? I need you to want it too,”

“I want it, Haz, it’s just that I… _can’t_. Yet,”

“I understand,” Harry whispered back, “It’s fine,”

There were a few moments of silence as what looked like tears started to glisten in Niall’s eyes, and Harry was worried that Niall didn’t believe him.

“Can we go to sleep?” Niall asked.

“Of course,” Harry responded, pressing another quick kiss to his forehead before reaching over him to shut the laptop.

They fell asleep on their stomachs, no longer curled into each other but rather lying side by side, hands still interlocked. Their faces were close and Niall did end up falling asleep, rather quickly Harry noticed. And he could feel Niall’s warm breath on his neck and feel his muscles relax as sleep finally overtook him, taking him off to a worry-free dreamland. Harry wondered what Niall dreamed about, be it baseball or food or Boston. And deep down, he hoped Niall dreamed of him.

**

Harry woke up to Gemma barging through the front door, it was ten already. He looked over the other side of bed and saw it empty, the comforter still pushed back. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to chase all the sleep out of them but keep the memories from last night in. As he looked over again to where Niall had been just hours before, he saw one of his notebooks open to a page and scribbled on.

_Hey, Curly_

_Had to go now because I need to shower n stuff before the game._

_Thanks for last night, I would’ve woken you up to say goodbye but you_

_looked so cute with your lips pressed together in a little smile and I couldn’t_

_interrupt it. I’ll see you later tonight anyways. Drop by the same room at the_

_same time as always. Bring your cute ass and your biggest smile because_

_it’s our last home game for a few days. Kisses._

 

_Love, Ni_

_P.S. I stole a shirt. Hope you don’t mind. I’ll return it._

_P.P.S. You snore when you sleep. Annoying yet cute._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Harry was used to wallowing in loneliness and self-pity. He had done a great job of it after his breakup, and after coming out to his dad, and after moving to Michigan, and before making his move on Niall, so he sure as hell was not going to let his misery streak down after making his move on Niall. If left to his own devices he could lay around in bed all day and feel sorry for himself, but Harry had some pretty great friends who wouldn’t let that happen."

Harry thought away days without Niall were boring before, but he had forgotten to prepare himself for the first night in a week where he couldn’t kiss Niall goodbye. He thought it shouldn’t annoy him as much as it did because Niall would return before he knew it and then they’d get to be all lovey-dovey and crap with each other. Until then, though, he felt this peculiar pit in his stomach that lingered with whatever he did. He wasn’t going to cry, no, because he wasn’t sad. It was more of a collection of little things that left him feeling empty. It didn’t help that Harry couldn’t tell _why_ he missed Niall so much.

The obvious answer was that he was gone, of course, but it was also that they never really spent that much time together anyways. The most alone time they got was what they could manage in the utility closets at games. That was literally it. Harry felt that his hollow feeling was a result of the realization that he couldn’t have a normal relationship with Niall. He had somehow been avoiding this fact for the past week but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it up. All he knew was that cocooning himself in his comforter and listening to a madly depressing playlist consisting of only Bon Iver was keeping his mind off of the empty for the time being.

He was used to wallowing in loneliness and self-pity. He had done a great job of it after his breakup, and after coming out to his dad, and after moving to Michigan, and before making his move on Niall, so he sure as hell was not going to let his misery streak down _after_ making his move on Niall. If left to his own devices he could lay around in bed all day and feel sorry for himself, but Harry had some pretty great friends who wouldn’t let that happen. Zayn was working but Liam and Louis dropped by around breakfast and let themselves in when Harry wouldn’t answer their calls.

“Wake up, loser!” Louis shouted as he barged into the room. Harry had been awake for maybe an hour or so but he wasn’t quite up to moving. He just groaned.

“Oh my God, you’re so annoying when you get like this. Get out of bed!” Louis demanded, smacking Harry’s ass through the comforter.

Liam was still standing by the bedroom door, arms folded. “Come on, let up on the kid,”

“No, Lou’s right,” Harry moaned into the pillow. Louis did a silent cheer, “I’m moping,”

“Great, the first step is acceptance. Now the second step is getting the hell up and coming with us,” Louis demanded, grabbing hold of Harry’s arm and trying to drag him out of the bed.

It’s just that Louis was small and Harry was big. The tug-of-war was not very heated as even with the little resistance he was putting forth, Harry was able to hold his ground.

“You little shit why won’t you get up!” Louis was exasperatedly yelling, “Liam, come help me,”

Liam’s arm flew up as he backed away.

“Where are we going?” Harry whined into his pillow.

Louis finally relented and let Harry’s arm fall to the mattress with a soft thud, “Nowhere!” he screamed, “Our plan was to just let you sit in your living room all afternoon! We just didn’t want you to do it alone…”

“He’s not lying,” Liam said from the doorway.

Harry sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“So all we’re gonna do is laze around my house, eat whatever we want, and _not_ go distract me with some ridiculous idea that’ll probably result in me being drunk and/or high,”

“For once, young Harold, no. I haven’t got the energy and I didn’t think you’d be up for it anyways,”

“Fine,” he mumbled, uncovering himself and finally getting out of the bed.

“Shit,” said Louis, “Forgot you sleep in the nude,”

**

Liam busied himself making them lunch while Louis and Harry sat down on the sofa. He had his phone in hand because Carl would not stop texting him, and it made Harry feel bad. He didn’t really know how to bring Niall up because he and Carl weren’t really a thing. They had no plan to meet up in the future, they weren’t talking about their feelings for one another, and what would he tell Carl anyways? “Hey I like this kid and we made out and now we’re getting closer to fucking, it’s pretty great. How’re you?” So Harry kept quiet and continued on with his genialities, talking about the weather and his job and his up-coming wisdom teeth removal.  

Louis flicked through the channels barely able to look at what was on each one. “So, how’s the Niall thing going?” Louis asked like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Uh, we’re good. Besides _this_ ,” he emphasized with his hands, “Obviously,”

“Is it really hard?”

“What the fuck, Lou!” Liam screamed from the kitchen.

“Jesus Christ, asshole. I was obviously talking about how Niall’s busy,” Louis yelled back, but the smirk across his face showed that the double entendre wasn’t so innocent.

“Nah, I mean I’m really bad at handling it but that’s just because Niall’s been extra busy today and he hasn’t been able to text me really. So I’ve been coping poorly, it’s whatever,”

“We’re always here, you know that, right? Like, don’t think that just because I constantly poke fun at you two that you can’t come to me for advice. I’ve got a serious face too,” Louis added, pulling a very psychotic looking stare out.

“I know, okay! I’m just dumb and my bed was warm,”

“And me too!” Liam yelled from by the stove, “I’ve dealt with enough heartache in my life to be able to help any man out of the roughest spot,”

Harry laughed so hard that he tried to cover it with his hands, but he was unsuccessful.

“Yes, our dear Liam hasn’t had a lot of luck with the ladies here in Braxton, but Danielle seems to like him enough. You should hear the things he says to her over the phone…”

“Lou, what the fuck? You weren’t asleep?” Liam screamed again, his voice getting more frantic.

Harry was rolling on the sofa now, unable to take in how stupid his friends were. Louis continued skipping through the channels and he was totally clueless on what his friend was actually looking for on the television, but he didn’t really care because Louis could make anything fun.

“You know,” Louis whispered, leaning closer to Harry so Liam couldn’t hear, “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but-”

“Then don’t,”

“No, you’ll want to know. Niall knows you get like this, okay? He tells me and Zayn this stuff all the time, but I doubt he’ll tell you. It’s just that, he knows that it’s hard because he’s dealing with it, too, but he loves baseball too much. He knows that he could never stop,”

“And I’d never expect him to,”

“Exactly. But… he just wishes you saw why he loves it so. He always jokes that you know nothing about baseball, but I think he worries that you don’t get why he has his priorities in the order they are. I think he’s worried that he’ll lose you because you don’t get a lot of time together and you don’t really understand that other half of him,” Louis explained.

Harry was too enveloped in the conversation to notice what Louis had finally stopped on, only looking up when he heard someone mention baseball.

“Fuck, I forgot,”

Harry hadn’t really forgotten, he just didn’t think he was gonna watch Niall play in the All-Star game. Actually, he didn’t even knowit was televised.

“How much have you actually watched him play?” Liam asked, finally returning to the room with pieces of pizza for everyone.

“Not enough,”

**

Gemma and Harry had planned an overnight trip into Chicago earlier that summer. She wanted to meet up with a friend and he wanted to check out Northwestern before he moved down in September. They slept on the floor of Gemma’s friend’s apartment and ate cheap Chinese food and wandered the school’s campus when it was maybe too dark out, but they decided not to care. Gemma was set to graduate that upcoming spring and she felt it was her duty to pass on the ways of college upperclassmen onto her woefully ignorant little brother. The two hadn’t really spent a lot of time together since Harry had moved to Michigan, and before that they rarely saw each other at all. They were lucky if they spent a few days together a year.

“So who’s Rudy?” Harry asked as they started to return home.

“Ah, he’s just this guy from work. Found out he goes to Albion with me and we started hanging out and stuff. He’s pretty hot so we made out a bunch and now we go out to movies or something,” she explained.

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?”

“I didn’t like hide him, little bro. And it’s not like you and I really have many conversations anyways,”

“How long have you been going out?”

“Ah… two months on the 26th?”

“Jesus Christ!”

“Don’t yell in my car, young man! Besides, we didn’t really know what it was at first. It’s not like you can put labels on relationships as soon as they start,”

Harry stared out the window with a knot in his stomach as he suddenly felt really bad for not telling his family about Niall.

“What about you, you got any love interests going on?” she asked.

Right at that moment they passed a sign that pointed in the direction of South Bend. Harry knew Niall was there that night, already prepping for the game ahead. He got the sudden urge to fix everything in his life. He wanted Gemma to know about Niall and he wanted to be more interested in Niall’s career and he wanted to spend more time with Niall. And at that moment, with his brain rushing at a thousand miles a minute with no sign of slowing he said the only thing that made sense to him.

“Hey, the Wrenches are playing in South Bend tonight,”

“Way to deflect the question,”

“We should go see them play,”

Gemma turned to look at him with a face that could only be described as… well it couldn’t really be described. It was like confusion and weariness and disgust all rolled into one.

“You have a day off and you want to go see that shitty team play?”

“Why not?”

“Why not? It’s late and it’s almost an hour out of our way,”

“I’ll pay and it’ll be a nice way for us to bond,” he said.

“Will you pay for the extra gas too?”

“Of course,”

So they ended up in South Bend because Harry was rather persuasive, and maybe Gemma did genuinely want to spend a bit more time with her little brother. They bought hot dogs (both thankful they didn’t have to make them themselves) and sat down right near first base. Harry had texted Niall telling him he was there, but the team usually put their phones away a good amount of time before the games so he couldn’t be sure the message got through.

Gemma was telling some story about her job, how one of her customers was a royal ass or something, when the team took their places in the field. Butterflies flew in Harry’s stomach as he saw Niall in his uniform again. Just like the first time Niall looked so much stronger and hotter in his it. When he threw the ball the muscles in his back bulged out and his hair was just peeking out of the back of his cap. Harry still got that same feeling, that indescribable desire to sink his teeth into Niall’s shoulder. The only difference was that now he actually got to do that.

“So this guy isn’t screaming anymore and my manager comes over…” Gemma was saying.

“Gem, can I stop for you a sec?” Harry asked, interrupting her. It was rude, he’d admit it, but he just found the courage within him to finally tell her.

“What’s so important that my story has to stop?”

“See number one down there, on first base,” he said, pointing out Niall who was focused on the batter.

“Yeah, he’s that Niall kid. That star player or whatever,”

“Yeah… he’s also kinda, like, my… well not a boyfriend I guess. But we make out a lot and I can’t stop thinking about him and we text each other cute things so in a way he is but not really,”

Gemma nearly dropped her nachos, “ _What_?” she yelled.

“About a week ago or so ago we made out a party and we’ve been making out a lot since then and we both really like each other, so yeah,”

“Harry Styles why have you not told me!”

“We’ve already gone over our inability to communicate!”

“But… this is different. I’m your big sister, I’m supposed to help you with shit like this!”

“That’s what my friends are for, doofus,”

“Does mom know?” she practically screamed.

“Okay, number one, please keep your voice down. He doesn’t want a lot of people to know. And number two, not yet. I mean I only just now got the nerve to tell you,”

“Is he good? Is he a good kisser?” she asked, nudging him with her elbow and letting a smirk spread across her face.

“Jesus,”

“Answer me, asshole. You interrupted my story, now make it juicy,”

“Fine, he like really knows what he’s doing, okay? He’s really adventurous with his mouth but his touches are soft and gentle, and he really knows where to touch…”

“Okay, I didn’t need to know that,”

“Shut up! We haven’t done that yet!”

“So that’s who you were, apparently, not-fucking the other night,”

“Yes, we were not-fucking then,”

“Wait, he’s gone like all the time. How does that work?”

“Well, we do what we can on home game days. We text each other really stupid pictures on away game days. Any off days we get, not that we’ve gotten them yet, are reserved for the nice stuff, I guess? I don’t know, this is very new for us,”

“So like, are you boyfriends?”

“I don’t know, Gem. We haven’t even been doing anything for that long. Definitely not long enough for a name,”

Gemma just sat there quietly, looking over at him with a satisfied smile on her face that looked more loving than cocky.

“So Michigan’s not that bad?” she asked.

“Not really,”

They continued to watch the game and Niall made a few great catches and hits, but he seemed to not have gotten the text as he never scanned the crowds for them. Gemma finally continued with her story and Harry actually started listening, for once. They bought an ice cream to share and they made sure to tip the people at concessions because if anyone knew how much that job sucked it was them. The sun set and the game continued under the lights. Harry just sat at his spot, being the one to support and backup Niall as he pursued his dreams, looking him over with hearts in his eyes.

“Wait, Haz, what the fuck is your boyfriend doing?” Gemma asked, hitting him on the arm.

Sure enough, Niall was… adjusting himself you could say. In front of hundreds of people. Including children.

“Yeah, that’s Niall for ya,” he replied.

**

Harry’s eyes fluttered open and he was vaguely aware that a lady was standing next to him. Through the door he saw a teenager being led into a room similar to the one he was currently seated in, and all he wanted to do was scream out at the other boy.

“Don’t let them do it!” he yelled in his mind, “You don’t want to do it, don’t! You don’t have to!”

But his mouth was full of something and his tongue was heavy and slow so no words actually made their way out. He tried to raise his hand to get the attention of the lady next to him but that didn’t work either as no matter what he did his arm wouldn’t move. His eyes started blinking back sleep and he didn’t remember getting tired again, but then his eyelids were heavy and they were just another body part he couldn’t control.

**

He woke up again but this time his mom was standing by him so he felt less like yelling at people. She and another lady, the one from before actually, hoisted him out of his chair and his legs felt weird but they moved just fine. The three of them shuffled awkwardly out of the office and into his mom’s parked car. He saw two birds chasing each other in the sky overhead and he couldn’t help but notice that they were really beautifully blue, kinda like Niall’s eyes. The lady, the one not his mom, redirected his focus as he started to stumble around.

In the car he felt safe and warm in the confines of his seatbelt and in the direct light of the sun. His mom leaned over and pushed the curls out of his face, giving him a small peck on the cheek that left him reeling.

“Ooh, I’m sorry, Haz,” she murmured, caressing the spot she had hit, “How’s your mouth?”

For the first time he remembered why he was in that office, and he felt the dull pain shooting from the empty gums in the back of his mouth. He usually thought of himself as having a good pain tolerance, but then he started crying so…

“Oh, honey, it’s the anesthesia. It just makes you cry. Come on, little bug, I’ll get you home and then I’ll make you all better,”

Harry was in a fog the entire way home but it didn’t shut him up. He was vaguely aware that he was talking but not a lot of thought was going into the words. Little flashes of his mom’s face made their way into his mind. She went from looking concerned to looking confused to looking proud and he wasn’t quite sure what he was saying but all he knew was that his stomach warmed every time she touched his arm, trying to calm him down.

Back in the apartment his mom laid him down on the sofa and left to go get some lunch, warning him not to go to sleep so that the anesthesia could wear off.

“Fuck that,” he thought, closing his eyes and doing it nonetheless.

He spent the rest of the day like this: disobeying his mother and falling asleep, eating soft foods that hurt his mouth anyways, crying when changing the gauze at the back of his mouth, texting people on his phone (he really wasn’t sure how coherent it was), and watching a full season of Dance Moms on marathon. He wasn’t really sure how that last one happened, but he wasn’t fighting it.

Eventually his mom needed her bed back to go to sleep before work the next day, so he slumped off to the shower. The cool water felt good running down his back after a hot day sweating on the couch, and it didn’t feel bad on his swollen cheeks either. His bed felt warm and welcome as he lay there naked and still wet from his shower, but he didn’t feel like moving really so he didn’t. Sleep wasn’t coming easily, even after the dose of Oxycodone, and maybe his mom was right about not sleeping earlier.

It’s just that his room was dark and quiet, finally peaceful rather than the chaos of getting teeth ripped out of your jaw. His mind was spinning as the medications started to kick in. There were so many things to think about and so many emotions to feel. Harry didn’t know how he did this all the time: balancing Florida friends and Michigan friends, balancing his feelings for Carl and Niall, balancing his present and his future, the past mixed up somewhere else. He usually thought of himself as a rather clumsy person, never quite getting the right footing. As his mind ran wild he suddenly crashed into a wall of drowsy and enveloped himself in his pillow before drifting into dreamland.

**

Harry woke to the sun beating down on his face. He tried to roll over to the other side of the bed but bumped into something along the way.

“Woah-oh, Curly! Hold your horses!” Niall yelled, taking Harry by surprise.

“Ni, what are you doing?” Harry asked sleepily, finally opening his eyes and seeing that Niall was sitting up on the bed next to him reading a magazine.

“Your mom called, had to go to work and was worried that you hadn’t woken up yet so I’m here to babysit you until she gets home again,”

Harry looked at him with a very confused look on his face, “How did she get your number?”

“I don’t know,” Niall said, scrunching his eyebrows, “But now you’re awake so I get to do this,”

Niall threw the magazine out of his hands and lay back down on the bed, taking Harry’s chin in hand and kissing him. It was just like Harry had remembered: warm, comforting, soft. But there was also a pain radiating from his back gums that told him that maybe kissing wasn’t the best right now.

“Ow, mother fucker” he said, pulling away.

“Shit, did my braces catch you or something?” Niall asked.

“No, unfortunately it’s my own dental problems this time. My mouth’s on fire, actually,”

“Oh, right. Where are your meds?”

“The Advil’s in the bathroom, behind the mirror,”

“Don’t you have something stronger, Oxycodone maybe?”

“Yeah but when I take that I get loopy and sleepy and I want to make sure I’m coherent so I can spend time with you,”

Harry was sure he saw an endeared smirk on Niall’s face as he left to go to the bathroom. He rolled over to look at the time on the clock and _holy shit it was already noon?_ He had been asleep for at least twelve hours, possibly even more. Maybe that anesthesia was really fucking with him.

Niall reentered the room with a bottle of Advil and a glass of water. Harry shoved four tablets down his throat and looked over to see Niall smirking back at him.

“How long have you been here, Ni?” Harry asked.

“Ah, I don’t know. What time does your mom usually leave for work?”

“Eight,”

“Yeah, then,”

“What the hell did you do by yourself for four hours?”

“Well, let’s see. I helped myself to a bowl of cheerios from your kitchen (by the way, did you know you don’t have any HoHo’s?), then I came back here and did a few sit-ups on the floor (quickly got bored of that), and then I took a nap next to you for like half an hour but you out-slept me. Then I rifled through your magazines and I’ve been reading them and maybe a few times I _accidentally_ poked you hoping that you’d wake up,”

“Well I’m awake now, so what are you going to do about it?” Harry asked, lazily looking up at Niall in a way he hoped came off as more bedroom eyes and less deranged.

“Your mouth still hurt?”

“Yeah, but there’s a whole lot of me that doesn’t,”

Niall grinned and sank down, covering Harry’s chest with passionate kisses, but it was a little awkward because Harry was beneath the sheets and Niall wasn’t. So as soon as Harry could catch a break he tried to drag Niall under. He just so happened to forget that he wasn’t wearing anything. Catching sight of Harry’s lack of clothes, Niall just cracked up.

“Shit, sorry,” Harry said, trying to cover himself for some reason, “I can grab some shorts or something to throw on if you want?”

“Nah, that’s okay. I think this will do,” Niall smirked. He climbed on top of Harry so that he was straddling his waist and tucking his feet under Harry’s legs. Harry wasn’t used to Niall being so… controlling, but he certainly was not going to complain.

Niall tucked a hand behind Harry’s neck and used the other to rub down his chest. It was awkward to make out without actually kissing, but apparently if anyone could do it, it was Niall. He took his time, sucking on the dent that stretched out over Harry’s collarbone and nibbling on his earlobe. Niall really wasn’t too heavy, but the pressure pushing down on Harry made him feel at ease.

Harry found himself grabbing onto Niall’s ass because, like, it was _there_ and his hand fit just perfectly on it. He half expected Niall to move away from his hands, but instead he grinded down. This was moving into unforeseen territory real quickly and Harry was ecstatic. He felt himself growing hard as the friction of Niall’s shorts caught on him, and he was hoping Niall would notice and maybe be happy about it. Once he figured it out, a grin broke across Niall’s face and he pulled himself off of Harry’s chest.

“Do you need some help with that?” Niall asked.

“Huh?” was all Harry was able to spurt out as he _reall_ y did not think his day would turn out like this.

Niall just walked his fingers down Harry’s body until they reached the base of his cock, and he just smiled.

“I mean… if you want,” Harry found himself saying, not really understanding why he wasn’t taking a more direct role.

“No, Curly. You have to want it too,” Niall said, planting a sloppy kiss to his forehead.

“Ni, please don’t think I’m lying when I say I want this more than anything in the world,”

Niall’s smile grew impossibly bigger at those words, and Harry wouldn’t describe it as cocky. No, it was more pleased.

Harry grabbed some lotion off of the side table and handed it down to Niall, who swatted it away.

“No, I don’t want to do that,” Niall said before pressing sloppy kisses all the way down Harry’s body, lowering himself on the bed with each one. Yeah, Harry got the hint.

“It’s my first time so tell me if I’m doing it wrong,” Niall said before finally dropping down and licking at the head. 

Harry sunk further down into the mattress, gripping at the sheets under his hands. He felt his heart beat faster and his breaths grow shallow as the heat of Niall’s mouth perfectly enclosed him.

It wasn’t the best blowjob he’d ever gotten, and Harry knew that, but it certainly wasn’t bad. The first one he had tried to give Carl ended with a few too many scratches and limbs crashing together. Niall, though inexperienced, at least got the basic idea down pretty well. A few times he had accidentally gagged himself, but he recovered quickly enough so that Harry was barely able to notice. It’s just that… it was so _Niall_. He went into it only vaguely knowing what to do, but he never backed down. Harry could feel the smile and the excitement radiating off of Niall, feel the giggle forming in the back of his throat. And _God_ it just turned him on.

What did it, though, was Niall found a way to just hum right at the tip. A sweet, high song that Harry couldn’t pinpoint but that felt romantic and sensual coming off of Niall’s pink lips. A song made just for him. With that last bit of stimulus Harry tried to give off fair warning, but his voice failed him and the shot was a bit of a surprise. Niall’s throat constricted around Harry as it caught him off guard, but he fought off the reflexes and swallowed hard.

Harry was still trying to return his breathing to normal when Niall crawled next to him, planting gentle kisses into his shoulder. His wisdom teeth be damned, Harry rolled over onto Niall firmly and pressed their bodies together. He rolled his hips and let Niall’s tongue playfully dart around his mouth, but, okay, they actually stopped doing this for a reason.

“Shit, still not on top of my gums game,” Harry murmured, pulling away.

“S’ okay, we can just… I don’t know. Watch TV or something,” Niall offered.

“Nah, not when this is still left unattended to,” Harry replied, his hand creeping down towards Niall’s crotch.

“Ok, yeah. We can do that, too,”

**

After cleaning up a bit, Harry threw on some actual clothes and let Niall make him some Spaghetti-O’s for lunch. Niall had even borrowed a copy of _Tangled_ off of one of his roommates, watching one of his first Disney movies just for Harry’s sake. Harry leaned back onto Niall as the two shared the couch, letting Niall drift his hands through his curls. He sang along to all the songs, making sure to let Niall know that _at last he saw the light_. Niall just called him dumb and pressed little kisses to his forehead, and if he accidentally hummed along to the healing incantation, well that was just a coincidence.

Just as the credits started to roll, someone knocked at the door. Not wanting to get up, and not wanting to move off of Niall, Harry just yelled out, “Who’s there?”

Liam and Louis let themselves in.

“Jesus Christ, you two are like a proper couple, aren’t ya?” Louis moaned.

“What did you expect us to do? Fart in the general direction of each other and sloppily try to shove our tongues down each other’s throats a few times?” Harry asked.

“Well I mean, considering Niall’s involved, yeah,”

Niall threw his head back in laughter and Harry threw a pillow at Louis (he missed), but once Liam brought out the milkshakes they had stopped for, all was forgiven.Louis picked up Harry’s out-stretched legs and placed himself under them while Liam just sat on the floor.

“So, Harold, why didn’t you invite all of us over for this little rendezvous?” Louis asked, taking a sip from his milkshake.

“I… don’t know what you mean, Lou?” he replied.

“All I’m saying is when your mom called ours today to get Niall’s number, it would’ve been nice to ask us to come over too, okay! Just because you guys are doing whatever it is you do doesn’t mean-”

“Woah, is that how she got my number!” Niall yelled.

“What, like you two didn’t plan this date?” Liam asked.

“No!” Niall yelled, “His mom called me at like 7:30 this morning and I was surprised as hell,”

“Yeah, and I really didn’t expect Niall to be lying next to me when I woke up this… afternoon,” Harry added.

Louis’s grin grew wider, “Haz, did your mom just set you up on a date?”

**

Niall had to leave early to do dinner and workout with his team, but not before asking to borrow Harry’s socks that he had put on when he arrived. With a few more kisses, that led Louis to pretending to throw up, he left. They all stayed together, watching the newest Transformers movie until Harry’s mom finally got home. Liam and Louis took it as a signal to leave, but not before Louis leaned over and whispered “Oh, look, there’s your matchmaker,” Harry just hit him, finally not missing.

“So, how’d your day go?” his mom asked, unloading groceries.

“Uh, it was fine. Did a lot of lying around. Mouth hurts less now,” he replied.

“That’s good, babe! When did the Payne boys come over?”

“Like an hour and a half ago. Why didn’t you invite them over with Niall? I mean, you had to call up their house just to get his number, you could’ve easily asked them too,”

“Sorry! I just thought you would’ve wanted Niall, is all,”

A large lump was forming in Harry’s throat.

“What… why would you… assume that,” he stammered out, “Wait, have you talked to Gemma?”

“No, darling,” she said, walking out of the kitchen and facing him with a very confused face, “I talked to you. In the car yesterday. Don’t you remember?”

Now Harry remembered. He remembered well.

**

“ _Mom_ ,” Harry nearly slurred, slumped over in the seat of the car, “I feel… so tired,”

“Sit up, Honey,” she requested, “And try not to talk too much. It’ll just make your mouth hurt more,”

“I’m… I’m just going to go to sleep,”

“No! Stay awake! Doctor’s orders,”

“Did you see those birds, mom? They were beautiful. Just beautiful,”

“Those in the tree?” she asked, looking out the window, “Yeah, they’re nice,”

“They’re so blue. Like… _blue_. And they look like Niall’s eyes, like he’s here, Mom,”

“Niall, huh? The kid on the team?”

“Yeah, mom. Niall… Niall is so great. Like… he plays… baseball so good, Mom. The other day he must have jumped, psh, fifteen feet in the air. At least,”

“Oh, I’m sure!”

“And he’s such a good kisser too,” he said, turning to face her. She looked surprised for a bit, but tried to keep a straight face.

“Is he really?”

“Yeah! Yeah yeah yeah! Like… his tongue in my mouth is… it’s like warm. And it just feels good. He’s so good at kissing, mom. He’s really gentle, too. And you can barely even tell he has braces!”

“Hazza, you don’t need to be telling me this if you don’t want,”

“But I _do_ , mom! I do! Because I know you worry about me and about having good friends but Niall’s so good for me. So so good for me. He understands me, like, all of the time. And he’s always so far away but he tries his hardest to be here, he really does. Even when he’s in… Indiana or wherever. If he can tell I’m sad or annoyed or lonely (and he always can) then he’ll send me like, a picture of a squirrel eating an acorn or a piece of popcorn chicken shaped like a heart. It’s so dumb but it makes me laugh every time,”

He looked over at her for her reaction, but she really had nothing to say.

“Niall’s the sun, I’m pretty sure. Legitimately the sun incarnate. He’s so bright and you should just _see_ his smile. If you saw it you’d think so too. When he’s here, in Braxton, with me, whatever, I’m happy. Even if we’re just near each other I’m happy,”

“Has this been going on for long?” she finally was able to ask.

“No, no not long. But it’s been good, even if not long. I feel like I’m meant to be with him, is that stupid?”

“No, not at all,”

“Like, I hated Florida. Hated it. And the only thing I liked and really missed about it was my friends, especially Carl. But it’s not like I really wanted to come to Michigan. I mean, Michigan? Come on mom, that’s the state you chose? So I came here expecting to hate it too, and I _did._ I hated it so much. I liked being here in that you were here and Gemma was here and Dad wasn’t here, but it was boring and Carl wasn’t around and I couldn’t just go to the beach to clear my mind and I was going insane. I didn’t know what to do because I was running out of options and college was so far away. Then, that first night at the stadium I met Louis and Liam and they’re now my best friends. Like, they care so much for me, it’s incredible. And a few days later I met Zayn, and ever since I’ve been able to tell him anything. He’ll listen intently and help me and never judges me for anything. But Niall… he’s special, mom. When I’m around him… I can’t even explain it. When I’m around him everything is better. He laughs at _everything_ and I’m not exaggerating. He makes you feel important, he makes you feel loved. He’s so laidback, too. He doesn’t worry and I worry so much. He balances me out, he fills in my holes,”

Harry looked over and saw his mom beginning to tear up.

“It’s just, Niall made me realize that Michigan wasn’t bad. That I had been thinking that Florida was the only thing for all my life. I stayed there because I couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else because I had… brainwashed myself into thinking that was my only future. I thought I needed Dad to be some sort of horrible role model for me because everyone else was so into their own dads. I thought that I would never make friends anywhere else because why would I? I built those friends for years, they didn’t come naturally we just sort of pieced each other together. Niall drew me in, though. And Liam and Lou and Zayn. They just saw that we were good together and wouldn’t let me go until I thought so too,”

“Haz, I didn’t know you felt that way,”

“Don’t worry, mom. Please don’t cry because I’m good now. I have Niall now and he won’t let me be sad anymore,”

**

“Jesus Christ,” Harry thought, “That was not the way I really wanted to let my mom know,”

“I thought you were awake, like aware?” she said.

“I mean, I was. I remember talking to you but not really what I said, at least not until now,”

“Oh Harry, if I had known that I wouldn’t have invited Niall over. I thought you knew I knew!”

“It’s okay,” he said, a smile across his face, “I had fun today,”

“You’re so right, though. He’s so good for you,” she started, “I woke him at 7:30 this morning and I could tell because his voice was groggy and I could hear his sheets rustling, but as soon I asked if he could come stay with you his voice perked up and he came over straight away. When he got here he asked what you were allowed to eat and what your medications were and if there were any rules he was supposed to be following. It just… I knew right then that you were okay in his hands. I trust him with you,”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,”

“It’s okay, really it is. This is still a new thing for all of us, but you need to know that I’m obviously okay with this. More than okay. I wholeheartedly approve of him and I honestly couldn’t be happier that you found him. Just one thing,”

“Yeah?”

“Why on _Earth_ , young man, did you tell your sister before me?”

He just smiled and his mother pulled him in, smothering him in the love he had been avoiding since arriving in Michigan those months before. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He always felt like he didn’t know a lot about his sister, like what her favorite color was or what she wanted for her birthday or sometimes even who she was dating. But Harry did know, at that very moment, that she really cared for him. And she was always listening.
> 
> (Or the one where Harry has to learn how to not be a coward)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol this chapter's so long. I'm sorry.

“I miss you… we should set up a Skype date… my passenger seat looks lonely without you… your new profile picture on Facebook is hot… it’s been over a month since we last saw each other… why won’t you call me back,” Harry read, blankly staring at his phone. He had looked over these messages a million times, but he knew now that he needed help.

“Jesus Christ, I don’t think he’s getting the hint,” Zayn said. The two were sitting on his balcony before the game, trying to help Harry through his latest Carl-related problem.

“He’s never been this needy before. Even when we were going out, he never texted me stuff like this,”

“You know what I’m going to say right?”

“Yeah, of course,”

“Then why’d you come over?”

“I needed someone to tell me how stupid I was being before I continued to do nothing about the situation,”

“Harry, come on. You have to tell Carl about Niall! I honestly don’t get why you haven’t done it yet? Is there something else going on?”

“No, okay! This isn’t some melodramatic thing where I feel torn between them and I need help deciding which one I’m meant to be with. It’s Niall, it’s always Niall,”

“Then tell me why you can’t just drop a quick text like ‘Hey, I’m good, so’s my boyfriend,’ or like while on Skype just say, ‘By the way, let me tell you about this great kid I’ve got in my life. His name’s Niall and he’s not bad at sucking my dick’”

“Number one, Niall’s not my boyfriend,” Harry started, “And two… it’s just not that simple,”

“Why? Why not! Please, enlighten me!”

“Because if I do that I don’t know if Carl will keep up with me, okay! I’ve been thinking about it a lot, like _a lot_ , and I’m pretty sure ever since we broke up he’s been sure that we’re gonna get back together. That’s the only thing keeping him talking to me, alright? The hope that someday I’m gonna crawl back into his arms and it’ll be like we were never apart. But it’s not! It’s never gonna be like that because even if Niall wasn’t in the picture I don’t think I’d want to get back with him!”

 “Do you really want that as a friend, though? Someone who’s just waiting for you to get tired and give up and take them back?”

“That’s not all he is, Zayn!”

“Please, elaborate,”

“I met Carl when I was 16. My friend, Ed, introduced us. He got me into all my favorite bands like Two Door Cinema Club and Passion Pit. He lit my first blunt. He took me in one night when my dad had come home drunk and started smashing around the house and I got scared. He helped teach me to drive. I’m not exaggerating when I say he’s been an integral part of my life. So towards the beginning of this year, as I was teetering on the edge of adulthood, it was just natural that I caught him staring more. Sometimes our hands brushed together, but we didn’t do anything about it. Not until my eighteenth birthday party where I ended the night with my first ever birthday blowjob and it was the highlight of my year. He was my first blowjob, my first handjob, my first _fuck_. Everything. He taught me everything,”

Harry stopped talking because he didn’t really know what else to say. Those weren’t really reasons why he couldn’t let Carl go, just reasons why he was living in the past. Zayn continued to stare at him.

“Without Carl I’d still be back in Florida hating my dad and hating my circumstances. Carl made me feel comfortable enough to come out, he was the support system I needed during that time. You can’t forget someone like that,”

Zayn scooted over on the sofa so that they were touching, hip to hip, and just gave Harry a hug. He wasn’t really a big hugger, unless it was Niall, but Zayn’s hugs usually meant something. Usually ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry you’re sad’ or ‘There really isn’t anything I can do to help’.

“You don’t have to forget him” Zayn whispered, “but you do have to tell him,”

**

 The next morning Harry woke up early so that he could catch his mom before she left for work.

“Dear God, Harry. You’re up before ten! What do you want?” she inquired.

“Can Niall come over?” he asked, “After work, I mean,”

“Can I trust you two to be respectful and… quiet?”

“What the hell, Mom, we’re not savages,”

She laughed and said “Okay, that’s fine! Niall’s welcome here whenever,” before finally leaving.

Harry moved to return to his room (and his bed because his mom wasn’t joking about getting up before ten) when Gemma grabbed him by the arm and stopped him.

“Hey!” he yelled, “What was that for?” rubbing his forearm like she actually hurt him, though she hadn’t.

“Listen, I’ve been overcome with a very sisterly feeling ever since South Bend and I’ve been itching to do something nice for you,” she started.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, so I’ve called in a few favors and I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere with Niall tomorrow. Like a proper date and all,”

Harry squinted, “What kind of favors?”

“Oh, shut up! I just got Rudy to persuade his brother, Kyle, to keep the restaurant he manages open like an hour later tomorrow so that you two can eat fatty food in peace, alone, away from prying eyes,”

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Is this really a thing I’d lie about? It’s just that when I was talking to you, you seemed actually upset that you couldn’t like… do with things with him. Like go bowling or just go out for some ice cream or something. I knew Kyle managed a restaurant and he owes Rudy a hell of a lot for all the stupid shit he’s done in the past. So would you be up for that or not?”

“Does he know why he’s doing this?”

“I just told him my little bro had a boyfriend and they didn’t like to be seen out in public together, and they just needed like an hour together to eat dinner and make out a bit. Kyle’s like the most apathetic person I know, he won’t care about who Niall is,”

“I mean, I’d have to ask Niall, but I couldn’t imagine him saying no,”

“Great, I’m gonna text Rudy with the go-ahead, but if Niall bails you need to text me ASAP, okay?”

“Wait, where is this place?”

“It’s like 20 miles outside of town, to the south. Called _Mr. Knight’s_. I’ll be home before you have to leave so you can take the Jeep,”

Harry stood looking at his sister like she was the best thing in the world, and at the moment she _was._ He grabbed her and pulled her into a fierce hug. They didn’t really do this, hugging that is. Harry never understood how other siblings could be so touchy-feely, but he and Gemma were always satisfied with a text message and a quick pat on the head if they were feeling extra sentimental. Gemma was small under him as she awkwardly tried to reciprocate the hug. She was at least 5 inches shorter and really thin. He always felt like he didn’t know a lot about his sister, like what her favorite color was or what she wanted for her birthday or sometimes even who she was dating. But Harry did know, at that very moment, that she really cared for him. And she was always listening.

**

“So tonight’s game was early,” Niall said between kisses, his back against the wall and a leg wrapped around Harry’s, “Can I come over?”

With a quick little peck to his nose Harry pulled away.

“Actually, I had a different idea…”

“Oh yeah?” Niall asked, his eyebrows rising.

“Hear me out. Gemma’s boyfriend’s brother is going to keep a diner open late for us for like an hour so that we can eat there in private, like we’re on an actual date,”

Niall looked skeptical as he tried to take the information in.

“She promises he’ll be cool and not want to tell anyone. I honestly doubt he’ll even know who you are. And I’ve been itching to go somewhere with you that isn’t this closet or my bedroom,”

Harry pressed his lips to Niall’s special spot as he considered it. It had to have been persuasive as Niall moaned out a “sounds good,” before long.

**

Harry got Liam and Louis to drive home quickly after their shifts were up. He showered and changed his shirt (one that he considered to be nice, but was really just a normal navy polo that didn’t have any stains) and applied copious amounts of aftershave that made Gemma cough.

“Jesus Christ, Haz, _Mr. Knight’s_ is just a diner. No need to go into overkill,” she laughed.

“Easy for you to say. You see Rudy nearly every other night, tonight has to be special for me,”

“Oh, I think he looks fine,” his mom said, running a hand through his hair and kissing him on the nose. He bashfully brushed it off.

“So when are you picking Prince Charming up?” Gemma asked.

“I have to leave soon, actually. I’m picking _Niall_ up at the stadium and we’re just gonna drive on from there. Printed out directions and everything,”

“Aw,” sung his mom, “Almost makes me want to take a picture,”

“Yeah, I’m leaving now,” Harry said as he grabbed the keys off the hook by the door and shoved his wallet in his pocket.

“Wait!” she yelled before he could get out the door, “Layer up a bit, the temperature’s dropping,”

Harry sighed and pulled on a grey sweatshirt and his orange beanie before getting into the Jeep and driving off. He picked up Niall in the stadium parking lot, resisting the urge to kiss him lest anyone be straggling around after hours (why in the world they would do that he did not know). As soon as they pulled onto the highway, though, Harry set the cruise control and Niall took his hand in his own. Harry had to admit that Niall looked pretty good considering he had just played his heart out for three hours. He had obviously washed his hair, but had left out styling it in favor of just letting it lay flat and wet against his forehead.  He was also wearing a button-down, blue flannel, which surprised Harry as he had barely ever seen him out of tank tops.

“So, tell me about this place,” Niall said sleepily as he lay back into the seat.

“Uh, I don’t have much to say except that my sister told me the food’s not half bad and Kyle will be cleaning up the place so he won’t really be bothering us,

“So we can sit there and eat our food and play footsie under the table and no one will care?” Niall asked, his eyes hopeful.

“That’s the plan,”

Harry continued down the empty highway until he hit a small town that he had never bothered to notice. A bit off the exit was a small, brick building with a red roof and a large sign overhead that read “ _Mr. Knight’s_ ” in neon red. Niall had fallen asleep in the last five minutes of the ride, Harry couldn’t blame him, so he leaned over and gently nudged Niall into awareness with his nose. Niall slowly woke up with a flutter of his eyelids, and then letting a moan escape his lips as he stretched in the confines of the car. Harry just fondly looked on as he had never actually seen Niall wake up before. Never seen him in those vulnerable moments between sleep and full consciousness. Once awake, Niall returned the affectionate look and leaned over to kiss Harry, molding their smiles together. They only pulled apart when Harry saw someone standing next to his window.

Harry also found out that his screams are very shrill when they echo off of the Jeep walls.

“Jesus Christ, who the fuck is that!” Niall yelled with him.

The figure merely tapped on the window with his knuckle, urging Harry to roll it down. Against all his better judgment he did so, with Niall tightly clinging onto his arm.

“You Harry?” the guy asked, a lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth.

“Yeah…”

“Get the hell inside, I’ve got a diner to clean up,”

Harry and Niall chuckled as they got out of the car, following (apparently) Kyle into the restaurant. They sat at a large booth in the back, side-by-side instead of across from each other, and Kyle placed two menus in front of them. Well, if you could call them that. They were actually two napkins with “menu” written on the top with only two items listed underneath: macaroni & cheese and chicken tenders with fries.

“These are our specials,” Kyle said with a flourish towards the napkins, “They are also the only things we have to offer right now, and you can’t order the same thing because I was only able to get the chef to make these two dishes before he left for the night. Can I start you out with a drink?”

“Chocolate milk?” Niall asked, Kyle pretended to write it down on a notepad.

“Orange juice,”

He left to get their beverages as they giggled to themselves in the booth.

“So, Harold, what are you considering getting?” Niall asked, intensely studying the napkin in front of him.

“I don’t know, it’s a tough choice. Y’know I really hate when restaurants have too many options like this. How can they possibly manage to keep up enough fresh ingredients in the kitchen? Something has to be frozen,”

“My thoughts exactly, dear. We shan’t be able to trust anything”

Kyle returned with the glasses and set them down, asking for their orders.

“I think I’ll go with the chicken, if that’s alright with you, Ni?” Harry said. Kyle just laughed.

“Wait, what’s so funny?” he asked.

“Nothing…” Kyle replied, “It’s just that when your sister was recommending food to serve she said you’d pick the chicken,”

“Did she pick the mac and cheese for me?” Niall asked.

“Nah, she just said that you’d eat whatever I put in front of you,”

Harry laughed and poked Niall’s tummy as Kyle turned around and went back to the kitchen, and Harry swore he could hear him mutter ‘children’ under his breath. Niall wasn’t listening though, as he was too preoccupied with laying into Harry’s neck. The feeling of Niall’s teeth against him sent a shiver down Harry’s spine. Fingers moving languidly over his stomach and Niall curled around him.

“You know,” Niall whispered, “If this were a real date we wouldn’t be able to do this. People don’t really make out in diners,”

“Good thing we never do anything normally,” Harry said as he closed the gap between their two mouths again.

Harry liked the way Niall’s hands moved without much thought. Just drifting over his body to wherever they wanted to go. Sometimes saying “let me hold you” and sometimes saying “you’re beautiful” and sometimes saying “I miss you”. One of Niall’s hands was cupped around Harry’s jaw and the other half-way down his pants when Kyle reemerged with the food.

“Jesus Christ,” he said, startling them, “When I left I could’ve sworn you were third graders and now we’re six seconds away from someone getting their dick out. And those are two images I don’t want crossed in my mind, thank you very much,”

Niall snickered but quickly dug into his food. Harry’s chicken wasn’t bad, but he could tell it had been microwaved as Kyle waited for them to arrive. Not bad, but nothing too special. The make-out session had been much better. He ignored his food, instead favoring to stare at Niall eating his.

“I’m not gonna give you any, don’t even try,” Niall remarked, shoveling more into his mouth.

Harry stifled a laugh and just curled himself around Niall, tucking his head into Niall’s shoulder.

“You know,” Harry started, “you’re the only person who never lets me eat their food,”

“I’m enough of a pushover as is. I need to draw lines somewhere,”

Harry started to press his lips into Niall’s shoulder, biting the thin flannel and pulling it away.

“Why’re you always trying to distract me, huh?” Niall asked, “Don’t you want to eat your own food?”

“’M not hungry. Like you more,” Harry mumbled.

Niall sighed and continued to eat. Harry had resigned himself to the fact that, if he was more than marginally hungry, it was pretty much useless to try and get Niall to stop eating. He didn’t really care; Niall was starving and had just played a very tiring game of baseball so he was allowed to eat what he wanted. But Harry also knew he had waited a long time to get his hands on Niall so it was more than reasonable that he didn’t stop.

The bowl of macaroni was quite large so it didn’t surprise Harry that it was taking him so long to finish it. He didn’t mind because Niall’s hand was resting on his leg and was rubbing circles in his thigh and it felt rather amazing. Harry liked how they could be like this. How they could sit in near-silence and not feel awkward.

Niall nudged Harry’s head with his shoulder, prompting a muffled whine from him.

“Want some?” Niall asked, shoving a forkful of macaroni into Harry’s face.

“Y’sure?” he asked.

“Don’t want you to go hungry. Was your idea, anyways,”

**

Niall finally finished the macaroni and cheese (and half of Harry’s fries, and most of Harry’s chicken, and a slice of pie from the back) and went to go wait in the car while Harry went into the back of the restaurant.

“What do you want now?” Kyle nearly screamed as Harry came into his field of vision.

“I’m just trying to pay!” he responded.

“Don’t worry about it,”

“Wait, why?”

“Your sister’s covering everything,”

“Do you need, like, a tip?”

“Seriously, go enjoy the rest of your night with that blond kid. Gem’s got it,”

So Harry left, rather confused, to find Niall waiting in his car and shivering.

“What’s wrong with you?” Harry asked.

“I’m fucking cold! End of July and in the 50’s. Horrible,” Niall replied.

“Want my sweatshirt?”

“Nah, then you’ll just get cold,”

Harry sat and thought for a second because Niall was (a little ridiculously) cold, but he wasn’t going to turn his heat on in July for God’s sake. Instead, he pulled the beanie off his head and put it on Niall’s.

“What’s this supposed to do?” Niall asked.

“Keep you warm, duh!”

“I’ve got my hair for that, thanks,”

“Yeah, but at least you’ll freeze to death and look really cute,”

And Harry leaned over to press a kiss to Niall’s nose, then put the car in reverse.

**

Harry woke up and stretched his arm out beside him, trying to feel out Niall’s shape. He was annoyed when the bed was empty because he had told Niall to wake him up before leaving.

“Still here,” Niall said, nudging Harry over with his hip and sitting down on the bed next to him.

“You leaving? It’s only eight,” Harry was able to say.

“Yeah, Haz, some people have to wake up before noon… unfortunately,”

Harry looped an arm around Niall’s waist, trying to drag him further back onto the bed, but Niall was able to put up enough resistance to continue to put on his shoes without too much trouble. He had all but given up when Harry felt Niall squeeze himself onto the bed next to him.

“I’m sorry I have to leave. I’m sorry I have to keep leaving,” he said.

“I understand. You have to know that, right?” Harry responded.

Niall moved and pressed his face into the crook of Harry’s neck.

“Yeah,”

After a few moments he got up and grabbed his bag of stuff off the floor, leaving the room with a kiss to Harry’s forehead. But not before grabbing the orange beanie off the dresser.

“Hey! I didn’t say you could keep that!” Harry yelled out. Niall just continued out the door with his prize.

**

A week later Harry sat on the couch with an icepack over his abdomen. Nothing really exciting was on the television, and there was certainly nothing entertaining enough to distract from the welt on his side. Zayn had told him (no, _promised_ him) that paintball hits barely hurt at all. Zayn was a fucking liar.

There was still a spot of purple in his hair and the orange under his fingernails couldn’t be scraped away. Before he always had wondered why people liked that activity so much, but now that he had actually done it? He was even more confused. His body ached from all the times he had been shot and his feet were sore from all the movement. He swore that every little creak from the apartment was someone coming up from behind to try and shoot him. It didn’t help that Louis and Zayn had tag-teamed against him and Liam. They were cunning bastards with devious plans and quiet feet. It also didn’t help that Liam ran faster.

Harry had spent nearly the entire day like this, reclined on the sofa watching daytime soaps with one hand in a bag of Doritos and the other scratching idly at his bare stomach. This was all a diversion. Merely filler for the time before his mother would come home with Chipotle for dinner. He hadn’t really been talking to anyone - Niall was getting ready for his game, he was mad at Louis and Zayn, and Liam had a doctor’s appointment – so it was a surprise when his phone randomly buzzed.

He picked it up, saw it was from Carl (of course it was) and went to put it down again, but his eyes caught the message and he was intrigued.

“Flack: Knock knock :)”

“…who’s there?”

Carl always texted really stupid shit. Once he had sent Harry a synopsis of _Titanic_ using only emoji. It took 20 minutes and four separate messages. He was no stranger to jokes either. That’s how they had initially bonded, actually, over their mutual love of puns. Within a few seconds, Carl texted back.

“Flack: I don’t know, open up the door and see ;)”

Harry stopped chewing. The hand on his stomach cramped up. All the gravity around him multiplied. His toes curled. His hearing muffled. Surely… _surely_ Carl could not be that dumb. His sweet, sweet Carl who graduated from UCF with distinction. That Carl would never show up to his ex-boyfriend’s house, eight hundred miles away, unannounced except for a quick text in the form of a knock-knock joke.

Harry gingerly brought himself off the couch, thanking his lucky stars he put on shorts for once, and looked through the peephole. He nearly threw up.

“Hazza!” Carl cried out once Harry opened the door, enveloping him in a hug. Harry didn’t have the strength, or the mental capacity, to return it.

“Surprised?” he yelled.

“I… where’s your car?” Harry asked.

“Didn’t need it! Bought the plane tickets two hours before takeoff and now I’m here!”

Harry was very aware that he was blinking a lot.

“Oh my God, I’ve left you speechless. Precious Harold Edward gone dumbstruck because of lil ol’ me? Well bless my stars!”

He hadn’t heard the southern belle accent in months.

Harry ushered Carl inside quickly, grabbing at the duffle on the pavement and getting it inside. He didn’t know who he was hiding from, really. Niall was a hundred miles away and none of his other friends would be turning up. But of course, Carl wasn’t supposed to turn up and look where he was. Carl excused himself to the bathroom (because he wasn’t gonna dare gonna use one in the airport) so Harry snuck out to the patio outside his front door to make a call.

“Heh, knew you couldn’t stay mad at us. When you comin’ over Louis’s?” Zayn asked.

“Shut the fuck up. Carl is currently here and Carl is currently using my bathroom and Carl is _not_ currently in Florida, which is where HE SHOULD BE,” Harry was nearly shouting. The anxiety was building inside of him at such a rapid pace that he thought he might cry.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“ _Why would I lie about this?_ ” Harry whisper-screamed because he had no clue when Carl would return from the toilet.

“Holy shit, why is he there?”

“I don’t know? _I don’t know_!” Harry replied, his voice growing frantic, “He literally showed up on my doorstep and sent me a text to let me know it. I’m freaking the fuck out, man,”

“So you really haven’t told him about Niall yet?”

“I’m gonna be sick,”

“Okay, calm down. What you need to do is march right in there, look him in the eye, say ‘Niall Horan is the only man for me, yessiree,’ and then just wait for him to be understanding,”

“Zayn! I need real, actual advice right now! I can’t deal with this on my own!”

“Listen, I have nothing else to say because this shit is actually insane right now (and also I’m a _liiiiiiiittle_ bit high) but you just need to tell him, okay? Before you do anything else, tell him,”

“Okay. Okay I need to,”

“Yes, now go in there with your chest puffed out and your chin held high, or whatever, and be brave. You hear me?”

“Yeah,” Harry muttered.

He hung up the phone and walked back into the apartment. Carl was already out and sitting at the kitchen table, eyes looking at him expectantly.

“What were you doing out there?” he asked.

“Uh… just talking to someone. Important call. Anyways, there was something I wanted to tell you,” Harry started.

“Oh, yeah? What?”

“…I’m pretty sure _Grease_ is on. Wanna watch it?”

**

Harry went to the bathroom three times over the course of the movie. Sometimes the anxiety got to him and needed the feeling of the cold water splashed across his face to not start shaking. He thought they had been doing a pretty good job of not getting too close; they were sitting on separate ends of the couch, talking about normal things, no one was making out. A few times Harry could feel Carl’s feet sneak over towards his, but he was keeping a watchful eye out and nothing was going to happen. He kept repeating this to himself because he wouldn’t allow it. No no no. His mom came home and nearly dropped the takeout when she saw they had a special guest.

“Carl! Wow! I wasn’t expecting you!” she said so loudly that it sounded like a scream.

“Hello, Ms. Styles,” Carl replied with a smile.

“Yeah, Mom! Um, Carl came here a few hours ago for a surprise visit. Isn’t that mad?” Harry asked, feeling like the panic in his voice had to be recognizable.

“Oh, dear. If I had known you were coming I would have brought you home some dinner,” she said.

“No worries, I’m sure Harry will be more than happy to share his after all the times he’s stolen my food,” Carl responded, starting to giggle.

Carl and Harry shared his burrito bowl, making sure to scoop it out into two dishes so that their hands wouldn’t have to touch. His mom just looked on with wide eyes and an open mouth that seemed to say “What the hell is he doing here?” Harry just shrugged back.

“Oh my GOD,” Gemma nearly screamed when she came home. Carl merely turned around in his chair and smiled.

**

“So, Carl, why are you here?” their mother asked when Gemma finally sat down at the table to eat.

“Well, it was kinda a surprise to me as well, but I just felt like I had to come up after getting _possibly_ the best news of my life,” he said, grinning.

“Do tell,” Harry mumbled through a mouthful of rice.

“I went to an interview in Atlanta yesterday, and I got a new job! I’m going to be working on this new game show that seems really promising, and I really feel like I got my foot in the door here,”

“Wow! That’s amazing, congratulations!” Harry yelled out, and he truly meant it. Carl worked hard at all the jobs he had because he knew that the media was where he belonged. It was one of Harry’s favorite things about him – his determination to do well in life in the field that he loved.

“I just thought I’d come share the news with the person who made it all possible,”

**

“What the fuck is he doing here, Haz?” Gemma asked as she pulled him into her room, closing the door quickly.

“You heard him!” Harry said.

“Yes but why does he look at you like you’re the light of his life? Does he not know about Niall?”

“Not exactly… or at all,”

“Fucking hell. Why are you toying with his emotions like this?”

“Listen, I’ve been trying so hard to tell him ever since me and Niall got together, but he seemed so upset about our distance that I didn’t want to hurt him anymore. And I didn’t want him to stop being my friend,”

“Well, he’s certainly not sad anymore, so now’s your perfect chance!”

“I’m in too deep, it’s horrible! If I couldn’t do it over the phone how the hell can I do it to his face?”

“What did you think was going to happen, huh? Everything would magically fix itself?”

“Listen. Carl was in Florida. I was in Michigan. Everything was supposed to stay that way! I don’t need to tell Carl every little facet of my life!”

“You do when he’s about to jump down your pants and you _actual_ boyfriend-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

“-is a hundred miles away, doing his job, dreaming of how much he loves you at night,”

“I’m going to fix this! I promise! Just give me time!”

“Don’t fuck this up, Harry. Kyle couldn’t emphasize enough how disgustingly into each other you two were at the diner. He said between how much you two giggled and how much you two made out he almost threw up. You have something amazing here, don’t let it go,”

Harry looked up at his sister. Her face was severe, frozen in what seemed like anger.

“I have a plan, okay? Just let me deal with this in my own way,” he said, leaving the room.

He didn’t have a plan.

**

That night and the following day was a sort of tango. Harry avoided touching Carl like he had the plague. He even invited Louis, Liam, and Zayn over for the entirety of the day (as Zayn’s eyes bore into him like burning knives) just so Carl would feel too awkward to try anything. Night was a little trickier as Carl was handsy even around people he wasn’t trying to fuck, but Harry somehow got across the vibe that he wasn’t in the mood for anything and Carl seemed to respect that. All in all, Harry was sure he was going to get an ulcer from all the stress this visit was causing him. He just knew that he needed to get to 10 in the morning on Sunday, when Carl would leave for his flight and all would be well again. He hoped.

**

His phone went off at 2:26 in the morning. The room was dark but the light from the screen illuminated the wall behind it. Harry hated getting up in the middle of night, and phone calls were no exception. He swore that if it was Zayn or Louis trying to prank him or make him mad he would just tell them to fuck off and go right back to bed. It was Niall.

Harry threw on a t-shirt and got out of the room as quickly as he could.

“Niall? Niall?” he whispered as he moved quietly down the hall, trying not to wake anyone in the apartment. Every room was occupied with someone sleeping, besides the bathroom which wasn’t very soundproof, so he settled on the stairs outside.

There was silence on the other end. He wondered if maybe Niall dialed him by accident, but then he heard a sigh and Niall’s voice broke through.

“This is stupid, Harry. I shouldn’t have woken you up,” it said, sounding weak.

“You didn’t. You didn’t wake me up, it’s fine. Tell me what’s wrong,”

“Have you ever… felt like everything is wrong? Like everything you do is wrong? That everything is suspended above you on little strings and it’s all going to come crashing down?”

“All the time,”

“No, but. I can’t breathe. I’m in an empty stairwell at the hotel because there are people everywhere and I can’t escape them. I feel like no matter where I go someone will find me and I can’t be alone, no one ever leaves me alone. I want to scream but I can’t. Why can’t I do… anything,”

“You’re alone now, Ni. It’s okay. You’re fine,”

“ _God_ , I just…”

There was a noticeable tremble in Niall’s voice and Harry couldn’t tell if he was crying or on the edge because he had never seen him this emotional.

“Take a few deep breaths, okay? It sounds like you’re having a panic attack or something,”

Silence was on the other end again, but through it Harry could hear a few shallow breaths.

“Are you okay? Are you feeling any better?” Harry asked.

“I don’t know,”

“Ni, what’s the matter. You usually don’t give a shit about anything, what’s wrong?”

“I give a shit about everything!” he nearly yelled.

“I know you do. You care about so much, I mean you just don’t ever let it get to you,”

“Yeah, not until now apparently,”

“What happened? Please tell me, I want to help you,”

Quiet again, but Harry waited it out.

“I called my parents today. After the game. I haven’t spoken to them in about a week because I’ve been busy and they’re busy too. So we were just talking about normal things, and then they brought up me coming to visit them at the end of the summer. I bought my plane ticket a while ago, before we started dating or anything. I’m going to visit them at the beginning of September,” Niall explained.

“Sounds good, sounds normal,”

“And then… I’m sorry I didn’t clear this with you ahead of time… but I asked if you could come with me,”

Harry gulped but stayed quiet.

“They asked who you were and I could have lied. I could have said you were just a friend, my best friend. I didn’t,”

“Ni, you didn’t have to if you weren’t comfortable,”

“I was, though. I am. They’re not going to tell anyone I’m not worried about that,”

“What’s wrong then? Did they not know you are gay?”

“They know. We don’t talk about it,”

“Oh,”

“They think it’s a phase. They’ve been thinking it’s a phase for eight years, actually. I don’t think phases last that long,”

“They don’t, Ni,” Harry said, trying to keep his voice stable, low, and comforting.

“It’s because I used to date girls. And I like girls, I do. But I like boys more and they think I’m lying or something. I’ve… never been with a guy before you. Besides like making out at parties when I’m drunk and I can pass that off on the alcohol, when it’s so much more than that. I think they forget about it a lot, too. They try to push it into the backs of their brains because it’s not important,”

“Do they still love you?”

“Yeah, they just don’t believe me,”

“What happened? Did they say I can’t come?”

“They’re gonna ‘ _think about it’_ ,” Niall said, a noticeable edge to his voice that sounded more angry than anything.

“Maybe that means they’re coming to grips with it,”

“No. They’re not. So far they’ve been sure that nice girls were gonna keep turning up with their long hair and their pretty smiles. Keep the illusion up that their son’s not into boys too. Now that you’re in the pictures, now that there’s actual evidence that I like dick, well I don’t think they can handle it. You should’ve heard the awkward silence after I told them,”

“Are you okay? Do you need me to come down there?”

“Curly, it’s two hours away. You wouldn’t even be able to come into my hotel room,”

“That’s fine,”

He could hear Niall do one of those breathy giggles that let him know he was being ridiculous.

“I’m good, thanks,” Niall finally responded, “It’s just that my family loves me so much. I know they do. I just need them to love this part of me too. I need them to love you,”

“Ni, I’ve dealt with this shit before, okay? If you need someone to talk to about it, you know to come to me. Like, don’t hesitate,”

“Why do you think I’m calling you at 2:30 in the morning, dumbass? I know,” Niall laughed.

“I love you, Ni,” Harry said, giggling through it. It was one of those natural things that he didn’t think through, but he didn’t regret it all the same. Niall didn’t say it back, but he didn’t need to because they were just words, really.

“It’s just… I needed someone to talk to but I didn’t want just anyone. It had to be you, but unfortunately I was surrounded by everyone _but_ you. It got agitating and I started to stress out. I felt a bit claustrophobic, actually. I tried to sleep for hours but all I could think of was my family’s faces falling as they thought of me being gay. It was horrible; I couldn’t escape my own mind,”

“Yeah, well, normal people who aren’t chilled out 24/7 have moments like those, y’know,”

“I’m really not that carefree as I make myself seem. I worry about things, too. I have a future in a finicky sport that hates who I choose to love. My knee’s been acting up and if that’s not worrisome then what the hell is. My family is hundreds of miles away and I can’t always make sure they’re alright. I have a dumb boyfriend who gets sad and mopes around in bed all day when I’m gone (which is a lot),”

“Hey! Only sometimes!” is what Harry said. What he meant was “Boyfriend? _Boyfriend? **Boyfriend?**_ ”

“I’m happy-go-lucky but I’m not a robot,”

“I know. But you’d be a cute robot. I could program you to, like, sing silly songs and stuff,”

“That’s what you choose to make me do? Sing silly songs?”

“I like silly songs, yeah,”

Niall laughed and it was music to Harry’s ears. Anytime he laughed like Harry was the funniest thing in the world (it happened a lot), it made him feel important and loved, and made it feel like the distance between them was mere inches instead of miles upon endless miles. Harry’s head was heavy as his lack of sleep caught up with him so he rested it against the railing, but he didn’t dare hang up on Niall. There was still the world to talk about.

“I’m not tired yet, Haz. Is it alright if we talk for a few minutes more?” Niall asked.

“Anything for you,”

“Okay, tell me what you first thought when you met me?”

“This is some cheesy movie shit right here,”

“Come on! I wanna know if you thought I was obnoxious (a lot of people think that, don’t worry if you did) or if you thought I was the hottest man alive (I get that a lot too)”

“Fine!” Harry relented with a laugh, “I was really confused by you because you were big and important to the team and you didn’t act like it. All you cared about was your fucking Ni-Dog. And at the time stress and anxiety was eating me up, but the four minutes you stood by my cash register I felt fine. I liked that feeling. And also I wanted to know what your tongue would feel like crashing against mine, but that’s a minor detail,”

“Well it’s my Irish charm, you see,”

“Hey, I didn’t wake up just to hear you gloat about yourself!”

“Wake up? You said I didn’t wake you up, ass! Now I feel bad!”

“Which is exactly why I lied! Can we return to talking about being idiot puppies in love, please?”

“Alright! So did you go home that night and write ‘Mr. Harold Horan’ over and over again in your journal?” Niall asked, failing miserably to hold back laughter.

“And deny you the beautiful name of Niall Styles? Never,”

**

It took a while but they finally got off the phone. Niall desperately needed to rest and Harry’s head was drooping, so after a few more minutes of making fun of each other they said goodnight, made smooching noises through the phone, and hung up. He tried to sneak back into the apartment as quietly as he could. His mom was snoring (loudly) so he knew she was still asleep and his sister’s door was closed so she would hear nothing. He breathed a sigh of relief before walking into his room, where Carl was sitting up in bed on his phone and very much awake.

“Finally! Was started to get worried about you!” he whispered.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Harry started to say, feeling his palms growing sweaty and his vocabulary lessen under Carl’s sweet gaze, “Someone called me and it was important. I needed to take it. Did I wake you up?”

“Mmhmm, just the door closing after you. Decided to stay up to make sure you were alright, didn’t think it would take that long! Comin’ back to bed?”

“Yeah…” Harry started to say, moving back towards where he had been sleeping, “except we really need to talk,”

He had stopped walking and was standing at the side of his bed, towering over Carl. He felt brave, he felt empowered, he felt… like he was going to pass out.

“Is something wrong? Did something happen on the phone call?” Carl asked.

“ _Yeah, I decided to stop being a dick and own up to my mistakes_ ,” Harry thought, but what he actually said was, “I have a boyfriend,”

“Oh,” Carl’s said with a crack in his voice.

“Yeah, that was him just now,”

“Did it just happen? Like just ten minutes ago? Because I’ve been thinking since I left your apartment a month ago that you were single,”

“It’s recent as in… a few weeks ago? After you left, of course,”

“Jesus Christ, Harry! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“At first I didn’t know how to bring up and it was so new that I had barely told anyone. My own family didn’t know for the longest time! And after… I was scared,”

“Why would you be scared? Of me, out of all people?”

Harry could hear the hurt in his voice and it felt like a punch in the stomach.

“Carl, if you knew that I wasn’t single, would you have spent $500 to come see me for two days?”

The answer was in the silence.

**

Harry woke up to Carl rooting around the room, picking the stuff off the floor that he had strewn there. Clothes, phone charger, wallet. There was an obvious tension in the room; they hadn’t really said much the night before after Harry had told him about Niall, and they certainly weren’t speaking now. Carl left the room to get his things out of the bathroom, and Harry knew the one last thing he had to do.

When he returned and looked in his duffle bag, Carl stopped moving and just stared down.

“Are you sure?” he asked, holding up the orange sweater.

“Yeah,”

**

It was Harry’s favorite place, that little dirty closet in the back of the stadium with Niall helplessly wrapped around his waist and their mouths clashing together.

“I want you to come to mine,” Niall gasped out, voice breathy with adrenaline, “This September when I go home, come with me. I don’t know if my parents will want you there, but if they don’t we can go stay with one of my friends. Sean would take us in in a heartbeat,”

Harry just pressed his smile into Niall’s left cheek, right into the dimple that he always loved to poke.

“Of course,” he said, molding their lips back together. Right before leaving, though, he was overwhelmed with the desire to never leave Niall’s side, so he acted upon it.

 “You should come to my house, tonight. I’ve missed you,” Harry whispered, a hopeful smile across his face.

“But it’s like 10:30 already,” Niall replied.

“We don’t have to do anything; I just want to sleep with you. With you next to me. You know what I mean, shut up. I just like it, it’s comforting,” he continued, pulling on one of Niall’s belt loops.

“How can I say no to that face?”

**

Harry was sat on top of Niall, making him moan into the mattress. He wondered if his family could hear, but he didn’t really care. Niall was sore and tired, and right now he really needed a good backrub.

“You have the hands of a god,” Niall mumbled into the bedspread.

“I know, darling, I know,”

He liked this. He liked being able to make Niall feel better, putting his hands all over Niall’s back to feel out the knots in his muscles that wouldn’t leave. He liked feeling Niall relax under his touch. He liked being able to lean forward and press kisses to Niall’s cheek. What he didn’t like, though, was knowing that Carl had been there only a few days ago, and Niall knew nothing of it.

Harry threw himself off of Niall’s back and onto the bed beside him. His blue eyes looked into Harry’s with adoration and love and Harry could barely stand it.

“I need to tell you something,” he said.

“Oh yeah? What,”

“Um, remember Carl? I told you about him,” started Harry. They hadn’t talked much about him, but Harry had divulged that he had an ex-boyfriend and what his name was and a few minor details.

“Carl? Why?”

“He was here, this past weekend he stayed over a few days. I feel like that’s a thing you should know,”

Niall’s eyes scrunched together and he said, “Why was he here?”

“It was a surprise! Honest! He sent me a text and told me to open the door and there he was, I’ve never been so astonished in my life!”

“Oh, well then why do you need to tell me? Did… something happen?”

“No, nothing at all. It’s just… I hadn’t told him about you. I didn’t know how and I was dumb and afraid to. He didn’t try anything on me, and if I had I would have stopped it right away anyways. But he’s my ex-boyfriend and we shared a bed, and even though it was platonic as hell I needed to make sure you knew,”

“It’s not really a big deal. I trust you, y’know,”

“Yeah, it’s just. I wasn’t able to tell him until after you called. You told me about how you told your parents and it just made me realize how cowardly and stupid I was being. You’re so much braver than me, Ni. So much better,”

Niall took the arm that was laying under him and pulled it around Harry, forcing them closer together.

“You’re wrong,” he whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was still this part of Harry's brain that was sending up red flags and he wanted to listen to it so badly, but Niall’s arm was etching designs on his side and their bodies were fitted together in a way that seemed all too perfect. Everything fit, everything felt right.

Zayn’s second official party was fully under way when Harry found himself sprawled across the familiar sofa with a familiar Louis weighing him down. They were drunk already (like really, properly, totally smashed) and they were taking in their surroundings, curled into one another like clingy koalas. Zayn was talking to one of his school friends that had come to visit him – a blonde with a Canadian accent and an infectious giggle, Liam was drinking (surprisingly) with Pablo from the concession stand, a few people were dancing, a gaggle of others were taking Jell-O shots, and all the rest were mingling around and generally trying to be social.

Louis and Harry were content in their silent happiness. Harry knew that he got quiet when tipsy so that wasn’t weird, but Louis usually talked up a storm as soon as he got within sniffing distance of alcohol. For now though, Louis had one arm looped around Harry that was playing carefully with his hair while the other held onto an empty bottle of bourbon like his life depended on it. Harry liked Louis like this: quiet, demure, satisfied with his legs thrown over Harry like they weren’t still connected to his body. Louis’s personality was dominant, loud, and extravagant, but Harry was pretty sure this softer side held a Louis all its own. A type of Jekyll/Hyde type thing, if you will. At least Harry assumed so, he pretty much SparkNoted that book back in 10th grade and never looked back.

“Whatcha thinking ‘bout?” Louis asked, his head resting on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry considered lying, considered it really hard, but he ended up saying, “Niall,” after only a few seconds because it was truly all he could think about.

“Would’ve called you a liar if you had said anything else,”

“Then why’d you ask, Dumbo?”

“Just to make sure. Where is he tonight?”

“Fucking… Midland. Hour and a half away and I can’t see him. Torture, I tell you. Should be outlawed,”

“We should go see him,” Louis suddenly said, springing to life on top of Harry and staring straight into his eyes, “We should jump in the car, drive to whatever the fuck ‘Midland’ is, and throw rocks at Niall’s window until he comes outside and you make out and stuff. It would be very romantic. I would gag at how corny it is the entire way but I’d still do it,”

“Lou, fuck, we can’t drive. We probably shouldn’t even operate an elevator. Besides, he shares his room on away games. We’d have no privacy and that’s where all the fun stuff happens,”

Louis nodded in solemn agreement then returned his head to its resting place on Harry’s shoulder. He brought the bottle of bourbon up to his mouth only to pout when he realized that it was empty.

“You know, I never tell you this but you’re such a good friend,” he said into Harry’s ear.

“Oh, yeah?” Harry responded.

“Yeah, and you’ve got great hair, too. I’m always jealous of your hair,”

“Why thank you, kind sir,”

“No one ever tells people that they’re beautiful; always just assume that they know. Fuck that, everyone I know is gorgeous and I never tell them,” Louis started to say before turning to find Zayn in the room, “Zayn, you’re handsome, man, and I love you!” he yelled out.

“Thanks, Louis,” Zayn laughed as the blonde started poking at his high cheekbones.

“And Liam!” Louis yelled out again, “You’re so talented, I love it!”

Liam just blushed back, obviously not used to hearing nice things from his brother.

“And what exactly is he talented at?” Harry asked.

“Don’t know exactly, but he is!”

Louis leaned back into Harry’s shoulder, and Harry just patted his cheek in a sort of thank you.

“Jesus, you two look dead,” Zayn said as he strolled over to join them on the couch.

“I’ve had about… too many drinks,” Harry responded.

“Really? Couldn’t tell?”

“Why the fuck are you so sober?” Louis asked, “It’s the end of your internship we’re celebrating!”

Zayn had finally finished his internship with the Wrenches, but the lease on his apartment didn’t end until a few weeks later so he had decided to stick around for a bit.

“Ah, Perrie doesn’t like to drink really so I told her I wouldn’t have too much,” Zayn explained.

“The fuck is a Perrie?”

“I introduced you two like four times, Jesus Christ,” Zayn said, motioning towards the blonde girl that had been attached to him all night. At that point she was standing by the ‘DJ booth’ trying to change the song.

Harry quite liked Perrie even though he didn’t really know her. But she had a really great laugh and she made Zayn smile all the time. Her accent was strong but it was cute. She had eaten, at least, three plates of food since arriving and never made a big show about it. She just really fucking loved to eat. Her hair was bright blonde and her eyes were startlingly blue and her skin was pale as hell and, God dammit, Harry was sad.

“What’s the matter now?” Louis asked as Harry’s face grew longer.

“Niall,” he sighed.

“I thought this party could at least distract you from him. So that’s a no, then?” Zayn said.

“I tried. I really did! And I was doing well for a while, wasn’t I, Lou?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, yeah. Barely moped all evening. How lovely!”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Zayn asked, lowering his voice to try and be as comforting as possible.

“Nah, it’s just… Perrie is very like Niall, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Zayn started, staring off towards her with a large grin across his face, “she pretty much is,”

“Who’s in love with Niall, man? Is it me or you?”

Louis sniggered as Zayn started to blush.

“Who doesn’t love our little Nialler? I’d have to be cold-hearted not to!” Zayn yelled with a smile.

Zayn talked a little while longer about Perrie but Harry was having trouble listening. First because his mind was buzzing from the alcohol, and second because Louis had started wheezing next to his ear. He was suddenly aware that Louis had fallen asleep on him.

“Oh, bless his heart,” Harry started to say, “Always gets so tired when he drinks. Goes hard for a few hours then passes out like a golden retriever after a long day of playing fetch,”

“Better than you. You drift between not saying anything and being a blubbering mess. It’s miserable!”

“Zayn, don’t even get me started on you. Handsy as hell when you’re drunk,”

“I won’t even deny it!” Zayn laughed before leaving to return to Perrie.

Harry looked over at Louis and saw how peaceful he was, all innocent and reserved in sleep. He moved his shoulder up and down, taking Louis’s head with it.

“Hi, I’m Louis and I like to smack peoples’ asses and drink shitty beer. Have you quite finished? Har har har!” Harry mimed.

He threw his head back in laugher at his own joke, letting it rest on the sofa, and he realized that Louis was onto something. The party was dying down and most people had left and sleep sounded pretty good. Perrie had switched on a slow song and was dancing with hearts in her eyes, pressing her lips to Zayn’s chest. Right over where he had gotten that tattoo before and _oh_ , that’s why it was so important. He saw Zayn’s hands drifting over her back, smoothing out her dress and pulling them closer together in the same strokes. It seemed intimate, it seemed comforting, it seemed relaxing. Harry rubbed his free arm onto the sofa next to him, imagining the cheap material was actually Niall and that he could be draped over him instead of Louis. So he drifted off to sleep, knowing that Niall could join him there. They could be Power Rangers together or fly amongst the clouds or travel back in time. Or they could go out to dinner and hold each other’s hands and not have to hide anything and not have to say goodbye.

**

Harry woke up the next day at an ungodly hour (seven, but it counted) to Louis kicking him. He swore that they fell asleep lying against each other, but then they were at separate ends of the couch and Louis was definitely fending him off in his sleep. Suddenly all of Liam’s jokes about Louis being feisty in bed made sense.

He quickly got off the sofa to avoid any further abuse from Louis’s sleeping mind and found his way into the kitchen to see that Zayn had done a fairly good job of cleaning up before going to sleep. Most of the food was put away, including a plate of leftover pizza which Harry graciously helped himself to. The apartment was quiet and he was pretty sure he was the only one awake (of course, not everyone was sleeping next to someone who apparently acted out soccer games in their sleep) but he rather liked it that way.

The balcony looked inviting so Harry grabbed his plate and a cup of iced tea and settled out there on one of the chairs. Braxton wasn’t exactly picturesque (ever) but Harry quite liked the view from Zayn’s balcony. It was one of the tallest buildings in town so when he looked out into the distance, everything was small. The clouds were billowing today and Harry could tell there would be storms due to both the wind and the humidity, but those wouldn’t come until the afternoon and that was a long way off. These were Harry’s favorite mornings, when it felt just so _summer_. Sticky and quiet and like he still had the whole day ahead to do whatever he pleased.

He held his head against back of the chair, hoping that maybe the din of the discreet town below would lead itself to him falling asleep for a little while longer. Because, really, who the hell wakes up at seven in the morning on a Sunday after only five hours of sleep? But then he felt the phone in his pocket buzz and a sense of dread overtook him because that meant his phone was on all night which meant there was a 100%  more of a chance that a few drunk calls and texts made their way out. He usually tried to turn it off because in his drunken stupor he would always be too lazy to try and turn it back on just to send a stupid text, but he must have forgotten and he didn’t want to know what was waiting for him to read.

There were a lot of things that could have happened that would have not been good. He could have texted Carl something stupid like “Why won’t you talk to me, asshole?” Then there was the stunning prospect that he drunk dialed his dad, and that was horrific enough to warrant a shiver down his spine. Or possibly he called Niall and woke him up which would make him feel horrible. It wasn’t like he blacked out the night before or anything, but everything was running together in his mind, and although he remembered getting his phone out a few times he couldn’t remember what he had said. So he just told himself that whatever he did was in the past so he needed to suck it up and look at his phone.

The text was from Niall (it could have been much worse) and it read: “You watch it yet?” With confusion and piqued interest Harry unlocked his phone and decided to start from the beginning of the conversation, and as he continued to scroll he realized that his introversion when drunk did not extend to his phone.

“I’m having fun and I’m not sad! Yayy!”

“Z has bourbon and I’m a happy boy”

“We miss you and it’s not just me this time promise”

“Z has a girlfriend did you know that wtf”

“You’re so hwmot”

“*hot”

“Promise I’m not that dturnmk yet”

“*drunk. Fuck”

“I miss you n no one else is allowed to miss you too just me ok”

“Lou is funny” (the message was attached to a photo Louis sticking his tongue in Harry’s ear)

“Blondie: I sent u smthing , watch it”

“M not home but I will promise”

“Fuck Ni I miss you and your hands down my pants”

“Shh I didn’t send that shhh”

“Yes  Idid,”

“Dwoi syou lgcvr me”

“Haha :D”

“Blondie: You watch it yet?”

Well, okay, it could have been worse. Harry just thanked God for autocorrect (even though it was failing him towards the end) and that the most embarrassing thing he said was only the worst sext he had ever sent in his life. Really? “I miss your hands down my pants”? But what really got him going was the promise of a video of some sort from Niall, and Harry really, really, _really_ hoped that Niall wasn’t even half clothed in it.

He opened up his email and, sure enough, he had one from Niall. All it read was “hope you like it ! Roommates went drinkin and I had the room to myself for a bit !” with a video attached. It’s just that Zayn had shitty-ass internet that always made Harry itch with impatience whenever he tried to check his twitter there, and he knew there was no hope of him being able to open the video. If it was longer than 5 seconds long then the shitty wifi didn’t have the capabilities for it and it was a lost cause. So he lounged back into his chair and tried to fall asleep, waiting for Louis and Liam to wake their lazy asses up.

**

At home Harry ran into his room, barely offering a greeting to his sister and mom as they sat in the kitchen and ate their breakfasts. His laptop was sitting on his bed and he was able to open it and log-on in record speed. The video was still sitting there, as if it could have run off, and he pressed play with butterflies dancing in his stomach. The thought of Niall doing _anything_ in his room alone, just for Harry, was enough to get him hard already.

The video started and the beginning shot was just the headboard of a hotel room with cheap bed covers and no one in sight, but it was a promising start. Then Niall came into view (no articles of clothing missing unfortunately) and sat down in front of the webcam. He started fiddling with something on screen for a few moments, his tongue poked out in concentration, but then he reached behind the camera and pulled out his guitar and _oh_.

“Okay, Curly, I’m bored and no one is in here or the room over or the next room over after that and I think that’s the perfect opportunity for _this_ ,” he said, motioning to the instrument in his hand, “It’s probably kind of cheesy but you never get to hear me play my music and I think I’m pretty damn good at it,”

Niall flicked his eyes down and started playing the song, humming along a bit to make it more recognizable. Harry realized within a few seconds that it was one of his favorites, if only for how much he could relate it back to himself. He wondered how Niall knew he liked it, but then he remembered mentioning it to him as they drove to Wal-Mart so many weeks before. Just that he liked “Green Eyes” by Coldplay because it matched his own eye color, and what a stupid reason to like a song but he would never apologize for it.

Niall played perfectly, actually, and with his own (untrained) ears Harry couldn’t hear any mistakes, which was amazing considering it didn’t look like Niall was following any notes on the screen, just playing from memory. He wasn’t singing, and Harry honestly wished he would because that was his favorite part of the song, but Niall had remembered something he had said over two months ago and was playing his little heart out for him and, damn, wasn’t that enough? Harry sang along instead.

“ _I came here with a load_ ,” he sang out, not really caring if his family could hear him, “ _and it feels so much lighter now I met you_ ,”

Harry was laying on his stomach, looking up at Niall play the song with such ease and waves of calm were washing over him. Really, how could he complain about Niall not singing? Getting an unexpected gift and demanding more. So he continued to fill in the missing pieces with his own voice.

“ _And Honey, you should know that I could never go on without you_ ,”

**

Harry could hear the obnoxious gagging sounds Louis was making, but honestly he was just ignoring them. If he wanted to kiss his boyfriend, and God damn he did, he was going to. He was going to let Niall’s hand drift through his hair and let their mouths lazily smash together in their tipsy state and none of Louis’s shit was going to change it.

“And… breathe,” Zayn said.

They pulled apart at that, laughing. Maybe they should actually pay more attention to their friends when hanging out together. Niall leaned back between Harry’s legs as his favorite place to sit and rejoined the conversation.

“Jesus Christ, I did not drive us thirty minutes away just so you two could make out. If I would’ve known you would do that then I should’ve just left you at home to roll around like dogs in heat,” Louis said.

“Wait, why did you take us so far if all we’re going to do is get drunk and eat take-out?” Zayn asked.

“This field has a nice view of the sunset and it’s far enough away from everything that no one will bother us, now shut up and eat your orange chicken,” Louis explained.

They passed the bottles of beer around that Louis had managed to buy before driving them there, with Liam being the responsible one who would drive them home.

“So” Louis started, “what did you two losers today? Considering it was so important that you couldn’t come over to ours,”

Niall started giggling as Harry turned to answer, “We played some mini-golf, actually,”

“Yeah, fucker promised me 18 holes then took me to Pappy’s Putt-Putt down the road. Should’ve broke up with him then,”

“But I was too cute to resist,” Harry pouted.

“Something like that,” Niall replied, leaning up to kiss Harry again.

“So this is what you do in your free time, then? Go on cheesy dates, pray that no one sees you out, and then roll around in grass and giggle together?” Louis asked.

“That’s pretty much it, yeah,” Harry responded.

“Ah, shut up, Lou. Remember how you were with Hannah? The amount of times Mom had to yell at you for staying up too late on the phone and saying cheesy shit, oh my God,”

“Fuck off, Li,” Louis said into his hands.

“Nah, Louis’s actually a hidden romantic. Him and El are the…”

“Oh my God, shut the fuck up!” Louis yelled, throwing himself into the grass. Zayn was beside him, rolling on the ground with laughter.

“Wait…” Niall started, feeling like he was missing something, “Who’s ‘El’?”

“Well, losers, if you had come over to our house today you would know,” Liam teased, sticking his tongue out.

“Oh, come on, we want to know!” Harry whined.

“Fine, fine,” Zayn relented, Louis just growled into the ground, “So remember the bonfire…”

“Wait! It’s my story! I’ll tell it!” Louis yelled, picking himself up, “So yeah, the bonfire and what not. Do you remember a girl there who was like a bit shorter than me with long brown hair?”

“Lou, that was like half the party,” Niall said.

“Shut up. She was gorgeous and wearing a really nice white dress, and she had come there with Dani. Remember?”

“Ok, it’s bringing up a memory I have. Continue,” Harry answered.

“Well she’s one of Dani’s friends from back home. Her name’s Eleanor and she goes to Oberlin where she studies Politics. And… we kinda have a thing going on or something,”

“Why haven’t you talked about her, asshole?” Niall asked.

“Because it’s really been pretty much nothing! We had a few text conversations and we skyped one night, but that was about it. Then last night Dani was stopping up here for the night because she needed a place to crash on the way back from a friend’s house and El just happened to be with her! Then while Liam and Dani snuck off to _God_ knows where…,”

Liam smirked.

“…I showed Eleanor around town for a bit and let’s just say Liam and I had to fight over who got the bedroom to themselves,”

Louis entertained them with a few more stories about his romantic escapades before Zayn pulled out a few joints he had snuck out. Niall, sadly, had to refuse but Harry and Louis delighted in the change of vice. Before they knew it the sun had blown out and the stars overhead were beaming down on them and, frankly, Niall needed to get to bed.

Niall cursed as Harry pulled him off the ground, shaking a bit at his left knee.

“Ni, are you okay?” Harry asked.

“Eh, nothing major. Just my knee’s been acting up. Should be fine,”

Harry hunched down, swiping a finger across Niall’s cheek and asked, “Would you like a piggy-back ride?”

Niall nodded and grinned, so he hopped onto Harry as they strode together back to the car.

“So you liked my song, eh?” Niall asked, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“Best song a boy has ever played for me. And only song,”

“ _You are a rock_ ,” Niall sang lowly.

“I was missing your beautiful voice on it, though,” Harry noted.

“You didn’t really miss out on much. Play much better than I sing,”

“I tend to disagree,” Harry whispered as he nuzzled into Niall’s touch.

“So you want me to sing on your next one?” Niall asked.

“Oh, is there a next one?”

“If you want, yeah. And if I have time, obviously,”

“Well, let’s just say that if you sang I’d be really happy. But I’ll take anything I get from you. I treasure all your little gifts,”

“What do you want to hear?”

“A surprise,”

**

The next night Harry stayed up late in anticipation for his video, and around two in the morning it finally came through.

“ _Missin you”_ was all the email said. This time Niall was seated in what looked like a conference room of a standard hotel, already showered and rested from the game.

He recognized the beginning notes immediately. Niall knew that he liked this band a lot, and there was a tattoo to prove it. Harry liked this song even more with Niall singing though, and he couldn’t help but smile at the fact that Niall had listened to him.

Lying back on his bed, Harry just took in the words as they washed over him. [Wishing Niall was there.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk_V6R_pGfM)

**

When another one of Harry’s days off came around, he hardly had to think about where he was going to spend it. Niall would appreciate him being there at the game, and Harry wanted nothing more. He had considered coming to the game early and talking with Liam and Caroline at the concession stand, but then he thought of how nice it would feel to sleep in and he took that route. His sister dropped him off at the stadium a bit before the game started, where he was supposed to meet Zayn. As he dropped into his seat a text message came in.

“Z: It’s Perrie’s last night so do you mind if I bail aha !! :D”

Harry sighed and replied back: “Guess so. Enjoy yourselves jeez,” He didn’t really feel like sitting by himself for the entirety of the game, but he also didn’t feel like having Zayn and Perrie sitting next to him and making out either.

With only a few minutes left until the game started, Harry busied himself with texting Niall. He had, of course, already shut his phone away so he could focus, but Harry was telling Niall how he felt like a trophy… boyfriend? Sitting on the sidelines with a spiked coke in his hand, screaming his head off for #1 with pride beaming out of him. He really liked doing this, seeing what Niall did best while looking hot in his uniform, even if it was pushing 90 outside.

Finally, the Wrenches ran their way out onto the field and the stadium erupted into cheers. Harry joined in and was able to catch Niall’s attention with a barrage of whoops and waving arms that made him look like an ass, but he wasn’t alone. Half the stadium seemed to yell for Niall. Harry thought back to the first time he had seen Niall play, a little over two months before. Since then, a lot had changed. They had gone from an ‘accidental’ kiss to making out in storage closets. From awkward silences to comfortable gaps in conversation that didn’t need to be filled. Now, when he yelled out towards the field showing his admiration for the blond kid on first, he knew that the love was reciprocated. He had the hickeys and bruises adorning his chest to prove it.

**

“Oh, excuse me. Do you mind if we sit next to you?” a pretty woman asked, carrying a small child who couldn’t have been a year old with a 4-year-old hanging onto her dress.

“No, not at all!” Harry replied, moving down so that they could sit by the aisle.

It was the seventh inning already and Niall was up at bat again. Harry sat on the edge of his seat in anticipation, hoping that he would do well. He did, of course, with a very respectable single that brought the man on third home. Harry yelped with delight, standing and cupping his hand to his mouth in the hopes that Niall could hear. He couldn’t, of course, but he looked over in that direction with a smug smile across his face that Harry just wanted to kiss off.

“Do you know him?” the woman asked, “Niall, that is?”

“Uh, yeah. He’s my best friend,” Harry replied, worried that maybe he was putting on too much of a show.

“Oh, I’m Dale’s wife, Val! Pleasure to meet you!” she said, extending her hand for a shake, “And these are our kids, Sara and Jake,” motioning to the toddler and baby respectively.

“Yeah, Niall’s said some stuff about Dale. Pitcher, right? Seems like a nice guy!”

“Oh boy I hope so! I’d be very mad at him if he wasn’t,” she started, “The kids and I try to get out to all home games, if there’s time, of course. We’re not usually this late!”

“I’m sure he won’t mind. I know Niall just likes having anyone here when they get the chance,”

“Honestly, after six years I think he’s still surprised I come at all,”

Harry just stared at her in surprise.

“You’ve been putting up with this for six years?” he asked.

“ _Putting up with it?_ I don’t think that’s what I’d call it, no,” she replied.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to offend. It’s just that Niall makes it seem like it’s really hard to keep up with relationships with their busy schedule,”

“It is! Oh boy, it is!” she said loudly but with a smile, “But it’s a lot easier when you trust one another and deeply love one another. When Dale got on his first team in Louisiana, he and I were at that point in our relationship where we knew that we wanted to be together for the long haul. If we had to work hard at it to pull through, then so be it,”

Harry really understood what she meant. He glanced back to the game to see that Niall had made his way to third in the time he had been talking to Val. Niall was standing with a hand on his hip and the other curling around a stray piece of hair and Harry had never felt more smitten. Sitting next to a woman who was reaffirming that it was possible to keep a relationship up with a baseball player, he knew that everything was going to be alright. He had proof, he had the determination, he had the desire. All he needed to do was keep his head on straight.

“Of course” she said, interrupting Harry’s stares, “if we didn’t have the off-season I don’t know what I would do,”

“What?” Harry felt he almost yelled, whipping his head around to face her again.

“I mean, that’s the time when we can truly be a family again. He misses out on a lot over the summer but he makes up for it during the rest of the year. Sure, he has a job the rest of the year too, but we get to feel normal again. From September to April I can breathe. I get through the season by knowing that the off-season will just bring us closer together,”

Harry felt a familiar knot in his stomach as the player up at bat finally struck out, ending the inning. Niall jogged his way back to the dugout and Harry excused himself from where he was sitting. He needed to walk around a bit, find someone to talk to that actually knew what was going on. There was only one person he could think of so Harry went straight for the stand, but Liam was busy. He shot over an apologetic look and returned to his customers, and Harry knew that it didn’t really matter. The person he really needed to talk to was down on the field and probably looking up at the stands, worried and confused as his most important fan wasn’t in his seat. So Harry returned to his spot next to Val so he wouldn’t be missed, and he tried to continue on watching the game as if nothing had changed.

**

“What’s wrong with you?” Niall asked over his grilled cheese.

“What?” Harry questioned, coming out of his daze, “It’s nothing. Just staring off into space, you know how I get,”

“I’ve been around you to know when you’re upset. That was an upset stare not a focused stare or an I’m-lost-in-my-own-mind stare,”

“Listen, it’s nothing, okay?”

Niall moved his leg so it could reach over and nudge Harry’s, and when their eyes met Niall’s seemed to say “I don’t believe you,” Harry just returned back to the movie they were watching over dinner – _Taken_. Niall had brought it over with him, and apparently it was one of his favorites. Not one of the most romantic movies Harry had ever seen, but it was entertaining enough.

With Harry not letting up, Niall quickly finished the rest of his sandwich and laid back on him. They continued to watch the movie until Niall finally yawned one too many times.

“Alright, budge up, Little Bear. We can finish this movie another time but you need to get to bed,”

Niall groaned at Harry telling him what to do, but he trudged off to put their dishes in the sink as Harry went back to his room. He flopped onto his bed to rest for a few moments before Niall snuck up on him, pouncing on his back in a quiet hop.

“Ah, Niall, what the fuck!” Harry yelled out, his voice muffled by the pillow beneath his face.

“Tell me what’s wrong, asshole, and I’ll get off,” Niall said, trying to sound angry but coming out more playful.

“It’s nothing! I need to brush my teeth!”

“You can do that after you stop avoiding my questions!”

“I’m not avoiding anything!”

Niall leaned down, sweeping a gentle finger across Harry’s curls, and whispered in his ear, “I don’t believe you,”

“Okay, fine, get off my back… literally… and I’ll tell you. Promise,”

So Niall crept off of his back, moving to lie next to him with their shoulders touching. Niall’s face was soft and his eyes were welcoming. Everything about him was always so comforting.

“How long can we keep this up?” Harry squeaked out, his forehead crinkled in frustration.

“…what do you mean?” Niall asked.

“It’s just… I was talking to a wife of someone on the team today, and at first she was telling me all I wanted to hear. That relationships with players are hard, but if you want it enough it’s worth it and everything just kind of falls into place,”

“Yeah, then what fell to shit?”

“Well, she said that she didn’t think their relationship would have lasted had her husband not had the off-season. And…”

“Harry, you do know I have an off-season too, right? Just like him? I won’t be doing this all year round,”

“Yes, I know, Ni. It’s just… your off-season is my on-season. Your last game comes two weeks before I go to school three hours away. Permanently. It’s not like right now where you leave for a few days then come back and continue on and on like that. We’ll be apart for weeks, months at a time. You’ve got to get a job here if you want to keep up with your expenses, or maybe even you’re planning to move back home to Boston! I don’t know! All I know is that we didn’t think this through very well,”

Harry felt his eyes tear up with those words and he willed them to stop, but he realized that if he could let his true emotions show in front of anyone it would be Niall. Niall who had seen Harry at his grungiest and most tired and who had called him early in the morning because it was all Niall could think to do.

“Maybe _you_ didn’t,” Niall whispered.

“Listen, it’s not like I don’t want stay together. Just is it dumb to keep moving on and ignoring the fact that in a month I’m gonna have to leave?”

“Here,” Niall grunted, taking his arm around Harry and pulling them together so that Niall’s chest was curving over Harry’s back. Harry stilled.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Cuddling,” Niall responded.

“…why?”

“Because when someone’s upset they should get to be the little spoon and you never get to be the little spoon so today you can. Now, you need to tell me what I can do to make you feel better,” Niall said, pressing his lips between Harry’s shoulder blades.

“I just… it’s just that I’ve always thought long-distance was stupid. Like it could never work. You can try it but it will always be a bad decision in the long-run,”

“Okay, let me think,” Niall said and Harry swore he could hear the gears turning, “Got it. Us, this thing we have, is like a slide into first, alright?”

“Jesus, Ni. You know that I don’t know shit about baseball. I barely understand what you just said,”

“So like, runners slide into base because if they overrun it then the baseman can tag them out, but at first base you don’t have to figure that in because you’re allowed to overrun there. Since sliding generally slows you down it’s thought of to be pretty dumb to do it to first base. It’s not like you can’t, it’s just not smart. And we… people might think it’s dumb of us to do this. That we keep on hitting issues and we have to work through them and we’re never around each other and for some reason we seem to end up crying and stressed a lot? But… our only other option is to do the normal and easy route and just blow past first. Leave each other at the end of the summer with a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the back but… Harry I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’ve never been quite normal. I want to linger on this. I want to hold onto this relationship until we’ve run out of options, and we haven’t yet. Trust me,”

Harry was quiet because he was still processing what happens. There was still this part of his brain that was sending up red flags and he wanted to listen to it so badly, but Niall’s arm was etching designs on his side and their bodies were fitted together in a way that seemed all too perfect and Niall was humming “Best of My Love” into his back and Harry was reminded of the video that was saved on his desktop. Everything fit, everything felt right.

“Ni, do you mind if we sleep like this tonight?” Harry asked, turning his head so he could see Niall’s face.

“Of course we can, Curly,”

“It’s just… I forgot how nice being the little spoon is. Why have I been letting you hog it?”

**

A few days later, Harry was out shopping with Liam when he felt his phone buzz. Feeling excited, maybe hoping that it was another one of Niall’s videos, he pulled out his phone and saw that it was a text from Niall.

“Blondie: Parents called. U can come home wit me,”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry just stared on in wonder at Niall splayed across his bed, limbs laying wherever they pleased. His skin was ghostly pale with little hints of freckles scattered across it, in places one wouldn’t even think to look. And he just had a glow about him, when he was laying there sweaty and flushed with his chest heaving. An honest-to-God glow that radiated off his body as if the sun was following him into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I changed the rating of this story and this chapter is the reason for that. Yeah.

Niall said it with Harry’s lips against his throat. Melting into the mattress with eyes screwed shut. Fingers digging into Harry’s back with fevered want. Hips canting up. Voice gasping with desire.

“I want you to fuck me,”

Harry had to stop for a second, frozen against Niall’s shoulder. His mind was racing and he honestly thought he had misheard so he pulled his head back to look into Niall’s eyes with an eyebrow cocked.

“Please. Just, I want this now,” Niall almost begged.

He couldn’t help himself then, Harry started giggling. Niall looked up at him with terror in his eyes until Harry realized he was sending off the wrong message.

“No, just, shit. I just thought you’d never ask, is all. God, Ni, I’ve wanted you for so long. Wanted you all to myself,”

Niall’s smile returned as he pulled their lips together again. Harry really wasn’t quite sure what to do. He knew that Niall wasn’t exactly experienced, and anyway Harry never really did much of the topping in his and Carl’s relationship, but his sister and mom were out and Niall was laying on his bed waiting and he didn’t really think he wanted to hold out much longer. Luckily he didn’t have to take the first move as he soon heard the familiar clank of metal and the slap of leather as Niall’s hands were at his waist, undoing his belt. And it was as Niall started to palm Harry’s dick through his boxers that Harry realized how badly he wanted it.

Harry quickly rolled off and peeled away his jeans and boxers. He scurried off the bed, throwing his clothes in the corner, and went to his bedside table to look for everything he needed. Through a bit of (frustrated) digging he found the bottle of lube and box of condoms that he had been praying he kept stocked, throwing himself back on top of Niall.

“Okay, I promise to take it easy, alright? Tell me if anything’s wrong,” Harry said.

“Harry…” Niall started to say.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Harry rushed out.

“It’s just… you’ve forgotten to take your shirt off,”

“Oh, fuck,” Harry mumbled as he pulled it off, throwing it in Niall’s face, “You happy?”

“Hey, it’s my first time getting properly fucked! I want the full Harry Styles experience,”

Harry shot him an impossibly smitten look and reached up to pull down the sweatshorts Niall had left on. His cock sprang out of its constraints and Harry just smiled, learning over to lick up its side. He had to remind himself, though, that they had done that countless times before. Nearly every night that the two spent together, somebody had ended up with the other’s cock in his mouth. It’s not like that wasn’t great, honestly it was amazing, but there was something new to explore and Harry was ready for it. He reached over Niall’s leg to grab the bottle off the bed, helping a copious amount of lube onto his finger. He figured that they could deal with the mess later, he just didn’t want Niall to ache. Too much.

“Okay, Ni. This is probably going to feel… weird. So just bear with me. If anything at all…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell you if it’s horrible. Let’s just get going with it already. I’m dying up here!”

“Sorry,” Harry mumbled as he began to trace kisses along Niall’s thigh. He loved this most of all, because the higher he got on the leg the less Niall cared about sensual bruises blooming over his skin. Harry liked to leave those casual little marks, hidden under the safety of Hanes and the soft bands of Niall’s pants. He liked to plant little reminders for when Niall was alone in the shower and horribly missing the time they spent together, forever feeling lips ghost across his skin.

Niall squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation.

Harry brought a finger up to press into him, but he was stopped by a ring of muscle that wouldn’t let up.

“Ni, babe. You’ve got to relax,” Harry cooed as he comfortingly rubbed Niall’s stomach with his free hand.

“I _am_ relaxed,” Niall insisted, but Harry could hear the hitch in his voice.

He smiled and lifted himself from his seat between Niall’s legs, crawling up his body so that they were face-to-face again. Niall looked up at him in confusion, but Harry knew him well enough already. Knew that Niall would sink into his touch and melt into the bed with just one kiss.

“It’s just me, yeah? You can trust me,” Harry said before shifting up a bit so he could get at the spot behind Niall’s ear, nibbling it. Niall turned his head so he could reach.

“I do… let me show you”

With that Harry was able return to his spot between Niall’s legs and get a finger in him, feeling the way that Niall adjusted to something so new. Squirming under sensations that he really wasn’t accustomed to yet. Harry wasn’t quite sure how he had managed so long without the sight of Niall’s eyes uncontrollably clamped tight, hands gripping onto the headboard as if his life depended on it. He finally got a single finger worked all the way in, and soon Niall was relaxed enough for Harry to push it in and out, letting it drag along the rim with each go, until Niall was squirming out of want.

“Another,” he croaked out.

Harry obliged, slipping another finger until Niall felt tight around him again.

“Jesus,” Harry muttered.

“What? What is it?” Niall questioned.

“Nothing, it’s just. You’re gorgeous,”

Niall did one of his breathy laughs at the compliment, but the thing is that it was just so true.

Harry just stared on in wonder at Niall splayed across his bed, limbs laying wherever they pleased. His skin was ghostly pale with little hints of freckles scattered across it, in places one wouldn’t even think to look. And he just had a glow about him, when he was laying there sweaty and flushed with his chest heaving. An honest-to-God glow that radiated off his body as if the sun was following him into the night. A string of curses were flowing out of his mouth. Blush was slowly creeping down his body. It had started blooming on his face early in the evening, but was now creeping to wherever there was space. And it was as Harry curled his fingers, hitting a spot that Niall had never previously knew existed, that Niall’s beauty shone through. As he arched off the bed in seemingly uncontrolled pleasure, he begged for an added finger that Harry was all too ready to give.

“Are you alright?” Harry asked. Niall just answered him with a labored huff and a look that basically said ‘stop asking me these stupid questions’.

“Do you think you’re ready for me, then?”

Niall tried to respond but Harry was crooking his fingers against the mass of nerves in the back so all he got out was a strangled groan and a nod.

Harry pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the comforter that he knew he was going to have to wash anyways. He quickly grabbed the condom that he had left sitting on the side of the bed, ripping the packaging open with his teeth and rolling it on. Niall took the free moment to catch his breath.

“Wait,” Harry said, grabbing a pillow from next to Niall, “Put this under you. It’ll be easier,”

 With Niall’s ass higher in the air and legs spread wider so there was more room, Harry took a deep breath in and lined himself up with Niall’s hole.

“Ready?” Harry asked.

“Please,” Niall whined, his voice sounding wrecked and desperate.

Harry tried his hardest to push in slowly, but Niall’s hand found its way to his chest anyways and a stammered “wait” came out. Harry stalled as Niall’s breathing fluttered, his mouth a firm line in concentration. He finally opened his eyes, searching across Harry’s face for some mysterious sign, and then gave him a quick nod.

He slowly got the rest of the way in, saying “Okay, that’s it,”

“That’s it? Like I should be unimpressed? Good Lord,” Niall huffed.

 “Sorry,” Harry said through a smile, before leaning forward to catch Niall between himself and the bed.

“I’m gonna keep going, ‘s alright?” Harry asked. Niall answered with his lips finding Harry’s again, biting and pulling on the bottom one with impatience.

Harry picked up a rhythm then, trying to find the perfect balance between speed and keeping Niall okay. He tried his hardest to not go too deep, to only graze along the special spot every few thrusts so that Niall could hold out. Their mouths were crashing together, getting sloppy as the rest of their bodies required more attention, and Harry liked the way that he could feel the moans begin in Niall’s mouth before he let them loose. Liked the vibrations of pleasure that revealed themselves before Niall himself knew they were bubbling up. And he liked the way Niall’s hands wound through his hair, pulling whenever it got to be too much.

One hand left his head and Harry could feel it work its way down to where Niall’s dick was slapping between their stomachs.

“No,” Harry cautioned, “Let me,”

He spit into his right hand and enclosed it around Niall’s cock, stroking it in rhythm with his hips. He rubbed his thumb over the head, twisting up the shaft. Niall just hummed in pleasure above him, and as he sped up just the tiniest bit Harry could hear the noticeable change from a chant of his name to a string of unintelligible grunts.  

Harry could feel it before Niall said anything. Could feel the shortness of breath and the dick in his hand twitch and the muscles around his own cock tighten.

“I’m gonna c-come,” Niall stuttered.

Harry leant forward and whispered in his ear, “You can bite me if you want,”

Without even a moment of hesitation, Niall dropped forward and latched onto his shoulder, biting into it as he came into Harry’s fist. Muffling his screams into Harry’s skin. When he let go Harry moved so that he was laying completely on Niall, molding their bodies together. Knowing he was close Harry sped up his movements, Niall’s nails digging into his arm. And suddenly he was coming with his chest heaving and the beginning of Niall’s name trapped on his tongue. Niall had already come off his high and was looking at Harry’s with wide eyes.

“Are you alright?” Harry asked as soon he had recovered his senses, still lying across Niall’s chest.

“Haz, come on. Did that sound like someone having a bad time?” Niall joked.

Harry giggled and then finally pulled out, rolling off so that he could discard the condom in the trash by his bed.

“So, like, it was good for you too, right?” Niall questioned, “Like…”

He was silenced as Harry started to attack his torso with kisses.

“It was perfect,” he said, sucking on a spot near his belly button.

“You were perfect,” he said, dragging teeth along the indentation from his hipbone.

“You _are_ perfect,” he said, tugging gently on his nipple.

Niall let out one of those breathy laughs again that showed he couldn’t believe it, so Harry silenced him with his mouth instead.

**

Harry woke up to Marimba coming from Niall’s phone. It was early (like _early_ early, like 5:30) and the sun had not even come up yet. As the sleep left his eyes he could see that Niall had stayed asleep just as they had been the night before. His head was pressed into Harry’s chest and his left arm was curled around Harry’s waist. It really _could not_ have been comfortable, but Niall didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

“Ni, wake up,” Harry moaned into Niall’s hair, kissing his scalp. Niall just groaned.

“You’re the one who set the alarm for this shitty time, not me,” he reminded him.

“Fine, fine. Yeah,” Niall mumbled before moving to the opposite bedside table to turn off his phone. He dropped back onto the bed, rotating his shoulders from the stiffness they suffered overnight.

“You sleep alright?” Harry asked.

“Never better,” Niall replied with a lazy, sleepy smile that Harry felt was only reserved for mornings. And he felt cheated that he had never gotten to see it before.

“Wanna shower?”

The night before they had fallen asleep without really washing up afterwards. Harry moaned about it being gross but Niall was steadfast, and neither could really complain as they fell asleep minutes after kicking the comforter back up around them.

“I’ll just do it at mine. You go back to sleep,”

“Nonsense. It’s not like soaping up your naked boyfriend is a thing people complain about,”

“Okay, but it’s not like I wanna do anything, yeah? Just wanna stop feeling so… yuck,”

They both got off the bed, with Niall maybe having a hitch in his step that was a little more than noticeable.

Harry couldn’t help himself, though, as he had a hand around Niall’s dick somewhere between the shampoo and the soaping. And it was as Niall panted against his shoulder, hand planted onto the wall to keep them steady as he came back from his orgasm, that Niall said it through a smile: “I love you, Haz,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me so much trouble (hence why it took over a week for barely over 2,000 words) so I would appreciate any feedback! Even negative!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was happening so quickly that Harry felt he was having trouble processing it all. It was only three months before that he had arrived in Braxton. He had stepped off the plane hoping that he could manage to get through the summer without too much boredom, getting a few bucks at a job he thought he’d hate, and trying to tide himself over until Northwestern would finally open their doors. He had never expected to find four new best friends, a boyfriend that loved him more than he could ever have imagined, and a new home that really felt it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this is very OT5 friendshippy because a lot of storylines needed to be wrapped up, but there's a good amount of Narry left in here too I think?

The late August air was sticky and cool on Harry as it blasted into his face through the open window. The five of them were piled in his mom’s sedan on the way back to Braxton after a fun-filled day at Splash World, a small waterpark nearly an hour to the south. Harry could still feel the chlorine on his skin and could still hear the sound of an infinite number of small children screaming, and it all felt so… so _end-of-summer._ So like squeezing in the last few drops of fun before everyone had to return to their regularly-scheduled events of boredom, and the whole lot of them were no different.

“What kind of monster actually thinks the cream part of an Oreo is superior?” moaned Louis from the back seat, and really Harry had to laugh. The rest of them had been going on with this fight for the past few minutes, and really he was just happy they hadn’t gotten to him yet.

“Without cream you can’t make a milkshake!” Zayn yelled from the other side of Niall.

“Honestly? Who the fuck makes an Oreo milkshake? Just eat the damn thing by itself and admit that the cookie part is better. Liam, are you ready to change your mind?” Louis asked, his voice seemingly getting higher with every passing minute.

From his spot in the front seat, Harry could see that Liam was clearly regretting answering Louis’s dumbass question. And even more so he was regretting answering ‘incorrectly’.

“I’m not. I’m not gonna apologize for my opinion, Lou,” he answered.

“Wow. So much disloyalty in this car. I thought, of all people, that I could trust you, my _flesh and blood-_ ”

“We’re not,” Liam interrupted.

“-to have my back. But no. At least I have sweet Niall in agreeance,”

“God, don’t look at me. That was a tough question if I’ve ever heard one,” Niall groaned, the palms of his hands pressing into his eye sockets.

The day had been fairly good so far. For the amount of time they had spent together there had hardly been any fighting, and really if it had taken until nearly six in the evening to fight over something as trivial as favorite bits of a sweet then it was a success. Splash World wasn’t exactly a top-notch, world-class waterpark, but considering its location in the middle of a state that was cold as hell for most of the year it wasn’t bad. But really, what they all knew in their hearts, the best part was just being there _together_. There hadn’t been many times when the five of them could just hang out all day, so Niall getting a day off a few days before they all had to part ways was a Godsend.

It was something they had all been avoiding, but none-the-less hung over their heads the entire day: leaving. The next day was the first day of classes for Louis. He went to school in town and roomed at home so it wasn’t really a big deal, but it was the first reminder that things had to (and were going to) change. Then the following day was Zayn’s last. He had a flight from Detroit for early that Friday morning, and even though Harry had offered to drive him, Zayn refused. He had already scheduled a car to pick him up. Then that Sunday Liam would be heading back to his own school. It wasn’t that far away, but far enough. Everything was happening so quickly that Harry felt he was having trouble processing it all. It was only three months before that he had arrived in Braxton. He had stepped off the plane hoping that he could manage to get through the summer without too much boredom, getting a few bucks at a job he thought he’d hate, and trying to tide himself over until Northwestern would finally open their doors. He had never expected to find four new best friends, a boyfriend that loved him more than he could ever have imagined, and a new home that really felt it. Or that the coffee wasn’t half-bad if you actually knew where to look.

“Harold!” Louis cried from behind him, and Harry braced himself for the question, “What about you? What’s your favorite part? And remember, the boy who sucks your dick says cookie,”

Niall sniggered as Harry shot Louis a very stern look through the rearview mirror.

“I don’t know… I like them both equally. Don’t want one without the other. There! Everyone wins! Styles saves the day!” he said, fist pumping the air with his minor victory.

“Nope. You don’t get to be Switzerland today. Choose one or so help me God I will lick-” Louis started.

“Alright! Alright! Cream!” Harry finally relented.

The entire car erupted into fits then as Zayn gloated in his victory, Louis cried in defeat, and Niall whined in hunger. Liam tried his best to quiet all of them down so that Harry wouldn’t be distracted while driving, but Harry didn’t really mind. He was too busy trying to remember all these little parts of his friends. How Zayn always wanted to partner up with Louis yet never wanted to agree with him. How Liam was always trying to pacify anyone around him. How Louis could conjure up fake tears at the drop of a hat. How Niall would literally double over if he was hungry enough, just to drive the point home. He grinned as he saved these snapshots of his friends in his mind, paying no attention to the song that came on next on his shuffle.

No one else seemed to notice it at first, but then Louis’s ears perked to the sound of a familiar voice coming through the speakers, and as he recognized it a smile crept across his face.

“Wait, wait! Everyone shut up and listen!” he yelled.

They all obeyed, silencing the car in a matter of seconds. It only took a few more for Niall to break out in barking laughter, and as Harry slowly realized he tried his hardest to grab his iPhone from the cupholder next to him, but Liam was too quick.

“ _But here in my heart, I give you the best of my love_ ,” sung out a high and sweet voice.

“Fuck,” Harry muttered under his breath.

“Oh my God, is this who I think it is?” Zayn asked. Niall just roared even louder in his laughter, clutching at his stomach with eyes clamped tight.

“Liam, check the info!” Louis yelled.

He obeyed and started laughing as soon as he saw it. Harry hung his head as much as possible in defeat.

Liam read out, “Artist: Niall. Song: Best of My Love (Eagles). Album: Songs from Ni. The cover photo is a picture of Niall from the beach for God’s sake!”

They all started laughing then, even Harry. He did have to admit that it was a tad cheesy, but sometimes it was more comforting to fall asleep to Niall singing and playing. He could’ve _sworn_ that he had told iTunes to keep those songs off of shuffle, though.

“Wait, wait! You said there was an album. Does that mean there’re more of these?” Zayn asked, his face frozen in anticipatory excitement.

“Zayn, you evil genius, you! Li, check it!” Louis yelled.

Harry groaned because they were, of course, right. Niall was left in the back seat giggling to himself. He had stopped screaming out in laughter, but he definitely did not appear to be as distraught as Harry at what was going on.

“Hang on, give me a sec…” Liam said, trying to scroll through the phone, “No fucking way! Seven songs, Lou!”

“Jackpot!” he yelled, “Don’t just sit there! Press play!”

“Hold your horses!” Liam squirmed as he finally got a song rolling, “There,”

Harry recognized it immediately as the beginning chords of “Fly Me to the Moon” but the rest of the car did not seem to be the biggest Sinatra fans.

“Liam, fastforward. I want to hear Blondie over here sing,” Louis whined, elbowing Niall in the side. Harry glanced in the mirror to the back seat where Niall was looking back at him, eyes crinkled and smile spread wide as if he couldn’t believe what was happening.

“ _You… are all I long for. All I worship and adore,_ ”

“Next!” Louis yelled. Liam dutifully pressed the skip button and shot forward through the song.

“ _My heart is yours. It’s you that I hold on to. That’s what I do_ ,” Niall’s voice from the radio sang, but that didn’t deter Niall from swaying in his seat and singing along – harmonizing with himself.

“Switch it before I throw up,” Louis moaned, Zayn had grown quiet and was just looking on at Niall with a tender grin.

“ _When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions, it’s my worried mind you quiet_ ,”

“You’re kidding!” Louis moaned, “Everything is romantic and cheesy,”

“What did you expect him to sing, Lou? The Spongebob theme song?” Harry asked.

“Do you really want an honest answer to that?” Louis replied, Liam switching the song on him without asking.

“ _Ooh, let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone_ …”

“Shut it off, Li!” Louis yelled, his brother obliging, “Are you serious right now?”

“If you really don’t like to know the inner workings of our relationship, Lou, then maybe you should stop poking at them,” Niall countered, tickling him along his rib.

Harry had to laugh because it was true, Louis had been poking him all day long. Pointing out the fading purple against his skin that showed where Niall had been the night before. But as much as Louis liked to prod them and make fun of them, asking whether they had been vacuuming recently, he still stuck his tongue out and pulled faces whenever they did anything cute. It was as if anything remotely coupley, like holding hands in the lazy river or feeding each other fries at lunch, grossed him out.

“If you can’t handle PDA then how the hell have you had relationships?” Niall asked.

“I don’t know! It’s just… you guys were my friends first. Just pals and whatnot, but now you like… have sex. Is that weird for anyone else?”

“No,” Liam and Zayn replied in unison.

**

They pulled back into Braxton within a matter of minutes. While their fun day out had partially been an end-of-the-summer hurrah, it was also in celebration of Liam’s birthday. Louis had already planned a proper party at one of their friends’ house for the night of his actual birthday, but Niall couldn’t be there so they were reveling a bit early, for friendship’s sake. Because it was his special day, Liam was allowed to pick where to eat (for once), and no one was surprised at his choice.

“ _Don Juan_?” Niall asked, squinting out the window as he read the sign over the food truck.

“Have you not taken him here?” Louis asked to Harry.

“Nah, we haven’t had the time,” he replied.

“Well what is it?” Niall questioned.

“It’s a food truck but all they sell are tacos and churros,”

“It’s food. I’m in,” Niall said before opening Zayn’s door for him and trying to push him out.

They got in line and all ordered the same thing (as if there were many options): a set of three tacos and an order of churros. Louis offered to pay for Liam’s and Harry offered to pay for Niall’s, so Zayn and them stayed up at the counter while the other two went to find a table.

“Hey, I have a request,” Louis said to the chef.

“What is it?” he moaned. The person who owned the food cart was fairly nice, if a little anti-social. It’s just that Louis had gotten into a very strict routine of annoying him whenever he ate there.

“We’re here for my brother’s birthday. Is there anything you can do for him?”

“This isn’t Outback Steakhouse, kid. I don’t have a jingle prepared for occasions such as these. I just make tacos,”

“Please? Please, please, please? I’ll tip you five bucks. Anything! Literally anything will work!”

The man seemed to mull it over for a second, which was surprising to Harry as he thought there would be a quick denial.

“What’s he turning?” he asked.

“Twenty!” Louis nearly yelled, Harry elbowing him so that Liam wouldn’t hear.           

“Fine,” he relented, passing their food out the window, “Just tell him his churros are taking a little while longer and I’ll bring them out fresh for him, alright? Give me a few minutes,”

Louis reveled in his silent victory as he walked back with Harry and Zayn to join the other two at the picnic tables.

“Where’re my churros?” Liam inquired.

“Sorry, I dropped them. The guy’s making some new ones. He’s bringing them out in a sec,”

All of them dug into their food, with the tacos eliciting an audible moan from Niall when he took his first bite. Their table was silent as five hungry, teenaged boys got their first bites of food in a couple of hours. The only thing to interrupt them was the truck owner, delivering a plate of churros arranged in the shape of a ‘20’ on a plate, adorned with a bit of chocolate drizzle and some strawberries.

“Happy birthday or whatever,” he scoffed before returning to his place behind the counter.

“Aww guys!” Liam said with a smile as the rest of them started to sing happy birthday.

“Now make a wish and blow out the candle!” Louis ordered with a smile.

“Uh, Lou. There’s no candle?” Liam replied.

“Do as I said,” Louis demanded with a stern face.

Liam just merely blew on the churros, eliciting a dumb grin and a clap from his brother.

“Where do you think he’s got this stuff from?” Zayn asked. It’s not as if the truck required a lot of ingredients.

“Don’t know about the chocolate but maybe the strawberries are part of the secret taco recipe,” Harry offered.

“Can we stop talking about churros and eat them instead?” Niall asked.

Harry just laughed and reached over to shove one in Niall’s mouth.

They ate their delicious dessert while Louis blabbered on about how much his classes are gonna suck in the fall. Liam rearranged the twenty on his plate to become a nineteen before eating (“I’m not relinquishing my teens that easy, boys,”). When they were finally finished eating, Louis taking the longest again, Harry ran back to the car to grab the bag of gifts they had left in there without Liam knowing.

“Aw, guys!” Liam sang out, his smile spread wide like a puppy’s, “You didn’t have to!”

“Of course we did, Dumbo,” Louis replied, “Now open mine first, it’s probably the best,”

Louis was pointing to the present wrapped in Spiderman paper, of course it was, and Liam let out a literal gasp when it was finally revealed.

“Louis, you didn’t!” he yelled, Louis grinning like a maniac as Liam held up a small stack of Batman comic books. “I’ve been looking for these forever!”

“Are you serious?” Niall asked, “I didn’t know you liked Batman _that_ much, Li?”

“Let’s put it this way” Louis started, “if Batman was real, Liam would become an evil villain just to get the opportunity to get his ass kicked by the Dark Knight or whatever,”

“Well now ours looks like shit,” Harry moaned.

“Ours? Did you say ours? As in you got a couple gift?” Zayn questioned.

“It’s a ‘couple gift’ as in we are in a relationship and we bought it together, but only because Niall found it online, but it was too expensive for just one of us to buy, Jesus,”

“I’m sure it’s perfect,” Liam grinned as he opened the blue package in front of him “Wait, oh my God. It’s perfect?”

“You sound so surprised, you little shit,” Niall said with a hearty laugh.

“What is it, Leem?” Zayn asked.

“There’re like… twenty earlier PlayStation games that you can play on the PS3,” Harry answered, “Niall and I remember Liam and Lou talking about some of these, and they’re always complaining about how all the games they have now are shit. So we decided to fix that when Niall found these beauties on Ebay,”

“God, do you know how many of these games we used to have but like Louis lost them or one of our sisters stole them or they just broke? This is amazing!”

“Beat that, Zayn,” Niall said with his tongue poking out afterwards.

“Oh, I will,” he replied confidently, gesturing towards the envelope still left on the table.

Liam opened it with a smile on his face, pausing as soon as he opened the card to find nothing inside.

“Zayn, no offense but did you forget the present?” he asked.

“Nope!” Zayn replied, his grin reaching idiotic levels, “Just haven’t given it to you - yet,”

“Are you stupid?” Louis asked, “Like actually stupid? Because now’s the time to give him the fucking present, you dope,”

“I haven’t given it to him yet… because we’re not at the tattoo parlor,”

Liam’s jaw dropped.

“You’re shitting me,” was all Louis could say.

“Nope! Liam keeps telling me about this tattoo idea he has, and I’m gonna make his dream a reality. If he wants, of course,”

“Zayn, that’s incredible, but I can’t accept that! Tattoos are expensive! Like…” Liam started.

“Shut up, I obviously know that. I also know I have a lot of money and I can afford it. I like your idea, let’s get it done. Are you in?”

“Well, I did say the only thing holding me back was the money…”

“So that’s a yes?” Zayn pried, his grin looking incredibly satisfied.

“Yes, fuck,” Liam said into his hands, seemingly sick at his choice.

“Is this an open invitation?” Louis asked, “Can I come?”

“What, are you gonna get one done?” Zayn asked.

“Maybe! Liam isn’t the only one who wants their tattoo virginity to be taken,” Louis responded with.

“You know, I’ve been itching to get one before the summer was over…” Harry started.

“Do it, Idiot,” Louis bullied.

“I mean, if you all are… the artist here is just as good but half the price just because he isn’t in New York,” Zayn said before turning to Niall, “What do you think, bud? Do you want in too?”

“Guys, please don’t think I’m lying when I say I’d rather eat shit,”

**

Liam ended up being the first one in the chair. His idea was simple and all he really needed to do was pick out the font, which the artist was happy enough to help with.

“It just means like, I’ve felt really blessed lately with everything that’s happening in my life. I feel like everyone I’ve surrounded myself with really loves me, and that they’re helping me become a better person. It’s something I’ve never really had before. Just… I didn’t even know how badly I needed you guys in my life until I’ve had it,” he explained to Louis and Harry as the man was working on him.

“You know,” Louis started, “Everyone’s gonna hear Liam say those beautiful words, and then they’re gonna get to me and ask me about my fucking bird on my forearm, and all I’m gonna be able to say is ‘I like birds’. And that will be the truth,”

“S’ okay, Lou. Everyone always asks me about the star on my arm and I have to be like ‘Do you really think this black star is something significant? What could it possibly mean?’” Harry responded.

“Are you in pain, Leem?” Louis asked.

“Eh, it’s okay. But a real man can deal with it,” he replied.

“Oh, really? Well, let me go find one and then maybe you can stop squirming in your seat,”

“Lou, you say that now but in like an hour, you’re gonna be the one sitting there and we’re gonna have to like hold your hand or something,” Harry helped.

Louis continued to tweak the details of the bird he was getting on his forearm as Liam’s tattoo really filled out. Apparently one of his friends drew the bird a while back, and while Louis had been playing with the idea for a few months it wasn’t until Harry and Zayn ‘corrupted’ him that he really considered the idea.

“What are Zayn and Niall doing over there, anyway?” Louis pointed out, jutting his head to where Zayn was getting a skull tattoo right below his right collarbone and Niall was sitting next to him.

“What do you mean?” Harry responded, “They’re just talking,”

Louis dropped his voice. “But they’ve been, like, doing that all day. They’ll like withdraw themselves from the group and just talk to each other all low and stuff. Do you think they’re planning something?”

“Haven’t you noticed? Niall hasn’t really been taking this splitting apart thing very easily. I think Zayn’s, like, helping him come to terms with it,” Liam replied.

Honestly, Harry had noticed. Whenever that specific topic would come up in conversation Niall would grow uncharacteristically quiet. And just in general Niall was very good at avoiding things. Sometimes he so easily got lost in his own world that it was hard to tell if he was dodging tough subjects or just spacing out. Or whenever Harry would try to talk about how he was moving away in a matter of weeks, Niall always found his way on top of him with his tongue down Harry’s throat. And, okay, there were worse things than that, but a good make out session wouldn’t keep Harry from going off to college.

“Yeah. I’ve been bringing it up for a while now but Niall keeps evading me. He always finds… other stuff to do,” he answered.

Louis rolled his eyes. “But why Zayn? I mean, don’t get me wrong I understand the magnetic appeal of Mr. Cheekbones over there, but Niall’s been latching onto him like a child to a mother or something I don’t know,”

“Hasn’t Zayn ever told you about all the time he and Niall spent together before games during his internship?” Harry and Louis both shook their heads as Liam continued, “Apparently the office never really had much shit for him to do so he used to wander around the stadium. One day he found Ni in the locker room air drumming to Aerosmith or something equally dumb and they kinda hit it off immediately. That’s when Zayn invited him to his first party, actually,”

“I’ve never heard of this,” Harry said.

“I mean, it’s not a big deal. It’s not like they were down there making out or anything. It’s just that I think they had a bigger friendship than we realize because we weren’t there for a lot of it. That’s probably where Zayn figured out Niall was into you, actually,” Liam winced as the tattoo artist started up again.

Harry looked over at the other chair again. Zayn’s tattoo was coming along nicely, and he was looking up at Niall telling a story with what could only be described as pure fondness across his face. It looked like Zayn thought everything Niall said was adorable and hilarious, and okay Harry understood that - he had those days too, but Niall was looking down at him and he just looked so sad. Like the reality that this was their last night together in who knows how long was crashing down on him. Zayn just tried to be as comforting as possible, adopting his crinkliest-eyed smile and rubbing Niall’s knee with his free hand.

“I mean” Liam started again, lowering his voice so it was less noticeable to the tattoo artist “aren’t there things between you and Ni that have stayed between you and Ni? And I don’t mean the obvious TMI shit. Just like, little things that you don’t really want say to the rest of us,”

He and Niall did have a few of those, actually. There was their very first ‘kiss’ after the game one night, and the shit that was stirred up between Niall and his parents, and, well, there had been the songs that Niall had sent out, but keeping those under wraps had pretty much failed spectacularly. It’s not like Niall and he were hiding those things, it’s just that the rest of them didn’t need to know.

Liam continued, “Those days spent in the locker rooms and the warm-up rooms; those are for Zayn and Niall. They’re not ours. We don’t have to share everything,”

**

The five of them stumbled out of the tattoo parlor a little later than anticipated, oohing over the fresh ink. Niall carefully traced over Liam’s forearm, reading the tattoo out loud.

“ _Everything I wanted, but nothing I’ll ever need_ ,”

Zayn and Louis walked back towards the car, fawning over each other’s tats. Louis tweeting as he pretended to move his bird about on his arm, and Zayn trying to explain his skull.

“I mean, it’s not really like there’s a meaning behind it. It just looks sick, man. But its name is Earl, Niall helped me decide that. It just… looks like an Earl, right?”

Harry’s tattoo wasn’t really like the rest of theirs. He hadn’t thought long and hard about his like Liam had, in fact he only came up with the idea while waiting his turn in the shop. And it wasn’t like Zayn’s in that it was practically meaningless. And it wasn’t like Louis’s in that it was meant to look big and showy and pretty. Instead, it was just very _Harry_. It was small (partially due to Harry’s own straining wallet) and simple, the font picked out without much care because that wasn’t what mattered. And it was a direct result of that night, everything culminating around him. The five of them realizing that their summer was ending soon and that they’d live together only in each other’s memories. Especially as Niall hung over his shoulder and danced his finger over his side, Harry only had one thought.

_Can I stay?_

Before entering the car, Harry pulled Niall aside, catching him in a quick kiss before starting on what he had wanted to say.

“You know, Ni, I obviously really like all the nights we spend together, but like we don’t have to do them every night you have off,”

“Jesus, you trying to get rid of me?” Niall laughed.

“Nah it’s just… I know that you and Zayn are really close,” he continued, playing with the hem of Niall’s shirt, “And if you want to I’d have no objections to you going back to his for one last time before you leave each other. Fuck, that sounds like I’m giving permission. I’m not like… saying you need my permission. Just don’t feel bad if you don’t want to have a Niall and Harry night for once, alright? We have some time for those later on. Give a goodbye to Zayn. Like a proper bye. Not one that has to be rushed because you feel like you need to get back to my place,”

Returning to Harry’s home was usually a given now. If Niall had the time, Harry had the bed. It was just a thing they had started doing. And Niall’s teammates had certainly noticed his absence, questioning him about his new chick. They never seemed to notice the lingering smell of cologne that stayed on him when he would return home, a scent that didn’t match Niall’s own.

“Are you sure, Haz?” Niall questioned, and of course Harry was, but he could see the twinkle in Niall’s eyes that showed that this was _exactly_ what he needed.

Niall squeezed Harry tighter in gratitude, coping a feel at his ass in the process, before he skipped off towards Zayn. Harry couldn’t really hear what they were saying, but Niall cuddled into Zayn as he asked, and Zayn replied with a seemingly energetic yes. They all huddled in the car then, Niall kicking Liam out of his passenger seat position.

“I’ve got to keep a guard over this iPhone,” Niall joked, pointing to Harry’s in the cupholder, “Don’t want any more of my songs to leak. At least not before the album drops,”

His arm fell to rest on Harry’s thigh, and although it was normal for them, Harry still held his breath while he waited for Louis’s snide comment. It didn’t come, and he wasn’t sure if it was because Louis hadn’t seen, or maybe he was trying to hold his tongue for once (doubtful). But as soon as everyone was buckled up, Harry shifted the car into drive and took off towards his friends’ home.

**

They all got out of the car at the Payne residence, savoring the last goodbye between Liam and Niall before U of M opened its doors for the semester. Niall would still have one day left in town when Liam would be there, but Niall’s game would run late that night and Liam might have last-minute errands to run so they decided not to risk it and just get the hug over early. Zayn was leaning against the car, seemingly enveloped in something on his phone, while Louis and Harry stood further off to the side. Harry could just barely hear the words that Liam saying lowly into Niall’s ear.

“I’m only like an hour away. You can come visit me whenever you want, my door will always be open. And I’ll come home sometimes, too. Also, get your license and maybe it won’t be so hard to see me, Jesus,”

Niall giggled as they lingered in their hug a little longer. He wasn’t crying, and Harry hadn’t really been expecting him to, but his face betrayed the hesitation as he tried to let go.

“Aren’t you gonna get in there and steal your own little bit of Niall alone time?” Harry asked.

“Are you kidding? I’m still stuck in this town and so is Niall. Once you leave I’m gonna be like all he has left. He’s gonna be coming over my house so often I’m probably just gonna let him have Liam’s bed. Daisy’s gonna go insane,” Louis replied.

“You’re okay with that, right? I mean I know you have your own set of friends here…”

“I will never in my life regret a day I spent with Niall, okay?”

Harry just grinned as he gave Louis a hug.

**

They pulled into an empty spot outside of Zayn’s building, and it was already a little too late for Niall’s taste. Yawn after yawn escaped his mouth as they drove there in sleepy silence. Harry was going to wait until Zayn and Niall were inside the doors to finally leave, and as the two of them walked there Niall suddenly stopped and returned to the car, tapping on Harry’s window.

“What d’ya need?” Harry asked after rolling down his window.

“Are you coming, Smelly?”

“What… are you talking about, Ni?”

“Did you think we were just gonna leave you to go home alone?” Zayn yelled, a few paces back.

“It’s just… this is Zayn and Niall time. Not Harry and Zayn and Niall time?” Harry tried.

“I wanna say goodbye to Zayn but I wanna spend the night with you, too. As long as we don’t do anything _lewd_ I think we’ll be alright,”

Zayn nodded behind him as Harry grinned to himself. He didn’t need to be told twice to spend the night with Niall.

**

Harry woke up the next morning to Niall’s face pressed into his side. They had fallen asleep on the floor of Zayn’s apartment, with Zayn mere inches away. They had been watching _Friends_ when Niall had stopped skirting his fingers over Harry’s stomach, sleep taking him away. _George Lopez_ had been on when Zayn finally put his phone down and succumbed to sleep. And Harry was well into _My Wife and Kids_ when his drowsy mind caught up to him.

It hadn’t been a long time since then, but Niall needed to be up early so Harry just decided to wait until Niall’s phone would go off to get up. The apartment was quite bare because all of the furniture Zayn had rented was already sent back and the few knick knacks that had resided there were packed away in neat boxes. The only thing kept up was the TV that Zayn was taking back the next day and the pillows and blankets that were surrounding them. They hadn’t done too much talking before getting to bed, but he could tell that Niall was a bit more relaxed as he was able to put off giving Zayn the final goodbye (at least for a while).

Niall’s phone finally went off and he woke up, greeting Harry with a lazy “hello” and a smothering of kisses. They tried to not wake Zayn, but one of them accidentally ran into his arm as they were folding the blankets, causing him to stir. He stayed up then, waiting for them to go. Albeit you could barely call it awake as he sat hunched over on the floor with droopy eyes.

Niall and Zayn’s final hug was close and kinda weird, which Harry thought was exemplary of their relationship. Their faces were buried into each other’s necks, and as they finally pulled away Zayn poked a triangle into Niall’s nipples then belly button. And, okay, that wasn’t really _normal_ , but whatever.

**

Liam’s birthday party a few days later was kind of amazing. One of his friends, a kid named Andy, had hosted it. Andy was a tad douchey, but eh, he had good booze and good music and a nice, empty house. Liam seemed to like him enough.

By the time Liam was blowing off the candles on his birthday cake Harry was already pretty drunk. He had wasted no time in downing a few shots and knocking back some Piña Coladas that Liam’s bartender friend had been throwing together. He was engaged in a tough game of flip cup when he felt he heard his phone buzz from the coffee table. Zayn and Louis followed him over as he went to retrieve it.

“Why isn’t that… off?” Zayn questioned, struggling to find the last word through his alcohol-clouded mind.

“Ni said he wanted me to, like, see our video thingy tonight. A.S.A.P he said. I intend to listen to my _man_ ,”

Louis sniggered at the last word.

Indeed, the message was an email from Niall with a video attached, the message only saying “ _have fun x_ ”.

Harry grabbed the wifi password off of Andy “I spend hundreds of dollars on liquor and you wanna go on the internet?” and settled down on the sofa to watch his video. Zayn and Louis decided to tag along, with Harry making Louis promise not to gag if it got too corny (which it probably would).

“Say it, Lou! I’m not gonna start the video until you say it!” he demanded.

“Fine. I promise to respect how cute your relationship is and keep my obnoxious (yet warranted) reactions to myself,”

Harry nodded and then pressed the play button. Immediately, he was thrown off as the camera was not pointed towards a headboard, per usual. Instead, it was facing the center of the completely empty hotel room. They heard a door open as Niall finally came into shot, locking it behind him. He was still dressed in his uniform (although Harry noticed it was the home one, not the away) and had his guitar in hand. His face had that stupid smile across it that showed he was planning something but didn’t want to admit to it. Harry just wish he knew what.

“So, the boys are out again tonight and they’ll be gone for a few hours. You know what that means?” Niall asked as he laid the guitar down on the one of the beds.

Harry did know what that usually meant, but then Niall shot him a wink and was fumbling with his belt and _oh that was new._ And suddenly the video had stopped.

“What the fuck!” Louis yelled, his finger still on the pause button.

“Is this what normally happens? Were we basically listening to porn while we were in the car?” Zayn asked, his face seemingly very worried.

“No, no, no,” Harry giggly repeated. He didn’t want Zayn and Louis to see the rest of the video, but he really, really, _really_ , wanted to press play again.

“Go on upstairs, then,” Zayn started, pushing Harry off the sofa, “Enjoy whatever the fuck that was in private, thanks,”

Harry couldn’t control his smile as he stomped his way up the stairs. Through his drunken mind he cradled his phone against his chest, trying to protect Niall from God knows what. Many of the bedrooms upstairs were already filled, but Harry found one hidden at the end of the hall that would fit his needs. It was small, but considering his idea of fun that night was going to be a little more one-sided, he decided not to care. Locking the door behind him, he crawled onto the bed and unzipped his jeans. He pressed play when he felt ready.

Niall continued taking off his belt, and as it come off with a quick ‘whack’, he doubled over in laughter. Harry brightened as the familiarity of Niall’s snicker rang in his ears. It made the whole thing seem a little more believable because while Niall was _hot_ , sexy he was not. They had tried stripteases and other things of that sort, but usually they just ended up in fits of giggles. Harry appreciated the effort, though, and he was never going to turn down a chance to see Niall in his uniform, even if he was taking off. No, strike that. _Especially_ if he was taking it off.

He worked off his shirt next, shimmying as he unbuttoned down his front and shook the clothing off his shoulders. Throwing that on the ground, he winked at the camera before dissolving into fits again.

“I don’t know why the fuck I’m still sending this to you,” he laughed, “It was much sexier in my mind. I promise,”

Harry didn’t really care anymore. Niall was making him laugh and still stripping off clothes. Those were his two favorite things and he didn’t mind if they overlapped. He continued on with the show then, Niall reaching down to kick off his cleats and peel off his socks. Then he quickly pulled down his pants, seemingly having given up on seduction. All that was left was his undies and his UnderArmor top. And soon that was discarded as Niall pulled that over his head, in that way that Harry liked where his ribs were pushed out and you could more easily see his abs. Then he was left standing in his white Calvin Kleins with a hand on his guitar.

“Alright,” he said, sitting down on the bed and moving the camera to better focus on him, “Let’s get this show on the road.

And Harry noticed the small smirk left on Niall’s face that showed he realized he was being a bit of a tease, but Niall was never one to care. Harry just relaxed back on the bed, palming himself through his boxers as Niall started up the song.

“ _Love me tender, love me sweet. Never let me go_ ,” he sang, “ _You have made my life complete, and I love you so_ ,”

He was glad, then, that Louis and Zayn weren’t here to see it (even if Niall would have stayed completely clothed) because it was one of Niall’s cheesier song choices. Perhaps only matched by the song he chose the night before, but Harry couldn’t blame him because he had honestly been surprised it took him that long to get to Buble. Still, like all the others, Harry relished in it and closed his eyes so he could imagine Niall was lying beside him instead of miles and miles away. And he knew he had to cherish this, because it was almost the last one. There was only one more away game, one more sleep until Niall would be done. Sure, there was still the last stretch of home games, but those came easier to Harry. 

 Niall had done a pretty good job, Harry thought, of putting together these songs. He always played them well, never shook on a chord. Not to mention he had picked out a nice selection. Although sometimes a tad saccharine, the songs were a good mix of their respective favorites; both The Eagles and Coldplay got honorable mentions. Somehow Niall always seemed to say what Harry needed to hear, or maybe just what Niall really wanted to get across.

_I’m giving this relationship all I’ve got._

_I put on a brave face but sometimes all I can think about is how you’re not here._

_You keep me safe and calm._

_Never stop loving me._

**

A few days later and Niall was sat on Harry’s bed eating the stirfry Harry had made him. There was only one game (literally one) left in the season, and the excitement was always around them. The Wrenches had actually started doing fairly well. They stopped losing so often and it stopped looking like Niall was the only one keeping them all afloat. Harry wasn’t sure why that had happened, but he felt it had to have at least something to do with the amount of scouts filling the stands. And although he knew a few other players on the team were being looked at, he always felt a sense of pride knowing that a good majority were there because of Niall. So they decided to celebrate the only way they knew how: packing.

“So, like, what should bring to Boston?” Harry asked, standing in front of his closet with no clue.

“Because you have so options,” Niall joked, pointing out the, er, lack of variety in his wardrobe.

Harry turned around and shot him a look before continuing, “No, but like, will it be cold? Hot? Rainy?”

“Do I look like The Weather Channel to you?”

“Well excuuuuuse me for trying to be prepared,”

“I just have one recommendation: bring something nice,”

“Like what nice? A polo? Are you planning a romantic dinner?” Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Uh, something like that. Bring a suit. We’re going to a wedding,” Niall added hastily, refusing to look up from his rice.

Harry spun around quickly on his heels to face Niall, “What are you talking about?”

“Well, you see,” Niall sighed, “Greg’s getting married. On Saturday. You’re invited, ‘course. As my plus one,”

“Ni, no offense, but that’s some shitty timing. Could you have not told me any later? Perhaps as we stuff our luggage into the car? Maybe when we’re sitting down on the plane? What if I hadn’t had a suit?”

“I knew you had a suit. I’ve seen it in your closet,”

“Doesn’t answer why this is so last minute. I’m assuming your brother didn’t just plan this yesterday,”

“Okay, listen. This… is a very coupley thing to do, alright? You either go to weddings with friends or with someone you really like. Someone you want to introduce to the loads of family that are there. And, well, I’m not quite sure how I’m going to introduce us but I don’t know. I just didn’t want to scare you, alright? I didn’t want you to think we were like moving too fast or something,”

Harry moved to join Niall on the bed, curling into him so that his cheek rested on Niall’s shoulder.

“I’m not scared by it. It’s fine. I want to go to your brother’s wedding… with you,” he said, pulling on the edge of Niall’s tank so it rode up his body.

“Are you sure? If you’re not I can arrange for someone to give you something to do,”

“There’s nothing I want to do more but stare at your ass in a tuxedo all day long,”

**

Harry had asked Pablo if he could sneak away from the stand for just a few minutes, and after a few moments of incessant whining his request was allowed. It was the last inning of the final game, and as the sun started to fade behind a few buildings the Wrenches had their final out at hand. He had found a space to watch it all unfold, up in an archway that led from the stands to the concourse. They were leading, 5-2, and Harry couldn’t have been happier. Although Niall never let the outcome of a game decide his happiness, Harry always felt better knowing that Niall was successful and fulfilled and a winner. Niall was hanging out on first base, trying to keep his attention up even though all around him was distracting. Although the record barely showed it, Niall was happy with how the season had panned out. And Harry was happy too.

There was a lot to be proud of for Niall. His RBI was quite good and his errors were low. He was, without a doubt, a morale booster on and off the field, and everyone interviewed for the paper or the local news station liked to mention that. Niall was popular, everyone was ready and willing to sing his praises to the press, especially Harry. He was only named as ‘one stadium worker’ in the Sunday edition of The _Braxton State Journal_ , but he was proud to speak proudly of his boyfriend, even if barely anyone knew that was what they were.

“ _I see it every game_ ,” he had said, “ _How all the fans yell loud for [Horan] and scream out his name. They’re proud of him. We all are_ ,”

There was a lot to be proud of, yes, and as the final batter finally struck out the entire team rushed the field. They piled on the pitcher’s mound, relishing in the feeling that everything was over. They had survived their season, and although it wasn’t perfect (by a long shot) they all their personal victories that they needed to celebrate. So Harry helped Niall celebrate his with a long-overdue blowjob later that night. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soon everyone was filing into the plane with Harry and Niall towards the middle of the line. All around them were families and married couples and businessmen. No one was just two teenagers smitten with each other’s’ faces that were about to release their love onto a new set of people. Finally, as Harry walked through the threshold of the plane, he started to feel better. Because there was no turning back and Niall was firmly planted in the seat next to him, and Harry realized that he didn’t really care what happened as long as Niall was there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a super-mega-long chapter, but a lot of things happen so.

Harry tried his hardest to sleep in the car as the streetlights on the highway passed over him, inducing a dull strobe effect. It was early (like stupid early) and he was usually the first person to fall asleep in any moving vehicle, but that morning was a bit different. Sure he was tired as hell because he had essentially only gotten like two hours of sleep that night, but his mind was racing like the few cars that caught up with theirs in the early morning lull, and there were no brakes in sight.

His mom was driving Niall and him to the airport, content that ‘her two lovebirds’ were peacefully sleeping in the back, and Harry was grateful for it. She had woken up so early to drive them because, number one: they wouldn’t need to pay for parking, number two: there weren’t enough cars to go around since Gemma had returned to school, and number three: the boys would be able to sleep on the way there. She was doing them the biggest favor, really, even more so if you factored in the fact that she paid for Harry’s ticket.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she had said, “Just consider it part of your graduation present,”

Harry had wanted to point out that she had already bought him a laptop, but she was always firmly invested in his and Niall’s relationship so he just decided to accept the gift.

Still, he wanted to follow Niall’s lead so badly and just fall asleep. Niall was curled into his side, head resting against Harry’s shoulder as he hugged his green carryon backpack to his chest. Whenever the bag shifted Harry could distinctly hear plastic crinkle and he had a suspicion that it was nearly 80% full of snacks for the trip. But as they passed exit after exit he just couldn’t will himself to sleep. He was equal parts excited for all the fun he and Niall would (hopefully) have in the upcoming days in Boston, and anxious to meet Niall’s parents. Harry had met them once before, but only for a few minutes and definitely _not_ as their son’s boyfriend. It didn’t help that Niall hadn’t mentioned if he had talked to his parents about accepting his sexuality, but Harry felt that Niall would have told him had they done that.

He finally started to feel his eyes flutter closed as he passed the exit sign that read “Ann Arbor”. Harry thought of Liam and how he was fast asleep there, getting up in a few hours to hit the gym before class. And strangely enough it was Liam’s puppy dog face that was the last thing Harry thought of before drifting off to sleep for the last half hour of the journey. Before he knew it, the car was stopped at the departure terminal of the airport. He awoke to the sound of luggage wheels rolling and car doors slamming, and looked down to see Niall staring up at him from his shoulder.

“What’re you looking at, Blondie?” Harry asked, rubbing his hands across his face to try and wake himself up more.

“You were snoring,” Niall giggled.

“Shove off. Like you haven’t woken up to it before,” Harry said too quickly, before remembering this mom was in the front seat. She chuckled at what he had said, but especially at the blush that was spreading across his cheeks. He just didn’t like readily admitting to his mother that he and Niall slept together. Like a lot. And it wasn’t like she didn’t know (she lived in that apartment too) but it was just an awkward subject that he didn’t really want to talk about with his mom. He easily spoke of their few dates and what they were planning to do in Boston and other things like that, but anything that warranted more than a PG-13 rating was off-limits.

“Come on, you two snuggle monsters. We can’t sit here all day,” she said, finally opening up her door and moving around to the trunk. The boys followed suit and grabbed their luggage out of the back of the car. They had packed reasonably light, with the most difficult part being figuring out how to get Harry’s suit all the way to Boston in a leather shoulder bag.

“Now your suit might get wrinkled” his mother said as she pulled him into a hug, “but I’m sure Niall’s mom can help you iron it out if need be,”

“Alright,” Harry mumbled into her hair, trying to pull away so he could catch their flight.

“And be a good boy. And call every day even if it’s only for a minute. Don’t do anything dumb. Remember to take your shoes off for security. And most importantly,” she finished, kissing Harry’s forehead as she pulled away, “have fun,”

Niall moved to walk through the terminal doors before Harry’s mom called him back.

“Oh you’re not getting away that easily, Mr. Niall,” she yelled out, opening up her arms for a hug.

He walked back to her with a smug smile spreading across his face, matching the flush that was doing the same. She grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in, seemingly saying something into his ear while Niall just rocked on his feet. While it was touching, Harry tapped his foot impatiently because they really did need to get inside. His mom only let go when Harry finally cleared his throat.

“Okay, alright! I get the hint! Go on, you two! Have fun!” she said, blowing a last kiss before getting back into the car. Harry pulled Niall along as they finally entered the airport. Although their tickets seemed like a good idea at the time (because they were the cheapest they could find without a monster-length layover), as Harry looked over at Niall’s drooping eyes he thought that maybe they should’ve splurged for the noon departure. It didn’t really make sense, though, because Niall had fallen asleep before him the night before and had actually gotten some semblance of rest in the car. Even if the two of them had stayed up a little too late doing…things, Harry felt that Niall still should’ve been more rested.

“Why’re you so tired?” he finally asked as they waited in the (surprisingly long) line to check in.

“What do you mean?” Niall spat out as he tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes as much as possible, “It’s not even six in the fucking morning yet,”

“Well you slept more than me last night, and you actually slept in the car. I just figured you’d be the one rushing me through here is all,”

“I haven’t been sleeping very well these past few days,” Niall admitted, starting to chew on his nails. It was something Niall adopted when he was extra anxious or stressed, and Harry felt dumb for not picking up on how much his habit had increased in the past few days. If he felt nervous about meeting Niall’s parents, he didn’t even know how Niall would feel in bringing home his first real boyfriend.

“Sorry, didn’t even realize,” Harry mumbled, trying to catch Niall’s eyes.

Niall just shrugged and started to dig through his bag, looking for his boarding pass as the line started moving forward again. Harry thought it over and concluded that Detroit was far enough away from Braxton to not care about anyone seeing them together, so he grabbed Niall around his shoulders and hugged him tight. It didn’t take very long for Niall to melt back into his embrace, and Harry planted a quick kiss right above Niall’s ear before they were finally called to the counter.

Security wasn’t really an issue and before they knew it they were sitting at their gate, waiting for the flight to San Francisco to move out so their plane could come in. Even though Harry had grabbed some milk and a banana from his house before he left, he was still a bit hungry. But the food stalls were just so incredibly pricy.

“When I get signed to a Major League team and I start making the big bucks I’ll actually buy you food from the inside of an airport,” Niall said, “Until then, I’m not spending eight bucks on a bagel. Here, have a Ho-Ho,” Niall threw the snack at him, and as Harry bit into it he finally understood why Niall liked them so much.

The two of them were snuggled into a corner far away from a few of the (loud) families they would (unfortunately) be flying with. It was nice because it had an outlet and a good view of the morning sky that was slowly brightening. They were sat on the floor for maximum cuddle room (especially since the chairs didn’t look that comfy anyway) with Niall reclining between Harry’s legs. Niall was furiously typing away on his phone and Harry was trying his damnedest not to look at what he was doing. Instead, he busied himself smoothing over Niall's hair and watching the planes out the window.

“What’re you doing?” he finally asked after a period of silence that was a bit too long.

“Coach Cowell’s setting some things up for me. At least he’s trying to. Some pretty exciting stuff if he pulls through,” Niall responded.

Harry just nodded, knowing that Niall would have given him more details if he really wanted to. Suddenly, a voice broke over the PA system as the plane that boarded before them started to leave the gate.

“Good morning and welcome to American Airlines!” the all-too-cheery voice broke out, “I’m sorry to say that Flight 3025 from San Antonio will be at least 30 minutes late. We’re sorry for the delay and hope that you have a wonderful day,”

There was a collective groan from the boarding area, but Harry felt that none was louder than his. They had a connecting flight to catch in Baltimore and he was already feeling anxious about traveling without the safety net and expertise of his parents. This additional problem was just another thing to worry about. As Harry felt the knot in his stomach tighten, so did his grip on Niall’s shoulder.

“Hey,” Niall said, tipping his head back so he was staring (seemingly) straight up Harry’s nostrils, “Are you alright?”

“Just nervous, but I’m good,” he answered before leaning down to press a kiss to Niall’s nose.

“Hey, you missed!”

“Oh, how silly of me,” Harry replied before blowing a wet raspberry into Niall’s lips.

“Much better,” and Niall returned to typing away on his phone but with a bigger smile on his face.

**

Their plane ended up being exactly on time for its half-hour late slot, but Harry felt better when he talked to the nice woman at the counter. She had told him that everyone at the connecting airport would try their hardest to make sure Niall and he got on their flight to Boston. Soon everyone was filing into the plane with Harry and Niall towards the middle of the line. All around them were families and married couples and businessmen. No one was just two teenagers smitten with each other’s’ faces that were about to release their love onto a new set of people. Finally, as Harry walked through the threshold of the plane, he started to feel better. Because there was no turning back and Niall was firmly planted in the seat next to him (he said he would cry if he didn’t get the window) and Harry realized that he didn’t really care what happened as long as Niall was there too.

On the other side of Harry was a stern-looking businessman with a professional-looking laptop and an expensive-looking suit. He hadn’t introduced himself when he sat down (and Harry honestly wondered why the guy was in coach) but he seemed to be too wrapped up in some real-estate disaster to care what the two idiot teenagers next to him did. Harry reveled in this as he really didn’t feel like flying all the way to Baltimore without being at least a _little bit_ cozy with Niall.

As soon as the plane was steadily in the air and that stupid seatbelt light was off, Harry lifted the armrest between them and snuggled against Niall’s shoulder. Businessman next to him had (begrudgingly) gotten off the phone per the flight attendants’ request and busied himself playing CandyCrush Saga on his iPhone. Niall, on the other hand, had been easily distracted by the fields and small towns underneath them. He had been sitting there in silence for nearly the entire time, and Harry would’ve thought he was asleep if not for Niall grabbing Harry’s hand ten minutes in and continuing to rub circles on his wrist.

“Are you doing alright?” Harry leaned over to ask.

Niall pulled himself away from the scene playing out next to him to smile back.

“Yeah, I’m good. Still tired but I’m a bit wired from all the junk I’ve scarfed down so I’ll put off sleeping. Plus don’t want to leave you lonely,”

“I wouldn’t be lonely if you fell asleep. Not when I have Skymall to give me company. You never know! Today might be the day I finally buy the bug vacuum. Or perhaps a clock that also tells me what day of the week it is,”

“Shut up,” Niall giggled, “I’m really not tired,”

He returned to watching the clouds float by beneath them as Harry grabbed the magazine out of the seat in front of him anyways. He sure as hell was not going to pass up a chance to read his favorite in-flight periodical.

“Look, a human sling shot. I can really not imagine anything that could go wrong with that,” he said.

Niall smirked against the window as Harry continued.

“A scooter with a place to hold your backpack? Only the coolest kids can really pull this off,”

“Beer Pager? What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Oh a napkin clip so that you can essentially create a bib for a fully-functioning adult. We should get you one of these, Ni,”

“Wait, shit, I might genuinely want these sweatpants that looks like distressed jeans,”

Before Harry could point out whatever the fuck “Orbitwheels” were, Niall had turned to face him. And he wasn’t laughing anymore.

“I need to talk to you about something,” Niall said with a lower tone than normal.

“Ok, yeah?” Harry responded, stashing the magazine in the pocket in front of him, “Go ahead. You have my attention now,”

“I’ve been thinking…about you meeting my family. And like obviously my parents know about you and so do Greg and his fiancée, Denise. It’s just…I’ve been thinking about everyone else at the wedding. Do I want them to know?”

Niall paused and Harry just nodded for him to continue.

“Not everyone there will be family, and especially not my family. I’ve got grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, and then Denise’s family. And then their close friends. There aren’t going to be a lot of people there, just like 80. But I won’t know all of them. If I wanted to introduce you as my boyfriend it would be to _all_ of them,”

“Ni, you know like I won’t care if I’m ‘just a friend’, right?”

“Fuck, Hare, you shouldn’t have to!” Niall spat out, his voice growing louder from the dull whisper it had been going at. Harry decided then that he didn’t really need to speak, that Niall had already made up his mind – on something _big_. So he just grabbed Niall’s hand and held onto it, in a way he hoped was comforting.

“Sorry,” Niall mumbled, recomposing himself, “It’s just…I’ve been like dragging you through all of this and it’s so shitty of me. There _are_ a lot of reasons why I didn’t want my baseball team to find out, but I need to start trusting people more. I can trust the people at the wedding. I have enough faith that they won’t think lowly of me and they’ll keep it to themselves. So like, at the wedding I’m going to introduce you as my boyfriend? If that’s alright?”

“Niall,” Harry laughed as he leaned down to pick up more snacks from Niall’s bag, “you’re dumb if you think I wouldn’t want to be called your boyfriend,”

**

Soon the farms and mountains below turned into bustling suburbia and eventually Baltimore. As the plane landed they quickly maneuvered their way off, speeding through the airport in order to not miss their next flight.

“If we don’t get on this plane, I’m just warning you, I will cry,” Harry grumbled as they sped-walked past what had to be their third Starbucks.

“Calm down, Jesus,” Niall replied, “I’m not really up for a fit of hysterics in an airport at ten in the morning, thanks,”

All of Harry’s worrying, per usual, seemed to be for naught as their plane was still at the gate when they arrived. Niall just tickled his side as they took their place in line. And even though they couldn’t find two seats together once inside, it wasn’t something a little smooth-talking couldn’t fix.

“I’m sorry, Miss,” Harry said to the woman sitting next to Niall, “but is there any way that you could switch seats with me? This is my boyfriend and we’re on our way to meet his family for the first time and they don’t really approve of us and we’ve barely slept all day…”

“Dear, say no more!” she exasperatedly interrupted, “you are welcome to this seat! I hope you two have luck,”

“And that’s how you do it, Horan,” Harry said, sliding into the aisle seat after the woman had left it.

“Jesus, thank you for giving her a rundown of our relationship. I thought you’d just be like ‘Oh, this guy gets sick on flights. He might throw up. Do you _really_ wanna sit there?’” Niall responded, trying to shove his backpack under his seat again.

“I thought that if she would be willing to give up her seat she should at least hear the truth,” Harry shrugged.

“Wow, what a class act,” Niall replied, nuzzling up against Harry’s shoulder. He lingered there and Harry just continued texting his mom, letting her know what was happening. This was all so normal, just snuggling together and not really questioning it, so Harry hadn’t even noticed that Niall hadn’t stirred in ten minutes. And as the plane took off, Harry peered down to see that Niall had finally fallen asleep.

**

Having your boyfriend fall asleep on you is something that gets easily romanticized. It shows a level of trust and intimacy that isn’t there with normal relationships. And it is romantic, at least for the first ten minutes. Then you’re left wondering when the hell it’s going to end because your shoulder’s starting to stiffen and you’d really like to reach into your bag to get your headphones out. And then you’re wondering if he’s been sleeping long enough to warrant an ‘accidental’ shove. But really, after an hour and a half flight of your boyfriend cutting off circulation in your arm you kinda wonder how you ever fell in love in the first place.

But as much as it pained him, Harry couldn’t wake Niall up. Not when Niall was stressed and tired and (probably) hungry. Not when he was dreading seeing his parents for the first time in months. Not when his face looked so calm and cute. So Harry let him stay there, using his bony shoulder as a pillow, because keeping Niall happy always seemed like the better choice. He only woke once the plane hit the ground again, sitting up quickly in his seat and looking around the cabin frantically.

“What, when did this happen?” Niall asked, his eyes still darting as he massaged out a kink in his neck, “Are we still on the ground?”

“If by ‘still on the ground’ you mean ‘flew hundreds of miles and then got on the ground again’ then yes,” Harry answered.

“Wait, fuck, no. I slept all that time?”

“As much as it quite _literally_ pains me to say this, it’s not really a big deal. You were tired. I didn’t have a problem letting you sleep,” Harry replied with a flip of his wrist.

“No, but, as we were coming in I was gonna point out the window at all the stuff I could identify. And it’d be your first proper look at Boston and it’d be all cool and stuff to see the big skyscrapers and like Fenway before we even get outside. Shit, I messed that up,”

“Ni, we have three days to get me acquainted with the area. I think we’ll be alright,”

**

It didn’t take long for the boys to gather themselves up and trudge off the plane, and before Harry knew it they were already down at baggage claim waiting for Niall’s mom to come pick them up. It seemed that Niall had flown quite a lot considering he was able to get them through the large airport with inspired ease. Still, as they were sitting on a bench watching the happy reunions around them, Harry could feel the tension in the air. Niall was furiously biting at the (now) nibs of nails and Harry felt helpless with no ways to calm him. It wasn’t an ideal situation, not even close, so he just tried to look for a distraction.

“What are the plans for today?” Harry asked, poking around in Niall’s bag to see if there were any snacks left (there weren’t).

“Oh, uh, the rehearsal is tonight at 7. That’ll take like an hour. I guess. I don’t know I’ve never been to one of those before. You’re invited, ‘course. You won’t have anything to do but you can just chill in the back. And then afterwards there’s like a… rehearsal dinner downtown, but I figured we’d skip that,” Niall answered.

“Wait, is that okay? For us to just not go?”

“Yeah, cleared it with Greg a couple of days ago. It’s gonna be a bunch of people from the wedding party and I don’t know them. I’m only in town for a couple of days so Greg told me to go have fun with friends or something. Not to mention I don’t know what the hell you’d do,”

“But you’re his best man…”

“Listen, Harry, stop. It’s fine. This was Greg’s idea. He knows I wouldn’t have fun at the dinner and that I could find something else to do. Don’t worry,” Niall explained, punching Harry in the arm to get him to shut up about it.

“What car did you say your mom drives?” Harry asked.

“A white Chrysler minivan,”

“And she’s a little blonde woman?”

“Yeah, why?”

Harry swung his arm out to point towards a middle-aged blonde getting herself out of her car. Her hair was cut short and she looked kinda tired, but even from that distance Harry could tell she was a Horan.

“Oh my God!” Niall yelled as his mother walked through the door.

The two quickly ran towards each other as Harry hung back. It turned out that Niall hadn’t been lying when he said the Horan family was a close bunch. He and his mother greeted each other with a peck on the lips and a hug that lingered. Their faces were pressed into each other’s necks and it was so cute and intimate that Harry didn’t dare interrupt it.

“Ma, I’ve missed you so much,” Niall murmured against her ear as Harry tried to stifle a giggle. It seemed as though the five seconds Niall spent outside the airport doors had returned him to a thicker Boston accent. Finally, Niall drew back.

“Ma, this is Harry. Harry, this is Ma,” he said, gesturing between them.

“Pleased to meet you, dear. Call me Maura!” she greeted, holding out her hand for a shake.

Harry grabbed it and tried to remember everything his father had ever told him about good greetings, and with a firm grip and a controlled shake he thought his first impression hadn’t been half bad.

“It’s so nice to finally see you,” Harry started, “Niall’s said so much about all of you and I couldn’t wait to see what all the fuss was about,”

“Well aren’t you darling,” Maura responded, poking at his cheek, “but we’ve got to get going, kids, if that’s alright? I’ve got lunch waiting for us to eat at home,”

“Thank Jesus!” Niall yelled out, “I’m starving!”

Harry moved back to their bench to pick up his shoulder bag, grabbing Niall’s duffle in the process, and walked out to the Horan-mobile. As he was shoving the luggage in the trunk, though, he couldn’t help but overhear what Niall said to his mother at the front. It’s not like Niall was ever really quiet.

“I thought Da was coming. That’s what he told me the other night,” and Niall was shuffling his feet.

“He’s busy, honey. There’s lots to do before the wedding and we’re all feeling the stress,”

“You sure it had nothing to do with Harry?”

Harry started fiddling around with the bags at the mention of his name so it looked less like he was eavesdropping.

“Ni, don’t start this now,” Maura warned with a hand placed on his arm, “Don’t be ridiculous. Get in that car, your father will be there when we get home, and we’ll get to eat. Greg will probably be there too, okay? Stop freaking out about this,”

Niall walked around to the passenger seat with his jaw clenched, and Harry knew that look. He hadn’t seen that look many times, but it was Niall’s look of just _worry_. Worry eating at him from all fronts.

“Are you fine back here?” Maura asked as she returned to the trunk.

“Oh, yeah! We’re good! Thanks, though!”

Harry found his way into the middle of the van, and soon everyone was buckled up and they were rolling on to the Horan home.

Niall turned in his seat to say, “We’re taking the tunnel so we’re not gonna really see many sights. We’ll have to wait for another day, I guess,” but after that he seemed to be done talking.

His mom, with what seemed like a natural Horan charisma, took over. She asked Harry about everything from Northwestern to his job in the concession stand, touching on his favorite foods and what he was planning to wear to the wedding. He couldn’t help but notice, though, that his and Niall’s relationship was never talked about. Never even _acknowledged_. All Niall seemed to be able to say was, “Ah, here’s the Charles,” as they passed over a bridge, the ‘A’ stretched beyond what Harry had ever heard come out of his mouth. It seemed that Boston had some sort of magical effect on him. And with the absence of mentions to their relationship hanging over their heads, Harry knew it would be an interesting trip for sure.

**

The Horan’s house was small but cute. They didn’t quite live in Boston city, but in a town about 20 minutes to the north. Niall perked up a bit upon arriving within the town limits, excitedly pointing out his school (St. Andrew’s School for Boys), the baseball fields they frequented when he was younger, and even the supermarket where his dad worked. Their house was small and it looked basically like all the other ones they had passed coming in. There was an empty lot next door and Harry just imagined a smaller Niall playing whiffle ball with his little friends there. It was incredibly adorable, even in Harry’s mind.

“Sorry to be a grump,” Niall mumbled as they both got their bags out of the trunk.

“Like you haven’t seen me being cranky before,” Harry replied, bumping into Niall’s shoulder.

“I know, it’s just-” and then Niall stopped short as a full-grown man threw himself into Niall’s side.

“Greg, you almost gave me a heart attack!” Niall screamed before barking out laughter so loud it rang in Harry’s ears.

“I’m sorry!” the man yelled before pulling Niall into a giant bear hug and nuzzling his neck. It really did seem like the Horan family had a lot less boundaries than others.

Harry had met Greg once before, with the rest of the Horan clan at one of the games they visited for. He had thought then that Niall had held Greg on some sort of unreachable pedestal. The short time the family spent there Niall had laughed at Greg’s every joke and leant into Greg’s side and never really took his eyes off his brother’s face. But there in Boston Harry saw that the infatuation was perhaps a bit more mutual.

“You’ve met Harry, right?” Niall finally asked a half a minute into their hug.

“Yeah, at the game,” Greg replied, still fully wrapped into his brother.

“Well,” Niall continued, finally peeling himself off, “then he was just my friend. But now he’s my _boyfriend_. As my older brother I think it’s your responsibility to scare him into not making a mess upon my innocence or something,”

Just before Greg could make his move, though, a booming voice came from inside the house, tinted with even the tiniest bit of Irish brogue: “What’s all the ruckus outside!”

Niall’s father came bursting through the door, smile bounding across his face as he ran down the front steps and scooping Niall up in his arms as if he was eight, not eighteen.

“Da, put me down. I’m a man, Da. Put me down,” Niall repeated as he hung in his father’s embrace until finally he was lowered.

And then it struck Harry that he was finally face-to-face with his boyfriend’s father, the one who didn’t truly believe Niall was gay. Seemingly didn’t believe their relationship was real. It was awkward.

“Uh, it’s nice to meet you, sir,” Harry said after a few seconds of unwanted silence, extending his hand.

It was awkward when Niall’s dad shook his hand. It was still awkward when he let it go. And it was still awkward when no one knew what to say afterwards. And it was _still_ awkward when Maura came back outside to tell them that lunch was ready, ushering them inside.

Niall’s house was rather different to Harry. It still had wood paneling from the 70’s in the living room ( _parlor_ as Maura called it) and there was a sunroom even though he wasn’t sure how much sun Boston had during the winter (which he was sure lasted from October until, like, April). He was more used to the Floridian homes that he had grown up in. All of them looked rather the same with their tiled floors and their high ceilings, palm trees planted out front and an enclosed pool in the back. Even as he moved to Michigan, Harry felt that his home was rather boring. Though his mom and sister had lived there bordering on two years, the walls were stark white and the carpet wasn’t much different. It was as if there wasn’t any personality. The Horans obviously weren’t like that. There were pictures everywhere and each room was painted a different bright color. It felt like seeing a part of Niall that had always been hidden, like the real Niall that got masked in Michigan. One with a strong accent and a complicated past with his family.

“Nialler, go upstairs and show Harry where to put your bags. But be quick because lunch is out and we’re ready to eat!” Maura said before returning to a room in the back of the house.

“Come on, I’ll show you where the magic happens,” Niall said with a wink before turning to run up the stairs, his duffle bouncing along each step.

Harry followed Niall’s voice to a small room in the front of the house. Niall hadn’t really described much about his room, but it seemed pretty normal to Harry. It had red walls, with the one by the bed nearly entirely covered by posters and cards and magazine cutouts of famous baseball players. There was a guitar stand in the corner that seemed to be lonely without its buddy and a shelf above the closet held all of Niall’s trophies (and there were a lot). But most striking was the bed settled against the far wall, and just how _small_ it was.

“Ni, uh,” Harry started as Niall threw his bag onto the twin-sized bed, “where am I am expected to sleep?”

“Well, let’s see. My parents probably want you to sleep downstairs on the couch,” Niall said as he wrapped Harry in his arms and pulled him forwards, “but I’m kind of _expecting_ you to sleep in here,”

“Like, on the floor?” Harry asked as Niall started mouthing at the collarbone beneath his shirt, and he could feel the giggle form in Niall’s throat before he could hear it.

“Okay, I get we’ve had a long day but are you seriously _that stupid_ to not get I want you in bed like, I don’t know, every single other night we spend together?”

“Ni, that’s not a bed. That’s a balance beam! How are we both fitting on that?”

“You see, I thought that considering our idea of personal space is non-existent it really wouldn’t be a problem. I’ll just hug you closer and we’ll make it work, alright? If someone’s smashed against the wall, then at least we’ll be uncomfortable together,”

“Okay, fine. You’ve sold me. Shouldn’t we be heading back down?” Harry rushed, remembering the way Niall’s dad had looked at him. With a scrunched brow and disbelieving eyes.

“Wait, just,” Niall said as he tucked even more against Harry, “can we stay up here for like a minute more. I need to catch my breath,”

“Yeah, anything,” Harry said, smoothing his hand over Niall’s back.

“I can handle my family. I’ll be alright and I know it, but it’s a lot to take in at once. I can already feel questions bubbling up in my dad. He’s ready to burst and I’m not sure I want to be there when he does. But I won’t leave you two alone, okay? It’s not like he’s gonna hurt you or something, but I don’t think him letting you come is example enough of his changed ways. I’m waiting to be proved right,”

“That’s fine, Ni. Whatever you need, I’m right here,”

“I’ve been okay so far. Even in the car, I just needed to not do anything stupid so I stayed quiet. But if it ever gets to be too much, I’ll let you know, okay? And you do the same. If anything gets too weird or you’re uncomfortable, let me know. I don’t care how, just do,”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about me, though. You do that too often,”

Then Maura’s voice rang from downstairs, “Lunch is ready _now_ , not in five minutes! If you want to eat come downstairs _now_!”

“Okay, I’m good now. Promise,” Niall said, smoothing over his hair so it looked less like Harry had been ruffling it, “Now we need to go eat before I literally keel over and die because that’s what it feels like now,”

**

The rest of the family was already sitting around the table when the two boys arrived at the kitchen. It was a cute little room with large windows and mismatched cabinets. Even the refrigerator was oddly endearing as it was littered with newspaper clippings from Braxton (and some even from the local paper dating back to when Niall was still in high school) as well as family pictures. On the table were a variety of breads and lunch meats, and although Harry had visions in his head of the home-cooked Irish stew Niall had so often talked, any food was welcome at that point.

Niall grabbed a stool that was resting near a wall and brought it to the table, letting Harry sit on the chair nearest the fridge. Harry made himself a ham and swiss sandwich, but he wasn’t even half-way through it when the conversation turned awkward. Greg and he had been discussing Denise and how she was getting arrangements ready at her home when Niall’s dad interrupted.

“So, Ni, have you heard from any of your friends since getting into town?” he asked.

“Yeah, ‘ve been talking to Sean all day. Dylan just woke up, the ejit, but he’s happy to hear I’m back too,” Niall responded.

“How about Holly? Hear from her?”

With that Niall froze.

“Bobby, stop it!” Maura whispered, though not soft enough.

“Saw her at work the other day. She got a haircut, looks good!”

“Dad, please. This is dumb,” Greg said, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. Harry was confused, but next to him Niall had his hand clenched in a fist and refused to look up. Whatever was happening, Harry didn’t really feel like he wanted to be a part of it.

“Oh, Harry. You look confused,” his dad started, “Has Niall never told you about Holly? He should have, he went out with her longer than he’s been-”

“That’s enough!” Niall yelled, and as Harry looked over again he could see what it was like when Niall was full of pure anger. Lips pursed and cheeks flushed, body rigid with anticipation. There was a long pause where no one wanted to say anything and the tension was so thick that Harry felt he was choking on it.

“I don’t know how often I can explain this to you!” Niall started up again, “Just because I liked Holly in the past. Just because she was a _chick_ doesn’t lessen the relationship I have with Harry, alright? I liked Holly then and I like Harry now and you’re the only one here who seems to have a problem with it!”

“Oh, is that what your mother said?”

“Bobby, don’t start this now!”

“We can’t even eat fucking sandwiches without disrupting into chaos!”

“…says it’s unnatural. She doesn’t understand…”

“I don’t know why you have to bring this up every time!”

“I’ve been trying to understand, honestly! This is just new and…”

“Maura, I don’t know why you’re backtracking…”

“Niall, please. I love you. With all of my heart, dear,”

“Dad, why did you have to bring this up? Now? Ever?”

“I don’t understand why you hate everyone I choose to love! Do I need to remind you what you thought of Holly when I first brought her home? You were insufferable!”

“We all just need to settle down. Talk calmly about this,”

It was a fiery commotion of explosive hand gestures and raised voices. Harry was getting lost in the chaos of it all, unable to keep track of what everyone was saying. He felt belittled and scared, but most importantly he felt like he didn’t belong. That while this fight was, in a way, over him, he really didn’t have a right to be there. He had nothing to say and his presence was obviously only stirring unsettled feelings up.

“It’s fine. I can go. I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” Harry said, speaking for the first time since the fighting erupted. But as he moved to get out of his seat he felt a hand dig into his thigh, and he looked over to see that Niall had gone pale. Well, paler than usual.

“I’ve got to get going!” Niall’s dad finally screamed out, bringing the kitchen to a stand-still, “There is some stuff I need to see to down at the church. I will see you all later,” and he was gone before a single ‘good bye’ could be muttered.

Maura left the table quickly, not wanting to wait for the inevitable awkward silence to follow. She cleared the table of all the plates she could and busied herself at the sink washing them, leaving the three boys alone at the table.

“Ni, do you wanna go for a walk?” Greg asked, reaching across the table for Niall, “Around the pond? Just me and you? Like old times?”

“Yeah…yeah we can do that,” he responded before leaning in close to Harry, “Is that alright?”

“Come on, Ni. You don’t need to ask my permission,” he replied with a smile, “Plus I should take a nap. I’ll use your bed while you’re gone, yeah?”

Niall waited a few seconds, rubbing his thumb over the back of Harry’s neck, before swooping in to steal a kiss. It was quick and sweet, but it was the most they had done since arriving in Boston. It felt nice.

“Thanks,” Niall muttered as he pressed their foreheads together.

**

Harry tried to sleep, tried his hardest but it just wouldn’t work. Niall’s bed was comfortable (even if small) and he was pretty tired, but it felt wrong sleeping in Niall’s home without him. So he just lay on the bed, waiting for either sleep or boredom to finally overcome him. Eventually, the door behind him creaked open and he rolled over to the other side, only to see Maura walk into the room.

“Oh, Harry dear, I’m sorry! Did I wake you? I can leave,” she said, already trying to retreat.

“No, no, it’s fine. I never really got to sleep,” he replied, sitting up against the headboard, “Did you need something?”

“Well I just thought since you had to take your suit on the plane that it might be wrinkled. I was going to iron it for you,”

“Yeah, it probably is. But I can take care of it. It’s no big deal,”

“No, I’ll do it. You can come help, though. I mean, if you’d like,”

**

Harry followed Maura back to the master bedroom: pink and full of ruffles and flowers. He expected to sit there in silence again, neither knowing what to say. Trying to not step on toes or bringing up sore topics. He was wrong.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” Maura said as she started to pull his suit of its garment bag.

“It’s alright-”

“No, Harry, it’s not. It’s not alright and I don’t want you to think it is,”

Harry was sitting on his hands, on top of the bed in their room. He was suddenly struck with the feeling that he wasn’t really meant to do the talking.

“Niall told us he…wasn’t exactly 100% straight when he was quite young. He was ten and he proclaimed he was in love with his teacher, Mr. Mackey. Bobby and I…we thought he was confused. Because he had so often talked about girls he liked and he was always chasing after them, the heartbreaker. I thought maybe he was going through an attention thing? Greg was doing more and more in school and was letting him tag along less. I had gotten a new job, Bobby had changed shifts. We thought it was just something to get us to notice him more, but while Niall was certainly _loud_ and _demanding_ he never really pushed our boundaries to make us pay him more attention,”

She never stopped ironing over Harry’s black suit, even as her voice got shakier.

“And we would forget about it all the time, always thinking that Niall finally let it go. But then he’d mention a new crush he had and he’d avoid using gender-specific pronouns. Or his gaze would linger on someone on the TV and it wouldn’t be a girl. He… stopped drawing attention to it but it was obvious, at least to me, that he was still feeling the same. I couldn’t accept it, though. He was always a normal kid. Bright eyes and pale skin and a little strange, but always my normal little Niall. I just couldn’t believe that he would be different, you know?”

She finally looked up to meet Harry’s eyes, and he nodded even though he wasn’t quite sure what he was nodding at.

“He told us about you, right before we even came to visit. He was just going on and on about all the people we would meet. Of course he talked about his teammates and his coaches, but there was also Liam ‘the genuine’ and Zayn ‘the cuddly’. Oh, and Louis! He would not shut up about Louis, my word! _He’s so funny, Ma. You should hear the jokes he tells you’d just be rolling_. But then there was ‘Harry’, and as much as he told you two were just as good of friends as the rest of you, but he talked about you different. He said your name like it was forbidden. He didn’t talk about what you did, rather how you made him feel. You were _always_ making him laugh, apparently. And you always made him feel comfortable and welcome. It’s indescribable, really,”

“He really said that?” Harry asked.

“Oh, yes! If you like that you should’ve heard what he said about you that night he called us to ask if you could come. I wish I could remember what he said exactly, but I can’t. It wasn’t really a surprise to me, really, when he said those words: _I want Harry to come with me. As my plus one. As my date. As my boyfriend._ He spoke really quickly afterwards, like he had to get out his thoughts before we pummeled them into the ground. That you were sweet and funny and caring, that your family was so important to you. He said that whenever you two were separated all he did was think about how different it would be if you were there. How you could make a boring bus ride more fun with an phone call, or make a grueling workout worth it, if only he could get to see your face at the end. He mentioned something about you making good eggs, better than any personal chef. I… I got it then. That you and he were real, I just didn’t know how to say it, but I can say it now. I can see it. I promise you, Harry, I believe that you and Niall are real, are a real thing. Just because Bobby’s a little slower at it… it doesn’t mean he won’t come around. This is new for us, just let it sink in. Oh please tell me you understand what I’m saying because I’m afraid I’m babbling now,”

**

Niall and Greg returned nearly an hour and a half after they had left, with ice cream stickiness suspiciously spread across their faces.

“We would’ve brought you back some but we didn’t want it to melt,” Niall said as he jumped onto the bed beside Harry. He had retreated back there after Maura had finished his suit. By that point he had abandoned the idea of sleeping completely and had instead called his mom.

“So what did you two talk about?” Harry asked.

“Well, I wouldn’t really call it _talking_. We just kinda walked in silence back to this reservoir thing that we used to frequent. Then once we were far enough away from other houses I just kind of… screamed. For a while,” Niall replied.

“Sounds productive,”

“It was, though. I’ve been bottling all this shit up for so long-”

“No, really? You don’t say?”

“I just… I just screamed. And I didn’t stop until I wanted to. Greg didn’t tell me to keep it down or to use my words or say that I was being irrational. He just let me scream and I felt like I had control for the first time in what seems like forever. No one was there to silence me or tell me I was doing something wrong. It’s what I needed. Then afterwards Greg just talked with me, and we didn’t always talk about the shitfest that just happened, but we did for a bit. He made me feel so much better. He basically said that he and Denise were so happy to find out about you, and that we are always welcome to their apartment down in Dorchester. Not the nicest neighborhood but apparently they have two bedrooms so,”

Harry smiled and snuggled into Niall’s side, resting his head on Niall’s shoulder. As if it were a reflex, Niall brought his arm around Harry’s back to pull him closer.

“So you think you’re feeling better now?” Harry asked as he reached up to thread his fingers through Niall’s hair.

“Yeah, Greg just told me not to pay much attention to it. That Dad will come around sooner or later. My dad’s a lot of things, and a lot of those things are bad, but he’s not a man that’s above admitting he’s wrong,”

“I hope so,” Harry said, pressing a kiss behind Niall’s ear.

“I just wish I had your parents,”

Harry tried his hardest to suppress his laugh, “What? Like my angel of a father who tried to throw me out because he found out I was gay? That’s what you want?”

“No…” Niall chuckled, “But like, your mom is great. I haven’t really talked to her that much, but when I do I can just tell she loves you and is proud of you for everything you do. You know when she dropped us off at the airport and she gave me a hug? The entire time she just stood there repeating “thank you thank you thank you”. Her ability to love just… amazes me,”

“She actually said that?”

“No, Curly. Because that’s a thing I’d really make up, Jesus Christ,”

“Just… don’t sell your own family short, alright? Your mom found me after you guys left and offered to iron my suit. The entire time I was in there with her she just… well I think she was talking to me because I was there and willing to listen and I was partially involved in the reason for the fight and it’s easier to talk about something so hard to me. But there’s this side to your mom that I think even she doesn’t know she has. Basically what I’m trying to say is I’m glad she talked to me earlier, but I really think she should have been talking to you,”

**

Denise was nice. She had arrived at the house at a quarter to six, bringing with her Niall’s grandma who had just flown in from Ireland.

“You’re Harry!” Denise nearly yelled as soon as she was through the door, “Oh my, it’s so good to finally meet you!”

She grabbed him quickly and pulled him into a fierce hug. Her hair was bleached blonde and her skin was soft and white. Really everything about her just screamed _Niall_ , so Harry really had nothing bad to say about Greg’s choice of wife.

The four of them (Harry, Niall, Greg, and Denise) sat around the kitchen table, which only hours earlier had been a battleground, and talked. Niall really came into his element, then, as it seemed like he was really open and comfortable around Denise. He indulged her with story after story of what had occurred in his life since the last time they had talked (which seemed to have been a while back). She heard about his homeruns and the fireworks over the stadium on special nights and Splash World and saying goodbye to best friends. But with a hand splayed on Harry’s knee, Niall, for once, didn’t mind talking about _Harry and Niall_ things. Like going to the mini-golf place or ‘hanging out’ after Harry got his wisdom teeth out.

This was something new: Niall speaking openly and without hesitation about his and Harry’s relationship. It wasn’t even a thing he could do with the other boys, but there was something about that day that just made Niall stop giving a fuck. Harry didn’t know if it was some sort of act of defiance, or possibly even just seeing the ease Greg and Denise possessed was enough to show Niall that not everything in their relationship had to be kept between them.

**

The rehearsal was… different than what Harry had expected. Greg and Denise drove them to the church, in the town where Denise had grown up. Harry hadn’t been in a church in years, probably at least twelve. It had really been his mother’s thing – randomly going to mass whenever she felt the Catholic Guilt coming on. Once she left, he was left with a Jewish dad who didn’t give a shit about the synagogue.

“What do you think the chances are of a gay atheist being struck by lightning when he enters a church?” he asked Niall as they walked from the parking lot to the entry hall.

“Considering it hasn’t happened to me yet, I think we’re okay,”

Inside, the church was vastly different from the one Harry had been to in his youth. It was old with large frescoes and intricate stained-glass windows. His mother’s in Jacksonville had been brand new; one of those ‘modern’ churches with hundreds of people at each mass, where you could wear jeans and no one would judge you.

Even though Harry guessed she had been there many, many times before, Denise still entered the church and looked around in wonder. She seemed amazed that the church that she had gone to all her life was going to host her wedding the next night. Harry moved to take a seat in the last pew. He wasn’t really sure what he was going to do while the rehearsal went on, perhaps text Zayn and see how he was doing? Or maybe play another rousing game of _Angry Birds_? Maybe nap? Denise was having none of that.

She squeezed next to him on the wooden bench and looked up at him with doe eyes, “What are you doing?”

“I’m… just sitting here. I don’t have a role in the wedding. I don’t have anything to do,” he responded.

“You don’t have a role in the _wedding_ , but you do have one in the rehearsal!” she said excitedly, but after Harry stared back not-so-excitedly she continued, “Someone in the wedding party can’t get here until late tonight so we need you to fill their role. Think you can do that? Promise it won’t be hard!”

Harry really didn’t want to, but at that moment Denise was his favorite person in the world. Well, not _favorite_ because Niall kinda ceremoniously held that spot, but she was up there. She had been nothing but kind, inviting, and genuine towards Harry since they met two hours before, so he just couldn’t say no. And that’s how Harry found himself in the role of a bridesmaid named Ginny.

Denise explained that all he had to really do was walk down the aisle on the arm of one of the men of honor – Chuck. Except once Harry was given a role, he never really half-assed it. He wasn’t Harry anymore, he _was_ Ginny. He held his invisible bouquet and walked on his invisible heels (which hurt his very real calves) and swooshed his invisible dress. He even managed to make flirty eyes with the Best Man, even if he had a very sexy and intelligent boyfriend who seemed to have gone missing. It didn’t take Niall very long to break down laughing, bringing the rehearsal to a halt until composure could be restored.

“There’s a reason you don’t have a role in the wedding,” Denise said once it was finally over and everyone was mingling outside the church. Harry would have felt bad if she hadn’t started smiling immediately, running over to Greg to give him a peck on the cheek.

“I think I’m dumping you,” Harry said as Niall sidled up next to him, “I’m gonna marry Denise. She’s nicer to me,”

“I think she’s getting married, actually? And to someone not as smelly as you. How crazy is that?” Niall replied.

“You see, I’ve already got that planned out. I’m gonna do one of those “speak now” moments and I’m gonna carry her out the door to a horse I’ve strategically placed out there. And we’ll ride off into the sunset… and I do not smell!” Harry yelled as he pushed Niall’s head into his armpit. Niall giggled as he strained against the hold, but Harry finally let up when he saw Bobby looking over at them. As Niall’s head resurfaced from the folds of Harry’s shirt, he followed Harry’s gaze to what made him stop so suddenly.

“I talked to him today,” Niall said suddenly, “In the church, when we were back behind-the-scenes for a few minutes. Greg, Denise, and the priest were talking about something and Dad just kept on trying to ask me questions. Like, innocent ones. Like what I had done with the rest of the day and what my plans were for tonight and things like that. I just… stared at him. Because he didn’t really deserve an answer from me,”

“Oh,” was all Harry could say.

“And then he apologized. It wasn’t like a big thing. Just a simple “I’m sorry”, but honestly it was enough. At least for the time being. Because my dad doesn’t really apologize unless he wants to. It’s the stubborn of the Irish in him, I guess. What I’m trying to say is that I think he realized he messed up. That’s a step, it really is,”

Before Harry could respond, a beat-up clunker of a car pulled up in front of the church and Niall took off running towards it screaming “Seany!!!!!!” at the top of his lungs.

A boy ran out of the car seemingly the second it was in park, and he met Niall half-way as they hugged each other. Harry faintly remembered a Sean, but Niall usually kept talk of his friends back home to a minimum. Usually Harry only heard about them through snippets of stories, such as “and then Sean had to hold up my head from the toilet as I threw up the fish, it was horrible!”

“Haz!” Niall yelled as Harry snapped his attention back to the present, “Come meet Sean!”

Harry shuffled over to Niall’s side and extended his hand to Sean, who then pushed it away and pulled him into a hug. He didn’t know if it was Boston, or maybe even prolonged exposure to Niall, but something about everyone Niall knew made them very touchy-feely people.

“So this is him, eh? I don’t get what all the fuss is about. He’s not _that_ good looking,” Sean said with a wink.

“That’s because you’ve only seen him with his clothes on,” Niall replied. Harry just turned his head quickly to gape at Niall because really? _Really_? Luckily Sean just laughed at clapped him on the shoulder, ushering all of them into his car because “they had places to be”.

**

“Places to be” apparently meant a house party hosted by another one of Niall’s friends, a younger kid by the name of “Darragh”.

“Just call me Darren, okay? Niall’s okay with his parents’ shitty naming skills but I’m not,” he had said at their first introduction. Soon behind him was another kid that Harry recognized from one of Niall’s many stories of underage drinking and debauchery. 

“I’m Dylan,” the kid said as he handled Harry a Solo cup full of God knows what, “the kitchen’s in the back and it’s full of the good stuff. Help yourself. Try not to throw up, D’s mom just got some new carpet,”

Even though they hadn’t been at the party for very long, Niall fell into the middle of it with ease. It was as if his prolonged absence from his friends’ lives hadn’t even happened. He won the first game of beer pong he joined (and second and third and fourth), his downed a bottle of Carlsberg like it was water, he started a rousing acapella rendition of “Piano Man” that had even Harry joining. It wasn’t until he fell onto a couch and pulled Harry on top of him that Niall showed any signs of slowing.

“You having fun?” Niall asked, his mouth dangerously close to Harry’s ear.

“Yeah,” Harry replied, leaning in closer. It wasn’t even a lie; he had forgotten how much fun a house party could be when you barely knew anyone. Watching people you had only just met get shitfaced and sloppy, and not even feeling like you had a responsibility to look after them, “You drunk?” he asked.

“Nah, just happy,” Niall said as he moved one hand under Harry’s shirt and the other to the back of his head, pulling him forward until they were full-on making out on a near-stranger’s couch. At least until a pillow hit them in their faces.

“No one wants to see that!” Darren yelled from across the room.

“We’ve had a really bad and long day!” Niall yelled back.

“Go have a bad-fucking-day in the back yard then, jeez. I don’t need no mystery stains on my mom’s new couch!”

Niall huffed a laugh into Harry’s shoulder before pushing him off. He then took Harry’s hand an led him back into the garden, where the rain had kept the partygoers away.

“Where should we go, then?” Harry asked.

“I don’t know, pick a spot on the grass. Any spot on the grass! Just for you!”

So Harry plopped down on a soft-looking spot between a rose bush and an above-ground pool. Niall just toppled back down on him and picked up where he had left off. Niall’s hands took turns roaming through Harry’s hair and roving over his body, until one finally settled on Harry’s hip. He stayed there, playing around with the elastic of Harry’s underwear. And Harry knew that Niall would never go anywhere with it, not in public and not in his best friend’s back yard in the middle of a party, but suddenly Harry found himself getting more and more lost in the feeling of the grass on his back and the white noise of the party. Then he felt his lips stop moving against Niall’s and it just felt like there was a nameless mass above him.

“Harry?” Niall asked as Harry snapped back to attention with incredible speed, “Did you just fall asleep?”

“No, no, no!” Harry denied immediately, but then he thought about it and… “Okay, maybe just for like a second?”

“Jesus,” Niall laughed into Harry’s collarbone.

“Remember how you said back there that we’ve had a bad and long day? Like it _really was_ long and I’ve been trying to sleep all day but it hasn’t been working. I need sleep,”

“Fine, Curly! No need to tell me twice!” Niall said as he pushed himself off the ground, and then dragging Harry along with him.

The two of them went inside and found Darren to tell him that they were leaving. “Bunch of assholes you are, leaving the party half-way through,” Niall just flipped him off as they left through the front door.

“Wait, Ni, how are we getting home?” Harry asked as the two of them stumbled down the front path.

“We’re walking!”

“Okay, like, do I need to remind you of when I said I was tired? How fucking long will it be?”

“Oh, look who’s grumpy! Not that long, only like an hour!” Niall said with a fucking annoying smile.

“I will literally lie down right now and sleep until sunrise. I’m not kidding, Niall Horan!” Harry was practically yelling now.

“Oh, shush. If you get tired I’ll carry you, alright?”

Harry stopped and held his arms out with a pout, hoping that Niall would already feel like taking him up on that offer. Instead Niall laughed and kept walking, his hands deep in his pockets.

“My friends like you, you know? They say you’re really funny and they get why I like you,” Niall said.

“Did you think they wouldn’t?”

“No… not really. But it’s like I couldn’t be sure because like everyone else in my life they were used to me making out with girls… most of the time,”

“Oh, how you make a boy feel special!”

“Shut up! It’s just that, you know, we came from a Catholic upbringing. We weren’t used to guys making out with other guys because, like, we weren’t supposed to allow it. They get it, that our relationship isn’t any different because we’re both guys,”

“I’m glad,” Harry replied, bumping into Niall’s shoulder. And then Niall stopped in the middle of the road. “What’s going on?”

“We’re home, you turd!” Niall said as he pointed to the house behind him, which _did_ look suspiciously like the Horan house.

“So like, Darren lives…”

“…four houses away, yeah. Why the hell did you think we were walking home? Like I would walk for an hour, Jesus,”

Niall grabbed Harry’s hand and led him up to the house. The front door was unlocked but no lights were on in the house.

“Everyone’s already asleep, I think,” Niall whispered as he kicked his shoes off in the sunroom, “Come on, let’s get to bed,”

Harry considered taking turns with Niall in the bathroom, but they ended up just having one piss while the other brushed his teeth so that they could save time and get to bed.

“Fuck, I’ve never been so tired at midnight in my life,” Harry moaned as he lay down on the bed.

“Move over, Curly. I’m sleeping on the outside,” Niall demanded.

“You’re the one making me share this tiny-ass bed with you! I think I deserve the outside!”

“I have to get up first!”

“So!”

“I’ll let you be the little spoon!” Niall finally whisper-screamed, and Harry finally conceded.

“I don’t know why you always want to be the little spoon so bad,” Niall said as he laid down next to Harry and pressed a kiss to the hairline on his neck.

“Because you do that, idiot,”

Niall’s hand started to rub a slow circle over Harry’s stomach, and he stretched into Harry’s back.

“Go to sleep now. Tomorrow we have a lot of shit to do,”

So Harry finally fell asleep, after trying so many times that day, and even though things had gone wrong and not everything was perfect, he didn’t feel like he regretted that day at all.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bottle of wine had long been forgotten and now they were just getting drunk off of each other. The smell of their colognes and the feel of their palms pressed together. The sound of how their breathing naturally matched up. It wasn’t the first time Harry felt in sync with Niall, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last.

The next morning Harry woke up to a Horan staring at him, it just wasn’t the one he expected.

“You lazy sod, why are you still in bed?” he heard, and then suddenly a pillow was softly hitting him in the face.

After a few incoherent mumblings Harry finally sat up to see Granny Horan standing by the door wearing a nice, red dress. The two of them hadn’t really interacted that much, but Niall had sure said enough about her for Harry to get a good idea. She lived in Ireland, and  really was Irish through and through. And if there was one thing she loved more than her family, it was knitting. Niall was nearly bursting at the seams he was so excited to show Harry his collection of hand-knit scarves from her.

“Get up! We’ve got a wedding today!” she yelled again.

“It’s…” Harry started, failing to find an alarm clock, “Where’s Niall?”

“Woke up near hour and a half ago, like a good boy! Off with his brother to get everything for the wedding!”

Her voice was small but her energy mixed with her accent made her tenacious. Harry kinda liked it.

“Uh… if you can just leave I’ll go get ready…”

“Oh, are we not presentable yet?” she jested.

“It’s just…” and Harry really, really didn’t want to say it. Really, really didn’t want to say that he was half-naked in her grandson’s bed. Really.

“Put some trousers on, ya nutter,” she said before closing the door. Harry never had been so relieved to hear a click in his life. And he also couldn’t understand why she seemed to be so understanding, when her own son couldn’t say the same.

Harry quickly crept out of the bed, cursing Niall who had assured him the night before that the door was locked and no one could get in. Not wanting to get changed into the suit he would wear to the wedding quite yet, and similarly not wanting to dirty clothes he had packed, Harry searched around in Niall’s dresser for something to wear. He found a pair of a basketball shorts and a tank top that weren’t too small on him, and as he descended the stairs he hoped no one would notice who the clothes belonged to.

He sat down at the kitchen table and dove into a breakfast that seemed to be left for him. There were a few pieces of toast, sausage, a fried egg, and something black that he was sure as hell not touching. Harry was a creature of habit, and he liked to start every morning with a banana and a bowl of Frosted Flakes. It had been a long time since he woke himself up with a nice, cooked breakfast and a steaming cup of tea. It seemed that the Horans wouldn’t let that do.

Around him people were filing about, trying to get ready for the busy day ahead. Greg and Niall were missing while their father took laps around the house, talking to seemingly every wedding vendor in Boston. The grandmother kept on flitting in and out of the kitchen, stopping every time to wink at Harry and make sure his breakfast was warm enough. Maura was the only one to really stop to talk to him.

“Oh, Harry! You’re up!” she said excitedly, entering the room from the back porch with an armful of floppy hats.

“Yeah… did no one want to wake me up earlier?” Harry asked.

“Dear, the wedding doesn’t start until three. It’s not yet eleven! You have plenty of time to get ready! There was no need for you to get up yet,”

“Yeah, it’s just…”

“Niall’s fine. He and Greg are out making sure their suits and everything are alright. Don’t need to worry about him,” she answered an unasked question, busying herself with dishes that were piling up in the sink, “So, did you sleep well?”

“Yeah! It was… comfortable,” Harry responded, trying not to linger on their sleeping situation too long. Considering he and Niall shared an all-too-small bed just hours before.

“How’s the fry up? Niall’s nanny made it, just for you. Said you needed the full Irish experience,”

“Oh, it’s um, well it’s good. I’m just not quite sure what half of it is,”

“Trust me, if you don’t know what it is, just don’t eat it,” she said, laughing to herself, “When Bobby and I first got together she came for a visit and cooked me a nice, authentic dinner. Wouldn’t tell me what a single thing was, though, and Bobby was gone at work. Felt like I was gambling with my life! I don’t even want to _tell you_ what the black thing is,”

Harry was suddenly incredibly glad he had avoided that section of his plate. Just then Maura stepped back to look at the wall clock and gave a small jump.

“Oh, dear, I’ve got to run over to see Denise. Are you alright? Do you need anything before I leave?”

“Is it alright if I shower?” he asked. Maura stopped on her way out the door to just gawk at him.

“Harry, dear lord, you don’t need to ask permission to _bathe_! You know where the bathroom is! Towels are in the linen closet next to the sink!” and then she was gone.

**

Harry took his time getting ready. While the rest of the family rushed about, he was obviously in no hurry to get anywhere. Someone pulled him aside to tell him to be ready by two, that Niall’s aunt would be driving him over to the church along with Niall’s cousin and granny. But that was a long way off and he was going to just relax, for the first time in what felt like forever. He gingerly ate his breakfast, getting an extra mug of tea to drink while reading the paper. Afterwards he hopped in the shower. The soap and shampoo inside smelled like the kind Niall still used; he obviously didn’t like change either. The scent was like plain _clean_ and a hint of lemon. It was a girlier brand, a far cry from the Axe and Old Spice that littered the aisles Harry’s mom shopped in. It was kind of refreshing for Harry, to get that little burst of citrus whenever he snuggled into Niall’s hair. A scent that reminded him of warmth and sweetness and tight little hugs.

After the shower he got back into Niall’s room, but didn’t immediately get dressed. Instead, he wrapped the towel around his waist and checked his phone. There was a missed call from his mom and a few texts from friends. He answered them all, telling people that Boston was fun and Niall’s parents were nice and the city was beautiful. There was a tad bit of exaggeration, but honestly everything was going _alright_ and that seemed to be enough. The final text was a bit of a surprise, as it was from Carl. Harry just forgot about it and got dressed finally.

The suit was nice, if simple. He had bought it for his senior prom, when he went with all of his best friends in one giant limo. It was just a classic black suit with a white shirt and black tie. Nothing too fancy, but nice enough for the event. Really, Harry thought he looked quite handsome in it. It had been a tad expensive, but now that he had to really impress in front of some Very Important Loved Ones, he felt confident that it was give off a good impression. He looked classic and smart, and he was totally into it. With a quick swoop through his hair, he felt ready for the day and went back downstairs.

Through his time in the shower and in Niall’s room Harry had lost track of who had gone and came into the house. There was still a bit of time left before he would be rounded up and driven to the church, so he tried to busy himself. The only way he could think of was by staring at the tons of pictures that adorned the wall in the living room. Pictures of the family and of friends, even a few of some vacation destinations they must have gone to. No event seemed to be too small to not cherish for that family. Even though the two looked remarkably alike, Harry was able to tell Niall and Greg apart. There was something in the nose or the cheeks that just differentiated them. And really it didn’t surprise Harry at all that Niall just happened to be a goddamn adorable child. His brown hair looked light and fluffy and his skin was milky with splotches of red. Little and round with tiny fists and big, blue eyes. He had a face that every mother would just fall in love with.

“That’s his cousin,” said a voice booming from behind Harry. He spun around quickly to see Bobby standing behind him. Up close he looked bigger and even more intimidating, but his face had a smile plastered across it and his eyes looked exactly like Niall’s. Sparkling, bright, cheery, comforting. His hand was pointing to one of the pictures in front of Harry’s face, of a young Niall leaning close to a little girl in a baby seat.

“And that,” he continued, pointing to a picture a bit further down of Niall in a green jersey, “is from when we went to Ireland. I took him and Greg to a football game down in Dublin, they were both so into it. I was a bit sad when they chose baseball instead, but everything worked out fine,”

Harry nodded along, not really knowing what else to say. This was so out of the blue, so out of left field that Harry felt lost. He hadn’t even known that Bobby was home, hadn’t even known that he would want to talk at all. Bobby seemed to be less confused, though, and he just continued on.

“Ha, he was only a few months old here! Always used to tuck his hands behind his head when he slept. Looked like a lazy bum… This one’s from when he was in _Oliver_! The kid could really belt out those songs… He used to love that plastic guitar. Got it for Christmas when he was five, I think? We couldn’t get him to shut up with it, really. But he loved singing so much you so it wouldn’t really bother you. Thought he’d be a singer for the longest time, actually. Just found baseball first,”

“Yeah, I’ve heard him play,” Harry said trying to calm his shaky nerves. If Bobby could strike up a conversation, well so could he, “He’s so good. Don’t think he believes it, though,”

“That’s good. Won’t get a big head,”

Harry nodded again.

“He doesn’t have a big head, right? He stays grounded out there?” Bobby asked, flicking his eyes to meet Harry’s. A look of genuine concern crossed his face.

“No! God, I’ve never met someone more carefree and humble than Niall. I wish I had his ability to frankly enjoy and care for everyone surrounding me. He has so much heart to give. Never wants to focus on himself, always on others or just the team as a whole. He just… he loves his teammates more than anything in the world,”

“I’d doubt that…” Bobby said, and it made Harry’s ears perk “but he’s been good, right? I don’t need to worry about him?”

“No, sir. He’s happy, he’s got a good thing going, surrounded by people he loves. He’s loved,”

“Good,” Bobby said, setting his jaw “I see nothing’s changed,”

Harry wasn’t sure what to do. He was enjoying his conversation with Bobby, even if it was a tad awkward, but at least the two were seeing eye to eye. It seemed as if they were finally meeting in the middle to gush over the one thing in life that they loved more than all the rest: Niall.

“This, gosh, this was taken during Niall’s soldier phase,” Bobby continued as he tried to recompose his thoughts, “Wore that thing every day. Told me he’d go fight for the homeland, talking about Ireland, obviously. I told him he’d do no such thing. Crazy bugger just thought it’d be what I wanted,”

Harry laughed at that, knowing the lengths Niall would go for the people he loved. Death, even.

“And this one,” Bobby said, pointing to a picture of a young Niall flipping a crepe in a pan, “he was such a little chef. Maura and I were gone a lot at work, so he had to learn how to fend for himself early on. Knew how to cook before he could read, I reckon,”

“Niall can cook?” Harry asked a little incredulously, he’d never seen Niall even try. Or offer.

“Course, Curly!” rang out a voice behind Harry. He turned to see Niall all dressed in his suit. It was a dark gray with a white shirt. His tie was striped, pink and white. He even had his corsage tucked in. Niall had barely ever bothered to throw on anything more than a simple tee and some sweat shorts, and this was a far, far cry from that.

“You never cook me anything!” Harry pouted, breaking his eyes away from how long Niall’s torso looked. And how solid his arms looked. And how _good_ he just looked, just all over.

“Why would I when I have you willing to make me things any time I want,” Niall countered, walking over to bump shoulders with Harry. It was a neutral greeting, one to say a quick ‘hi’ while his father was still standing by.

“Yeah, the kid can cook,” Bobby agreed, “Tell him to make you a sausage pie. His mother taught him well!”

Then the awkward silence caught up to them, the one that always followed the three of them around whenever they were within reaching distance.

“So…” Niall started, looking between his father and boyfriend, as if expecting them to either strangle each other or hug, “What’ve you been up to?”

“Just ate some breakfast, got showered, got ready… met your granny!” Harry nearly yelled, thinking of how entertaining Niall would find that. Sure enough, Niall barked out a laugh.

“You met Nanny? Isn’t she the greatest, God! Did she give you a hug? Wait ‘til she gives you a hug! Nanny gives the best hugs!” Niall basically screamed.

“I see you two’ve got some catching up to do,” Bobby said as he backed away, “I’ve got a bakery to call. See you at the church!”

It was an odd exit, a forced one. But Harry appreciated the alone time because he didn’t know how long he could have Niall in a suit standing in front of him and still be expected to keep his hands to himself. He didn’t have to wait long, though, because as soon as Niall saw his dad leave the front door, he grabbed Harry by his jacket and pulled him in for a kiss. It was short, but it was enough to let Harry know that he was still there. Harry let his hand linger on Niall’s forearm, feeling the smooth material run under his fingers.

“So, like, what was that?” Niall asked.

“Dunno. I just stood here looking at picture of you, you were damn adorable by the way, and he just started talking to me. Telling me stories behind each one… it was kinda nice, actually?”

“He didn’t say anything right? Anything that seemed off?”

“Honestly? He just wanted to make sure your feet were planted firmly on the ground. Wanted to make sure you were being a good boy so far away in Michigan. Almost lit up when I wouldn’t shut up about you,”

“Ha, yeah, that’s Bobby. Would probably rather see me die than get an ego about me. Doesn’t have to worry, though. Not when I have you,”

The smile Niall shot him then made Harry feel weak at the knees. It was nearing normal lunch time and Niall started complaining about the lack of food in his stomach, so they walked back to the kitchen together to get something to eat before the ceremony. Niall just laughed when he saw Harry’s breakfast plate sitting on the table, the black pudding left untouched.

**

Harry cried. He told himself he wouldn’t, and really before the ceremony he hadn’t even seen a reason to. So he didn’t really know why he did so anyways. It had started when Denise walked down the aisle, looking graceful and beautiful in her big, white dress. And he cried again during the couple’s vows, and again when they kissed for the first time as husband and wife. Maybe, too, Harry thought it might have something to do with Niall. The way he looked out onto his brother and his new sister-in-law with such adoration and admiration. It stirred something within him.

This was new for Harry, to see a happy and hopeful couple. Besides his parents’ divorce, neither of them had ever held a new boyfriend or girlfriend for long. Gemma had rarely ever had anyone in her life. Even his own first relationship had lasted only a few months, and then continued to end in a clusterfuck. But Niall…

It’s not like Harry was thinking about marrying Niall, because that was just dumb. They were eighteen for crying out loud! There was just something different in their relationship, is all. Something that Harry saw in Denise and Greg. He didn’t know what it was, but it excited him all the same. It just felt right being in Boston, getting to see these other layers to a boy who had always been so open to him. And as the happy couple walked down the aisle, greeting their friends and family in the warm and welcoming church, Greg latched onto Harry’s neck and pulled him in for a bear hug.

“Glad you could be here, really,” he said, before moving on to the man in the pew behind him. A simple sentence that latched itself into Harry’s heart, pulling at the strings and threatening to release tears once again.

**

After the couple finished their procession back up the aisle, the guests spilled out onto the pavement in front of the church. Inside the wedding party was taking pictures with the newlyweds, and outside everyone else was talking to the people they knew. Friends talking to friends, family talking to family. But Harry didn’t belong to either side, really. He usually felt that he did fairly well in social situations. “Shy” wasn’t really his thing, but it was a bit different like this. He couldn’t find any starting points for conversations and he barely knew how to introduce himself. That seemed to be a job for Niall. So he kept off to the side to stand in the shade, waiting for Niall to return. He didn’t have to wait long.

“Psst, Curly!”

Harry heard the hushed whispers before he could even see Niall. He spun his head around, looking through the throng of people, before someone latched onto his arm and pulled him around the corner of the church. Embarrassingly, he let out a high squeal.

“Keep it down, Christ, don’t need anyone to think something’s going on back here!” Niall said as he tried to press his hand over Harry’s mouth, though he laughed.

“Well, fuck,” Harry said after he got Niall off of him, “I’m in a strange town! You could’ve been anyone!”

“Yeah, I’m sure everyone here calls you by your nickname, Christ. Now follow me,” Niall demanded as he pulled on Harry’s hand and led him towards a side entrance to the church.

“What are we doing? Niall, I’m not doing anything sacrileg-”

“Fucking hell, Haz, who do you think I am? Denise just asked for you to get in here so you could be in some of the pictures,”

“Me?” Harry asked, squirming under Niall’s grasp and wondering why the hell they’d want him in on the photos. He wasn’t friends and he certainly wasn’t family. He was just… Harry.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. We’re already done with the wedding party. Just family time now. She thought it’d be cute if you could be in some, I didn’t object,”

The inside of the church was growing hotter as the sunlight continued to creep in. It was old and Harry was pretty sure it didn’t have any AC. As such, anyone who wasn’t currently in front of the camera was sprawled across the pews with their shoes and jackets off.

“Oh, there you are!” Denise yelled as Harry came into sight. She opened her arms for a hug which Harry felt he had to fall into.

“Wouldn’t feel right if we didn’t have at least _one_ picture with you in it. Greg agreed,” she continued, her smile wide and inviting and her arms holding him tight. Greg nodded next to her.

“No problem, really. It’s more fun in here, anyways. With you all,” Harry responded.

So they all moved into the center of the church, right in front of the altar. Greg and Denise turned towards each other in the middle while his parents stood on the other side of them, arms around each other’s middles. Harry and Niall stood next to Greg, with Niall draping an arm around his brother’s and his boyfriend’s waists.

“What a pretty family,” the photographer said before a barrage of flashes went off. Niall just squeezed Harry in tighter.

**

When they told Harry that the reception would take place at Denise’s parents’ house, he didn’t know what to expect. He certainly was not expecting a bayside, magnificent home. Sure, the water was across a busy road and it couldn’t be called a _mansion_ , but it was big enough. Inside were daunting staircases and tables littered around the house for people to eat at. In the yard was a bonfire, already roaring to life even if the sun was still up. Pieces of Denise were everywhere, from the pictures over the mantles to the small flowers on all the tables.

Niall’s parents drove the two of them to the house, though it was only a short ride from the church. When they arrived the streets surrounding the house were already full of cars. Niall had to break away to take more pictures so he told Harry to pick any table and save him a spot. Harry wandered around the party, finally finding a table with two extra seats out on a porch that looked onto the water.

A man across the table introduced himself as Denise’s uncle, and sitting with him were her aunt and three cousins. They were the first people to really try to talk to Harry since the wedding had started, and it helped him feel a little more at ease. The family was from upstate New York but said that Boston always seemed to feel like home. When Harry said that the next day he would go off to explore the city they offered him many sights to see. In particular, they seemed to be extra ecstatic about the food.

“They’ve put together a good ‘ol clambake here! My sister spared no expense with the food, you won’t be leaving this party hungry, young man!” Denise’s Aunt Sara said. Harry just smiled and nodded along, even if he despised seafood.

But soon enough the family wandered off to meet up with others they knew, and once again Harry was left alone. He decided to not waste him time waiting around for Niall to come back from whatever the hell he was doing; instead, he headed off in search of something to do. The backyard was full of old dudes smoking pipes and cigars and the ground floor held small groups of strangers standing around with glasses of wine in their hands, talking of things unfamiliar to Harry. So he slipped up the stairs, even if he was kinda, like, pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to be up there.

The upper floors were wildly different from the party gathering steam downstairs. No one was around and there was a hushed silence as the din from the wedding was muffled by windows and the floor. The bedrooms looked lived in as no one had bothered to fix them up during the craziness of the earlier day. It was a stark contrast to the ordered precision of the neatly-lined name cards and perfectly-coordinated colors from the wedding. Eventually, he went up the final staircase and found exactly what he had been looking for: a billiards table.

It would be fun enough to entertain him, and he was actually rather good at it if he said so himself. He only hoped that no one downstairs would be able to hear. So he found a rack and set up the balls, grabbed a stick and went at it. Even though it was a little ridiculous, he found himself getting further and further into his stupid little game. The only thing to pull him out was a hand at his back and a whisper in his ear as he was about to attempt to get two balls in at one go.

“You’re gonna scratch,”

Harry startled, sending the cue off wildly through the table and hitting his knee against the table. He spun around quickly to see Niall standing there.

“You scared the shit out of me, you little shit!” Harry said, trying to sound angry, though he had the feeling that ‘giggly puppy’ was what came across.

“Was the intention, I think,” Niall said with a grin spreading over his face that Harry just wanted to kiss off. So he did, grabbing Niall by the front of his vest and hauling him forward.

They really didn’t waste any time because they knew they didn’t have it. Niall cupped his hand around Harry’s neck and started pushing Harry back further and further until he felt himself being bent over the table. Suddenly, though, Niall was pulling back to take a breath.

“Today…” he started to say with flushed cheeks “has just been a really, really good day,”

“Hmm?” Harry hummed, laying into Niall’s neck, “tell me more,”

“Greg’s absolutely buzzing, he couldn’t be happier. And Denise was gorgeous and so full of light. Everything was perfect, even if I had to take pictures for like two hours. It was all worth it,”

Harry hummed an affirmation as he switched sides, making sure to ghost over the skin only lightly as to not leave any marks.

“And… fuck, Harry. I’ve been dying to tell you all day and you’ve got to keep it a secret, right?”

He pulled back to look Niall in the eyes, “Alright, crazy, what is it?”

Niall started to shake and bounce on his toes as the secret slipped from his mouth as a quick rush of words, “deniseispregnantandimgonnabeanuncleohmygod,”

Harry’s eyes grew wide as he deciphered Niall’s rushed sentence.

“Oh my God, congratulations! How’re your parents taking it?”

“They’re overjoyed, naturally. The whole family is! But they’re not ready to tell some others yet so keep it on the D.L. okay?”

“Okay, Ni. I won’t go telling virtual strangers about the resident of your new sister-in-law’s womb,”

“That’s all we ask for, really. Now let’s get going back downstairs. Dinner should be served soon,”

“Dunno, think I wanna stay up here with you ‘til they force me to leave. Not hungry,”

“Well, that makes one of us,” Niall countered, pulling on Harry’s hand until they were finally returning to the rest of the party.  

Back at their table, the family they were eating with was already being served. On the plates were various pieces of shellfish and vegetables, but in front of Harry sat a heaping pile of chicken fingers and French fries. He was confused to say the least, especially since it matched the meal given to the seven year-old to his right.

“Why did I get a kid’s menu?” he whispered to Niall at his left.

“Because I know you don’t like seafood and I didn’t want you to starve. And don’t even dare say you don’t want chicken strips because I’ve literally never seen you turn them down. Here, have my corn,”

Harry wanted to protest because he didn’t like being made out to be a child, but honestly he wasn’t going to touch whatever was on Niall’s plate with a ten-foot pole.

“Thanks,” he muttered, stroking over Niall’s knee. He could feel it go weak under his fingers. And at least his adulthood was restored when a carafe of white wine was placed in front of him.

“Do I even want to know how expensive this was?” Harry asked.

“Probably not, but drink up all the same. You’ll probably never drink something as good as it in your life,”

**

Four chicken fingers, three glasses of wine, and two slow dances later, Harry was being led across a busy street by Niall. A picnic blanket and another bottle of wine were in his other hand. He didn’t know where they were going or why they were leaving the party, but there was just enough wine around for him to not care. Finally, Niall stopped at a small park that jutted out into the bay. Harry could still see the house and could still hear the party inside so he knew they weren’t far, but it was enough that they felt separated. And alone.

They both collapsed onto the open blanket, Niall taking a swig out of the bottle and passing it to Harry.

“Is it alright to drink out of something this expensive?” Harry asked.

“Nah, this is a cheap one. They wouldn’t have let me have it if it was one of the expensive ones. Feel free to not worry about glasses,”

Harry nodded and took a swig. It wasn’t as good as the first had been, but his experience with wine was short and it all tasted good to him anyways. Niall reclined on the grass, staring up into the expansive sky and silently waiting for Harry to join him. When he did, Niall took Harry’s hand and started bouncing it off of their legs. He was being fidgety and oddly quiet. That usually meant that Niall needed to talk. Like _talk_ talk.

“So, Coach Cowell called today before the wedding. When I had first woken up and stuff,”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Um, the Blue Jays have been following me for a while now. We’re their feeder team, you know. And… well they want me to head up to Toronto to visit with the team and go see them play. They want to see _me_ play,”

“Holy shit, Ni, that sounds incredible!”

“Yeah, it means they’re interested in me. Like they’re really entertaining the idea of adding a cute little Irish first baseman,”

Harry could tell Niall was excited because this was his life and his love, but the constriction of his voice and the squeeze of his hand led on that maybe he was a bit scared too.

“I’m so proud of you. So so proud of you. This is what you’ve been waiting for and striving for. I have faith in you,”

“It’s just gotten me thinking about the future, is all. What we’re gonna do,”

“Niall Horan if you’re breaking up with me at a wedding over a bottle of wine I will never forgive you,”

“Shut up, Curly. I could never break up with that face. Everything just feels more adult now, I guess. We have to make a long-distance relationship work, and I’m getting a job in Braxton. A proper one at a coffee stand down the mall. I’m learning to drive, too. Fuck, Curly, I don’t want to be nineteen. I want to stay eighteen forever. Eighteen was a good year,”

“Yeah, it was,” Harry sighed, thinking back to all the hell he’d been through, that had been overshadowed by the wonderful summer that he could have never dreamt of, “but I think the best is yet to come. I can’t wait to bring you to Northwestern and show you around to all the places I frequent. To have to hold out for you, to cherish the time we have together even more because we have it less. I want to kick my roommate out of the room and hang a sock on the doorknob and make the neighbors learn your name,”

“Shit, don’t say that,” Niall said with a grin.

“Eighteen was good but it was pretty shit, too. I think we can make nineteen even better, honestly. Especially, like, together,”

“I guess if I did have to pick someone to spend nineteen with, it’d be you,”

“So when you heading out to Toronto? October?”

“Uh, no. More like… the day after we get back to Michigan?”

Harry turned his face to see Niall looking at him with his lip trapped between his teeth. He didn’t want Harry to be mad.

“It’s not like it was your choice! I’m not gonna be upset! Too proud of you,”

Niall hummed his happiness and leaned into Harry’s head, making their hair mesh together.

“And don’t worry” Niall started, “I’ll be back in time for my birthday. Because if I _have to_ turn nineteen then I’m sure as hell not doing it with anyone else,”

Though it was growing late, they sat a bit longer in silence like this. The bottle of wine had long been forgotten and now they were just getting drunk off of each other. The smell of their colognes and the feel of their palms pressed together. The sound of how their breathing naturally matched up. It wasn’t the first time Harry felt in sync with Niall, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last.

After a while, though, the hour caught up to them. Harry, for the third time in as many minutes, tried to stifle a yawn. He was pretty shit at it, though, and Niall noticed.

“You ready to head home?” Niall asked.

“Ni, we can’t. The best man can’t leave the party before most of the guests, even if it is… late,” Harry answered, looking down at his wrist, to where he had forgotten to put a watch.

“As if Greg gives a shit. He’s way past tipsy and he’s surrounded by all his friends and his new wife and he’s in love and it’s his wedding night. It’ll be okay if we go back to mine, promise,”

Harry wanted to object a bit more, because he really doubted it should just be that easy. But he had come to learn that Niall and his family worked in mysterious ways, and usually it was better to just accept things as they came.

“Yeah, okay, let’s get going,”

They walked the few minutes back to the house, the lights and sounds still radiating through the neighborhood. Harry wondered idly if the neighbors cared, but really, it was a wedding, and nothing should get in the way of someone’s happiest day. The two of them found everyone before leaving, most of the family was planning on sleeping over at the house whether in one of many bedrooms or even on a spare sofa, and Greg and Denise were happily lolling by the DJ booth; giggling and stuffing extra bits of crackers in each other’s mouths. The newlyweds were sad to see them go, but after a few hugs and kisses and the insistence to call a cab for them they finally let go.

Both of the boys sat together on the front stoop, waiting for their taxi to arrive. They knew it’d be a few minutes and that they could’ve easily stayed back in the party continuing on behind them for a few more minutes, but they liked it better on the steps, alone. The ocean was crashing against the beach just across the road and the stars were shining as brightly as they could through the light pollution of Boston. It was a perfect moment of serenity, one they wanted to slip into further.

Although it was a bit difficult with their height difference, Harry rested his head on Niall’s shoulder. Niall had already slipped off his suit jacket in the surprisingly warm September night, and Harry had untucked his shirt and had slipped his hand underneath to dance shapes on Niall’s skin with his finger.

“You know what?” Harry asked, his voice quiet even though the party gave them a dome of silence.

“What?”

“I’m so… god damn horny right now,”

Niall silently giggled and Harry could feel his body shake against his own.

“Well, Curly, what would you like me to do about that?”

“Dunno,” Harry said as he stretched his neck so his mouth was mere centimeters from Niall’s neck, “just want you,”

“Stop,” Niall warned, his hand grabbing onto one of Harry’s, which was trying to ruck up his shirt in the front, “Not now,”

There was an edge to his voice, but Harry could tell that it didn’t come from anger. More like it was a result of fingertips skating across skin, and how that always drove Niall crazy. Soon enough, a white car rolled up and their ride home had arrived. They scrambled in, Niall leaning towards the driver and giving him his address. He lingers a moment longer, though, and whispers something to the man in the front seat as he slips a tenner through the window. The driver grabs it, flips his hand through the air, and then Niall is closing the little divider and leaning back into Harry.

“So you want me?” Niall asked. The light inside the car had turned off so Harry couldn’t see his face, but he was sure that his grin was particularly shit-eating.

“I’m not so desperate that I’ll get off in the back of a taxi, you little voyeur,” Harry gritted out.

“No, idiot. Just shut up,”

The rest of the ride was a bit of a blur of hands skirting over expensive suits and sloppy mouths trying to connect. Harry didn’t know if it was that last bit of wine catching up to him or if Niall just made his mind go all fuzzy. Either way, he didn’t put much thought into his actions and he just _did._ Did what felt right and what felt good. He particularly liked the way Niall would push him down in the seat, pressing his shoulders back so Harry was almost immobile. It seemed to be a miracle that they got all the way to the house fully-clothed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, it's reallllly reaching the end here so I've been struggling with wrapping everything up in a way that I like. 'S why it's been taking so long. Hope you like this chapter, though! Tell me your thoughts!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was gone; packed up in his mom’s car and ready to move to Illinois. It was a little hard to swallow because this small bedroom had really become home to him. The apartment which had once seemed so tortuously cramped and impersonal had become a lifeline. And there was Niall, struggling to get into a pair of sweats that Harry was sure was his own, in the center of it all.

If there was a hell, Harry was pretty sure it was the Baltimore airport. Their flight home was supposed to leave at a bit before 12. Instead, it left at half past one. As lucky as they had been on the way into Boston, Flight 2221 from Baltimore to Detroit was waiting for no one. Not even two tired, cranky boys who just wanted to get home. So Harry had called his mom, panicking and ready to cry, and they had been able to finagle a flight that would land at eight. It was a few hours behind what they had wanted, but it still got them home.

He probably hadn’t intended to, but Niall had fallen asleep shortly after the two had settled on the floor with their lunch. A turkey sandwich and a bottle of apple juice to share hadn’t really been a lot, but it was what their wallets could afford. Niall tried to complain, but he grew quieter and quieter until he was curled around his backpack with his head in Harry’s lap. As if Harry’s role in Niall’s life had become giant, cuddly pillow. But really, there were worse things to be.

Harry couldn’t sleep, though, not even if he wanted to, because the rush of the weekend was still catching up to him. The images and the sounds of Boston were all replaying over and over in his head. It seemed almost like a dream, like something that really shouldn’t have turned out as well as it did. He’d always known he’d remember his time in Boston for the rest of his life, but on the way there he had expected to for a very different reason. He had visions of Niall and his father screaming at each other and awkward glances at the wedding and being too scared to sleep anywhere but the couch. Fortunately, Harry’s worrisome nature had proved him wrong.

Instead, Harry would forever remember walking through Boston Commons hand-in-hand with Niall as they ate ice cream cones. Playing beer pong in Darren’s kitchen. Visiting Fenway Park and seeing where Niall’s love for baseball blossomed. Niall saying, “and this is Harry, my boyfriend,” to everyone he met at the wedding. Standing on a bridge over the Charles as the sun set and just… soaking it all up together. Smushing cake into each other’s faces when Denise and Greg refused to do it first. The weekend hadn’t been perfect, but for some reason Harry just couldn’t remember the bad times.

Not when Granny Horan had gotten his address so she could mail him a scarf for Christmas. Not when Denise cried as he left that morning, blaming it on the pregnancy hormones. Not when Maura snuck an extra tin of cookies into his bag. Not when Sean had given him his number so that they could “like text or play Draw Something or I don’t know”. Not when Bobby and pulled him aside, right before their bags had gotten packed in the car, just to give him a hug.

“Look after my boy, alright?” he had said, staring straight into Harry’s eyes (and seemingly his soul) to make sure he heard.

“Of course, I always do,”

“Good. I believe you,”

The ride back to the airport had been much better. The mood in the minivan had changed considerably, with Niall taking up the entire time getting the last few moments in with his mom before leaving for months. Harry felt comfortable and at ease, not feeling as if at any moment the tension in the air would collapse around them. And maybe it felt a bit better because Niall had decided to ride in the back with him, forgoing his passenger seat spot. It was comforting to have Niall’s foot hooked around his and Niall’s arm resting across the back of his seat. Like Niall’s own little way of making sure Harry knew he was still there. It helped, too, knowing that Niall was comfortable enough to display his relationship in front of his mother. Just helped to show that the weekend had been a bigger help than not.

**

The sun was already getting daringly low in the sky when they were finally able to board the plane. Niall had long-since woken up, and he was already growing restless in his seat. Harry wasn’t sure what it was like to fly with a small child, but he was sure Niall would give him good practice. It was incredible the amount of times an almost-nineteen-year-old could complain about being hungry in the whiniest voice possible.

“Ni, will you be alright if I use the toilet before we take off?” Harry asked hurriedly. They would be leaving the gate at any time and he was really regretting all the apple juice.

“I’m not a child, thanks!” Niall scoffed, though the way he was drumming into the tray folded out in front of him would imply otherwise, “I’ll watch over our stuff,”

Harry tried to rush in the bathroom because it was cramped and probably dirty and he could tell that the plane was ready to roll at any moment. But he also couldn’t escape thinking about how it’d feel to grab Niall in there and do something lewd like you’d only see in movies. But it was probably unsanitary and the lady who was sitting in the aisle seat would definitely notice and he was not ready to get arrested for a quicky in an airplane bathroom. He zipped up just as an attendant came to knock on the door and he was back in his seat before Niall could annoy anyone around them.

“I’m so booooooooored,” Niall moaned as Harry returned to his seat.

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“I dunno. I’m just sick of traveling. I’m sick of being away. I wanna be home,”

“You were just home, though,” Harry snidely remarked.

“You know what I mean, shut up. Boston will always be like _home_ but it’s definitely different for me now. I miss my room in Braxton and being able to go see Louis and I miss… your bed,”

Harry was afraid he would do something incredibly cute in retaliation to that, like grab Niall by the neck and pull him in for a kiss, but Niall decided to cut in instead.

“Oh yeah, while you were pissing you got a few texts,” Niall interrupted, “Might wanna check ‘em before we don’t get service anymore,”

With the mood thoroughly ruined, Harry stumbled through his bag to fish out his phone. It was hard to quiet the groan that escaped his mouth once he saw Carl’s name flash across the screen, though.

“What? What’s wrong?” Niall asked.

“It’s, ah, it’s just that Carl keeps texting me. I’m not even looking at them, promise,”

“What, are you stupid or something? Answer the man! I trust you! I’m not gonna bar you from speaking to other guys just because we’re together, that’s sick,”

“But you know what he was like last time…”

“And last time you hadn’t mentioned that you had a boyfriend. Now he knows. He obviously wants to talk to you. I don’t care if you respond, just read them for Christ’s sake,”

Harry sighed and tried to give off this look of ‘please back off’, but Niall countered with his own ‘stop being dumb’ look, so Harry found himself opening his phone to Carl’s messages anyways.

“Flack: All moved into ATL. Mind if I call you?”

“Flack: Listen I know I’ve been a dick. Gimme a chance to apologize,”

“Flack: This isn’t gonna be weird. I promise,”

“Flack: If you want me to stop, just tell me. I’ll stop. I need to know before I give up,”

“Flack: Har?”

“So is it bad?” Niall asked, trying to peek at the screen.

“It’s not… he just wants to talk,”

“Wow! What a shocker!”

“Shut it. I didn’t want to be dragged back into a mess, alright? That’s fair,”

“Yeah but you should have at least read the texts. It’s not like he has a history of coming onto you when he knows you’re taken. He sounds like an alright dude. Call him will ya?”

“Excuse me, sir,” a sing-songy voice rang from next to his ear, “but you’ll need to put your phone away. We’re ready for take-off,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry complied, turning his phone off and sticking it into his bag.

“I’ll call him, alright?” Harry continued, turning back to face Niall, “Tomorrow, when you’re gone. Tonight’s just about us, though. No Carl. No one else,”

“Well, I mean, I could take that. I guess,” Niall replied as he grabbed Harry’s hand in his own and held it on their armrest, finally settling down.

**

“Do you know what today is?” Niall asked from the middle of his closet, throwing clothes around so he could decide what to pack.

“Hmm, what?”

“It’s our two month anniversary,” Niall replied, with a straight voice, as if it wasn’t a big deal. Harry wasn’t sure, though, was it a big deal?

“Oh, what is it, the ninth?”

“Yeah,”

Harry thought back, and they hadn’t done anything really special on their one-month anniversary. Just stayed in like most other nights, like it wasn’t a thing. Because it wasn’t a thing, right? _Right_?

“Yeah, just remembered on the flight back. That’s cool, though, right? We’ve been together two months. It’s not, like, a long time. But I think it’s substantial enough to be kinda awesome,”

 _Yeah,_ Harry thought, _it kinda is awesome_. So he stalked up behind Niall and wrapped his arms around his waist, drawing him back to rest his head on Niall’s shoulder.

“Stop, Curly, I don’t want the guys to see,” Niall warned, and Harry could feel him tense up under his grasp.

“Ni, you need to calm down. The door is _locked_. They can’t get in to see us. You have to start feeling comfortable with this outside of the confines of my bedroom,”

Niall didn’t say anything more, just leant back into Harry’s embrace. To know that Niall was at least trying was enough for him.

“Oh, right!” Niall yelled as he hit the floor of his closet and went searching after something tucked away in a neat bin, “I’ve got something to give you,”

“Ni, wait, I didn’t get you anything! It’s just two…”

“Shush, Curly,” he said as he stood back up with his hands behind his back, “I didn’t, like, buy it. It’s just a thing to give… back,”

Niall said the last word with a grimace as he brought his hands out in front of him, showing the orange beanie that Harry had been missing for weeks.

“You thief, why’d you have this?” Harry asked as he took the beanie back into his hands again.

“Well, like, it’s not the only thing,” Niall replied, picking up the lid of the bin and showing the nice collection of Harry’s things stashed inside. There were a few items that Harry had noticed he was missing, but he had attributed it to the move or just carelessly setting things about after emptying the drier. A headband, a pair of white socks, a bracelet, even the Teenage Runaway sweatshirt that he had leant Niall so many months before. Two, to be exactly exact. But some of the other items Harry hadn’t even missed.

“Niall, Christ, is this like a shrine?”

“Don’t freak out, okay? It just started with the sweatshirt, is all. I forgot to give it back that night, and then when I tried to I just… didn’t. Because it was nice to have something of yours to keep with me when I was gone. It smelled like you and it reminded me of you and it was this funny, little trigger for a memory of a night I never wanted to forget. Then, it just escalated…”

“You could’ve just asked y’know,”

“It was all stuff you already let me wear! You probably just assumed I’d give it back… I don’t know it seemed kinda stupid at the start? Like was I really that gone on you that I needed something to remind me of you always? I was pretty gone on you…”

Harry grabbed the beanie and rolled it around in his hands. It was a pretty hideous one that he had bought in Jacksonville when the temperatures crept closer to freezing than they ever had before, and he really hadn’t worn it much since. He didn’t need it. Plus, it looked cuter on Niall.

“I didn’t even realize I was missing half this stuff,” Harry said, shoving the beanie onto Niall’s head and making sure it fit just right, “Keep it. If it’s important to you, keep it. I’m not gonna do anything with all this stuff. It’s important to you and I get why. Just… keep it,”

Niall pulled Harry down into a kiss, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck to gain any sort of leverage that he could. It was enough of an answer for Harry.

**

“What’re you plannin’ to do to me?” Niall asked as he walked with a blindfold over his eyes up the steps of Harry’s apartment building.

“Steal you away so you can never leave again,” Harry responded, tightening his grip on Niall’s bicep. Okay, so like three days without Niall around _in addition to_ not being able to text him due to the whole “different countries” thing had been a bit frustrating, but the fact that Niall had made it back in time for a birthday surprise had at least been nice.

“If you let me fall I swear to God you’re going down with me,”

“Ah, shut it! We’re already at the door,”

Harry quietly opened the door and motioned for the guests to get ready as he untied the scarf from around Niall’s eyes, letting it fall to the floor.

“Hiya!” Louis screamed, and Harry could see the bottle of Morgan already half-drained next to him.

“Happy Birthday, Ni!” Liam screamed, too. But his smile was brighter and he seemed about 150% less drunk.

It wasn’t much. Liam brought some balloons and there was a few streamers littered across the walls and the pasta carbonara was staying warm in the oven. It wasn’t much, but Harry didn’t think it was half-bad.

“I know there aren’t a lot of people here, but I think the people who _are_ here are pretty damn cool and Liam even skipped his calc class so he could come and-”

He was cut off with Niall pulling him in for a hug, standing on his tiptoes so that Harry knew it was a _really good_ hug.

“It’s perfect,”

They all huddled around the table, then, Harry scooping the pasta onto plates and doling them out to everyone. Zayn had almost come, actually. Almost had spent hundreds of dollars on a flight and skipped a few days of classes just to make it for Niall’s birthday.

“It’s not every day our favorite little first baseman turns nineteen, right?” he had asked, but his desire to _not_ piss his parents off overrode everything else.

“You guys didn’t have to,” Niall finally said, blushing in his seat.

“What, like this is a _burden_?” Louis nearly yelled, “Getting drunk with my best bro and my best buds, snarfing down some pasta, and getting to see you losers again? Yeah, right!”

“Lou’s been feeling a bit lonely since school started back up…” Liam started.

“Shut it before I decide to throw up on you,” Louis replied, trying to shove a large forkful of spaghetti into his mouth. It didn’t all quite fit in.

“I’m just… Liam, I’m so fucking happy you’re here. I thought I wouldn’t see you again until break,” Niall sighed.

“What about me?” Louis whined.

“I can see you whenever, Lou,”

“Yeah, but I’m just as special. If not more because I’m older and have better hair,”

“I love you and Liam equally, alright? Like brothers. You’ve become like brothers to me, and whenever you’re around I feel grounded and safe. That’s for both of you,” Niall turned to Harry, “And I like you a bit, too, I guess,”

**

Harry’s mind still hadn’t defogged when Niall climbed off of him and grabbed a spare towel to wipe them off. Liam and Louis were long gone, having left hours before with full tummies and an extra case of beer that Harry didn’t want. And then it was just Niall and Harry alone, and considering they were two teenaged boys with strong libidos and an impending deadline, it didn’t take long for them to find something to do.

They only had three nights left, three nights until Harry was gone at college and Niall started his job and they were going to be… not together. All the time. And it was Niall’s idea, originally, to take the time to try new things.

\- - -

“Like... you want to ride me?” Harry had asked, resting against his headboard as Niall simultaneously stripped down and rifled through Harry’s bags looking for the lube and condoms he had yet to unpack from Boston.

“Yeah. Like me on top, but your dick still up my ass and all that,”

“Sounds crazy romantic to me,” Harry added before laughing. Niall just shot him a scowl.

“Come on, Haz, it’s my birthday!”

“I’m not saying no! I’m just saying it’s interesting, ‘s all,”

Niall finally found what he was looking for, slipped off his boxers, and started crawling up the bed over Harry. Niall settled on top of him, drawing them into a long kiss that he let linger for longer than normal considering how hard they both already were.

“I just wanna leave you not being able to say anything,” Niall added quickly before grabbing Harry’s hand and slicking up his fingers.

\- - -

 “So it was good, right?” Niall asked, crawling next to Harry and trying to wipe off the cum that was already starting to dry on his stomach.

“That’s a word you could use I guess,” Harry huffed out, “Or, like, you could use amazing. Fantastic. Wondrous. _Insane_ ,”

In fact, the word Harry really wanted to use, but couldn’t find in his post-fucked haze, was ‘overwhelmed’. He just found himself missing the way that Niall had taken the lead and had pushed him into the mattress, constricting his movement. Even if it had taken him a bit to work up a rhythm and his legs had gotten a bit shaky towards the end, Niall in control had been, well, hot as hell. And after they had finished, and they both started to come down from their highs, Harry was left wondering why they hadn’t been trying _that_ all those weeks.

“There, you’re all back to being pretty,” Niall said as soon as he was done wiping Harry down, sitting back on his haunches.

“Ni, watch your knee,” Harry warned.

“Jesus Christ, Curly. My knee’s fine,” Niall whined, but he sank down on the bed anyways and let himself curl around Harry.

They were still blissed out, all flushed cheeks and hot skin. And very naked. Still very naked. The silence of the otherwise empty apartment was encroaching upon them, as was the late hour. Harry let his fingers twirl around Niall’s hair, getting him to lean into his touch. It was comforting, this familiarity of wrecking each other then gently pulling everything back into place. And the knowledge that it would have to end soon, at least for a few weeks, left a pit in Harry’s chest.

“That was a good birthday,” Niall said quietly, his voice all soft and satiated.

“I’m glad,” Harry pulled Niall in to kiss him on the forehead.

“I mean, it was a nice little party. And what just happened… was great too, trust me. But spending it with you was what’s important, really,”

“Stop…”

“I’m serious!” Niall chuckled, “I thought I’d be a little upset because my friends and family are back in Boston, but it’s hard to be sad when I’m around you. I don’t know, it’s weird,”

“Yeah, being in love’s weird,”

There was a silence, then, and Harry just relaxed into it.

“Did you call Carl?” Niall asked, almost in a whisper.

“Yeah,”

“And was it bad?”

Harry held his breath, and then finally admitted to it.

“No,”

“See! God, where would you be without me?”

“Honestly?” Harry answered, taking the time to actually think it through, “Probably slightly depressed, largely lonely, and still hung-up on my ex-boyfriend. Don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t found you,”

“You didn’t find me, Haz. We found each other and just kind of… grew together. Like, naturally,”

“Like a flower?” Harry asked, using his hands to show what he meant. Or whatever.

“Yes, if you’d like to use a really shitty metaphor, yes,”

“He just… he just wanted to tell me he was sorry. He had a lot to say about Atlanta, too. Apparently his new job’s loads better than his old one, which really I was glad to hear because _God_ was that a horrible fucking job. It was nice, in a way, to hear from him. Like, closure. That his life’s going well and so’s mine. We messed up in a few ways but it all worked out in the end,”

“I’m glad you called him, though. Really glad. I’m just… glad. I’m happy. About everything. Everything’s going well now, I think,”

“Yeah, ask me again in a few days though…”

“Don’t,” Niall warned. Harry just looked down at him with raised eyebrows and curious eyes.

“Don’t go feeling sorry for yourself,” Niall continued, “It’s going to suck, it is. Long-distance relationships are not easy and no one has ever claimed them to be. You’re gonna feel sad and lonely and you’re gonna want to mope but you just can’t, Haz. You can’t go doing that again. You can’t base your happiness around whether or not I’m around because I won’t always be! I love you… so much… but even I realize that I can be happy when you’re a hundred miles away. Sure, I usually wish you were there…”

“Usually?” Harry scoffed.

“Shut up! I just need you to try more, okay? Because it was harder on me knowing that you would get so miserable back here when I was gone. Made me feel like I was useless. Almost like it was my fault. It felt shitty! I didn’t like that! And I know you didn’t like moping that much, either. God, no one can like to mope that much,”

“I don’t, I don’t! I’ll try, okay? And honestly? I’m getting really excited for school. Even if we’ll be apart, I think I’m okay with it. We’ll still see each other loads, and go on Skype and call whenever we want. It’s not ideal, but it’ll work out,”

“Yeah,” Niall agreed, nodding his head against Harry’s chest, “You worry so much. Don’t worry about us. And if you must, worry _to_ me, not _about_ me. My ears are always open,”

 “You wanna go to sleep?” Harry asked.

“Nope,” Niall replied, though the drowsy drawl of his voice was saying otherwise.

“You wanna turn off the lights?”

“Now, you’re speaking my language, Curly,” Niall responded, sliding up Harry and reaching up to fit their mouths together as the light got turned off.

It was slow and languid, not rushed or hectic like sometimes their kisses could be. Instead, they reveled in their laziness in order to linger on one another. Memorize the taste, memorize the feeling and the sensuality of it all. Because they felt themselves slipping under, trying to feign off sleep for as long as possible. It came too quickly, though, and Harry found himself kicking up the covers and cuddling around Niall before he knew it. He just didn’t want to let Niall go, and most importantly, as soon as he woke up he knew it’d be one less night they had to spend together.

**

Their final morning was different, and Harry could feel it as soon as he woke up. Everything should have been the same, because not much had changed around him. Niall was still slumbering next to him, the sheet set on the bed was the same, the ringtone humming off his phone’s alarm was consistent to the one Niall always used, and the sun trying to beam through the blinds was the same sun that had always been there. But it was their last morning and Harry woke up with a pit in his stomach that was there to remind him of that fact.

“Why the loud?” Niall asked, muffling himself into the pillow. His hair was a mess and it looked like sex, still apparent after an entire night of sleeping on it. He was catching a slight cold so there was a rasp to his voice that sent a shiver down Harry’s spine, even if it was less due to arousal and more due to phlegm.

“I have to get up,” Harry replied, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. It was early, only half past five, but his mother wanted to be on the road by seven so what had to be done was going to be done, “You can go back to sleep and I’ll wake you when I’m closer to leaving, alright?”

“No way, Curly,” Niall replied, and he sat up too quickly in the bed. His head was not quite used to the movement so he bobbled around a bit before getting settled in his skin again, “I’m not wasting any time with you. If you’re awake, I’m awake,”

“I need to shower, though,” Harry whined.

“What a coincidence,” Niall wiggled his eyebrows, “Me too,”

“Ni, stop, my mom’s still home,”

“Listen, Haz. I can either go in there and shower with you or walk out into the kitchen, grab a bowl of cheerios, and greet your mom with a kiss on the cheek all whilst reeking of sex,”

“Neither of those are particularly nice…”

“She knows we fuck. It’s alright. What else would we be doing, banging around back here until all hours of the morning? High-intensity Jenga? We won’t _do_ anything because that’s kinda awkward, and also I’m tired as hell. We’ll just get clean,”

It wasn’t like Harry didn’t want to, so without any further persuasion he helped Niall off the bed and threw him a towel. Having his mom see Niall naked was where he _truly_ drew the line. They crept quietly into the bathroom and Harry could hear his mom awake and in the kitchen already.

“You up, Harry?” she yelled out.

“Yeah, mom! Gonna go shower and then me and Ni will be out for breakfast,”

“Okay, take your time!”

Harry tiptoed into the bathroom, Niall already taking the time to pee. He turned on the water and jumped from foot to foot on the cold bathroom tile as he waited for it to heat up. Niall grew impatient, though, and pushed Harry in after a few moments anyways, following him a second after.

“It’s a bit chilly, don’t you think?” Harry asked as his teeth chattered.

“Good, it’ll wake us up,” Niall mumbled as he reached around Harry and grabbed the bar of soap and the washcloth. He ran it over Harry’s body first, making sure to get all the spots that were hard to get when you washed alone. Running down the small of Harry’s back and behind his knees. As Niall stood back up, Harry grabbed the cloth and soap and started to work down Niall’s body instead.

“I’m glad this is how we spend our last morning,” Harry slowly mumbled as he lathered up Niall’s chest.

“It’s not our _last morning_ , Curly. Just the last one for, like, a month,”

“We’ve only been together for two!” Harry laughed, “I’m just happy to get the last chance to remember all the parts of you. Like how dark your hair turns when you get it wet, and these freckles on your shoulder that get more prominent the further down on your arm they do, or how your breath hitches when I do this,”

And then Harry forgot all about lathering Niall up and insisted upon nibbling behind his ear, hugging him closer.

“D’you mind if I leave a mark?” Harry breathed out against Niall’s neck.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine,”

The red mark he was leaving behind Niall’s ear wouldn’t be too noticeable, Harry thought. As long as he held off on a haircut until it faded away no one would really see it, no one that Niall didn’t want to, at least. It was there, and it would fade far too quickly, but it would have to suffice. Niall stayed quiet and pressed small kisses into Harry’s shoulder as if to say that he understood. Understood why Harry to had to break their rule, just this one time, in order to leave Niall at least with one thing to remember him by.

“Now you smell like me,” Harry said with a small laugh as he finally pulled away, “Smell like Irish Spring instead of lemon,”

“Well, there are worse things in the world,” Niall responded before bringing Harry’s face down to him, kissing him properly and with heat behind every nip.

They tried to hurry up after that, not wanting to draw too much suspicion to themselves. With the suds thoroughly cleaned from their bodies, they snuck back into Harry’s room without much of a fuss. It was his room, though, that was the biggest shock to Harry. It had been completely emptied the night before, save the pile of clothes he had left on his dresser as his moving-in outfit. The knick-knacks that had once scattered his shelves were packed away in neat boxes, his clothes were gone from his dresser and closet, and even the photographs that he had so neatly displayed on his wall were wrapped up and ready to move onto another. He was right; they had been a pain in the ass to get down.

Everything was gone; packed up in his mom’s car and ready to move to Illinois. It was a little hard to swallow because this small bedroom had really become home to him. The apartment which had once seemed so tortuously cramped and impersonal had become a lifeline. And there was Niall, struggling to get into a pair of sweats that Harry was _sure_ was his own, in the center of it all.

**

They slipped into the kitchen and were greeted by a table of chocolate-chip pancakes and scrambled eggs awaiting them. Harry’s mom barely even said a word about their bathroom habits, only casually mentioning once that she “hadn’t even heard Niall take a shower this morning,” with a grin on her face that only a mother could pull off. She started the small talk first, asking Niall what his new job would entail. It was just a little thing, working at “Joe’s Java” at the mall. He said he’d always wanted to learn how to be a bartender, and at least barista still got the first syllable right.

Breakfast was short - too short. Before Harry knew it all the pancakes were gone and the excess syrup was scooped from their plates and the tea was drained from their mugs. No matter how much he wanted to sit at the kitchen table with his mom and Niall, and just talk about really anything he could get out of his mouth, they _had_ to go. College was waiting for him. No matter how much he tried to stall, telling yet another long-winded story to his mother about their time in Boston, moving forward into the future couldn’t be avoided.

“Do you need to get anything else from your room?” his mom asked him, finally finishing cleaning the dishes in the sink.

“Uh… yeah. Just need to grab my bag for the drive there. Everything else’s in the car,”

“Okay, take your time. Say your goodbyes as they need to come. If we’re late, we’re late. What’re they gonna do? Kick you out? I’ll be waiting in the car. You leave when you need to,”

Niall was waiting back in the bedroom, gathering his things in his little, neat, green backpack that he had come to take everywhere with him. Not much fit in there, just the change of clothes he had brought, his toothbrush, phone charger, and a DVD of Grease that they had managed to watch five times. It wasn’t a lot, but it was all of Niall that Harry had left in his little home. And then it was gone.

“Hey, heading out?” Niall asked as he heard Harry enter through the door. He spun on his heel to face Harry, and his eyes were red and his face blotchy. Not as if he were crying, but more like he had been furiously rubbing at his eyes in an attempt to keep it that way.

“Yeah, just need to grab this,” Harry replied, picking up a messenger bag that was resting against his bed and throwing it across his shoulder, “Oh, and this,” he continued, hauling Niall in and hugging him tight.

Niall giggled into his shoulder, and Harry thanked his lucky stars for it so that he could bottle up Niall’s laugh like a firefly in the middle of summer. There to brighten him up anytime he needed it.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” Niall said, as if that hadn’t been a theme of most of their recent discussions.

“Just remember me,” Harry added, thumbing across the bite he had left.

“As if I could forget,”

They stood like that for a while, not really keeping track of time and not really caring. Just bundled against each other as if their hug could stretch on into forever, keeping out the real world and everything it held for them. They knew that the second they tore apart they’d be thrust into the new and the exciting and the scary, and while they weren’t afraid, they were hesitant. So they tried to face it the only way they knew how, holding on to one another and becoming each other’s rock. Their chests were pressed together and they could feel the rise and the fall of their breathing, and if it ever started to pick up the other would just rub a soothing hand down their back or press their lips softly into the soft skin across their collarbones. They knew what they had to do for each other, but soon enough they became increasingly aware that they had to leave. The world wouldn’t wait for them forever.

“We ready?” Harry asked quietly, reaching down to tangle his hand with Niall’s. Niall nodded and they walked back through the apartment to the front door.

Harry said his silent goodbyes to all he passed. He said bye to the grey walls of his bedroom that held the secrets and whispers of his and Niall’s most intimate nights. And he bid farewell to the family photos in the hall that reminded him of memories from his childhood that he had nearly forgotten. And he snapped a mental picture of the sofa in his living room where his mother had graciously slept for nearly four months so her son could have his own room while he adjusted to a startlingly new life. The last thing he thought to remember and savor was the front door, where a cute, blond boy had first entered his home all the way back in the beginning of June, asking if he could catch a ride to Wal-Mart.

“Wait!” Niall yelled as Harry reached out for the door, “I can’t believe I forgot! I almost forgot!”

He dropped Harry’s hand and his backpack in one, swift motion, digging through the crap inside until his hands stalled on something and he whipped his head up to face Harry.

“Close your eyes!” he demanded, and Harry heeded. He felt Niall stand up in front of him again, and then something was snuggly placed on his head.

“Alright, open ‘em,”

Harry forced his eyes open one at a time, but he couldn’t see anything. So he stuck his hand to the back of his head where he felt a bill, pulling the green snapback off and turning it to face him.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“I bought it a few years ago. I went to California on vacation with my family and we went to see a Giant’s game. I bought this before it started, and not only did I catch a foul ball, but I also got it _signed_ after the game. It was one of the happiest days of my life. So from then on this hat was my lucky charm. I took it to all my baseball games in high school and I pack it away for every away trip now. I don’t need it anymore, though. I want you to have it. Because even though I’ m not playing games right now, I still don’t need it when I pick back up. ‘Cuz I’ve got you and you make everything easier,”

Harry pressed his lips together, and he wasn’t sure if he was trying to suppress a grossly fond smile or a general sob, but it worked either way. He just turned the cap in his hands, looking over the gift.

“You trying to brand me?” he laughed, pointing out the name stitched on the back.

“Just like you,” Niall replied, rubbing over the lovebite.

Before he could do something stupid like leave another one or, God forbid, cry, Harry pulled Niall in for another hug. He mumbled something that was supposed to be a thank you into Niall’s shoulder, but no words came out. Niall must have understood it all the same, as the mark he left on collarbone was nothing short of a “no problem”.

**

“Are we set to go?” Harry’s mom asked as he climbed into the front seat. He nodded, with Niall still left standing next to the open window.

“Thank you, honey,” she said, reaching out a hand to Niall, “It’s been the greatest pleasure getting to know you. And keep in touch, Darling. You know where I am and I don’t have any children left in the house so it’s a tad lonely!”

“Will do, Miss Styles,” Niall replied with a nod of his head.

“Oh, it’s Anne, please! Already feel old enough with my baby leaving me,”

“Of course, Anne,” Niall said, reaching in to kiss Harry’s cheek and then back away from the car. He offered a stale little wave from his perch, and it was obvious that he wasn’t leaving until the car was gone from sight.

“Have a lovely day,” she said before leaning over to whisper to Harry, “Are you ready?”

He nodded and she waved back to Niall, Harry taking the moment to offer the tiniest of smiles back to him, and then they were pulling away, out of the apartment complex, onto the highway, and westward towards the future.

“Nice hat,” his mom said a few miles out of town, and that’s what finally broke him. He had been trying to fight the tears off for as long as possible, but they crept down his cheeks anyways.

“You just cry, Harry,” his mom started, “If you wanna cry, cry. If you don’t, don’t Wanna talk? Great! I’m all ears! Want me to shut up? Tell me! You wanna pull over so you can catch your breath? Today’s your day! You tell me what you need,”

He could feel her hand on his shoulder so he reached his arm over and grabbed a hold of it, because that was what he needed. He needed to cry and he needed to feel safe.

Eventually he let go, trying to calm himself down because he felt he was a being a bit ridiculous. It’s not like Niall and he had never been apart before, but there was something so much more concrete about this that he just couldn’t shake. He tried everything to get himself to feel better, and most of it worked. There was a water bottle next to him that helped his throat feel less constricted and putting on sunglasses helped him feel less pathetic, like if someone looked into their car they wouldn’t see his puffy, red eyes. He decided to nap, knowing that he hadn’t had much sleep, so he made a pillow out of a spare sweatshirt and stuck his earbuds in.

“Honey, what’s the matter?” his mom nearly yelled as Harry let out a spectacularly loud and broken sob. He really thought he had taken Niall’s songs off of shuffle.

**

They were about an hour from Chicago, Harry estimated, when he stopped feeling like shit. He had finally gotten the nap in, the sun was dancing in and out of view from behind the clouds, and it was shaping up to be a really nice day to spend on campus. The feelings of loneliness and sadness were leaving his gut, and taking their places was a pit of excitement. Harry finally reminded himself that college was supposed to be, and would be, a hell of a whole lot of fun. There were new friends to make, exciting things to learn, fun concerts to go to, full weekends of drinking and partying. He would meet people from all over the world, new walks of life that he had never bothered to get to know. His future was unfolding from out in front of him, and it didn’t look scary anymore.

The feeling continued over as they reached campus, Harry jumping out of the car to check in and get his room key. He was in a residence hall on south campus, and as he pulled up it kind of hit him square in the chest. _This_ was home. This stone building with ivy-covered walls and students pouring in and out of the doors was his home now, and even though it felt foreign, it felt right. His room left a lot to be desired, but he didn’t know what else to expect with a dorm room. There was an ugly, red carpet on the floor and the walls were stark white cement blocks. He at least was happy that the window was big and that his roommate wasn’t there yet so he could choose which side he wanted – left.

Considering how long it had taken him to pack, unpacking went incredibly easy. A few people stopped in to say hello, including his RA and a nice selection of girls and boys. Most of the boys were nice and they seemed to be really friendly, some people he was sure he really wanted to get to know. The girls were an entirely different story. Without giving himself too much credit, he thought that he may have had a reputation around the hall as being kind of hot. Whenever a girl stopped by, barely a minute or two later a few more would be around, giggling and twirling their hair. If only they could meet Niall.

**

The school seemed to be hell-bent on keeping everyone in the dorms occupied and without a spare second as they get adjusted to their first day on campus. He was whisked from unpacking to dinner to a class-wide assembly with the dean to a party-like ordeal in the student union. There were a few people he found he quite liked; his neighbors in particular were nice. It’s just that after everything was over and done and he had gotten fifteen peoples’ numbers and eaten an obscene amount of fatty foods, he returned home to an empty room.

His roommate’s flight had apparently been delayed and he was scheduled to arrive early the next morning. Harry hadn’t really talked to him a lot, just knew he was a skinny kid from Australia with a habit of dying his hair too much. A few days before Harry would’ve thought that he’d appreciate one more night without someone else sleeping in his room, someone who could snore or talk or not ever go to sleep at a normal hour. But the silence was unsettling.

He considered calling the people he had met already, seeing if they wanted to sleep over or if he could go over theirs, but it all felt too weird. He didn’t want to be known as the weird, clingy kid on the first day. So he sat in his room, stuck staring between the blank wall opposite him and the one next to his bed that was covered in photographs. Caught between memories and boredom in a dangerous mix that Harry was sure would lead him to being caught in his own head, thinking of things that would send him bawling again.

It was already fairly late, one in the morning when he had woken up at 5:30. Brushing his teeth was weird, in a bathroom with five other guys trying to do the same thing. And his room was cold, the AC turned up way too high. It didn’t really feel like home yet, but he knew that it would probably get there. Eventually. He also guessed that it would help when another person would fill half of the room with his stuff.

Harry climbed into his little twin bed, wanting to go to sleep but not quite sure if he could yet. What he really wanted to do was call Niall, talk to him until his eyes were unable to be kept open. They had agreed, though, to hold off on texting or calling for a few days. Leave it so they wouldn’t rely on each other to get happy, not to mention they would have lots of cool stories to tell each other. At least they hoped. Instead, Harry did the next best thing and went through his memory bank.

He and Niall had had a lot of fun together, a lot of good memories that strung themselves together in his mind like an entrancing story. There were many he could pick from to fall asleep to: mini-golfing on a hot day, going to Wal-Mart, slow dancing with Niall’s cheek on his shoulder at the wedding, fucking for the first time. He went through them methodically, thinking of which one would give him happiness and not leave him feeling sad. And then he found it.

\---

It had been a few nights after their first _real_ kiss. Harry sneaking up, with Zayn’s aid, to a roof on the stadium. Niall was already there waiting, still in his uniform and cute as ever.

“Hey!” Niall said quietly, with a gleeful little smile.

“What’re we doing up here?” Harry asked.

“You’ll see,” he replied, “Here, come lay down next to me,”

They scooted together, lying down with their knees propped up together on the cold cement roof.

“Aren’t you scared of being caught?” Harry questioned.

“Nah, no one can see us from the stands and Zayn’s guarding for us. We’ll be fine. It’s a little more roomy than the closet, too, right?”

“Yeah, a bit,”

It was silent for a few moments, Niall reaching down to grab Harry’s hand in his own. Then there was a bit of muffled noise from the stands below before a streak of color burned through the night sky, exploding in a pop of blue above them. Harry’s mouth opened wide as another one followed it, and then another. Gold. Green. Purple.

Niall turned his head to the side, looking at Harry with a devilish grin.

“Did I do good?” he asked.

“If you’re thinking that I’ve ever had dreams about kissing you underneath fireworks, well you’d be about 100% right,”

And then Harry was hovering over Niall, completely ignoring the pops and bangs going on over him. He could see the colors sometimes, reflecting off of metal AC units around him, but mostly his mind was focused on niallniallniall. Niall’s hands rucking up the front of his shirt, Niall’s bare foot scratching along his calf, Niall’s mouth hot and needy for his own. It felt nice to finally be around Niall, finally be with Niall, finally be _on_ Niall. It was clouding his memory and his judgment.

He just knew that it was so young and fresh. They had barely even been doing _anything_ except pining after one another for a few days, and their future was still ahead of them. It was all a mystery to Harry because it was all still so new. He was used to Carl, and Niall wasn’t Carl, but Niall was good for him, he could already tell. He could feel how he relaxed under Niall’s gaze, got confident under his touch, was happier in his presence. Niall was what he had been waiting for since he moved to Michigan, the one constant in his life that told him not everything was falling to shit. Niall was peace in a war, the eye of the storm, a cuddle in a nightmare.  Harry didn’t know what would happen to him, how long they’d stay together, who would end up becoming unhappy first. As much as everything could go wrong, he knew the future was bright as well. Because he wasn’t letting Niall go without a fight, letting this new relationship end before giving it a chance.

Love was easy to shy away from. Carl had been a near disaster and his parents’ marriage was complete shambles. It had almost been easier to accept that it would take him a while to find someone that perfect for him, who would easily fill in the spots that others had left in their stampede through his life. Niall fell into place, easily slipping under him and into his mind. Harry never thought he was one for changes, but he’d let Niall be an exception.  


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~* one month later *~
> 
> I think I should make it clear that I uploaded a chapter before this today!!! In case that is not clear sry for confusion I just wanted the epilogue to be separate.

“Will you stop fidgeting so much?” Michael moaned. He was lying across his bed, fiddling with the electric guitar in his lap.

“Niall should’ve been here a half hour ago,” Harry whined, checking out the window again, as if that would make him magically appear.

“Won’t he call when he’s here or something?”

“I think his phone’s dead. That’s why I keep looking out the window, so I can see if he’s coming down the road. He should know how to get here, he promised,”

“I’m sure he’s fine. Where’s he coming from, anyways?”

“He’s taking a taxi from the Amtrak station. Oh God, what if the cabbie’s a murderer or something? Christ, I should’ve made sure he charged his phone before he left,” Harry started pacing again.

“He’s nineteen, not nine. You don’t need to hover over him,”

Harry checked his phone again, he thought he had to be setting a world record or something, but still nothing was coming through, “Are you gonna leave?” Harry asked, turning to Michael.

“Oh, so first you want me to calm you down, now you want me to get the fuck out?”

“I mean, you can stay until he comes. It’s just we have a lot of catching up to do after he gets here, and most of that will require no pants,”

“Right, got the hint. Don’t worry, I’m going over to Ashton’s for practice. Luke should be dropping by at any moment to pick me up,” Michael said, starting to put guitar back into his case.

“Luke’s still available to drive us down to Chicago in his roommate’s car on Sunday, right?” Harry asked. This trip had kind of been spur-of-the-moment and they hadn’t really ironed out all their travel plans yet.

“Yeah, yeah. Says you owe him a shift at work and gas money,”

“Got it,”

“Why’s Niall coming down this weekend, anyways? Didn’t you say he’s visiting for Halloween weekend?”

“Well, yeah, but I was lonely and someone offered to cover his shift at work on Sunday,”

“Lonely? He’s been gone for a month!”

“That’s a long time, Michael, Christ!” and Harry was yelling because he _had_ been irrational in the past. He had been irrational when the first weekend he had decided that he was going to quit school and move in with Niall, and he had been irrational (and drunk) when he had cried to Niall on the phone at four in the morning saying that he wasn’t going to come until it was directly because of Niall’s hand on his cock. But now, when he was tired and sad and missing Niall like crazy, he was surely _not_ being irrational.

“Whatever, must be a saint of a man to put this much effort into coming to see you for a weekend,” Michael mumbled, pulling the scarf tighter around his neck. Even though it was only mid-October, the air was getting increasingly chilly. Harry didn’t like it.

“Or I’m pretty good at sucking dick,” Harry quipped with a wink, and then Michael was out the door before he could gag.

Niall had sort of been a saint, though, putting up with Harry that month. He had been kept awake at three in the morning so Harry could drunkenly Skype with him, and he had even agreed to a spot of phone sex when things had gotten a bit rough there. It was never too much for Niall, and Harry couldn’t thank him enough. Couldn’t emphasize that he loved Niall with all of his heart and that he’d be lost without him. He could only imagine all the ways he’d have to repay him that weekend. Buying him some food and taking a walk along the lake, taking him to that stupid action flick that he had been dying to see since the trailer had first rolled out in early summer, or maybe even just staying inside all day and letting Niall dictate what the two of them would do.

There was suddenly a knock at the door, and Harry huffed off his bed. Michael forgot his keys at least twice a week, and Harry wasn’t always there to let him in. Running half-way across campus so Michael could get into their room was becoming kind of a thing.

“Will you stop losing your keys, dumbass?” Harry yelled before opening the door to see a different blond boy standing in front of him.

“Hi,” Harry breathed out. Niall’s nose was red from the cold and his jacket was hanging loose from his arm. A bag was dropped on the floor by his foot.

“Well, you letting me in or are we can stand like this like a couple’a idiots?” Niall asked, pushing past Harry and dragging his duffle with him.

Harry wasted no time, shoving Niall against the door and working their mouths together furiously. He smelled like autumn and sweat, and Harry wanted nothing more than to mask it with the scent of unadulterated sex. Manly, manly sex.

“Hi,” Niall mirrored as he pulled back. His cheeks were even more flushed than when he arrived and his lips were already started to plump up, “How’re you?”

Harry giggled, just giggled like a small child who had gotten his favorite toy. And, well, he had.

“I’m good,” he replied, getting back against Niall and pushing him flush against the door. Harry wanted to talk to Niall and hear his voice again, in person as opposed to over a line, but there was also this insatiable need to just feel Niall and make Niall feel good. But then Niall was pushing back, moving Harry towards the bed where they just sat for a few moments until something finally pulled them apart.

“Hi,” Niall repeated again, catching his breath.

“How’d you get in?” Harry asked, and a smile was spreading across his face, burning like wildfire.

“Some kid ran up and hugged me and then opened the door for me. I’m kinda in a travel haze so I just rolled with it,”

“Oh, that was probably Michael. My roomie, remember?”

“But like, isn’t he supposed to have blue hair?”

“He dyed it three days ago. It’s platinum now,”

“Ah, well then yes, that was Michael,”

Harry stayed quiet for a second, letting Niall catch him up on his day and how shitty the train ride had been, apparently. But he himself needed to let his brain rest and process that Niall was with him, sitting on his bed, finally. _Finally_. They were together again and nothing seemed sweeter.

As soon as Niall was done with his story, Harry swept in again and brushed his lips against Niall’s. Feeling out the familiar shape and taste that he was always afraid he was going to forget. He hadn’t.

“I’ve missed you so damn much,” Niall said, resting his forehead against Harry’s. “I’ve missed waking up with you curled around my side and making you watch action movies with me, and you’ll still play with my hair even though you’re not so into the movie. And I miss going grocery shopping with you and finding the best bananas to get. I didn’t realize back in September how much I’d miss those little parts of you. I miss how your hair curls around my fingers and how your feet go all pigeon-toed when you’re bored,”

Harry leaned back in to kiss Niall again, Niall’s hand cupping at his face to hold him still. Harry, in particular, had missed this. How Niall was just hitting his dominating stride as they were forced to go their separate ways.

“I missed you,” Harry mimicked, lying back on the bed and inviting Niall to get on top of him. Niall, understanding what Harry was getting at and very much excited for it to happen, stripped off his cream sweater and white undershirt. He leant down to nip at the skin exposed along Harry’s neck.

“What do you wanna do?” Niall questioned.

“Want you to fuck me,” Harry groaned, rutting his hips up to meet Niall’s.

“Wha… you sure?” Niall asked, his breath already starting to stutter.

“I just want what you want,” Harry added, biting his lip, “What do you want?”

“Well, I like it when you suck me off,” he started, Harry nodding at that because, well, he liked that, too, “And I like it when you let me take control,”

It seemed the hardest thing in the world to not groan out loudly at that.

“I like it when you scream out,” and then it was Niall trying to stifle the sounds threatening to escape his mouth.

“Yes, yes, I wanna do what you want,” Harry whined, and he could hear how needy he sounded, but it didn’t seem to bother Niall. Instead, it seemed to do quite the opposite.

“I’ve missed you,” Niall said with a smile as he started to unbutton Harry’s shirt, “I don’t think you even have a clue how much,”

Harry was pretty sure he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, now I'm done! This fic is finished and that's... insane. That so many of you have read this far is actually amazing to me because it's like proper book length now. Let me just say that I appreciate you so much if you've read all of this. Please, let me know what you think of it! I love feedback on my stories! I track my tag on tumblr so if you rec it or talk about it or just want to talk to /me/ just tag me and I'll see it and probably blush! And also probably thank you because I like to thank people who rec my things. Again, thank you thank you thank you. I hope you've enjoyed all of this :)


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